by Afton Locke
Minutes later, they sat at the empty table, huddled around Sadie as she penned a letter to Rose.
“Dear Rose, we would be honored for you join to our family,” she recited. “How does that sound? Should I add more?”
Leroy waved his hands. “No, no. That’s fine. Now you and Mama sign it.”
One obstacle out of the way, he thought as he seized the letter in triumph. The next one was Charles Wainwright III. Somehow, he had to get the blessing of the man who’d once held a shotgun to his head.
* * * * *
One night the following week, Rose writhed on a bed of burlap, giving her virginal body to Leroy. Her hands charted his muscular, chocolate flesh one inch at a time while his warm and spicy scent intoxicated her. Her legs opened and quivered, inviting his sturdy cock to push inside and claim her innocence.
Her back arched when her fingers glided over his primitive cheekbones and found the pulse beating at his throat, damp and alive. The rough burlap splintered the delicate skin of her fingertips. Not burlap…rope. She traced the band encircling his neck, felt it tighten as the walls of her cunt tightened around his thrusting penis.
She inserted her finger under the circle to stop it, but it pulled tauter, cutting off the circulation to her fingertip. Slipping two fingers beneath it, she tugged, but to no avail. It slid from her grip as it tightened more. Leroy’s hoarse breaths of passion grew labored and shallow. His cock slid out of her core, leaving it cold and quivering with need. Then his body slipped out of her arms and her hands dropped to her sides.
When she looked up to see where he went, she saw a canopy of oak leaves. Leroy had a rope around his neck. The other end was tied to the oak tree they used to sit in…
“LEROY!!!”
The sound of her scream shattered inside her ears. She woke in a tangle of sheets on her pallet, her heart about to jump out of her chest. Nerves in her hands buzzed with terror while she batted at the tears spilling down her cheeks.
Mary’s nightmares were mere hiccups compared to this…
In the dim light, Thelma sat up in her bed across the room. “Another nightmare, Rose?”
Rose wiped the sweat from her brow. “I’m afraid so. I-I’m sorry.”
Cali groaned and turned over in her bed. “Rose, we’re never going to get any sleep until you go back to that man.”
“I’ll sit outside for a while,” Rose offered.
Putting on her bathrobe, she walked onto the fire escape. She’d ended up out here nearly every day since she’d been here. Unlike the cramped apartment stacked with laundry, it was the only place she could think.
She sat on the hard metal steps, drawing her knees to her chest and hugging them. Had she made a mistake by coming here? One thing was clear. She couldn’t forget about Leroy Johnson if she tried. He was in her blood forever. There would never be another man for her, black or white.
That still didn’t answer the question of what she should do with him.
Confusion still taunted her every day, refusing to be conquered. She finally had all the freedom she could possibly want. As long as she told the other women where she was going, in case she went missing, they let her go wherever she pleased. Even her work hours were flexible. But every bone in her body ached with missing Leroy. Every day, the image of them dancing on the pier at Pearl Point drifted through her mind. Each time, it grew a little dimmer. Eventually, it would be completely lost to her.
As much as she’d gone back and forth on him, she deserved to lose him. He’d been more than patient. While she changed her mind, he’d always wanted her. He’d given up his job for her and he’d almost paid for their love with his life. The man deserved a woman who wanted him wholeheartedly.
She looked skyward, her eyes wet with unshed tears. Lord, give him the wife he deserves, even if it isn’t me.
Maybe she should catch the next steamboat. While she helped Cali and Thelma with the work, she also took up precious space and deprived them of sleep. But she didn’t want to leave until she was sure what she wanted to do.
And why wasn’t she sure by now? Would she ever be? Maybe no one was truly sure about marriage. If only she could put her hands around this thing standing between her and her man.
Their families still concerned her. She decided she could live without her father’s approval. He’d already come a long way by admitting he was wrong about trying to make her appear white. In time, he’d grow to accept and respect Leroy. Even if he didn’t, she would do everything she could to keep her family in her life.
