by Candy Nicks
"I've seen into your mind, Daughter. Glower and rage all you like. You wouldn't kill your own father."
"My wolf would not hesitate."
"And you will always hold it back, like you are now. Accept it. You're back where you belong. I can make you forget him.” Jarek stepped so close she could smell his breath. For a brief, frightening moment, all she could see were his eyes, blazing amber. The distant mountains, the horses, the cage, all faded away, leaving her floating in a thick, impenetrable fog.
"No! Leave my memories alone.” She blinked rapidly to reorientate herself to the cage, sliding to the far corner. Distance broke Jarek's hold on her mind.
"Then co operate."
"Father..."
He was already swinging into the driver's cab, firing the engine. The transport lumbered onto the track, taking her away from Sol, perhaps forever.
The bars, Tian. Try the bars.
"I've tried. It's no good.” She pushed down the wolf, refusing to be distracted from the sight of Sol's body lying alone in the dirt. In the dimming light, her sight sharpened and she took in the line of trees on the far end of the clearing, the stream cutting through the muddy track. The way the road twisted its way through the scattering of rocks and boulders. She must remember this place.
"I will be back for you. I will. Oh Goddess, please watch over him. I didn't mean what I said. Forgive my blasphemy. Please, please answer my prayer."
She pushed against the bars, straining for the last glimpse of the man she loved. On the horizon, to the west, the sun slid slowly into the earth, streaking the sky with blood-red. The sun-god going to his rest. The night belonged to the moons and the Goddess. Tian slumped back onto her heels and held out her palms. She would pray until dawn. Show the Goddess her contrition. Not for herself, for Sol.
"Punish me for my harsh words,” she said. “But not him. Not your loyal Guardian."
He does not wish to return. The shame is too great.
"Goddess?” Tears stung her eyes. “He wishes to pass over? To leave me?"
His spirit weakens. Soon I will welcome him home.
"I won't let him go.” She conjured his image in her mind. Tall and fair, gentle and brave. Remembered the gossamer touch of his hair trailing over her bare skin. His deep husky laugh. “I love him,” she said. “Give me the strength to rescue him."
I gave you that strength at birth, child. Now you must decide how best to use it.
"You will not help me?"
In the east, the first moon edged its way above the tree-line. A still evening, the silence broken only by the rumble of the transport engine and the swish of wheels turning soft mud.
"Goddess?” Tian held out her shaking arms and remembered how hard she'd prayed for her mother's life. And how far the tantrums, the begging, the pleading had got her.
Child, this story has more than one ending.
Images from the Crystal flowed through her mind. A tangle of paths leading to grief, loneliness, love. Some to all three. She already knew which she wanted.
"I'll sacrifice,” she said. “In return for his life. Ask anything of me and it shall be given."
That which you need was given a long time ago. Use it well.
The Goddess's voice faded with the last remnants of the day. Above the tree-line, Tian saw the second moon rising to begin its eternal battle to catch the first. The rivals, her mother had called them. Was she up there riding the night sky in the Goddess's moonlit chariot? Tian dropped her arms and curled into the corner of the cage which rolled relentlessly forward towards an unknown destination. Sol's scent lingered on the night air, fainter now as the transport put distance between them. Soon she would no longer be able to smell him and the trail back to her beloved would grow cold.
He'd given her a handful of sugar-candy for the journey. A sweet gift for a sweet girl. She'd never thought of herself in those terms or eaten much candy before Sol arrived in her life. Sucking on one now comforted her a little. The sugar lifted her spirits. She reached into her pocket for another, this time touching the cool metal of her mother's talisman.
How many years of life had her mother given in order to protect her? Magic required payment that couldn't be measured in coin.
It was given a long time ago. Use it well.
Tian turned the talisman in her hand. It felt warmer, as if some other hand was sending heat and energy to the cold metal. Her mother had always known the price and paid it willingly.
"How many years do you require?” Tian asked, unable to keep the tremble from her voice. “Tell me. I will pay."
