I laughed as Blake slammed his back against the seat, huffing and crossing his arms across his chest. I mouthed, ‘I love you’.
Blake sneered and nodded as if to say, ‘Yeah, okay’.
I shook my head, smiling. I loved having my two men with me. I just had to concentrate on holding onto this feeling for the next two days.
The warm and fuzzy feeling was gone already. I had dropped off Jace and now stood, holding Blake’s hand and staring at the white, custom colonial, two-story home that had housed both the best and worst memories of my life. Large windows overlooked the front lawn, and a quaint porch accentuated the large house.
Fuck.
“You okay, babe? You don’t look so good.” Blake put the back of his hand to my forehead.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.” I chugged a bottle of water and gave him a smile.
“If you say so.”
He bent to retrieve our bags, then we started up the drive. I focused on the swing that held so many happy times. This was my home. My home. Not his. I squared my shoulders. I had my rock by my side. My boulder. I could do this.
Fuck. Him.
With a smile, I fisted the doorknob, hearing the Christmas music blasting on the other side. Knowing my trusting family would leave it unlocked, I twisted it and we waltzed right in. Garlic and clams and all things Christmas Eve curled through the air, and my heart constricted, missing the warmth of my family. An extreme homesick feeling slammed me in the chest like a bag of bricks.
My dad rested on the couch, his feet propped on the coffee table, catching flies as he snored. Smiling, I walked over and patted his arm, jolting him awake.
“Hey, ladybug.” He jumped up and pulled me in for a bear hug.
“Hi, Daddy. I missed you.” I squeezed back, enjoying the familiar scent of Old Spice.
“How’s my baby girl? Let me look at you.” He held both of my hands in his own and inspected me. “You’re too thin. Your mother needs to put a little meat on your bones before you leave.”
I waved him off. “Stop it, I am not.”
My dad looked to my left. “So who’s the mountain?”
Blake laughed and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Ricci. I’m Blake.”
My dad shook Blake’s hand. “One sec. Let me lower this.” He turned the music down and then focused back on Blake. “So you’re a lawyer, I hear?”
“No, not yet. That’s the plan, though,” he said on a nervous chuckle.
“Yeah, well, don’t let ’em steal your soul. From what Eva tells us, you have a good one.” He clapped Blake on the back.
Blake’s smile faltered, no doubt realizing how different my dad’s outlook was from his own. “No, sir, I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Cut the ‘sir’ crap. This ain’t England, and I’m not Paul. Although, I wish I was. Ba-da-ba.” My dad made drum motions with his hands. “Just call me Joe so I don’t twitch. My father was Mr. Ricci.”
“Will do.” Blake nodded, and my heart warmed at their easy exchange. I wondered what I’d been so nervous about and how I’d let myself go so long without seeing my family.
“Come on. You gotta meet the woman behind all the magic.” I grabbed one of Blake’s hands in both of mine and walked backward, pulling him into the kitchen.
My mom was standing in her bare feet, her blonde ponytail extending the full length of her back. All burners were on high alert, and steam climbed up to the ceiling as she stirred a pot, She looked over her shoulder.
“You made it!”
Putting the spoon in its rest, she rushed over to pull me close. “I missed you so much. I can’t believe you didn’t come home for Thanksgiving.” She pulled back from me and frowned. “You’re too skinny.”
“Not you, too,” I whined. “I’m just fine. No wonder I was never able to lose weight in this house.” I popped a mini quiche into my mouth.
“Yeah, well, no diets today. I’m making your plate.” She redirected her attention to Blake. “Whoa, get a load of you. Eva, did you bring a tree home for dinner? I think I better get more food started.”
“Stop it, Mom.” I laughed.
Blake blushed and stepped forward. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Ricci. I’m Blake. Everything smells delicious but trust me, it’s enough. I’ll control myself.”
