The doctor removed his surgical cap and addressed her parents. I stood behind them, hanging on his every word. “Your daughter’s a fighter. She’s banged up pretty bad, but I think she’ll be okay.”
“Oh, thank God.” Sandra’s mother sank into her husband’s arms and wept.
“There’s some internal bleeding, which we have under control, but we’ll have to keep a close eye on it. She’s got a few broken ribs, a broken leg, and a fracture in her skull. Right now it looks as though she only has a concussion, but we need to keep her under observation and continue to watch for any swelling in her brain. She’s not out of the woods just yet, but I’m confident she’ll be okay. You can see her as soon as she’s awake.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Sandra’s dad shook the doctor’s hand, still cradling his wife. He looked like he’d aged a lifetime in these last few hours.
When she woke, I wasn’t sure I was ready to see her. I sat with bated breath as Sandra’s parents took the time they needed with her. Part of me was afraid she’d still look the same as when I’d left her—broken and bloodied, blank and lifeless emerald eyes staring at me.
Suddenly, I realized I’d never let Jessie and Jace know what was going on. I sent a quick text to each, letting them know what happened and that she was going to be all right.
“Eva, sweetie. She’s asking for you.” Sandra’s mother’s voice broke me from my thoughts. At my hesitation, she placed her hand on my shoulder. “I was nervous too, but she’s okay. Do you want me to go with you?”
“I’ll take her, Mrs. Neis.” Blake placed his hand on my knee and smiled up at her.
She smiled weakly. “Go ahead. She’ll be happy to see you both. Oh, and Eva . . .”
“Yes, Mrs. Neis?”
Her eyes glistened with new tears. “Thank you for taking care of my baby.”
“I didn’t do anything.” I looked down at my lap, fighting the urge to bawl.
“You did more than you know, honey. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She patted my hand. “Now, go see your friend.”
Number 216.
I stood at her door, staring down at my toes flush against the seam of the threshold, my hands knotted around the door frame. Blake plucked my fingers free and laced them with his. “Go on in, baby. She’s waiting for you.”
One step in front of the other. That’s what I focused on. Not the drab white walls, the green curtains or the beeping.
And there she was. A mess of a person, taped up with bandages and casts, laced with wires, and surrounded by machines, and somehow smiling.
“Eva,” she rasped, reaching a weak arm out to me.
“Oh, Sandra.” I ran to her side and scooped her hand in my own. “Are you okay?” Such a stupid question. Of course she wasn’t.
“I’m okay.” She gave my hand a small squeeze and looked up at Blake. “Hi, Blake.” She smiled, bashful.
“Hey, sweetie. You gave us quite a scare there. How you holding up?” He patted the hand I held.
Her eyes rolled a bit as she tried to focus on him. “Like stir-fried shit, but it could’ve been worse. I could be feeling nothing right now.” We all fell silent, unsure of how to respond to that. “Besides, things were getting boring. Figured I’d liven them up a bit.” She offered a slight smile and we chuckled at the unexpectedness of her statement. Sandra winced, drawing her arms inward to cover her broken ribs. “Remind me not to do that again for a long time.”
“Is there anything you need?” Blake offered.
Her head feebly rolled back and forth. “No, thank you.”
I turned to Blake. “Mind if I have some alone time with her?”
“You sure you’ll be okay now?”
“Yeah.” I gave him a small, appreciative smile. “Thanks so much for everything. You always seem to be rescuing me.”
“I’m just glad you’re both all right.” He glanced down at Sandra, who was starting to drift off. “Call me if you need anything. Anything at all. Doesn’t matter what time it is. And try to get some rest, young lady. Don’t overdo it.”
She smiled weakly. “Thanks, Blake.”
He patted her leg and placed a kiss on top of my head before walking out of the room.
I turned my attention back to Sandra. “You sure you’re okay? You look like you hurt all over.” My eyes searched her body, taking count of all her injuries, and I couldn’t help my frown.
