by C L Green
Jen watches me begin frantically searching for my IPhone in my handbag.
“Shit Ash, take a breather will you? I haven’t seen you this riled up in a while. Well, when I say in a while, I should probably clarify that it's been a whole three days since your last rant. We both know that that is only due to the pain meds you’ve been on. Clearly you were quite taken with Jax? To this fact I have only one thing to say. I saw him first so the way I see it, I get first dibs.”
“And what about Jason, your fiancé?” I ask acidly. I am annoyed that she would even consider cutting in. Especially on the man who, I am now sure, I am going to marry and have lots of babies with.
“Yes well, you do have a good point there. Sadly for Jax I’m off the market. And luckily so because, according to a medical expert I recently met, I have some weird genetic mutation that sees me destined to become too stupid to maintain friendships and relationships anyway.”
She says this in a serious tone with just a tiny hint of a smile sneaking onto the corners of her lips.
I stop my crazed search for my IPhone and breathe out deeply.
“You still haven’t answered my question. Why did you call him old?”
“Because I was told he was old, that’s why.”
Her sneaky little smile is starting to lift the corners of her mouth even further.
“The fact that I was told he was old by a nineteen year old graduate recruit at work may have something to do with the difference in opinion we are now experiencing. To be honest I can’t wait to see said graduate recruit on Monday. I am now very keen to find out his thoughts on which category of the human age spectrum I belong to.”
Jen flashes me a cheeky grin as she starts the car, flings it into gear and starts a wide u-turn across the front of the day yards. We are soon pointing back up the driveway and towards the front gate again.
“Oh.” I take another almost normal breath. “I suppose that sounds like a reasonable excuse. I’ll let you off the Health Service visit for today, but I am watching you closely. If I even suspect that one small symptom of stupidity is beginning to show again, I will quickly be arranging your transport to a Health Service. You may need to check that your ambulance cover is up-to-date when you get home, in case you have to pay transport costs.”
Jen ponders my threat seriously for a brief moment before simply shaking the conversation off and getting down to the business of driving us home. This leaves me with nothing further to say, so I use the opportunistic silence to begin plotting a plan to find out more about Jax Walker.
The first thing I of course need to know, is does he have a wife or girlfriend? Having a wife or girlfriend would put a dampener on my future husband plans for him. We have only travelled a kilometre or so down the road when I decide I have formulated my initial plan enough to bring Jen in on it.
“What are the chances you can invite your graduate recruit friend and their other friend who knows Jax, out for drinks one night this week?”
Jen swings towards me and gasps, “What! Why?”
“Well I was thinking that perhaps I could tip them with a few drinks and find out a bit more about Jax.”
Jen looks at me like I have grown two heads.
Placing a finger on her lips thoughtfully she says, “Well, let me consider that for a second. Hmm. No. No with a big fat capital N and a big fat capital O. What the hell are you thinking woman? Is it not less than five minutes since we had a conversation that mentioned I was engaged? Can you imagine the gossipmongers at work and the field day they would have if I suddenly, out of the blue, asked our graduate recruit to drinks? It would be even worse if I also asked said graduate recruit to bring along his friend because my single, attractive friend is coming with me?”
Swinging her eyes back to the road, Jen asks, “Have you lost it woman? Even worse than the gossipmongers having their own field day would be management of the expectations of the graduate recruit. No doubt said graduate recruit would be very excited to get a drinks offer from a person who he now thinks is a Cougar. On top of this, the Cougar is bringing her single, Cougar friend. I bet he’d think he was onto a sure thing and turn up with great expectations and a stiffy. He’d probably even bring a pocket full of weed to smoke as well.”
Taking a pause to allow her words to sink in, she asks, “Are you getting my ‘no’ message loud and clear? Develop some other plan, but leave me and my work associates out of it. Here’s a thought. Why don’t you go about this your usual way and ask Jax about himself direct? It's not like I haven’t had to kick your ass about slipping into old habits before when you’ve had a problem being direct with people. Don’t expect me to stop now, just because you like a random, good-looking guy you just met.”
She has a point.
What is making me want to act so differently in front of this guy? I am usually known as a babbler who says the most direct and inappropriate things to strangers all the time. Usually taking the direct approach doesn’t bother me at all. This is because I have developed a personal motto that every day should be lived to its fullest. This motto also dictates that I should only spend it with people who I trust and people who accept me for exactly who I am.
If people don’t like me, they can just take me or leave me and then move on if they choose to leave me.
A lot of this attitude was developed in my early twenties. It was at this age that I realised that I had spent the first twenty years of my life working very hard to try to please everyone. Everyone included parents, teachers, friends and even strangers. I tried so hard that I was being used by all as a doormat or an extra. A person who could be relied on for lending my money or my time to achieve everyone else’s goals.
If I were invited to a party, it was so I could cook the food or be the nominated driver. If I were invited on a road trip, it was so I could ‘help’ put in for the fuel, or even more usually, pay for all of it.