Wilma and Sadie were another story. They may never like her, but maybe they would tolerate her over time. As long as Leroy stayed close to them, it might work.
Leroy was right. Family wasn’t the only thing bothering her.
She picked at a flake of peeling paint. Various electric lights winked around the city in the stagnant summer air. Somewhere below, a lone cricket chirped. Where were the fairies? She needed something to save her from this endless confusion.
Sitting on this fire escape reminded her of being confined to the steps of her parents’ townhouse growing up. Her old neighborhood wasn’t far, but she hadn’t wanted to revisit unhappy memories.
Hope flickered inside her chest as the clearest thought she’d had in weeks flashed through her mind. The answer to her confusion was there. She had to go back.
Chapter Twenty
After running an errand for Caleb on Oyster Island a few days later, Leroy drove the car back toward Pearl Point. Relentless rain hammered the windshield, overwhelming the wipers. It reminded him of another rainy day on this road, the day he’d met Rose.
The memory of their first kiss heated the inside of his trousers despite the cool dampness around him. As he crossed into St. Mary’s County, he even saw a car in the ditch. It looked the same too. Had he gone back in time or was he dreaming this?
Pulling behind the car, he got out and hoped to see Rose’s face when he walked to the driver’s side. Instead, Charles Wainwright scowled through the rain-peppered glass. He opened the window a crack.
“Do you need a ride, sir?” Leroy offered.
The man sniffed as if he’d gotten a whiff of old cheese. “No, thank you. I’ll wait for the next person to stop.”
Leroy propped a hand above the window, ignoring the rain soaking through his clothes. “What if nobody else stops? I have a matter to discuss with you anyway.”
“If it’s about Rose, the answer is no.”
He could have guessed that much. If the man had given his approval, Rose wouldn’t be in Baltimore.
“Suit yourself.” Leroy shrugged and walked back to his car.
He’d only sat there for a couple of minutes when the slight figure ran through the rain and got into the passenger seat of Caleb’s car.
“Take me home, please,” the man said, shaking water off his hat onto the floor. “I believe you know where it is.”
Leroy turned the wheel back onto the road. “Indeed I do. It’s hard to forget where I almost got my head shot off.”
Mr. Wainwright’s chin lowered as he pursed his lips. “That didn’t stop you from deflowering her, did it?”
“I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t intend to marry her,” Leroy shot back.
“I only want what’s best for my daughter,” Charles said. “If you had one, you’d understand.”
“And what makes you think I’m not best for her?” Leroy asked, dodging a deep puddle in the road.
Mr. Wainwright sighed. “Must we discuss this in such foul weather?”
“Then we’ll do it inside your house, but we will discuss it.”
The older man glared at him. “You’re stubborn, Leroy Johnson.”
Leroy grinned as he turned into Wainwright’s driveway. “So I’ve been told.”
As soon as he stopped in front of the house and killed the engine, Mr. Wainwright gripped his arm. “Do you think I’ve had an easy life? I started out digging ditches.”
Leroy’s eyebrow
s shot up. Apparently, they were going to have their discussion right here.
“I’ve done my time with being called boy and not having a dime to feed my belly with.”
“I understand.” It was hard to imagine the man being humbled in such a way, though. “How did you get where you are now?”
“Hard work, education and determination.” Charles gazed out the window while the rain beat a monotonous tune on the roof. “I admit it was wrong of me to try to make Rose white.”
“I damn near got killed over it and I was afraid for her too.” Leroy sighed and held out his hands. “So what’s the problem now? I’m not the right shade of black for you?”
When Mr. Wainwright looked back at him, his face reflected more reality of the way things were than disapproval.
“Unfortunately, your dark shade will get you disrespected, downtrodden and impoverished.” Charles tugged on his shirtsleeve, exposing a light brown wrist, which he held next to Leroy’s. “Even though I’m obviously colored, people will treat me better because I’m lighter than you.”
