by C. M. King
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked softly. By the cautious way he was looking at me, he knew his words had triggered something deep inside.
“Yeah.” I lied, looking away from his prying eyes, as tears filled my own.
“Iz, I’m sorry. I only meant it as a joke.” He let out an exasperated sigh, not knowing what to say next. But nothing would appease me right at this moment. I knew it was a joke, a poor one at that, but the irrational part of my brain was in overdrive, taking me to places I didn’t want to go.
The day had taken a sour turn, and just when I thought my mood wasn’t capable of sinking any lower, I found a whole new level.
A voice called out in the distance. We both looked up, our eyes locking on the sexy blonde heading our way.
Wow just great!
My mood was now slam dunked on the floor. My heart dropped when she approached Joel smiling. That over familiar look in her eyes, telling me she had gone way beyond the ‘friends’ role. My eyes narrowed, taking in the outfit she was barely wearing. A pair of sexy jean shorts that left nothing to the imagination, skimming her bum cheeks. Her top was knotted for maximum exposure, revealing a pierced navel. The top was so low cut her full ample breasts were almost spilling out. Her long blonde highlighted hair danced around, as she strutted in her heels. She was hot and boy did she know it.
Bitch. I hated her already.
When she came to a standstill I grimaced, she was even hotter up front. A wave of insecurity swept through me. I felt drab in comparison, like an old bag lady. I cursed myself for not making more of an effort with my own appearance. There was nothing sexy about my outfit, I’d just thrown on what was available. Most of my clothes were still sitting in the wash bin at home. I was down to the bare minimum, and now I was pissed at myself for not doing those extra loads.
My fingers raked through my hair, to make my just dragged up hair, into more of a presentable bun. I frowned behind my sunglasses as it was useless, but as her attention was solely on Joel, it was pretty futile anyway. I watched on as her greedy eyes took him all in, the megawatt grin on her face growing by the minute.
“Hey Joel, long time no see baby, where have you been hiding?”
My eyes bugged out in anger at her words.
Baby? You have got to be fucking kidding me?
My fists curled up in rage. Within moments she was about to feel my right hook smashed into her overly made up face.
Joel flinched at the pet name. “Hey Caroline, how are you doing?”
Her smile grew wider and she licked her lips, as her eyes remained locked on his.
I was still invisible, apparently.
I was surprised she couldn’t feel the heat coming from my body, my blood was practically at boiling point.
“I’m all the better for seeing you, how come you haven’t been in touch? I could do with another re-enactment of the last time we hooked up.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively and her fingers twirled her hair, as she ran her tongue teasingly along her overly glossed lips.
I had now gone past boiling point, to total meltdown. I should really have a warning sign above my head that I was about to blow. I wasn’t about to stand back and take her brazen attitude a moment longer.
I stood up abruptly and her lustful gaze left Joel’s face, to look at mine. Her eyes widened at my look of anger, when I yanked off my sunglasses to reveal the intense rage burning deep inside. “Sorry don’t mind me, I’m just the fucking girlfriend, you carry on eye fucking and propositioning my boyfriend,” I screamed, storming off.
“Iz wait,” he called after me, but I was too riled and beyond livid to stop. I heard Joel’s footsteps behind me, catching me up, as he yanked my arm to stop.
I turned and he saw my look of anger, filling every pore. He pulled me to him, to comfort me but I didn’t want his sympathy.
“No Joel, don’t touch me.” I snatched my arm away and a look of fear crossed his face, but I was too annoyed to care. His past was destined to haunt us forever. I highly doubted there wasn’t a woman he hadn’t shagged within the two-mile radius. It felt like everyone had had a part of him, and right now I just couldn’t handle it.
“I’m sorry Iz, I can’t help my past, you said you were okay with it, that you could get over it to be with me.” His eyes held mine, pleading with me to understand.
But I couldn’t get past it.
“Yeah I did say that, but when a girl is standing there dressed like a prostitute, eye fucking and practically about to hump my boyfriend, excuse me for not just sitting there politely and taking it,” I screamed.
I needed to get away.
I needed to escape to somewhere familiar, to be alone with my thoughts.
“Iz please.” He attempted to hug me again but I pushed him back.
“Get off me Joel, I’m going home.” I took off striding down the road, with Joel jogging along trying to catch up.
“Yeah that’s probably a good idea, it’s getting late we can get some food for tonight, what do you fancy?”
My anger levels shifted up another gear, at his pretence everything was okay. How dare he even act like this was nothing? Like my feelings hadn’t well and truly been crushed, barely moments before. Right now I knew where he could stick his food.
“No, I meant I’m going home to my house.” I carried on walking fast avoiding his eyes.
He deliberately walked in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, so I almost crashed into him. His hands grabbed my arms and his eyes looked deep into mine. “What do you mean your house?”
I tried pulling myself out of his firm grip, but he held on tight. “I just want to be alone Joel, can you give me some space.”
A look of frustration crossed his face. “No Iz, you’re just going to go home and blow all of this out of proportion and make it something it isn’t. I had sex with Caroline but I was shit faced, I don’t remember it and that’s all it was, a quick shag nothing special.” His eyes pleaded with me to stay, but my mind was already made up.
