by Leann Harris
Eventually Sarah had begun to smile again. But tonight was the first time since Rhea walked out that he’d heard his daughter giggle like the little girl she was. What worried him now was what would happen to Sarah once Alex’s car was repaired and she returned to Houston. How long would it take for Sarah to laugh this time, or would she ever laugh again? And could he take that risk?
Yet, if he was honest with himself he would have to admit it brought a warm feeling to his heart to walk through the door of his home and hear the feminine laughter and know Alex and Sarah were in the kitchen cooking dinner. If he closed his eyes and used just a little imagination, he could envision them as a family.
The startling thought sobered him. There were two chances of his marrying again—slim and none. He had no intention of ever repeating that deed, and especially not with a woman who preferred city life to his world of west Texas.
“Dad, Alex and I are going to have a bowl of ice cream. You want some?”
Derek looked up from the paper. “Sure, why not?” As he set aside the paper, he realized that he hadn’t read a word.
Sarah pulled out the half gallon of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream and set it on the counter. Then she set bowls, spoons and chocolate sauce beside the carton. With a flourish she handed Derek the ice-cream scoop.
Derek couldn’t keep from smiling. This little ritual had developed when Sarah was small. Whenever he was home, they would have ice cream together. She would get out the bowls and he would scoop.
“Dad’s the best ice-cream scooper in the county. Probably in all of Texas,” Sarah explained.
Derek pulled the gold cardboard lid from the container. Alex crossed her arms under her breasts and leaned back against the cabinets. “If he’s that good, I want to see him in action.”
Derek froze, the scoop buried in the vanilla treat. Her words brought a whole host of visions into his head. It didn’t help matters that Alex’s voice had a silky mellowness that would make any healthy, red-blooded male have caveman thoughts.
She must’ve noticed his reaction because she stiffened, dropped her arms and moved away from the cabinets.
“C’mon, Dad, show Alex how good you are.”
Derek’s eyes widened and he looked at Alex. Pink tinged her cheeks. When she met his gaze, that deep spark of awareness flared between them. Alex broke the contact first.
“Dad,” Sarah complained.
“Okay, okay.”
After dishing out the ice cream, the three sat at the table. Alex took the brown bottle of syrup and drowned her ice cream in chocolate.
Sarah’s jaw fell open as she watched Alex’s actions. Derek was as amazed as his daughter but simply shrugged his shoulders. A giggle escaped Sarah’s mouth.
The sound caused Alex to look up. She followed the direction of their gazes. Alex set the bottle down. “I like a lot of chocolate sauce on my ice cream,” she offered lamely.
“A lot?” Derek echoed, his voice filled with disbelief.
Alex’s lips twitched as if she was trying to swallow her smile. “I’m not the bad one in the family. You should see my sister J.D. She really has a chocolate fetish. Me, I only have a mild case of it.”
Derek rolled his eyes. “If yours is mild, I wouldn’t want to see your sister’s.”
Sarah burst out laughing. Alex and Derek joined her. The joyous sound pierced Derek’s soul and he realized how right it felt with Alex here and how tempting it was to wish that she’d stay permanently.
Damn, what was wrong with him? Hadn’t he been kicked in the head by one female? Did he need to have it happen again to learn his lesson?
But Alex wasn’t like Rhea. He couldn’t imagine Alex cheating on her husband and deserting her child. No, he’d give the lady doctor credit for having a sense of honor, and he was sure she’d keep her promise to cleave only to her husband.
Unfortunately, in one way Alex was just like his ex-wife. They both disliked this part of Texas. He and Rhea had gone through all twelve grades of school together, but it was only after he’d finished basic training and come back to Saddle that they had seen each other in a different light, fallen in love and married.
It didn’t take long for Derek to discover it wasn’t him that Rhea loved, but the idea of getting out of Brewster County. He couldn’t exactly blame her, because that same desire had prompted him to join the marines.
He’d accomplished his task and had seen more of the world than he wanted. Eventually he’d grown tired of moving every few months. When Rhea got pregnant, he knew he needed to provide a permanent home, and had joined the San Antonio police force.
