by Lili Zander
She clamps her lips shut. Stubborn woman.
“You’re actually going to let me fuck you because you’re grateful?”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re not very bright sometimes,” she says. “I’m here because I want to be.” Her eyes lock on my cock, and she licks her lips. “Come here,” she purrs.
I ache for her. I’ve tried to get her to walk out of here, and she refuses to go. She wants to stay? Good.
I’d been on a training mission once in my early days in the army. We’d taken enemy fire, and we had to crash-land on the desert planet of Chibbiri. Our comms were wrecked. Nothing but sand stretched out in every direction.
We had no water. No blood. We’d picked a direction at random, and for three straight days, we’d stumbled forward, our bodies screaming in thirst.
Then we’d walked into an oasis. I’d taken a sip of water, and it had been the best moment of my life.
Sliding into Raven’s slick heat is better.
I spread her legs and thrust into her. I’m not soft, and I’m not gentle. I slam into her. Once, twice, a third time. Fuck me. She’s so hot. So wet. So ready. She gasps, and her muscles clamp tight around me, gripping me in a vise.
It’s too much. I can’t hold on. I’m going to explode. With a muffled curse, I pull out. Raven chuckles breathlessly and twists around, as quick as a cat, and she slides out from under my grip. She tackles me, her eyes dancing with mirth, and I allow myself to fall back on the bed. “It’s my turn.”
She takes my shaft in her mouth, her blue eyes never leaving my face. I curse again. I’m shaking. My brain is a haze of lust. My cock is so hard that it’s painful. She bobs her head on my length, and once again, I have to fight to hold off my climax. Her mouth… That tongue… I can’t think straight.
I jerk free before I erupt in her mouth. Not yet. I’ve waited too long for this. “Get on your knees,” I order, my voice harsh. I grab her hips and plow into her from behind. She gasps, her hands fisting the sheets, and then she pushes back, meeting each stroke.
Fuck. She’s so fucking perfect.
I grip her ass and thrust deep. Her body is hot and slick with sweat. I pull her closer, making escape impossible, and her laugh rings in my ears. I play with the sensitive bundle of nerves between her folds, and she whimpers in response.
I want to see her face as she falls apart.
It’s too dangerous, a voice of caution whispers. I tell it to fuck off. I grab her hips again and turn her toward me. Looming over her delicate body, I thrust into her, my face contorting into a snarl of need.
Our gazes lock, and I cannot look away.
I move my fingers to her clit. She bites her lower lip between her pretty white teeth, and her face floods with pleasure. “Don’t stop,” she moans. “Please don’t stop.”
She closes her eyes. I growl in my throat. “Keep your eyes on me,” I order. “You want to come? Look at me.”
She shudders her way to a climax. Her muscles flutter around my cock, and it’s too much. Too good. I pound into her, deep, hard, uncontrolled, and I erupt into her body.
We stay locked together for a long moment. I know I shouldn’t do it, but I reach for Raven anyway and pull her into my body. She’s soft and warm and sated. “What do you think?” I ask, holding her close. “Did I satisfy you?”
She chokes out a laugh. “Hmm. Let me think about that.”
My lips twitch. “We still have a few hours until dawn,” I murmur. “I guess I need to make them count.”
We do. It’s almost daybreak when we finally fall asleep.
But when I wake up an hour after dawn, Raven’s gone.
Her message is clear. It’s my move now.
29
Raven
After that, things happen at the speed of light.
While I was sleeping with Ragnar—okay, there was very little sleep involved—Astrid went on the holo networks and broke the news about Harek Levitan’s plan. I watch her speech the next day. She gives a brief and surprisingly accurate summary of the events of the last three weeks. “Make no mistake,” she finishes, her voice as cold as ice. “General Harek Levitan created a virus that would kill every vampire who came into contact with it. He has killed thousands of people in his greedy and reckless pursuit of power. He has committed treason against the Shayde Empire. His estates have been confiscated. He has been stripped of his citizenship. His family, dissolved. His life is forfeit. Anyone who shelters Harek Levitan commits an act of war against the Empire.”