“Please don’t.” She grinned. “No one holds back in my kitchen. I’ll be insulted if you don’t leave here rounder than when you came in, and with a doggy bag. And it’s Connie, please. Now give me a hug. I can’t believe my Eva’s in love.” She held her arms open.
“Don’t make a spectacle, please,” I spoke through my smile.
“How could I not? You’re the first one. Did she tell you that?”
“Mom,” I warned.
“Abby told me he was good looking, but man, you’re like a model.” She gleamed.
Blake’s cheeks reddened even further.
“Okay, Mom. We’re gonna go get settled while you calm yourself.” I turned to Blake. “Hurry up before she makes a move on you or something. I think she’s lost it.” I chuckled at his rare loss for words.
I cracked open the door to my bedroom. It was just the way I’d left it, decorated in different hues of purple—my favorite color, with pictures lining the walls and dresser, displaying happy moments from my past. A small desk sat in the corner. I smiled as I looked at the knob I knew was loose on the drawer where I’d kept my journal all those years. Instinctively, my eyes drifted to Mary’s vacant place next to the bed. I hadn’t felt the need to bring her with me, knowing Blake would be here.
I dropped my bag on the comforter. “Told you they’d love you.” I rocked to the side, nudging Blake’s shoulder.
“They’re awesome. This is like a real home. A real family.” Blake placed his bag next to mine and looked away with a half-smile, seeming far away.
“Hey, don’t do that. Your family’s great and they love you. There are people who don’t even have that. Besides, you’re my family now, too.” I smiled, tucking my head beneath his so he’d focus on me.
Blake wrapped his arms around my neck and put his lips to the top of my head, breathing into my hair. “I don’t know what I’d do without you anymore.”
“Thankfully you’ll never have to find out.” I poked the tickle spot on his side, and he jarred to the left.
“You think you’re funny?” Blake hooked his forearm around my neck and gave me a noogie.
“Stop it, you bully!” I pushed against his ribs as he dragged me down the hall.
The front door flew open, and we stopped in our tracks as Abby and Damon hobbled in, balancing piles of gifts. My heart flatlined as a bundle of nerves slammed into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me.
Abby poked her head around her stack. “Hey, you guys. Merry Christmas Eve!”
Blake released his grip, and I straightened, smoothing my hair. “Hey, I didn’t think you’d be back yet.”
“Are you kidding? I never get to see you. We finished up at Damon’s house as quick as we could.”
With a huff, she dropped her pile and hurried to us, scooping me into her arms. “Hi. I missed you.”
“Missed you more,” I said, looking past her to Damon, who was placing his stack beside hers. My mom’s hors d’oeuvres teetered at the back of my throat.
Abby hugged Blake. “Nice to see you again. I’m sober this time, I promise. Well, for now anyway.”
“Nice to know.” Blake winked.
While they chatted, Damon rolled up from the floor, his pointed glare nailing me to the ground. Prickles covered the back of my neck as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. He brought his hands together in a loud clap, and I jumped, the malice in his face seeping from every pore. I should have known he’d mess with me for bringing someone home. Rubbing his palms, his lip curled back over his teeth in disdain.
“Let’s meet the guy Eva finally decided was good enough for her, shall we?” He dragged his condescending eyes away from mine. They widened as they lande
d on Blake. “Holy shit. Blake?”
“Hey, dude. What the hell?” Blake stepped in, giving him a pound.
Damon’s eyes twinkled with delight. The corner of his mouth twitched into a smile. He looked like he’d just set up his checkmate pawn. “What a small world. You got the other sister, I see.”
“You two kn-now each other?” My nervous tongue stuttered.
Damon turned his triumphant smile on me. “Sure do. We grew up in the Hamptons together. Our parents run in the same crowd.”
Whatever kept my body functioning seemed to stop, except for the loud thumping of my heartbeat in my ears. How can this be happening?
“Wait, really?” Abby exclaimed. “How did I never meet you? Eva, this is like kismet.” She beamed.