It had taken me a full twenty years to realize why this was happening to me and one day I just woke up and decided I’d had enough.
How could I have been so stupid?
Especially for someone who had been blessed at birth with a set of brains that allowed me to remember just about everything I read or saw. A brain that could process thoughts, responses and calculations a lot faster than the average Joe could.
I was a fast and avid learner and I had flown through school with a series of straight A’s for every class I attended. To achieve this, I had learned to study and complete work in my own time at home, away from the eyes of my friends. This meant that I could spend my days ‘dumbing’ myself down in front of others. This was a self-defense mechanism to make sure that I was accepted and not ostracized for being the nerd I was.
I suppose it was almost funny that it took me so long to work out all this out. To be honest, it probably would have been useful to attend a class at school on the real ways to be socially accepted. Then I would have been good at it.
A part of my late life change in attitude had also been that I started to say what I thought.
There was no more of me holding back my thoughts and feelings to make sure that I fitted in and was acceptable to my so called friends. I also realized that I hated lying and was not going to put up with anyone who lied to me.
It didn’t take long from the initiation of my new ‘attitude’ for most of my so called friends to start avoiding me. This soon meant that my rather large circle of friends spiraled down to a few sincere, real friends who liked and understood the real me.
Jen had been one of these real friends. She had stood by me through thick and thin. Even to the point of reminding me now and then that I did not want to go back to that dark place of not being me, like she was doing again now.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Let’s chalk that one up to temporary insanity. We can say it was due to a hormonal imbalance caused by pheromones being emitted by a certain male demigod. I’m not too sure what I was thinking.”
Jen gives me a soft and knowing look. Unders
tanding and empathy reflecting in her violet blue eyes. God she knows me so well and I love her for it.
Time to change the subject I think.
“Did you see the way Maverick just did as he was told and didn’t put a foot wrong for him? What the hell was that?”
“Amazing wasn’t it?” Jen agrees. “I’ve never seen anything like that before. The way he just walked up, took him from me, trotted him in a couple of circles and then making him go backwards and forwards. Watching him back through that gate was like watching a ballet recital.
Then when he did it all again on the float, in out, in out, in out, I was just about gobsmacked. Maverick looked like he was enjoying himself and there was no place he’d rather be than on that float. All without any food! He’s got my vote; he sure looks like he knows what he’s doing.”
Indeed he does, I think to myself as we both fall into a companionable silence that lasts the rest of the way home. A silence that Jen seems to sense I need as I roll thoughts about Jax through my head, over and again, wondering how long it will be before I see him again.
I also marvel that I am so interested in someone I have just met when I usually don’t give anyone a second thought until I have known them long enough to trust them.
*****
Our arrival back at my place involves the usual chaotic excitement that revolves around my personal welcoming party, my golden retrievers.
There are two big reasons why I love my golden retrievers. Number one is that they are always happy to see me; and number two is that they don’t lie. (Well it's hard to tell a lie if you can’t speak a language, but even so, I know my girls tell the truth – always!)
I’ve decided that golden retrievers are the dog of choice for any person or family as they have to be the happiest creatures on earth. They are always smiling – and I mean always. Visitors to my house say that it’s like watching a group of dolphins smiling and laughing as they greet you on your arrival and departure (and during your visit for that matter).
I for one find it incredibly difficult to keep any bad mood for long when my girls are around. They simply use their golden retriever super powers to suck bad moods right out of you. That is why I have three of them. I do tend to get moody more often than most, especially when I am out and about dealing with world. To deal with my moods I need an industrial amount of golden retriever bad mood sucking super power. This is definitely provided by my small squad of golden girls as I arrive home each day.
Our arrival follows the standard procedure of us coming down the road to my house to see my three girls lounging in various shady positions along my front garden. They do this with their eyes firmly on the road keeping watch for impostors, invaders, visitors, or their personal favorite, the arrival home of their democratically assigned deity – me.
With their rich, yellow gold coats and fluffy feathering around their necks, legs and tails, they look more like a pride of golden lions. This is emphasized by the way they casually laze about looking like they are doing nothing most of the time.
That is until either guard duties or welcoming duties are required.
In this mode, all hell breaks loose when they either charge as a loud, barking group at the threatening invader. This almost deafening racket is maintained until said invader decides to remove their self from the immediate vicinity of the chicken wire fence boundary that surrounds my house.
If the invader is positively identified as a welcome friend, they begin to swirl madly around each other, performing an intricate dance pattern while yipping and yodeling with glee at the visitor’s arrival.
Today, the girls of course spot us about one hundred meters out from the driveway. They then start performing their mad yodeling dance maneuvers on the other side of the gate as we pull slowly into the driveway and stop.
I apprehensively climb out of the car, trying to avoid rattling my ribs and wrist as I wander over to open the gate. This is done while battling with a mass of noses and tongues as each of the girls shoves their way through the melee to give me a personal, tactile doggie greeting. With the first greetings conducted, they all race madly down to the house to await our more formal arrival home.