“Now that everything’s out in the open, we can dedicate more resources into finding Levitan,” Saber says, sitting next to me and putting an arm around my waist. “Astrid’s put a bounty on his head. The Constellation of Jowth won’t shelter him, neither with the Oensi Federation, nor the Great Horde of Zaddyth. They don’t want to go to war with Astrid. The criminals in the Uncharted Reaches will sell him out for the bounty. He’s run out of places to hide. We’ll find him before long.”
“I hope so,” I say fervently. “Astrid said a vaccine’s ready. It isn’t, is it?”
He shakes his head. “She had to make a choice. She could wait for the vaccine to be mass produced, and risk that Levitan would incite a riot, or she could get ahead of the problem. She chose the latter.”
“Is that a problem?”
“Karling will make it work.”
“Poor Dr. Karling. That’s a lot of pressure.”
Saber snorts unsympathetically, and I know he still hasn’t forgotten what Ivar Karling said during the first briefing in Ragnar’s apartment, the day we landed on Starra. “He’ll live.”
I lean on his shoulder. “I can’t believe it’s really over. I’ve grown so used to being in danger. Used to having Hala follow me everywhere.”
He kisses me on the lips. “That’s not going to change. You’re a part of my bô. You won’t be in active danger, but it’s still inadvisable to go anywhere without a security detail.”
“Ah, there it is.” I wink at him. “If you didn’t tell me what to do, how would I manage?”
He bites my earlobe. “Brat.”
“Always.” I nuzzle into him. For a few seconds, I just savor the feeling of perfect safety I feel in Saber’s arms. “Marya saved our ass, you know. Without her, we’d have failed.”
He exhales. “I know. It’s immensely frustrating.” His mouth softens into a wry smile. “I can’t contemplate how many different ways I’m going to murder her anymore without feeling a twinge of guilt.” He bops my nose. “It’s just a little twinge. I haven’t given up my fantasies entirely.”
“Nice to know you’re fantasizing about your ex.” I keep a straight face and watch him sweat for about thirty seconds, and then I can’t hold back my giggles. “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. You should have seen your face.”
His glacier blue eyes rest on me, promising pleasure and sin and sweetness. “Zeke’s not the only one who can spank you, Raven,” he murmurs into my ear.
Every nerve ending in my body sparks to life at the heat in his tone. “Ooh, promises. Speaking of Zeke, where is he?”
“Astrid wanted to talk to him.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What about?”
“I think she’s going to make him a job offer.” His eyes shine with pride. “Ragnar’s set up and managed Astrid’s spy network, but Astrid wants him on the Council. He can’t manage both jobs. I think she wants to make Zeke her new Spymaster.”
Good for Zeke. “I’m a little surprised she didn’t offer it to Tomas.” Tomas is part of Ragnar’s spy network already.
“She asked. He declined. He’s retiring after Astrid’s coronation.”
“What? Why?”
“Not a clue,” Saber shrugs. “Maybe he got tired of politics. Speaking of politics, I have a rare free morning. Want to spend it together?”
My eyes sparkle. “Are you trying to get me naked?”
He grins. “Always. But I had something else in mind this morning. Want to see the Sky Garden
s?”
Saber’s wanted to show me the Sky Gardens of Starra for more than three weeks. We’ve just never had the time. Our lives have been too chaotic, too tumultuous.
And now, it’s calming down, and we’ll have time for other things. Dinners together. Nights out. Drinking slenti and watching the holo-shows. Normalcy.
I’m really looking forward to it.
I jump to my feet. “That sounds amazing.”
My desire for normalcy has to wait. The next few weeks are insanely busy. We have to distribute the antiviral drug to the eighty thousand humans from the Deeps. They already mistrust the authorities, and honestly, I don’t blame them. Needless to say, a bunch of vampires showing up with needles in their hands does not inspire a lot of confidence. Especially once the first few humans we pick scream in agony as the virus claws its way out of their systems.
