by Candy Nicks
"Down, Wolf. It's only his voice. He's not here. Yet."
Where is he? Find him. We must measure our strength to his.
"If he commands magic, we must protect ourselves.” She ran a finger over the engraved metal hanging at her throat. Though all but spent, the talisman might offer some small defence against this unknown threat.
"This is a meeting, not a confrontation. Anger will weaken us. Make us vulnerable. Remember that, wolf."
Don't tell Sol of this.
"I must. I will defy him but I will not put him in danger. Tomorrow, when we're away from here, I will tell him."
She reached for the door-latch, took a deep breath and let it out in a measured exhalation. Wrestling back control of the turmoil of tangled feelings crowding her brain. Fear and excitement too—if she would only admit it. This meeting with her father would clear away the last obstacle to a life of security with Sol. It couldn't come fast enough.
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Chapter 11
"What did you see?"
Tian stilled only a fraction, before continuing to remove the jacket. Sol listened to the rustle of clothing dropping to the floor, watched her naked shape slip into the bed beside him. Moonlight reflecting on snow lit the room enough for him to make out the contrast of dark hair on skin. Not enough for him to read the expression on her face.
He didn't need a light to tell him why she'd taken the jacket.
"A bathroom,” she said with laughter in her voice. “Let's make love again."
"Instead of talking about your father?” He stopped her roving hand. Held it firmly when she tried to push it away. “Tian, I've lived around the Lupine most of my life. When they want something they generally get it, one way or another."
"I was going to tell you."
"When you father appeared? No, don't change,” he said when she went rigid beside him. “I'm not angry."
"You are. Let me go!"
"All right, maybe I am, just a little. But with myself. I should have stopped you taking the jacket and I didn't.” He let go of her hand and rolled onto his back, putting the distance she needed between them. He didn't want her running off in panic, straight into the arms of her loving father.
"Why didn't you stop me?"
He pressed his fingertips hard to his temples. Turned his head to squint at her in the shady depths of the bed.
"Because you want this and there will be no peace for us until you lay the ghost of your father to rest."
And because, deep-down, he wanted this too? That question he refused to answer.
"I have to know."
Her words tumbled out on a choked breath, the half-sob at the end speaking volumes. He heard a low growl and knew the creature lying beside him was now neither human nor wolf. Lost in some in-between state, Tian fought battles that would never include him. It made him feel helpless when he needed to be strong.
"Come back to me,” he said measuring each word with care. “To stay safe, we need to work together. To remember the love we are building between us."
The bed dipped, creaked. Wolf eyes flashed. He watched her cross the room and heard the rattle of the flint-tin. The rasp of stone on stone. Light flared, illuminating the room in a sudden glow. Outlining Tian's curves. Catching the fire in her golden eyes. She stared back at him with the fixed intensity of the wolf.
"I told you I'd never be a dutiful wife."
"I don't want a dutiful wife. I do want a responsible one ‘though.” He stayed in place, propped on one elbow, the coverlet pooling around his naked hips. Everything below the belt throbbed with the need to go to her, to take her.
"Did you tell him where we are?"
"Not exactly."
Sol held out a hand. “I won't let this put distance between us. Fetch my jacket and bring it here."
Tian took a step back. “Your jacket? Why?"
It took all of his restraint to stay on the bed. Tian edged backwards, her expression wary, reminding him that hard-won trust could be shattered in the blink of an eye.
"If you insist on doing this, I will help you. It's not the kind of thing you leave to chance. I know your father. You don't. Now it's begun, we need to take and keep the advantage. Do you understand?"
A slight nod. He acknowledged it with one of his own.
"I'm not sorry."
"So I see,” he said, chuckling despite the seriousness of their situation. He pushed himself upright and beckoned her to him. “We'll send your father a message he can't ignore. Bring the Crystal."
Confusion replaced the defiance. As if now that she'd achieved her aim she was suddenly unsure. Sometimes she looked so bewildered his heart ached with the need to protect her and keep her safe from everything, including herself.