The talisman's heart began to beat a slow tattoo against her palm. Heat and energy flowed into her fingers, making them twitch in time with the pulsing warmth.
You will live a human life-span. Not the long years of the Lupine. The words came to her as a thought, clear in her mind. This is the price.
The coiled-up tension left her in a rush. This was the price? “Oh Goddess,” she said. “Why would I want to live beyond Sol's life-span? Yes,” she said, tears pricking at her eyes. “This is a price I will gladly pay."
* * * *
I'll come for you. One day, when you least expect. I'll be there.
Jarek's voice echoed down the years. A curse bestowed upon a frightened child.
He was no longer that child. Sol pushed against the bounds of the poison, spurred on by the blurred vision of the transport taking Tian away from him.
In his fevered dreams, he rose and ran the distance between them, sword in hand, eyes alight with vengeance.
In the lonely dirt, he dragged open his eyelids and stared at the moon-streaked sky.
Tomorrow, he might be nothing more than a meal for the wild beasts roaming the plain. Picked over until only his bones remained. No! If this was his allotted time, he would die a warrior's death; not this shameful fading away, his only witnesses, the carrion-birds who waited and watched from the trees.
While his spirit raged, hope remained.
A fair fight, Goddess. Let me leave this life with my honour intact. After my years of service, could you not at least have granted me some dignity?
He clung to hope as dawn's herald brightened the sky, fighting his solitary battle with death in true Eagle fashion.
His father would be proud of him.
* * * *
"Go,” she whispered to Balan. “Find Sol."
For a few moments the horse continued to canter behind the transport. “Go,” she said, more urgently. “You, too.” Her fingers twisted open the straps tethering the mare to the bars. “Follow Balan. He'll take you to Sol."
Both horses peeled away and off the track. Silently, she begged them not to gallop into Jarek's line of sight. He might already have seen them in the mirrors flanking the driver's cab. She sat back, watching the horses disappear into the scrubby brush lining the road with no idea whether Balan would go seek his master, or just run wild with the mare until a trader or a predator caught them.
A short while later the transport ground to a halt. Jarek hopped down and disappeared behind a tree, whistling all the while. Tian had already suffered the indignity of relieving herself on the floor of the wagon as the dark shape of the mountains grew ever larger.
No matter. Her focus remained on one thing alone. Escape. She had yet to discover how much magic she'd bargained for. When she pointed the disc at the bars and commanded them to bend, nothing happened. Feeling foolish, she turned the disc in her hand, remembering how her mother would slip the talisman between her palms and tell her to make a wish. For years, she hadn't understood what a wish was. What else did she need from life but a mother who loved her and the freedom to be?
"It's a conductor.” Jarek appeared, lacing up his pants. “Channels the magic, from whichever source you're tapping, into you. That she also stole from me."
Tian levelled her gaze with his. “If you were feeling what I am right now, you wouldn't be so casual."
"Oh, I'm terrified.” Jarek flashed her a grin, whi
ch faded when he noticed the lack of horses. “Have you any idea how many years it takes to tame the magic in that thing? Did you think you would point it and poof, the bars would simply melt?
"Have a care, Father. I would prefer not to hurt you."
"You wouldn't even if you could. Did it tell you the real price? Or did it say you would live a normal life-span?"
"None of your business."
"Where are the horses?"
"Oh, I have them here in my coat. Where's the antidote to the poison? Tell me where to find it and I'll be merciful."
Jarek stared at her briefly, then threw back his head and laughed long and loud. “Oh Daughter,” he said, controlling himself at last, “We will make such a team. No matter.” He waved his arm dismissively. “They were only holding us back.” He held out his palm. “Now, hand over the talisman and we'll return for Sol. The antidote to the poison is person-specific. We'll need to take him to one of the better apothecaries, if he's to survive. Get it formulated according to his body make-up. Give me the talisman and I'll take you to one myself. How's that for a bargain?"