“I’ll be fine.” She looked as though she was fighting fading off.
“I’m so sorry, San. So sorry. I don’t know what happened. I froze. I should’ve stopped it and I didn’t.”
She blinked, her eyelids heavy. “Stop that . . . couldn’t do anything . . . I was there . . . not your fault.”
“I know that, but—”
“But nothing. You did everything you could. I might be dead if it weren’t for you.”
“But look at you . . .”
That must have struck a nerve because her eyes popped open and she replied with more force than I thought she was capable of. “Yes, look at me. I’m alive and I’ll heal.” She winced at her effort.
“But you could’ve been . . . you could’ve—”
“Died?” She relaxed again, covering her throat. “Can I have those ice chips?”
I grabbed the pink container and slipped a couple pieces onto her tongue.
She rolled them around, and swallowed the water. “I know how close I came. But now we get to live, right? Every day like it’s our last.”
I closed my mouth, unsure of how to respond, but she continued, “Eva, you let your life slip by every day and I can’t stand it. I’m actually grateful for what happened today because it opened my eyes.” She covered my hand with her own. “Just find what makes you happy. Don’t wait till it’s too late.” She smiled weakly and I looked away, ashamed.
Had I been that obvious? Clearing my throat, I looked back at her. “You should get some rest.” I kissed her on top of her head and she cringed again. “Sorry.”
“It’s all good . . . just glad you’re here with me.” She sank deeper into the pillows.
“I’ll be right here.” I covered her hand with my own.
Her eyes got heavy and her head lagged to the side. “Think about what I said.” As Sandra drifted off, she said one more thing, her whisper barely audible, “You gotta live, Eva. You haven’t been.”
I leaned back in my chair and stared at her. I’d almost lost her. Hell, I’d almost lost me! It could have easily been me standing in the path of that car. I mashed my forehead into the off-white waffle blanket that covered Sandra’s body and listened to the monotonous beeping that filled the room.
Flashing back to this morning, our conversation played in my mind on an endless loop. Everything she intended to do with her life. All of her ambitions. Her dreams. Nearly shattered in a split second of time. Just like that, it all could have been over.
I groaned into the blanket when I pictured myself lying there. Cold on the concrete. Unmoving. “I don’t want to die.” The words stumbled out of my mouth as quickly as I’d thought them, but there was no one to hear them but me, as usual. Always alone.
The enormity of what could have happened came crashing down around me like a ton of bricks, rocking my world on its axis. Everything I thought I had figured out no longer made any sense. In that one moment, I knew everything could be ripped from you in the blink of an eye. Your life—over.
Life.
I needed mine back. Needed what was taken from me all those years ago when I was still just a kid.
And I needed him—Blake.
I’d fought it tooth and nail. Fought it with everything I had. But he was it. I needed to live before my time on this earth was ripped out from under me as well. Enjoy what was important and pay attention to the fact I was still alive.
It was time to take Blake’s advice. No regrets. I wanted to love the things I loved again. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to do this life and not look back and I didn’t want to die without ever
really living.
Through my veil of tears, I watched the cloudiness that hazed my mind flake away into particles in the air. What stood behind it was the most adoring and understanding face I’d ever seen staring at me.
Waiting.
Always waiting.
A smile spread across my face while water still streamed from my eyes.
Live. I’m going to live.
The air was so foggy, I thought I must have been walking through a cloud, but I couldn’t walk quickly enough. My brain was whirling so swiftly, my feet scrambled to keep up. Night came fast and my body was physically and emotionally drained, but something stronger drove me, propelling me forward. I seemed to be functioning on overdrive.
Just a little further.
With a frantic smile, I waved to the doorman as I ran past. I jammed my finger on the elevator button five times as if that would make it come quicker. My legs were restless while I stared at those metal slats, waiting for them to part—up to the illuminated numbers—back to the slats.
Fuck this.