His cue to move. Tian resisted only slightly when he hooked an arm around her waist and pushed her towards the bed. “Here,” he said handing her the jacket. “Put this on. If we do make contact, I'd hate your father to see us like ... this.” He scooped up his discarded pants and stepped into them.
Back on the bed, he arranged himself behind her and tugged her into his embrace, snug between his knees. Placing a kiss on her cheek, he murmured, “But I do want him to see us like this."
Oh yes, he wanted her father to see where Tian's heart lay. To see how protected she was.
The Crystal came alive in Tian's palm. He'd seen his mother handle it. Marvelled at the way the stone would glow with white light and throb in time with her heart. Carefully channelled Lupine energy called on all the colours of the spectrum, making the Crystal glow like a miniature rainbow.
Sol mouthed a quick prayer and laid his own palm firmly over hers. His other arm he wrapped around her waist, steadying her while she called forth the power of the stone. Anxious to avoid the dizzy ride of the last time, he took a deep breath and schooled his thoughts until only one remained.
She's mine, you bastard. Try anything, and you have me to reckon with.
And he is ours. Tian's thoughts mingled with those of the wolf, floating through his mind while he struggled to contain the increasing power seeping through his fingers. Harm him and you will not live to see the next sun rise.
He heard laughter, echoing inside his head. A voice he'd wished never to hear again.
Peace, Sol. I wish only to meet with my daughter.
"I am no longer a child. Mark that.” Sol voiced his thoughts, ashamed at the way the man could still affect him. Angry at his own driving need for this confrontation after convincing himself he was above petty revenge. Abruptly, he removed his hand.
"Put it down,” he said, more sharply than he'd intended. When Tian didn't comply, he took the Crystal himself and slapped it down onto the night-stand. “I should never have brought it with me. Mother must have known you'd be drawn to it. What was she thinking?"
"Perhaps she had no choice.” Tian's voice held an unaccustomed resignation. “Or she knows something we do not? I only know this is something I must do."
"Even if it puts us both in danger?"
"Oh Sol,” she said throwing herself face down into the quilt. “Why do you keep asking me the same question?” She rolled onto her back, raising her head to regard him thoughtfully in the flickering lamplight. “I serve both you and my wolf. And, unlike you, I am not afraid of him."
The words cut him. “Then you don't need me,” he said. Words he immediately regretted.
For once, Tian was the calm one. “I think I need you more than I know. Only time will teach me that lesson. Don't be insulted by my words. My mother taught me to hate my father, and yes, she feared him. I have never known the real man. I cannot fear what I do not know. This is the difference between us."
"I would tell you about your father. If only you'd listen.” Sol picked at the quilt, ready to tear it to pieces as the feelings welling inside threatened to boil over.
"They would be merely words. The wolf, more than myself, needs to measure itself to the man. Only then will it live in peace. Let m
e go alone. Your past history with my father will only complicate things."
"Out of the question. I'm meant to be there. The Goddess has said as much."
Tian spread her arms wide, naked and inviting. “If nothing we do or say makes any difference, this conversation is pointless. He is an old man, Sol. The Goddess will be disappointed if she's expecting a fight between equals."
He was already pushing down his pants. Covering her. Joining with this woman who would, without doubt, continue to infuriate him for the rest of his life. He didn't want it any other way.
"I'm a man, Tian. A warrior.” He sank deeper into her. Made her gasp out his name. “Throw my pride the occasional crumb and I'll be content."
He caught her reply with his lips. Kissed the words away. He called himself a warrior. Used the word with pride. Yet, his sword remained un-blooded. The growing peace between the Settlements and tribes denied him the opportunity for glory his father had revelled in. They sang of his own bravery as a child, but an alarming gap remained between the child who had not hesitated to bury a knife in a man's thigh and the man who wandered aimlessly, sword at the ready, waiting for the call.