"How's this?” she replied. Holding out the talisman, Tian tuned out everything except the need to find Sol. Let the talisman choose how that would be achieved; she was beyond guilt. The metal leapt to life in her hand, heating quickly to an almost unbearable intensity. Her arm shook with the struggle to harness the energy flooding every cell of her body. To stop the wolf bursting through in its panic.
Jarek's only reaction was to cast a wary eye on the light emanating from her locked fist.
"It lied. Use the talisman at full strength and you won't live to enjoy this winter with Sol, let alone a lifetime. Your mother was fifteen summers when she gave birth to you. How long did she live?"
"You know how long.” Tian grabbed at the bars, which now felt spongy under her fingers. “Stop talking and step away."
"And she used simple cloaking magic. What you're attempting there, transformative magic, is very costly. Be sure you want to pay the price."
Sol was out there, dying. Tian hesitated only long enough to form that thought. “Here's my answer.” Her fingers squeezed the bars, trapping the talisman metal to metal. They gave without protest while Jarek watched, mouth open in disbelief. Part human, part wolf, she twisted through the gap and leaped through the air, knocking him to the stony track with the force of her body.
Crouching over him, her wolf eyes took in the stunned expression, the almost imperceptible flicker of his eyes from her face to the talisman. Fired by the magic, she blocked him easily when he lunged for it.
"You think I can't take it from you?” Jarek's voice grated with effort, each word spoken after a desperate breath. He fixed his gaze on the talisman as if he could will it from her hand to his.
Never had she felt such power, or seen with such clarity. Wolf and human in perfect balance, most favoured servant of the Goddess herself. This was what it meant to be the Lupine.
"Take it,” she said opening her palm to reveal the flashing metal disc. “Let's see which one of us is the stronger. Which of us deserves the Goddess's mercy."
"Can't you feel it draining you? Stupid girl. You wish a life measured in moons rather than years? Do this and you condemn us both."
"Take it.” Her voice was calm, measured. One devoid of all doubt. Jarek would not refuse this challenge.
Warily, he extended a shaking hand. His palm touched hers. Between them, the talisman burned and made its choice.
"Oh Goddess. Mercy. Grant me mercy..."
Jarek crumpled. Skin shrinking tight over his bones, lips curling back. The light faded so quickly from his eyes that Tian snatched away her hand and resumed her human shape. This poor broken man was no longer a threat. He was merely ... her father.
And in the blink of an eye ... oh Goddess, had she killed him?
The power drained from her in a rush. Head spinning, she rose and staggered away from the body.
"Tian?” Jarek's lips formed the word with care. A heartbreaking sound from a man beyond hope.
"You gave me no choice.” A bitter victory. One whose burden she would bear for the rest of her life. However long that might be.
Jarek coughed and rolled his head to look at her. His expression struggling to comprehend the speed of events. “Find a stone,” he said. “Quickly. Ask the Goddess for blessing. Do this last thing for me."
"Why should I?” She needed to change. To set free her wolf and run until it dropped from exhaustion. “I can't conjure a Soul Cleanser without the Sacred Fire."
"It's there,” he said nodding at the charged talisman. “All magic lives in the Sacred Fire. It burns without consuming. Daughter, do this for me. Would you condemn your own father to the Pit of Hell?
Yes. The wolf spoke for her. Unrepentant. A calm clear voice in her head.
"No.” Tian fell to her knees beside the man who should have been her anchor in life, not her jailer. One question left to ask. Jarek's immortal soul depended on the answer.
"Will Sol be dead when I find him?"
"Maybe.” Even as eternal torment beckoned, Jarek seemed determined to test her resolve. Or was the Goddess, still playing her games?
"Then you belong in Hell. I won't help you."
Spittle dribbled from the corner of Jarek's mouth. His voice was a thin thread of sound. “You will because you're a better person than I am. Call up the Fire, I don't have long. Or even better, heal me. You have the power, right there in your hand. You could do it—if you wanted to."
Walk away, the wolf urged. Let me find Sol. We need to move quickly.
