“Would you mind waiting for a moment please? I just need to make sure I can get in to my place, I forgot the keys and Mr. Lambert had to stay at the event.” The driver nods again and I hop out of the car praying to God that Selma is working the front desk. I catch sight of her through the glass front door and I wave back to the driver, “Thank you!” As he pulls out back in to traffic I wonder if perhaps I shouldn’t have made sure that she would let me in to the apartment first.
“Hi!” I have to stop myself from calling her Selma. “Gideon, Mr. Lambert, had to stay at the event tonight a little longer than expected and he forgot to give me the key to get back upstairs,” I offer a pleading smile, a girl to girl smile, “could you please let me in?” I watch her grimace.
“I really can’t, I’m so sorry.” I try my luck at a pleading look one more time.
“Please? I just need to grab my purse and change out of this stupid dress!” I gesture down to the dress that had once made me feel like a princess but was now making me feel nothing short of ridiculous.
“I really wish I could, but there’s no one else approved for penthouse access and I could lose my job if I let you up.” I smile, a smile of understanding mixed with defeat.
“I understand. I wouldn’t want you to lose your job…”
“Joanna” she offered.
“Joanna. Thank you anyway.” I look over to the tightly stuffed leather sofa against the wall. “Would it be okay if I waited here for Mr. Lambert to return?” She nods.
“Sure! Would you like a Coke or something?”
“Sure, I’ll take one if you don’t mind.” Joanna disappears down the corridor to the right of her desk and comes back shortly with a can of Coke in one hand and a bar of chocolate in the other.
“I figured you could use this.” She waves the chocolate and I laugh.
“If only chocolate could fix this.” Joanna hands me the Coke and chocolate bar and goes back to her post at the front desk.
“Want to talk about it?” I shrug.
“That’s the problem, Joanna; I don’t quite know what it is. I appreciate the offer though, you’re sweet to ask.” I raise the can of Coke and bar of chocolate “I appreciate the goodies too; they should tide me over until he gets back.” She offers me a brief smile and we sit in a few minutes of awkward silence before she makes an attempt at small talk.
After an hour of sitting in the lobby making small talk with Joanna, Gideon walks in to the lobby. His expression is one of surprise when he finds me sitting there and I know he’s expecting more than I have to give.
“I needed my house keys” I say in a hushed tone. “They wouldn’t let me up since I’m not on your lease. Joanna here has been very kind keeping me company though.” I give Joanna a smile and turn back to find Gideon crestfallen. I suppose he thought I had returned to him, decided that I could, after all, deal with being the ‘other woman.’ I hated to disappoint him but the truth is that I couldn’t be the other woman; I deserve to be more than the other woman.
“Good,” his voice is strained and he won’t look me in the eye, instead he gestures for me to follow him to the elevator. The ride up to those floor to ceiling windows is painfully silent, Gideon watches his dress shoes the whole way up and I try desperately to think of something to say, something to ease the tension. I come up with nothing.
“I just need to grab my keys and purse and change in to my clothes if that’s okay?” He nods.
“You can keep the dress, I bought it for you.” How do I tell him that I don’t want to keep the dress? I don’t want any reminders of this awfully long night, of what could have been if only I was prepared to accept one little fact – that he was married.
“Thanks” I plan to leave it in the closet when I leave.
Chapter Seventeen
After a full five minutes of trying to figure out how to unzip myself from the dress I give in and call for Gideon to help me. It’s the last thing I want to do but I also don’t want to have to wear this dress back to my cheap shithole of a townhome. I can hear him pouring a drink in the living room, the clinking of ice in his glass and I know that it’s best to hurry up and get home because no good can come from a broken relationship mixed with alcohol.
“Gideon, would you mind helping me please?” I regret asking as soon as I say it but I hear him set down the glass on a counter somewhere and he appears in the doorway. “Can you unzip this dress please? I wouldn’t ask but I can’t reach it myself.” He walks around behind me.
“I told you, it’s yours.” He unzips it slowly; unable to help himself he slides his hands inside the dress, resting his hands on my sides, letting his finger run over the softness of my stomach. I slip the dress off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor and leave it in a crumpled heap, an appropriate metaphor for what’s left of our relationship. As I do though, I feel Gideon sliding his hands up towards my breasts. I want to stop him, to tell him that I’d meant it when I said it was over. His fingers pinch my nipples carefully between them and he rests his chin on my shoulder. He doesn’t say anything but I can smell the whiskey on his breath as he begins to breathe more heavily. My chest rises and falls as he pinches my nipples to two small pink buds and I can feel my bare pussy getting wet already.
Gideon turns his mouth in to my neck, he buries his face in me and I can almost feel the sorrow on his face. One of his hands slides downwards his fingers coming to rest against my pussy as he pulls me to him and holds me tightly. The way he holds me it feels as though he’s protecting me, keeping me for himself, not wanting to let me go.