Spent, he rolled from Tian and regained his breath. In her usual style, the Goddess offered a poisoned cup. Kill Tian's father and the sagas would tell of the child grown to manhood. Of the burning obsession that drove him to heroic deeds. He would acquire a reputation, at last.
The cost? Too great to calculate.
"It's done. Now we wait.” Tian lifted his arm and folded it securely around her. With her other hand, she covered them both in the quilt. “The wolf sees you as equal. This woman is learning to love you as a woman should love a man. I suspect it will take me a lifetime of study. Will you be content with that?"
Sol gathered the crumbs and held them close. He would be more than content.
* * * *
The wolf had greater patience than the human. Tian breakfasted in silence, stuffing the buttered bread into her mouth so quickly that both Janelle and Sol looked at her with concern. Inside, her wolf stood sentinel, cautioning against any rash moves.
"We have no idea where he is,” Sol said when they were in the stables readying the horses. “Or how close. We could well be back in Wolf's Valley before he picks up our trail."
"He found Finn. He will find us."
"This is between us and him. I don't want innocent bystanders involved. Pass me the saddle-packs."
Tian hefted the leather bags. Too light to contain the whole of a life. Every day, she thought of the things she'd willingly left behind to be with Sol. Wondered if they'd still be there, should they ever return. Beside the bags lay his leather riding gloves. She picked one up and measured her small hand to the supple, well-worn leather.
Sol leaned over to press his palm to hers. “Size isn't always a measure of strength. You're proof of that. All my goods are on display. Yours, you have hidden inside. Do you realise the advantage that will give you?"
Tian closed her fingers around his and pushed lightly. Sol pushed back. They played the game until Sol conceded defeat.
"You do that to save face?” She genuinely wanted to know why he always let her win.
"Well, of course I do,” Sol replied dryly. “Don't ever challenge me to arm-wrestle, in front of my peers. I'd never live it down."
"I can never tell whether you're jesting or serious.” She studied Sol's face. Waiting for the tell-tale smile. She'd come to depend on that smile. Sol's way of telling her she was doing all right in this world of men.
He followed with an encouraging pat on the head, something she liked much less. She shook herself and folded her arms. “Have you paid for our lodgings? I assume the responsibility lies with the man of the house?"
"All paid for. Thanks and goodbyes formally attended to.” Sol glanced at the leaden sky through the open doorway. “Hoped to be further on than this for the sake of the horses. We may still outrun the worst of it if we keep moving south."
Tian joined him, although with the benefit of her wolf senses she did not need snow-clouds to tell her their journey would be difficult. For herself, she would have travelled in wolf form. For Sol, she put up with the cold and discomfort of the saddle.
He handed her the eye-shades. “Only until we get to Wolf's Valley,” he said when she wrinkled up her nose at the sight of them.
"They make me feel like a ... freak.” The irony gave her pause. Most people would think her wolf eyes freakish. She had always thought them her best feature. “Do I need to say goodbye to our host?"
Sol shook his head and shrugged into the sword-harness. “No need. Push my hair into my collar, will you? Best keep it hidden, even though we're off the main trading routes."
"I love your hair.” She reached up on tiptoe and rubbed the thick plait over her cheeks and lips. “Love the way it smells. Kneel. I want to kiss you.” His shivered reaction to her fingers on his neck made her fingers tingle.
Sol dropped to the straw without missing a beat. Bending his head, he offered his neck for her blessing. She lingered, wishing they had time for more.
"Every journey should start like this,” Sol murmured. He rose and pressed a swift kiss to her mouth. “When we ride, I want you in front of me."
"I can protect myself."
"Yes, I know. I need the peace of mind. Indulge me.” He handed her the mare's reins. Started from the stable with Balan in tow.
"Only to make you happy."
"Your wolf giving you grief?"
"Yes."
"Today travel with me. Tomorrow as wolf. Up you go. We'll retrieve our weapons and be away."
Sitting in front had its advantages, although she was reluctant to admit that the feeling of Sol solid at her back was a pleasant one. The action of the horse pushed her into Sol's lap and occasionally he groaned and dipped his head to nuzzle her neck. She pretended not to notice, drawing out the building tension with a secret smile.