My insides rolled over and flopped again. A coolness raced up my lower spine and the room had begun a slow spin. Air. I need air.
Blake’s voice sounded distant in the haze of my mind. “I can’t believe this. You’re going to have to tell me some Angel stories, man.” His dimple sat deep in his cheek and he didn’t seem to notice anything was amiss. He placed his hand on the small of my back, and I twisted my sweaty palms together.
“Angel?” Damon cocked his head to the side.
“Right. I always forget that’s not her real name. Eva.” Blake kissed my forehead, and I offered a weak smile.
“Oh, I have plenty to tell about Angel. Isn’t that right, beautiful?”
Blake’s fingers dug into my side, and he looked down at me for a reaction. He knew my trigger word, and I was scared he would put the pieces together.
The dryness in my mouth and buzzing in my head made it impossible to speak. A heat settled in my core as I struggled to find my voice. “Would you excuse me, please?”
I broke away from Blake. He looked to Damon, who still had a broad smile, and then back to me, his eyebrows knitted together.
“Can I get you a drink?” I asked Blake in the calmest voice I could find, giving myself a reason to leave the room.
“A glass of red is fine, thanks,” Blake answered, but I could tell by his concentrated look that his mind was somewhere other than his response.
I turned to leave, and he caught my arm. “Hey, you okay, babe?”
“Me? Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” I pulled my arm away so he wouldn’t feel my trembles.
“You’re a little pale.”
I waved him off. “Jace’s eggnog caught up with me, I guess. That kid and his heavy hand.” I smiled. “I just need some water.”
I glanced over Blake’s shoulder into dark brown eyes atop a sneer. At one time, I’d considered Damon a good looking guy. Brown spiky hair and a boyishly handsome face topped off a built upper body. You could tell he was a country club kid, born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Coming from the neighborhood we lived in, it was no secret we were all well off, but he wore it on his sleeve along with his designer emblems.
He’d been the sweet boy next door growing up. Always hanging around, flirting with Abby from the second puberty hit. I’d like to go back and smack myself for secretly being jealous at the time. I used to love to tag along and get in the middle of them, busting their chops. Even though I was sure it annoyed them, they were always cool with it and let me believe I was part of their clique. I trusted him—with everything.
But the eyes I saw now . . .
Those weren’t the eyes of that boy. I hadn’t seen him in years.
“I’ll be right back.” I took off for the bathroom.
You can’t leave them alone. I know. Shh, let me think.
I closed my eyes, rubbing circles over my temples. They fucking know each other. What kind of personal hell is this?
I dug my nails into my palms, bull breathing. Shaking out my hands at my sides, I tried to pull it together. If Blake found out, I’d lose everything. No matter what he thought, he wouldn’t be able to get past what I’d done. Kid or not, no one with decent morals would do that. And now, knowing the way Damon could manipulate the truth, I’d be done for if he ever got to his ear.
Slamming my back to the door, I fisted the hair at my temples and stared across the confined space into the mirror. Own your decision.
I stood up straighter.
Don’t let him win again. He took enough. He can’t take Blake, too. You decided to be with him, now go be with him. If he sees you falter, he’ll know and Damon will be in control. Again.
I splashed water on my face and took ten deep breaths. I couldn’t leave them alone too long, but I didn’t think he’d risk saying anything in front of Abby. Still, I wasn’t taking any chances. Bellowing laughter smacked me in the face when I opened the door.
My eye twitched.
They liked each other.
Another fissure down my heart, but I pushed on and ignored it. I filled a glass of wine for both Blake and myself, put on my big girl panties, and sauntered into the living room. I handed Blake his drink and tucked my hand into the rear pocket of his faded jeans. Damon stared at the action and swallowed visibly, no doubt choking on whatever snide remark he wanted to make.
“Ohhh.” Blake wiggled his ass against my palm, and I squeezed playfully.