Leroy dropped his arm. “I’m not arguing that.”
The other man folded his arms. “Any wife you have, no matter what color she is, will suffer right along with you.”
“It’s not that way in Pearl Point.” Leroy slapped the steering wheel. “I’m paid well and treated with respect. Caleb even promised to give me his car and some land to build a home on.”
Mr. Wainwright’s brow rose. “Indeed? Caleb Rockfield is a most unusual white man.”
“He sure is,” Leroy agreed, still thankful to get his old job back.
“And what if that ideal world Mr. Rockfield built disappears? What if something happens to him? What then?”
Then it would be back to the old oyster plant working for Henry Rockfield beside his mother and sister. Life would be tougher but not impossible.
“Rose and I would find a way.” Leroy’s palms sweated on the steering wheel as he struggled to find the courage he needed to make his request. “Mr. Wainwright, I’m glad I ran into you today because I was meaning to talk to you anyhow.”
The man cast him a wary glance. “About?”
Removing his cap, Leroy gripped it in his lap. “I want to marry Rose, but she won’t accept without your approval. I-I’m asking for your blessing.”
“No.”
Leroy clenched his fist and pressed it into the seat beside his leg. He hadn’t expected this to be easy, but why did the man have to be so infuriating?
“Would you rather she live the rest of her life in Baltimore, washing and mending white people’s dirty clothes?”
Mr. Wainwright’s olive skin mottled with a flush of red. “Of course not. I’m horrified she did such a thing, especially when she has a home here.”
Leroy turned to face the other man more. “She claimed she had to get away from both of us so she could make up her own mind. Do you know she accused us of being alike?”
A surprisingly loud, hoarse laugh erupted from Charles. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Isn’t it, though?” Leroy agreed.
The other man flushed again. “I hadn’t thought of it before, but perhaps she’s right. We’re both strong minded.”
“So how about that blessing?” Leroy prompted.
Charles snorted. “It sounds as though you’re still trying to make up her mind for her.”
“No, I already got a blessing from my family. I’m going to present it to her and let her make up her own mind. That’s what she’s wanted all along, you know.”
Mr. Wainwright raised his hands in defeat and let them fall to his lap. “Fine. You have my blessing. I’d rather have her close by in Pearl Point than that city hovel where she could get attacked like poor Mary Carter.”
Leroy grinned and took a deep breath of victory. “Thank you. Now I want it in writing.”
The other man grumbled as he put his wet hat back on. “Very well. Come inside and get dry.”
When Leroy opened the car door, he noticed the rain had slacked off during their conversation. A ray of sunlight even peeked through a cloud. Rose was going to be his wife yet. He just knew it.
* * * * *
Later that week, Rose decided to walk to her old neighborhood.
“I won’t go if there’s too much work,” she told the two other women.
Thelma laughed and fluttered a hand as she plopped a worn shirt on her worktable. “Child, there’s always going to be too much work. You run along now.”
After Rose walked one block after another, she ended up at the townhouse where she used to live. It had a view of the water and the potted geraniums still fluttered in the breeze. Nothing had changed…except her.
She sat on the stoop of her old brick home, hoping the new owners wouldn’t mind. As she hugged her knees, the familiar mantle of isolation slipped around her shoulders. She looked down at her pale wrists. They were exposed to the sun but she no longer cared. For the first time in her life, it didn’t matter what color she was. Every color she’d ever painted lived inside her.
This unique skin had led her on a challenging journey. Her eyes squeezed shut with guilt as she remembered what happened to Mary. It only intensified when she recalled her nightmare of the rope around Leroy’s neck. Both of them had forgiven her. It was time to forgive herself as well. She kept her eyes closed as she did just that.
Opening her eyes again, she realized the mysterious barrier still lay lodged in her heart. What was it? She looked around, searching for the answers that refused to come. A gull flew overhead, laughing at her with its cry.