Tian rose, took two steps. Spun around. Thoughts tumbled through her mind. Hers, Jarek's. Unshed tears blurred her vision. Jarek's aura, full of hope, reached out to hers.
"Don't,” she said frantically brushing at her arms, her face. “The magic is for Sol."
"A Cleansing Stone. All I ask."
Her growl made the cage bars rattle. “You ask too much!"
"You will do it for me.” Jarek struggled to push himself up onto a bent elbow. “Look at me, Daughter. You will do this."
The talisman fell from her fingers. With Jarek's voice echoing in her head, she knelt to scoop it up and instead, found herself holding a smooth flat stone.
"Command the Fire. Hurry. You know what to do. All Lupines are born with that knowledge."
Somewhere, perhaps in another life, she had learned this mystery. A flame, white-hot, flickered in the centre of her palm. Heat, without the burn. Automatically, she passed the stone through the flame, three times.
"Zenar, palatin, dineara.” The words, too, had always been somewhere, in the recesses of her mind. She repeated them, her voice flat and trance-like. Time slowed and stopped. Jarek's heartbeat faltered. He flopped back into the dirt.
Tian placed the stone onto his chest, avoiding his blank stare. One day, when she herself went to meet the Goddess, she would find out whether she'd saved him. Now, her only concern was for Sol. A few moons or a human life-span? Whatever time she had left, she wanted to spend with him. And for that, she must find him and heal him. No small task when she felt drained to the core.
No time for rest, the wolf said. Take only what you need. We travel light. No, don't look at him. You were more than generous to so dark a soul.
"Is he dead?"
Soon, the wolf replied. Tian, focus. Sol needs us. He's calling, can't you hear?
She listened and heard only the sound of her own weary breath and the wind whispering its secrets to the rippling grass.
* * * *
Sol dreamed of fire. Of flames bathing him in cleansing, healing light. When he awoke to the star-pricked sky the pounding in his head had died to a dull background ache. If only he had the energy to move. To find Tian.
High above him, a shower of shooting stars streaked with tails blazing, towards the earth.
Catch one, his mother would say, and ask for your heart's desire.
While his heart still beat, he want
ed only one thing. To be with Tian. And revenge against the man who had stolen his honour.
He managed a dry laugh. Okay, two things. Hell, hadn't he given his life to the service of the Goddess? Watched over her precious Lupines for endless years, waiting for a chance to prove himself? Didn't she owe him?
Defiantly, he picked out the brightest star. Time to call in his debts and see what his service and dedication was worth to the most fickle of the deities who ruled the higher plane. The Gods had fought for allegiance such as his, but he had been steadfast and loyal to his vow to serve only the Goddess.
Yes, he thought, watching the star flare and die as it hurtled into the earth. A little payback from her was long overdue.
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Chapter 15
"Have I done enough? Tell me, Goddess. Have I done enough?"
There is more, child. There is always more.
Tian threw off her coat and twisted open the buttons of her shirt. Her clothes fell into a heap onto the few belongings she would not leave behind. Sol's necklace and ring. His mother's Crystal. The stash of credits she'd found in Jarek's bill-fold and various parts of the transport. The knot of hair hacked from Sol's head. And Cora. The harp had started a plaintive singing the moment it realised she was leaving.
Naked, Tian stooped to make up the bundle, using the sleeves of her coat as a carrying loop. She added Jareks's hand-held blast gun and threaded Sol's short sword it its leather scabbard, through the knot. Travelling as wolf would get her back to Sol all the quicker. The lighter the load, the better.
"More? How much more would you ask of me?” She tested the weight and then slung the bundle over her back. “I gave you my mother, then Sol. My chance of a life. I gave ... him absolution. Against my better judgement,” she added. “Forgive me, Goddess, I have a man to rescue. A man I love."
This is one battle you cannot fight with him, Tian.
"I saved him before, I will save him now. Sol will not die for the sake of his pride. I need to change, I'm getting cold."
Impetuous child.
The words were gently-spoken with real affection that gave Tian pause.