What sounded like a simple task becomes three brutally hard days of strapping people down to stretchers and forcefully administering the antiviral drugs. Astrid pays compensation to each prisoner for their unlawful imprisonment, and that helps somewhat, but compensation or not, we’re not popular. I understand the hostility, but that doesn’t mean I like it. Hala shrugs philosophically. “They’ll come around,” she says. “Ragnar’s talked Astrid into pouring a lot of money into the Deeps to make it a safer place to live. Things will start getting better soon.”
Dr. Karling supervises the synthesis of vast quantities of the vaccine. We don’t have to talk the vampires into getting vaccinated. Vids have emerged of the virus being injected into a corpse. Vampires line up by the thousands and get their shots.
The formulation of the vaccine is widely disseminated through the Empire. Every Overlord in the Empire is given his or her orders. They have a month to ensure that every vampire on their planet is vaccinated.
Mazer and Nero go door to door in the Deeps, making sure everyone’s vaccinated. At the same time, Mazer starts making lists of infrastructure projects to tackle after the coronation. I resume my self-defense lessons, and of course, I still meet with Kaleb Nedwa every other day.
Before I know it, three weeks have passed.
I don’t hear from Ragnar at all. At the start, I’m convinced he’ll change his mind about being in a relationship. The threat from Levitan is behind us, after all. But as the days trickle by, I begin to lose hope.
We see each other at an endless string of balls and parties. He always greets me with impeccable courtesy. His eyes follow me, and I know he wants me. But he doesn’t make a move. He’s still holding himself apart.
It’s incredibly dispiriting.
I do my best to hide the way I feel from my vampires, but I don’t succeed. Saber, Nero, and Zeke spend several days giving me worried glances. Then, finally, they corner me at breakfast. “Ragnar is a fucking idiot,” Nero says bluntly. “Forget him.”
“Do you want me to punch him for you?” Zeke demands. “I’m more than happy to.”
The idea of mild-mannered Zeke punching Ragnar makes me grin. “I’m fine, really.”
“You’re not fine.” Saber’s expression is troubled, and when I see his face, guilt sloshes through my insides.
I’m being ridiculous. This crazy obsession with Ragnar needs to stop. I’m the luckiest person in the galaxy—three gorgeous vampires are in love with me, and I’m in love with them. I need to stop dwelling on what I can’t have and focus on the good things in my life. Like Zeke, Nero, and Saber.
“I have an idea,” Saber continues. “Why don’t we go away for a week? Corvallis is only a few hours away. Perfect weather, beaches as far as the eye can see, and, as a bonus, it’s a red sun planet, so we can actually go out during the day without burning. Even better, we’ll be entirely out of reach. There’s a solar flare going on. Our comms won’t work.”
Ooh. “No comms?” The damn things buzz all the time. Someone always wants my vampires. We’d been in the middle of sex yesterday when all three of their comms had gone off at the same time.
“Nope.” Nero’s expression. “Say yes, Raven. Come to Corvallis for a week. I want to bond with you, kära. Let us love you, and let us drink from you.”
One day, the heartache will fade. One day, I’ll look at Ragnar and wonder what I ever saw in him.
No, you won’t.
There’s a pang in my chest. I push it away and smile at Nero, Zeke, and Saber. The past doesn’t matter. It’s the future that’s important, and mine looks pretty damn amazing. “I want you to drink from me too, I want to drink from you. I want the bond.” I smile at the three of them. “I’ve never been to a beach. A vacation sounds amazing. When can we leave?”
30
Ragnar
“Why aren’t you on Corvallis?” Astrid stares at me as if I’m the biggest idiot in the Empire. Maybe I am.
I can’t stop thinking about Raven. Floating across the ice on Boarus 4. Offering me her blood with a sly smile on Anataras 7, knowing it would kill me. Turning away from me on Gao 69P, anger flaring hot in her eyes because I took her for granted.
Her body softening with need in the garden. Her eyes clouded with desire. Her cheeks, flushed with lust. Her soft lips, parted for me.
“Going public about Mazer anytime soon?” She doesn’t reply. My lips tighten. “Exactly.”