Then a moving ball caught her attention. A group of colored children had begun playing nearby. As she watched them and listened to their laughter, she was a child again herself. Her leg muscles ached to run out to them and join their play. Her lungs burst with the urge to laugh and yell.
When she gazed down at her dress, worn from days of doing laundry, she saw instead a crisply ironed white pinafore she wasn’t allowed to muss up. With frightened eyes, she looked back at the front door and the windows.
Father watched her every move. She was not allowed to leave these steps. Or to run or laugh or… If she did, she’d be confined inside, and staring out the window was even worse than sitting on these steps.
“Damn you!” she yelled.
She stumbled off the steps and stood, beating her fists against them. Damn you for making me a prisoner. I want to be free. I have to be free!
When she glanced at her hands, she realized the concrete steps had scraped them raw. They bled and she wiped them on her dress, making it as dirty as possible. Next, she sank to a sitting position on the sidewalk, crying as she’d never cried in her life.
She didn’t hate Father. He truly thought he’d been giving her the best life. She didn’t hate Mother either. The woman hadn’t had the strength to stand up to him.
More importantly, she was a grown woman now and free. Marrying would not take away her freedom. She would be a wife, not a child, and if a husband tried to treat her like one, she wouldn’t stand for it. Besides, she had a feeling if Leroy married her and stopped worrying about losing her, he’d be a gentle, easygoing man.
In the midst of her tears, she smiled and the sobs turned to laughter. The children disappeared. Her tantrum must have frightened them away and an old man walked by, giving her a strange look.
“Are you all right, miss? Looks like you cut yourself.”
“Never better,” she exclaimed.
On shaky legs, she stood, realizing she didn’t need fairies and she didn’t need everybody’s approval anymore. The events this summer had shown her she was strong enough without them. Joy rocked her heart as the last obstacle between her and life with Leroy melted away.
Was he waiting for her or had he moved on? Thank goodness he’d given her this time apart to explore her own mind, but if she lost him over it, it would be in vain.
When the strength returned to her leg
s, she rushed back to the apartment with determined purpose. A letter from Leroy waited for her on her portion of the worktable.
Dearest Rose,
I miss you, sweet girl, more than any man can possibly miss a woman. So many times I wanted to come after you, but stopped myself. I know you need this time alone to look into your heart. (Besides, Caleb would whip my behind if I left him again.) By the way, he’s giving me some land. We could have us a real nice house someday.
I’ve been busy visiting our families and getting their blessings for our marriage. Their notes are enclosed. The decision is still yours.
Pearl has organized a picnic for this Saturday. Pearl Point is still a mess, so it will be held at your parents’ home. My family will also attend. Please, please come. Bring your new friends if you like.
Love always,
Leroy
The enclosed letters fell into her hands. One was from her father, the other from Wilma and Sadie. The women welcomed her into their family. She could hardly believe it. And how could she forget Pearl? She was Leroy’s family too and had always been gracious to her. It appeared she was trying her best to play matchmaker.
Tears dripped from Rose’s eyes onto the papers, making blurry spots on the dried ink. She looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“You all right, honey?” Thelma asked.
“It’s not bad news, is it?” Cali asked as she darned a sleeve across the room.
“Not at all,” Rose replied. “How would you ladies like to go to a picnic?”
* * * * *
When Rose got off the steamboat that Saturday in Oyster Island, it reminded her of the day the Klan had waited onshore for Leroy. How could she have left him, even for a minute? What if she arrived to find him swinging from that tree after all?
As she disembarked, Caleb and Pearl came to meet her. Cali and Thelma had stayed in Baltimore, not wanting to leave their work. She couldn’t help noticing the way Pearl cradled a protective hand over the slight swell of her belly and the way Caleb’s watchful gaze never left her. She hoped their biracial child, like her, would find love and acceptance no matter how hard the journey.