“Gideon, please. I should go.” As I say these words he spins me around and presses his lips against mine.
“Please don’t…” He wraps his arms around me, picking me up and instinctively I wrap my legs around his waist. I want to let go, I want to go home but my body won’t let me. My body still aches for him. Stepping forward Gideon presses me against the wall, I wrap my hands behind his neck and reaching down he unzips his pants and lets them fall to the floor in one fluid motion. He buries his head in my neck again but as he does so I feel his cock growing harder, pressing against my opening and he pushes me against the wall. His breath comes fast and soon I find myself balanced on the tip of his cock, crushed between the wall and his hard muscular body. He thrusts deep inside me and my breath comes as a sharp intake as I gasp out loud. He is buried deeper inside me, deeper than he has ever been before and when he finally lifts his head to look at me I see something different in his eyes. This is angry Gideon, this is Gideon who likes to blindfold and tease; this is Gideon who just wants to fuck. His eyes lock on mine, cold and empty and I watch him silently as he fucks me, my body banging against the wall, my pussy getting tighter by the second.
“Gideon, we…” It’s a little too late for protest since he’s already buried balls deep in my pussy but for the sake of trying to convince myself that I tried to tear myself away from a married man, I let the words fall from my lips anyway. But as I speak them, as I try to tell him we can’t, his eyes become more aflame than before and placing his arms underneath my armpits he begins to lift me up and down on top of his cock. I can feel my pussy tightening and I know that any minute now I’m going to cum. Gideon opens his mouth and with almost a snarl on his lips he thrusts in short sharp motions and as my pussy begins to squeeze him tighter I feel him filling me with his cum. He fills me until his cock stops throbbing and then lifting me off him he sets me down on my feet, and grabbing his clothes he walks out of the bedroom.
I grab my clothes out of the large closet, leaving my dress in a pile on the bedroom floor and I head to the bathroom. Quickly I stuff myself in to my clothes and hurriedly throw the contents of the clutch to my purse, secure my house keys and am still cramming my feet in to my shoes as I walk towards the bedroom door. As I head in to the living room I find Gideon on the sectional sofa in a t-shirt and a pair of slacks, his arms spread across its back and a glass of amber liquid in one hand. He looks at me, his eyes begging
me to stay.
“You’re leaving then?” Had he really thought that a last minute fuck would make me stay? I had imagined he would say something much more grandiose, offered a gesture of his undying love, begged me to stay with promises to leave his wife. I got no such gesture.
“Yes, I need to get home, I have to work in the morning and it’s getting late.” He lets out a long sigh and turns his eyes to the whiskey glass in his hand. “Thank you for…an enlightening evening, Gideon” I wanted to say lovely but there was certainly nothing lovely about the way this evening was ending. I head for the door, walking slowly, offering one last chance for him to beg me to stay.
As the doors to the elevator close however, I realize that there will be no begging. There will be no staying.
Down in the reception Joanna gives me a smile and unable to hold it in anymore I blurt out my goodbyes between sobs. She looks mortified, not knowing what to do she offers me a box of tissues and taking a handful I turn on my heel and head for the big glass doors.
The drive home is torturous, I blast Total Eclipse of the Sun as loud as my stereo will go and sing at the top of my lungs between hiccupping sobs. Over and over in my head I ask myself what I could have done differently to make him want me to stay, to make him leave his wife for me. I felt like such an idiot, falling for a married man, going back even after I knew that he was married. Getting sucked in to his sexual appetite, his lust, his…everything. I hope to God that Allison isn’t there when I get home because I want nothing more than to curl up in bed with a bucket of ice cream. The last thing I need is to recap my incredible failure of a relationship to someone who will almost certainly tell me to go back to him with my tail between my legs because after all, I wasn’t looking for a husband was I?
To my dismay however, when I get home, Allison is parked on the living room sofa, her hand in a bucket of popcorn and her eyes glued to the TV screen. I wonder whether it would be possible to sneak past her and go straight to my room but no sooner do I wonder than she has paused the TV and turned to me for a news report.
“OH HONEY!” She sees the mascara running down my cheeks and my red puffy eyes, she’d have to be blind not to. I try to wave her off, act like it’s nothing but with the first wave of my hand the tears start again. “What happened? Come here!” She pats the sofa next to her and sets the popcorn on the coffee table.
“I…I…I…” I don’t even know where to begin.
“What is it?” She puts her hand on my arm, “what did that asshole do?”
“He’s married!” I blurt out between sobs.
“But…I thought we already knew that?” Allison is confused and rightfully so.
“But I don’t want to be the slut on the side! I want to be the wife; I want to be the girlfriend. I just want to be something other than the other woman!” My head is pounding and with each word my headache just gets worse.
“Well honey, you know what I say to that?” I look at her, “Fuck it. You’re too good for him anyway.” I want not to care, I want to say fuck it, but I don’t want to lose Gideon Lambert, my Ricky.
“Why did he have to be married Allie?”