“Well she didn’t seem to think so, what with her wanting another re-enactment, sounds like you rocked her world last time and she wants another go,” I hissed at him, seething at the way he was trying to play it down.
He closed his eyes, letting out a loud sigh. “Izzy, the only person I want is you, when will you accept that? I am yours and yours alone. These girls meant nothing to me. I want you, our future together. I want to grow old with you, to share memories with you. My whole world totally revolves around you. It’s only you Izzy, it will only ever be you. ”
His sweet words caught me off guard, but they didn’t extinguish the flames of anger raging inside.
“Joel, I need to be alone, can you just give me that please.” I wrenched my arm out of his grip, the pain on his face was evident when I walked away.
The tears streamed with each step I took. I was grateful for the twenty minutes walk home but they still flowed regardless.
I was relieved to find an empty house when I opened the front door. I knew I was not physically strong enough to face my Mother. I threw myself down hard on the bed, as all my insecurities began to pour out.
The truth of the matter was I said I was okay with Joel’s past, but I wasn’t. I hated the constant reminders that always came with being with Joel. The looks they exchanged and the smiles of acknowledgment. I saw it there in each girl’s eyes, that they’d had their moment with him. Most of the time their look of lust told me they still wanted even more.
Was I strong enough to face it? Knowing Joel has shared a part of himself with so many others.
Brushing another tear away, the flash of gold caught my eye. I held out my hand staring down at the ring. I twirled it around with my finger, thinking back to yesterday. How special he’d made my birthday, all the good times together we’d shared. He never held back with his emotions and I loved him even more for it.
I walked to the bathroom, splashing my face with cold water. I looked in the mirror and sighed at the
reflection staring back. I looked like something out of a horror movie. But regardless of my own personal insecurities, I knew Joel would be hurting even more. The first sign of trouble and I’d left. We’d made a commitment to be together and I had thrown all that out the window, the moment I had my tantrum. I let my demons win again and I despised myself for being so weak, to let something so stupid come between us.
I grabbed my phone and hit the call button, preying he would answer. Joel picked up on the second ring.
“Iz, are you okay?” His voice sounded strained, he was most likely nervous at what I was about to say. I was nervous myself.
I took a few unsteady breaths. “Joel, I want to come home.” I paused, as my heart beat fast and I closed my eyes, waiting for an answer.
He let out a loud sigh and his voice instantly brightened. “Baby, I want that too, I’m on my way,”
I felt a surge of relief flow through me, that he was so easy in forgiving my inexcusable behaviour. “Joel, I’m sorry…”
“Hey, don’t apologise.” His voice was soft and soothing. “I’m just sorry that it’s my past always coming back to haunt us. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Do you want me to pick up the usual?”
A smile touched my lips. “God you know me so well, am I really that predictable?”
“I like that I know you, I want to know every single tiny detail.”
My smile grew even wider. “It could get pretty boring.”
“Never,” he whispered teasingly.
“Oh and Joel…”
“Yes baby?”
“Don’t forget the prawn crackers.”
I heard a soft chuckle down the phone. “Baby I am on it, I’ll be with you soon. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I hung up, flopping down on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. Just hearing Joel’s voice made me feel instantly better.
I jumped up remembering my present state, quickly changing, before applying some makeup. I didn’t want Joel to know I’d been crying, he would only blame himself and I had enough guilt to deal with at the moment.
I heard the car pull up as I locked up the house. Joel’s smile was wide, meeting me halfway up the driveway. He grabbed me, pulling me into a welcoming hug.
“Thank you Iz,” he whispered. His lips locked onto mine, as my arms curled around his neck, drawing him in tighter.
“For what?” I asked, looking into his sapphire blue eyes.
“For calling me, I was sat feeling so miserable. It isn’t a home without you there.” His eyes flashed with the pain of my abandonment. The crushing weight of guilt took over, wishing I had handled the situation better.
“Joel, I’m sorry, you tell me all the time how you feel, and yet I flip out the moment an ex turns up.” I pushed my face into his neck, unable to look at him out of embarrassment.
His arms wrapped around me tighter. “She wasn’t an ex Iz, you’re my only girlfriend I’ve told you that, she was a distraction when I was drunk and lonely, you are my world.”
I almost swooned at his words.
I was his world.
Oh my.
I drew him in tighter and kissed his neck, breathing in his unique scent. “I know I just freaked out, take me home, I just want to be with you.” I moved away from him and a look of delight crossed his face at my words. He smiled, slipping his arm round my shoulder, as we walked towards the car.
“Have you got the Chinese?” I asked looking hopeful, my stomach rumbled at the mention of food.
He grinned. “Of course growler, let’s get home and enjoy it.”
I frowned at his choice of nickname. “Are you always going to call me that?”
He grinned again at the look of annoyance on my face. “Yeah I think so, it’s sweet.”
“It’s annoying.”
He grabbed me and pulled me in for a long, hard kiss, taking my breath away. “I love you Iz, just you, please remember that.”
“And I love you too Joel, always, but right now I may love Chinese food even more.”