In spite of enjoying the police work, Derek never felt satisfied, as if there was some part of his soul missing. When the job of deputy sheriff came up in Saddle, Derek jumped at the chance. The first day on the job in Saddle, Derek knew he’d found what he had been looking for all those years he’d spent wandering around the globe. He felt like Dorothy of Wizard of Oz fame, learning that there was no place like home.
Of course, he was sure that Alex had no desire to spend the rest of her life in this part of Texas, and he was through chasing rainbows.
Whoa, boy, he cautioned himself. You’re way out of line here. You’re putting the cart before the horse. And in this case there isn’t even a horse!
A moan of delight rose in Alex’s throat, drawing Derek’s attention from his outlandish thoughts. Her eyes were closed and the look of rapture on her beautiful face affected him like a shot of Kentucky bourbon, going straight to his head and other regions of his body.
“Oh, that’s so-o-o good.” Alex sighed. “It’s been forever since I had chocolate sauce on vanilla ice cream.” She scooped up another spoonful and placed it in her mouth.
Derek couldn’t tear his gaze from her face. Her lips couldn’t possibly taste as good as they looked, but he wanted to find out.
That’s just plain stupid, Derek told himself. He was buying trouble even thinking about kissing the woman. Only problem was, his body wasn’t listening to his argument.
Sarah put her spoon down. A frown gathered on her forehead. “Why haven’t you had ice cream? Don’t they have Blue Bell in Houston?”
Alex and Derek exchanged a glance.
“Yes, they do. It’s just that working like I do in the emergency room, I forget about some of the simple pleasures of family life. It’s nice to do something so...normal.”
“You don’t have a family?” Sarah asked, her concern showing in her face and voice.
“Sure I have a family. A mother, father, sisters. The standard stuff.”
“Are you married?”
Derek was becoming uncomfortable with the drift of this conversation. “Sarah, it’s not polite to ask so many questions.”
“Why?”
“It’s not considered good manners.”
“But isn’t that what you do, Dad?”
Alex arched her brow, and Derek threw her a black look. He was trying to spare her feelings, and suddenly the tables were turned on him.
“The reason I pry into people’s lives is usually because a crime has been committed, and it’s my job to determine who did it.”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “I know, Dad.”
Sarah was teasing him. The knowledge slammed into him like a charging bull. She hadn’t done that since before Rhea left. At the silence that enveloped the table, Derek glanced around. Sarah was nibbling on her lower lip and Alex was waiting for him to respond to his daughter’s comment. They were worried about his reaction. He reached over and pulled her ponytail. “You’re a stinker.”
The tension in the room eased.
Sarah resumed her questioning. “What are your sisters like?”
“Sarah, didn’t we just discuss not asking Alex any more questions?”
“I didn’t ask about a husband,” Sarah objected. “I asked her about her sisters, which she already talked about.”
Children, Derek reflected, always knew how to bend the letter of the law.
“She’s got you there, Dad.” Alex’s emphasis on Dad made it sound as if she and Sarah were collaborators in crime. His daughter made a noise. It sounded as if she swallowed a chuckle and it caught in her throat.
“My older sister is a lawyer,” Alex informed them, “and my younger sister has a Ph.D. in ornithology.”
“Ornithology?” Sarah’s brow puckered into a frown. “What’s that?”
“The study of birds. According to my dad, we’re quite a collection of eggheads and pains in the bu—uh—” a blush stained her cheeks “—rear.”
Derek could imagine the pride that George Anderson had in his daughters, all professional, well-educated women. He knew he certainly wanted to know more about George’s middle daughter.
A warning sounded in his brain. This cozy scene wouldn’t last and both he and Sarah would suffer when Alex left. And that was the fly in this ointment. After less than a day and a half, Alex seemed to have carved out a niche in his family. He didn’t like the idea and certainly had no desire to put his heart on the chopping block again.
Abruptly he laid down his spoon. “I need to walk over to my office and check on those DEA agents at the ranch.”