“Oh honey I don’t know…” She reaches for my purse and rummages through it. “Don’t you have any tissues in here?” She stops rummaging and lets out a gasp. “Holy shit Melissa!”
“What?” The tears stop immediately and I blink to rid my eyes of blur. Allison pulls out a small piece of paper. A piece of paper that looks very much like a check. She holds it up to me. It is a piece of paper that very much is a check. It’s a check written on the account of Mr. G Lambert for a total sum of $10,000. “What the hell?” When did he put that in there? Why did he put that in there? Was it my payoff to keep quiet, to let him keep living as Mr. Gideon Lambert with that cute bit on the side that looks just like his wife?
“Oh my God, Melissa, that’s ten thousand fucking dollars…do you realize what you could do with money like that?” I do realize what I can do with money like that but I also know what I want to do with money like that, I want to tear it up and throw it in his face. Sure, it’s a lot of money but does he actually think he can buy my integrity for ten thousand dollars?
“I’m not selling out for ten thousand dollars Allie.” She smirks at me.
“I’d sell out for ten thousand dollars…at least until the money ran out.” I can’t help but laugh at her. “Then, I’d probably just ask for some more.”
“I wish it was that simple Allie, but I think I love him…”
“Well, can’t you love him and pretend he’s not married? I mean, we still haven’t seen his wife.”
“Apparently,” I wipe my nose on the sleeve of my shirt, “she looks just like me…or I look just like her…” Allie looks at me in disbelief.
“What a creep! If you were going to cheat on your wife why would you cheat with someone who looked just like her? That’s just creepy!” I shrug. “Unless…” I look at her questioningly.
“Unless what?”
“Unless he really did kill her and bury her somewhere in the woods and now he’s trying to pass you off as his wife so he doesn’t get caught.” She raises a single eyebrow, “you know, that would mean there wasn’t a wife anymore which would also mean that you’re not the mistress anymore…”
“But it would also mean he was a murderer and I’m pretty sure being in love with a murderer is worse than being in love with a cheater?”
“Hmm. I suppose so.” Allison stuffs the check back in my purse. “So, what are you going to do with it?”
“I don’t know Allie, I really don’t know.”
Chapter Eighteen
“Well?” Allison eyes me suspiciously.
“Well what?” I play dumb, knowing full well what she’s talking about.
“It’s been three days Melissa and there’s still a check for ten thousand dollars sitting in your purse. Any sane person would have cashed it and…well…done something with it.” Allison looks at me expectantly.
“Allie, I don’t want his money. I don’t want to get paid for being his girl on the side. I don’t even know why he gave me the money in the first place but I know I can’t keep it. I won’t keep it.”
Nothing has played on my mind more over the last few days than that stupid check. The money would do incredible things for me. I would finally be able to do some of the things I want to do; I could take time off work to read. I could go on a real vacation without tagging along with my sister and her family. Ten thousand dollars would be such an incredible addition to any bank account (especially my own) but when I think about where the money came from…and what I did to get it. It’s dirty money, it makes me feel like a whore and while it would still be nice to pay off someone or do something nice for myself I can’t and won’t do it with money paid to me through Gideon’s misguided sense of chivalry.
“Well…I could keep it?” Allison looks at me, one eyebrow raised, snapping me back to the here and now and I can’t help but laugh.
“Sorry Allie, I’m giving this one back. I can’t have his dirty money sitting in my bank account mocking me, making me feel like a cheap escort.”
“You can’t give it back Allie that’s just rude!”
“Oh, and paying me off to keep me as a girl on the side isn’t rude?” Allison flops down on the chair opposite me and rests her chin on her hand.
“Is that what he told you it was for?” Allison stares at me open mouthed and a frown wrinkling her forehead.
“Not in so many words, how could he? I haven’t spoken to him since the last time we...”
“Asshole. He hasn’t called you?” I shake my head, no.
“No, I told you, we haven’t talked since that night at the stupid function. And I’ll be damned if I’m calling him, I want nothing to do with him right now…you know what I might do though? I heard from a couple of the guys on the catering crew that they’re having another function at Lambert Estates. I’m sure I still have the woman’s contact from last time
. I could get a job from her and dump the check right back in to the donation bucket. That way I don’t have to see his arrogant ass again and the money will go back to someone who actually needs it.”
“I actually need it, Missy. You should see what my bank account looks like at the minute, I’m pretty sure that I qualify as a charity. Besides, won’t he be at the event? Won’t he see you trying to be all sneaky slipping that money in to the donations?”
“Not likely, he said himself he hardly ever goes to his functions. If he is there then so what? What’s he going to do, chase me down and shove the money back in my purse? I’m pretty sure for one that I’m faster than him and I’m also pretty certain that he wouldn’t risk his reputation to chase me down and cram money in to my hand.”
“Wouldn’t it just be easier to give it back to him, maybe you could leave it with his secretary or something?” I shake my head, no.
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