Unable to stand the jitters any longer, I veered to the left and slammed the door open, taking the steps two at a time. Short of breath, I reached my destination, and pounded my fist against the door in a frantic rhythm.
Be home. Be home. Be home.
A minute later, the last barrier swung open, and there he stood in all his gloriousness. His eyebrows pulled together as he looked me over, propping the door open with his leg. “Angel? Everything okay?”
I couldn’t speak. I remained in Blake’s entryway, chest heaving, trying to calm my heart as my eyes raked his entire body. His muscles bulged from beneath my favorite black V-neck and he was wearing faded jeans, tattered in all the right places. I bit my lip as my gaze fell to his bare, sexy-as-hell feet, and I was done for.
My eyes darted back up to meet his, and I placed my hand to the center of his chest, moving him inside his cushy apartment.
Backing up slowly, the confusion on his face was adorable. “What’s going on?”
I pushed him down on the brown leather couch and sat on his lap.
His frown deepened. “Angel? You’re freaking me out. Say something, please?”
“Today was crazy, right?” I huffed out.
“Yes . . .” he drew out the word as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hated that I always had him so on edge.
“It just got me thinking, ya know? How quickly it can all be over.” I looked up into his gorgeous blue irises and felt myself sink into them, getting lost. I continued before I lost the nerve. “I don’t want to die.”
“Hey, what’s that talk?” He sat up straighter, his eyebrows pulling in.
“It could’ve just as easily been me, Blake. And I don’t want to die.” Panic rose in my voice with every octave.
His expression softened, and he smoothed a tuft of hair behind my ear. “Stop that. You can’t think like this. What happened to Sandra was a freak accident. There’s no controlling things like that, sweetheart. But you’re not going anywhere, any time soon.”
My eyes welled up as I took a deep breath. “Okay,” I stated simply.
“Huh? What’s okay? What’d I miss?” His eyebrows knitted together.
I reached one finger up to the space in between them to smooth away the creases. Shifting, I sat up a little straighter and looked at him with determination. “Okay, okay.”
All the confusion slowly faded from his features, the taut, drawn-in lines relaxing as his eyes searched mine. He looked scared to death. Scared to let himself believe I was actually saying the words. Scared of the let down if I wasn’t. He took my face between his hands. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “I don’t want to fight it anymore. I don’t have the strength to deny it—to deny us anymore.” I lowered my voice and looked down in my lap, fidgeting with my fingers. “Just . . . be careful with me. Please. All I’ve ever known of this is pain.” I gulped before I added, “Make me forget.”
He swiped the pad of his thumb under my eye, brushing away an errant tear. “I’ll never hurt you, Angel. You’re safe with me. I promise.”
I scrambled into his arms, hooking my leg over the other side of him to straddle his lap. “You’re too good to be true. It scares the shit out of me.” I nuzzled into his neck.
“I’m not as good as you’d like to believe I am,” he repeated what I’d said to him, a smirk in his voice.
“Oh, bullshit.” I swatted his shoulder playfully, looking at him through glassy eyes. “So are we really doing this?”
“I’m all in if you are. I’ve been waiting to hear those words since the day I met you. I just want you to be sure. I don’t think I could take it if you woke up in a day or two and changed your mind.”
“No, I want this. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. It’s you I’m worried about. Running away once you realize what you’re dealing with.” My posture slackened and the corner of my mouth pulled in. I felt so vulnerable voicing my insecurities.
“I’m well aware of what I’m dealing with. I told you that. And I don’t scare easy. Bring it.”
A light giggle escaped me. “You’re gonna get sick of me sometime.”
He laughed into my hair. “Well, it’s not today. Tomorrow’s not lookin’ so good either.”
I threw my head back, keeping my hands on his shoulders, and let out a full belly laugh. He laughed along with me and curled forward, nuzzling his face in my neck. Little by little our laughs dissipated and, when I sat upright, I noticed the shade of his eyes was slightly darker.
I dragged my bottom lip between my teeth and bit down, cocking my head to the side. “You really are kind of beautiful.” There really was no other word.