“But wouldn’t Uncle Todd give them your home number?” Sarah asked innocently.
Leave it to a child to state the truth. Alex tried to appear nonchalant, but he sensed she was waiting to see how he answered Sarah’s question.
“Sure he would, but I don’t know if the guys in Marfa have my number, so to be safe, I need to go check.” He stood. “Isn’t it about bedtime for you, Sarah?” If he kept the time Sarah spent with Alex to a minimum, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad later when he and Sarah were alone.
“But it’s early, Dad. It’s only nine.”
“Right. Time to think about bedtime. If you get ready quickly, you can read until ten.”
The gaiety in his daughter fled. Derek cursed himself, but this was the best way to handle the situation.
“Okay.”
Why did she make it sound as if he was inflicting a terrible punishment on her? Derek leaned down and kissed Sarah’s cheek. “When I get back, I’ll come in and we’ll talk.”
From the corner of his eye he caught Alex’s puzzled frown. He nodded to her, then escaped the kitchen. Maybe he could bury some of these fierce feelings in work.
After several hours, first at his office checking with the sheriff in Alpine, then driving out to talk to the DEA agents, Derek discovered he couldn’t shake off his longings.
As he drove back from the ranch, he admitted defeat. Well, if he couldn’t put Alex out of his mind, at least he would rein in his wayward body and clamp down on the emotions running amok in his head.
He was successful until he opened the door and found Alex asleep on the couch, two mugs of something on the coffee table. He peeked. Coffee and what had been at one time hot chocolate.
The significance of what she’d done hit him like a punch to the gut. She had tried to wait up for him, and although her spirit might have been willing, her body wasn’t. Her actions blew his indifference all to hell. For the first time in his police career, someone other than Sarah had cared enough about him to worry.
Damn and double damn.
He was in big, big, Texas-sized trouble here.
* * *
Through layers of sleep, Alex saw the most delicious vision of a handsome male hovering over her. A lock of hair fell over his broad forehead and his intriguing brown eyes were filled with concern. The man should be on a calendar somewhere so females all over the nation could ooh and aah. She snuggled into the cushions, ready to slip into a deeper sleep.
“Hi.”
His voice jerked her out of her dream world. Her feet hit the floor and she sat up like a jack-in-the-box. Alex felt like a child, caught slipping out of her second-story window to go skinny-dipping with her best friend. “I guess I fell asleep.” She felt stupid, stating the obvious. “What time is it?”
“It’s close to midnight.”
She stretched her neck, trying to work out the kinks and gather her scattered wits. “What took you so long? Was there some kind of problem?”
“No. It took longer than I thought to iron out the logistics problems with the DEA agents. I appreciate you being here with Sarah. How did she take it when I called?”
“She was a little disappointed but tried to put on her best face.” Alex thought about Sarah’s reaction, how she’d taken her father’s delay in stride. But Alex had seen the hurt and longing lurking in Sarah’s eyes. “It’s happened before, hasn’t it?”
He pointed to the mug of coffee. “Is that for me?”
“Yes.”
He picked up the mug and walked into the kitchen. Alex followed him and watched him put the coffee in the microwave and hit the minute button. Alex wondered if he would answer her question. Of course, Derek’s relationship with his daughter wasn’t any of her business. But Alex remembered all the times her dad had promised to take her somewhere, then been called away by some business crisis. It had always hurt, and the bleak look in Sarah’s eyes tonight reminded Alex of her own long-ago pain.
The buzzer on the microwave sounded, and Derek pulled the mug from the interior. After taking a sip, he looked at her, and she read his stark anguish. His failure to be here with Sarah hurt him.
“Yeah, it’s happened before.” He gave a harsh laugh. “The sad truth, Alex, is that of Sarah’s two parents, I’ve been the one she could count on most.” He shook his head. “She’s a terrific little girl and doesn’t deserve the parents she got.” He brushed by her and walked into the living room.