When he wasn't kissing her and whispering outrageous suggestions in her ear, Sol sat loose and relaxed, a natural horseman to whom riding came as easily as breathing. He let her take the reins and set the pace while he held the mare's lead rein.
"I might well take a nap since your eyes are keener than mine. Wake me when your father turns up,” he said, lolling sideways. She called out to warn him. A split-second later, she realised from his rumbling laugh that he'd been in no danger of falling off.
"Don't,” she scolded. “It makes my wolf jumpy. No, don't!"
Sol homed in on her ticklish spots. She lurched forward, arching away from him, giggling despite herself and desperately trying to stop her wolf from joining in. Slapping Sol's roving hand away, she caught her breath and rested against his hard body.
"You are wicked to tease me. It's not fair since I've experienced so little of the world. How can you be this flippant when my father might appear at any moment?"
"It's what humans do. Tian, I haven't forgotten he's out there. And who said life was fair?"
"I will make a fool of myself. I know it. Everyone at Wolf's Valley will laugh at me."
"Silly girl. Remind me to tell you about the time I woke up after a particularly long night, naked and chained to the railings of the Wolf's Valley Temple. My poor mother claimed she couldn't show her face in public for three moons. Here, have a piece of candy. Oh, damn."
"What's wrong?” she said twisting around.
"Stop the horse. Think I pulled out Mother's Crystal with the candy-twist. I dropped it back there."
"I see it.” She slid from the horse before Sol could stop her. The protective velvet bag lay on the snow a few steps from where she'd pulled up the horse. “Steady girl,” she said to the mare. The horse sidestepped, nearly trampling the precious stone into the snow.
"Got it.” She snatched it up, nimbly avoiding the dancing hooves. “It's warm, Sol. More than warm. What does that mean?"
Sol's flippant mood evaporated. “Get back on the horse. Now. Take my hand."
T
he wolf reared, but thankfully understood the folly of bursting through while she was fully dressed. Tian muttered her gratitude and grasped Sol's fingers.
"Is it trying to tell us something? Does this mean he's near?"
"Let me see."
Tian tipped the glowing Crystal from the bag. Ripples of awareness lapped at the edges of her mind. A man, a woman. Fear. Threats.
"I see a woman. And a man. Add your energy, Sol; whoever is it, she's terrified."
"Oh Gods, is it Janelle?” Sol's large hand squeezed hers until the heat from the Crystal threatened to sear their flesh. “Do you see her? I'm so stupid. This is what he does. Cowards never makes a direct strike, they come at you from behind. Attack those you care for."
Tian removed his shaking hand and dropped the Crystal into the bag. “Are you sure you saw Janelle?"
"It was her. Can you feel him? Has he spoken to you in here, yet?” He tapped his forehead, all the former mirth gone now the enemy had finally declared himself.
"No. Calm yourself. It's only Janelle. Not your sister or your mother. No-one you care for ... Is it?” She couldn't help posing the last words as a question. When Sol didn't immediately reply, she narrowed her eyes. “You don't care for her, do you?"
"She needs our help, so yes, I care.” He was already handing her the mare's lead rein. Reaching round her to gather Balan's reins. He turned the horse sharply. “He'll kill her and lay her out like a sacrifice as a message to us. We must go back."
"It's only one possible future."
"One which must never happen."
"Sol, think about this.” She lunged for the reins. “Sol, stop."
"We're going back,” he said spurring the horse forward. “No time for debate."
"Stop right now or I'll change! I'll do it. I swear."
The horses came to an ambling halt. Around her, Sol's whole body shook.
For once, she had perfect control of herself and the wolf. “This is a trap no wolf would walk into. A human on the other hand, well ... I understand that someone like you would you wish to use your strength to help the weak. My father knows that, too.” She scanned the horizon, as if the man might magically appear from the ether. Sol's breathing slowed although his look of determination remained.