Jen pulls the car down the driveway, kills the engine and climbs out to greet the girls. She does this as I slowly make my way down the driveway and head to the back of the float to help her unload Maverick.
We quickly go about the process of unloading him, which to our surprise he does calmly. Jen then leads him around the house and down to his paddock where she gives him a quick scratch behind the ears before setting him free.
While she does this, I shuffle about and grab a shovel ready to clean the float before it is put away in the shed.
“I’ll do that,” Jen says as she returns from Maverick’s paddock. “You are injured and you should probably just go inside and sit down. Please just go and open the house and then give me your keys so I can open the shed. I’ll put the float away then be back down to the house shortly.”
I breathe a tired sigh of relief. She is my best friend ever. I hadn’t even realized how exhausted I was until that precise moment and the thought of sitting down sounds divine.
I throw her a thankful smile and head over to unlock my back door. I hear soft footfalls behind me and realize she has followed me there to save me the effort of walking the keys back to her at the car.
What a good woman.
I hand her the keys, show her the shed key and with yet another grateful smile, head inside to get us both a cold drink. I then flop down on the couch to wait until she comes back.
I have barely sat down when my IPhone starts ringing in my handbag. I rustle around through my bag, pull out my phone and read the caller identification flashing on the screen. I am surprised to find it is Jen ringing so I quickly swipe across the screen to answer her call.
“Um, long time no see, what’s wrong?” I ask. Worry edging my words because Jen ringing me from my driveway surely has to mean something has gone wrong outside.
“Nothing’s wrong. Don’t panic. I was just being lazy and I still haven’t finished putting your float away. I’ll be a few more minutes yet. Guess who just called me on my mobile?”
“How many guesses do I get? My first guess would be Santa. It is November and I expect he is already taking orders. Have you been a good girl Ms.Jones?”
“Well actually that is not a bad guess. Not the correct answer but damned close. I’m guessing you are going to think this guy is Santa when I tell you it was graduate recruits friend asking if it is okay to give your phone number to Jax. Apparently Jax rang him trying to find your contact details so he can call you about something to do with Maverick. I of course initially said I couldn’t hand out private details because of privacy laws and all, but then thought better of it. This was due only to the personal benefit I am going to receive of not having to get wrapped up in some mad capped plan to spy on the poor guy. A mad capped plan that you are no doubt cooking up while you are unsupervised inside, and I am here outside. This is way easier, just talk to him yourself.”
Holy crap.
He wanted my phone number?
I hadn’t even thought about swapping phone numbers before we left his place. I suppose it is fair to want to have a new client’s phone number, but why didn’t he just wait until I had contacted him again? Maybe he only just realized he didn’t have a contact number for me at all since the graduate recruit’s friend had organized our first meeting and just relayed the information through to Jen?
Whatever his reason was, it left me feeling a little bit excited, and a little bit worried at the same time.
“Okay. Thanks… I think… I’ve already made you a cold drink, so please don’t fuss about with the float for too long. See you soon.”
I end the call and have barely put my phone down next to me when it starts to ring again. A brief feeling of annoyance slices through me as I predict that it is Jen calling me back, again. I grab the phone back up quickly and look at the
screen. To my surprise, the number displayed is unknown to me.
A massive, nauseating wave of adrenaline hits me. I feel my whole body come alive as the hairs on the back of my neck stand up making me shiver. My stomach rolls. A flash of concern shoots through me as I sit staring at the phone like it is a bomb. I am wondering if the caller could be Jax.
I panic and jump off the couch only to feel a sharp stabbing pain in my ribs. My ribs are once again giving me a much-needed reminder that fast movements are not my friend at this point in time.
Should I even answer it?
I consider grabbing the phone and running it out to Jen for her to answer it for me. I then strike that idea as I realize that in my injured state, it is doubtful I will make it to her in time before the call forwards to voicemail.
There is nothing I can do but answer it myself. I sit back down and swipe to accept the call.
“Hello?” I greet my unknown caller with a semi-squeak. The adrenaline rush has obviously left me voiceless too.
“It’s Jax Walker.”
It is him.
I feel myself freeze and all the breath whooshes from my chest. I feel yet another sharp stabbing pain in my ribs as my lungs contract tightly in my chest. My mind starts spinning madly with thoughts about what I should say next when his rich, deep voice echoes through the phone, “Ashleigh, did you hear me? It’s Jax Walker.”
I draw in a big breath trying to re-establish some oxygen to my brain and say, “Call me Ash; all my friends call me Ash.”
“Sure, Ash. You get home okay?” He asks in his smooth, deep sexy voice.
A voice that I am starting to realize I just can’t hear enough of.
I am about to say yes, and I wish I had, but instead my mouth overruns my brain and I blurt, “Are you married?”
Where the hell did that come from?
“No.”
Well that’s a good start I think to myself. Then before I know what I am doing I throw in, “Do you have a girlfriend?”