His honesty was like a scalding burn on her already hurting heart. Alex didn’t need his emotional turmoil. She had enough of her own. Her brain screamed out a warning that she needed to say good-night, and race to her bedroom, and lock the door. Instead, she joined him on the couch.
“The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins,” Alex offered in way of comfort. Her brain was saying one thing, her heart and mouth another. And she seemed to have no control over what was happening. It was as if she was standing back and watching another person converse with Derek.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he tersely asked, setting down his mug.
“It means that if you love Sarah and show it, then you missing her bedtime now and again is forgivable. And from what I’ve seen so far, you do show it.”
He shrugged. His manner was seemingly careless, but Alex felt his inner tension. “Yeah, I love her. She was the only decent thing that came out of my marriage.” He stared down into his empty mug. “Sarah’s been through a lot. Rhea, my ex, didn’t much care for motherhood. For her, a baby was an inconvenience. She couldn’t party and go out with her friends because she had to take care of Sarah. When I was working and couldn’t be home, Rhea would leave Sarah with whoever would volunteer to care for her.”
The emotions pouring out of him pulled at Alex, and as much as she wanted to withdraw into her protective shell, she couldn’t and wouldn’t. Tonight, sharing dinner and ice cream with Sarah and Derek had made her feel normal. Her reaction had surprised her, but she was grateful to Derek for the small miracle and wanted to return the favor.
“Sometimes when I have to leave Sarah with Mabel or my brother, I’m afraid she thinks it’s her mother all over again.”
Alex couldn’t stand the pain in his voice, the bleakness of his eyes. Reaching out, she ran her fingers along his jaw. His head turned into her hand, and his gaze locked with hers. The dark hunger of sexual need exploded between them.
He lowered his head to hers. The touch of his lips was agonizingly sweet, making Alex want more. Her eyes fluttered closed and she opened her mouth, inviting a more intimate contact.
His tongue slipped past her teeth and she tasted coffee and the wonderful flavor that was this man. A longing so deep that it reached the very center of her being bubbled up in her, obliterating all reason and rational thought. The real world with its ca
res and fears fell away, and all she knew was the glorious touch of his mouth and the life-giving heat of his body. And the marvelous joy of forgetfulness.
Her hand glided over his cheek and into the thickness of his hair. She wanted to be closer to him. Her action ignited him and he caught her around the waist and pulled her onto his lap. Before she could protest, he cupped her face and took her mouth again. He wasn’t gentle, the need in him giving way to a passion that seared them both with flames of pleasure.
Derek rained kisses down her throat to the hollow of her neck. When his warm palm slid under her shirt and covered her breast, Alex came crashing back to reality.
“Derek,” she whispered frantically.
He went still.
“This is insane,” she said. “We can’t do this.”
He lifted his head from her neck and looked into her eyes. Slowly she saw the fiery storm of desire retreat and sanity return. He still hadn’t removed his hand from her breast, and the heat from the contact burned down into her inner core. It was heaven and hell to have him touch her.
“You’re right.” Regret touched his expression. Slowly, never lifting his palm from her skin, he slid it down to her waist, then out from under the hem of her shirt. He paused for a moment, and Alex felt the weight of his hands on her, then he lifted her back to her original position on the couch.
Resting his elbows on his knees, he fixed his gaze on something across the room. “Do you know, Doc, this was the first time since I’ve been a cop that someone was waiting up for me when I came home or—” he glanced at her, the corner of his mouth drawn up in a half smile “—at least tried to wait up.”
Alex felt a trembling in the emotional ground beneath her feet. She heard the loneliness in his voice and identified with it. How often had she come home after an emotionally draining day in the emergency room to an empty apartment and longed for someone to be there and share the ups and downs of her day?
She started to reach out to him again, wanting to ease his burden, then snatched her hand back. She couldn’t afford to risk her heart and allow herself to be drawn into this man’s life. Instinctively Alex knew if she opened herself up to him, Derek would melt the iceberg surrounding her heart, and she would slip into the churning emotional sea surrounding her. And Alex feared she wouldn’t survive in those black, choppy waters.