She stares at me for a long time. “When I was a little girl,” she says softly, “I used to think that my big brother was scared of nothing. That he was the bravest person in the entire galaxy. I wanted to be as strong as him.”
I lean forward and bite out each word with clinical precision. “I haven’t slept in my bedroom since I got back to Starra. When I look at my bed, it’s not Nasrim I see there.” My voice is savage. “It’s Raven. You want me to throw her into the shark-infested waters of my life?”
She doesn’t relent in the face of my anger. “I think that if you stop being such a coward, you’ll realize that she’s perfectly capable of swimming. Stop underestimating her, and take a long, hard look at what she did, Ragnar. She’s never been to Starra, yet she went into the Deeps every single day. She talked to people, really talked to them the way that you and I are incapable of. She found Vincent Kevis. She did as much as anyone could ask of her, and more.”
“I don’t underestimate her.” They all think I doubt Raven’s strength. They’re all so wrong. It’s not her strength I’m worried about. It’s mine. “I couldn’t keep Nasrim safe. I couldn’t protect Family Leyva. How can I be trusted with Raven?”
“You pulled your best assassin off the search for Levitan and told her to watch Raven’s back.”
“Mazer told you that, did he? Remind me to have another conversation with my chief of staff about confidentiality.”
“Don’t be an idiot. It’s impossible to worm out anything out of that man. Kaleb Nedwa did.” She fixes her grey eyes on me. “Diana asked for Hala once. You remember what you told her?”
“The circumstances were different.”
“Bullshit. Three security teams, shadowing her around the clock. From the moment she set foot on the capital, you’ve surrounded her with the best protection in the Empire. Even I’m not as well protected.” She exhales. “They haven’t bonded yet, the four of them.”
“Saber told me they would do it on Corvallis.”
“Again, why aren’t you there?”
The adrenaline drains away. I get to my feet. I’m tired, and I don’t have the energy to sit here and squabble with my sister. “I have a date with a bottle of slenti. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I head downstairs. The door to my bedroom is shut. Locked. Somebody—probably Mazer—has stripped out all the furniture from it. The walls have been refinished. The bed, burned. And still, more than a month after I found Nasrim there, I can’t bring myself to open the door.
It’s a fucking pity Kevis blew himself up. I’d have liked to torture him. Slowly, painfully. Letting him recover between each round. Dragging it out for days, until the only memory he had left was that of pain.
/>
When I first met you, I thought you were terrifyingly competent. Now, I know the truth. You’re not really that competent. Your team is. People like Mazer and Tomas. Without them, you’d be quite ordinary.
She’d made me laugh that night. I’d been drowning, and she’d stayed with me. She’d teased me, and she’d challenged me, amusement dancing in her eyes. She’d pulled me back to shore. To safety.
I cross over to the bar and consider the bottle of slenti there. The alcohol doesn’t have much effect on vampires. If I want to get punch-drunk tonight, I’ll need to mix in blood.
My imagination throws up an image of Raven lying in bed, naked, her eyes shining with desire. Saber, Zeke, and Nero move toward her, their fangs extended. They bite down, and her blood flows out, alluring, singing its siren call and wiping all thought from my mind.
I want to be there with them. I want it with painful intensity. I’ve never wanted a bô as much as I do at this moment. My need fills me and threatens to overflow.
Slenti alone isn’t going to be enough.
The data stick Nero gave me is on the table. I’ve been avoiding looking at its contents. I’m busy, I’ve told myself. I already know the gist of what she went through. I don’t need to watch her being tortured to know it happened.
I’ve run out of lies to tell myself.
I reach for the stick. I’m armed with a bottle of slenti. Tonight, I’m going to make myself watch.
Three hours later, I sit in the dark, sick to my stomach. Nero was right.
Raven went through hell, and she walked out the other side, and the entire time, she never lost her humanity. The question to ask isn’t if I can keep her safe. The real question is if I’m worthy of trying.
Resolve hardens my spine. She might reject me—I’ve certainly jerked her around enough—but I’m going to try.