“Beautiful, huh?” His eyes twinkled as the corner of his mouth pulled up.
“Mm-hmm.” I bashfully traced a circular pattern over his chest with my finger.
“I’d say the same thing to you, but I don’t wanna chance you bolting.” He reached up and tugged a tendril of my hair.
I laughed and slapped his upper arm. “Ha-ha, wise guy.”
He flinched. “I’m serious. I always feel like you’re gonna disappear. You’re like a unicorn.”
I cocked my head to the side, scrunching my face. “A unicorn? I’m a horse with a horn?”
He let out a slight laugh and curled his arms around my waist. “Not a horse with a horn. A unicorn is a fabled creature, a myth. They’re impossible to catch. Didn’t you ever see Gone in Sixty Seconds, woman?” He looked at me in bewilderment, and I laughed.
“They’ve always kind of fascinated me. When I was younger, I thought if I looked hard enough that one day I’d find one. I guess I was right.” He winked at me and my heart fluttered. “I finally found my unicorn. That’s probably why I feel like I always need to keep my hands on you. I feel like one day I’ll turn around and you’ll be gone.” His eyes showed true signs of worry, like it was something that had kept him up at night.
I laced my fingers behind his neck and leaned my forehead against his. “Well, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t think I ever was. You can relax now.”
Without warning, he pulled back, his expression serious. “Say it, Angel.”
“Say what?”
“That you’re mine. I need to hear the words.” He cupped my face in his hands.
I took a deep breath and stared him right in the eyes so he knew how serious I really was. “I’m yours.”
His eyes flared to life. “Again.”
I licked my lips and brought my face a few inches closer to his. “I’m yours.”
His fingertips bit into my thighs as he rooted me deeper into his lap. The corner of his mouth tilted up and those gorgeous baby blues sparkled. The dimple I loved so much poked into the smooth skin at the side of his mouth. “One more time . . . so you never forget.”
Very cute. His study tactic. I leaned in and did what I’d wanted to do since I first saw it and
dipped my fingertip into that adorable little divot. Feathering my lips across his, I breathed against his mouth. “I’m. Yours.”
A growl rumbled low in his chest before reverberating into mine, and he sunk his fingers into my hair as his lips came crashing down. I dug my nails into the muscular flesh of his shoulders and scooted deeper into his lap, needing to be closer.
His tongue probed my mouth, and I parted my lips, inviting him in. I gulped down every last drop of his breath, panting and clawing at his back. This was nothing like the sweet, timid kisses we’d shared before. This was fervent, carnal. Months of pent up emotion and longing bled from each stroke of our hungry tongues. My senses were overloaded, every one of them blanketed in Blake. His taste, his smell, his touch, the look in his eyes, the sound of his moans, and the feeling of them hitting the back of my throat. My heart exploded, opening up to scoop him inside.
His hands left my hair and dropped to my hips. He slid them over the mound of my ass, then yanked the hem of my shirt into his fists. I raised my arms and he broke the kiss just long enough to pull my shirt off the rest of the way, sending my curls cascading in waves over my breasts.
His eyes widened as he took me in. The erratic pulse in his neck was visible, and his chest looked like his lungs were struggling for oxygen. “So fucking perfect.” He stared at me with a deep longing. His thumbs traced the round peaks beneath the thin silk of my bra, spreading warmth throughout my body. This was the first time I’d felt desire and need when being touched like this, rather than disgust and filth.
I wanted his hands on me. Around me. In me. The feelings were foreign, but I invited them in, welcoming them. I closed my eyes and allowed the sensations to take over, feeling every stroke lick through my body. It felt so fucking good, and I longed to feel good for a change.
My eyes dropped to the moisture glistening on his lips. I reached out with three fingers and pressed them there, knowing it was my saliva covering his mouth. I wished it could stay there forever, my mark on him. Show the world he was taken.
Live Me Page 22