Joel shot me a wink, shaking his head in amusement at my words.
Things were definitely back to normal.
Chapter 25 – Birthday Surprise
I smiled the moment my alarm began beeping, reminding me it was the start of a very important day. I kissed Joel’s chest, pushing myself away from his warm, tight embrace, to switch off the phone. It was midnight and officially Joel’s birthday.
“Happy birthday Joel,” I said smiling, reaching up to stroke his face, placing a soft kiss on his lips.
He smiled back sighing in contentment. “Thanks Iz, it’s already the best birthday having you here.” His smile grew even wider when I kissed him once again. This time I took it further, feeling his need for more. His face soon dropped in disappointment the moment I moved away.
I chuckled, running my finger along his frown line. “Time for your first present of the day.” I sat up, whipping off my top, much to Joel’s delight and tossed it down onto the floor.
He grabbed me, pulling me down flat against the mattress, his hand quickly dispensed of my pyjama bottoms. Joel’s eyes hungrily took in the sight of my naked body, drawing him towards me. His mouth quickly captured mine, as our bodies wrapped around each other.
“This is all I need, you, me, forever.” He brushed his nose lightly against mine, staring deep into my eyes.
I knew I would always feel the same. He had become my world so quickly and living with him had only strengthened my love for him further, my heart would only ever beat for him alone.
“Sounds like a plan,” I replied grinning, my fingers curled around his hair, holding him in place so I could kiss him.
“A very good plan.” He grinned, leaning in slipping his tongue inside. I groaned when mine willingly welcomed his into my mouth, the light flick of his tongue sent shivers down my spine.
I pulled away from him slightly. “Does it involve never leaving this bed?”
I never wanted to leave this bed ever.
Despite the fact hygiene and cooking would be a problem, as long as I was clamped next to his naked body, I would always be one happy girl.
“It can involve anything we want.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, as a small smile tugged on my lips.
I sucked in my bottom lip, chewing on it, deep in thought. “Ooh so could I incorporate maltesers into this plan?”
He threw his head back laughing. He knew those honeycomb chocolate balls of deliciousness were my one weakness. “Depends are you willing to share?” He narrowed his eyes and his lips twitched, waiting for a reply.
“Hmmm, can I think about it?” I asked. I didn’t just share my maltesers willingly with anyone, but for Joel I suppose I could make the exception.
His eyes widened in surprise at my lack of generosity. “Oh right that’s it now…you greedy girl.”
I squealed when his fingers grabbed my ribs. My legs and arms thrashed around on the bed, as he carried on his relentless torture. I hated how he resorted to this form of torment to punish me for my teasing, but his look of delight told me he was enjoying every single moment.
I panted hard, to draw breath back through my lungs. “Okay…okay, you win, I will even feed them to you myself.”
He pulled away smiling and I breathed a sigh of relief, when his fingers slipped away from my side. “I like the sound of you being my slave.”
I liked the sound of it myself.
I would gladly be at his beck and call for all things bedroom related, but I needed to make some conditions of my own, before I verbally agreed to anything.
“Only on one condition.” I watched him bite back the grin, about to spread across his face.
“Which is?” he asked raising an eyebrow.
My eyes flicked up and down the length of him. “As long as you let me have free rein of this gorgeous body.” I rolled him over onto his back, dropping down to press my lips against his abs. I ran my tongue teasingly along the grooves of each muscle. His bo
dy shivered underneath me, enjoying every moment of my teasing.
“Ahh, so you’re only with me for my body?” he asked. I smiled, hearing the amusement in his voice. He was enjoying every single moment of my teasing.
I looked up and rested my chin on his firm stomach, as my eyes locked with his. “Of course,” I said with the most deadpan expression I could muster. My hand slid along his glorious torso, my fingers trailing along every perfect muscle.
“So what happens if I develop a pot belly, you know after eating all these maltesers?”
I instantly hitched myself up onto my elbows. “Well I’d have to leave you.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Oh yeah…just like that?”
I teased him further and slowly crawled up his body, kissing every inch of hard muscle, only stopping when his face was barely inches away from mine.
“Well yeah. You see I prefer my men hard.”
He lightly gasped when my hand slowly glided down his warm, firm body. My fingers reached inside his shorts, instantly wrapping around his ever-present erection. He blew out a soft whistle between his teeth in surprise. I waited a few moments for him to settle, before my hand began working his length. He let out a few mumbled expletives, as his eyes rolled back, his head pushing deeper into the pillow. I eased up my hand, almost to a standstill. He popped open an eye with curiosity, catching me smile with great delight, at the power I wielded over him.
“I see…so you’re basically saying I need to be hard at all times, anything else do I have to do to fulfil your requirements?” he asked, raising his eyebrows questioningly.
I bit my lip, pacing myself to make my next move. “Well I do like a man who has balls.” I smile wickedly when I grabbed his tight, the air left his lungs as he arched his back into the mattress.
“Fuuuuuck.”
I laughed at the look on his face.
Oh yeah I was in control.
I brushed my lips against his ear. “Are you ready for your birthday surprise.” I watched as his eyes filled with lust, feeling him twitch in my hand.