Abby whispered something in Damon’s ear. He absentmindedly answered, “Sure, babe.” Still staring in the area of my hand. “Don’t you girls think you should be in the kitchen helping your mother?” he added.
Blake looked at him, evaluating his sexist remark, and then to me for my reaction. “I can give you guys a hand, too.”
My dad walked in the room. “You’re not going anywhere. I have a CD of the new band. Wanna hear it?”
“Sure,” Blake replied. “How is it you’re in a band, yet we have to twist Eva’s arm out of its socket to get her to sing?”
“Don’t get me started. That girl will only sing in her room, her car, or the shower. I’ve been trying since she was eight years old. I gave up.” My dad knelt in front of the CD player and popped in the disc. He stood, bopping his head as the harmony of the two front singers began.
Feeling more comfortable, I nodded to Abby. “C’mon.” I went up on my tip toes and kissed Blake’s cheek. “We’ll be back.”
Before we reached the kitchen, Abby pulled me aside. “I need to talk to you.”
“What’s up?”
She bit down on her lip and picked at her nails.
“Abby?”
“It’s Eric.”
“What about Eric?” I asked, confused.
She dropped her hands. “I can’t stop thinking about him.”
A smile tugged at my lips, but I cleared my throat and replaced it with my ‘concerned’ face. “What’re you going to do about it?”
Abby stared at me as though I had grown a second head. “Seriously? I can’t do anything about it. You know that. I just don’t know how to stop it. And seeing Blake just made it one hundred times worse,” she said in a harsh whisper.
I tried to tamp down the happy dance going on inside of me. “Well, maybe there’s a reason you don’t know how to stop it.”
“Not this again,” she groaned, leaning against the wall outside the kitchen.
“You wanted to talk about it. It’s not my fault you don’t like my answer.” I exhaled. “If you’re not going to do anything about it, then what’s there to talk about?” I pressed gently, trying to plant the idea of a different future in her head without being too conspicuous.
“I’m treating Damon differently, and I think he’s noticing. It’s not good, and I’m scared I’ll fold and tell him.”
My heart raced. I knew a different side of Damon. I wasn’t sure what he’d do if he ever knew the truth, and I couldn’t let Abby do anything that would jeopardize him hurting her. Any lightheartedness I was feeling at the prospect of her leaving Damon washed out of me and I suddenly became serious. “Try not to think about it. Maybe if you can convince yourself it never happened, you’ll believe it and not act different anymore. I mean, if you don’t plan on doing anything about it, what�
�s the difference?” I shrugged.
“That’s your advice? The guy’s a freaking masterpiece, consuming my every thought, and you think I can just convince myself it never happened?”
“What other choice do you have?” I was agitated and just wanting to end the discussion. “It’s that or break up with Damon and explore your options, but you can’t let him know you cheated. Who knows what he’ll do?” I couldn’t hide the panic in my voice.
She blinked at me then, no doubt wondering why I just said that. “I’m not scared he’d do anything. He’s not like that. I’m scared I’ll be making the wrong decision, and then I’ll be screwed.”
He’s not like that? She didn’t even know him, and she’d been with him for years. A bitter pit formed in my stomach.
Abby’s eyes flared. “What if I saw him one more time? To see if I still feel the same. Maybe it was just the alcohol. Then I can put my mind to rest.”
My body stiffened. “I don’t know, Abby.” Is she insane?
“Well, what else am I gonna do?” she whined.
“For right this minute, you’re going to ignore it,” I ordered. “Go help Mom with the kitchen and then go spend Christmas with your boyfriend. Are you trying to give me anxiety? He’s right. In. There.” I shoved my pointer finger down the hall.
“Okay. Okay.” She gave me a pointed look. “But we’re not finished with this.”
“Whatever. Come on, lunatic.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen.
“There you two are. Could use a little help here.” My mom balanced a tray between her potholder-clad hands. “Grab a hot plate, would you?”
I dropped the piece of ceramic in front of her as she lowered the dish and shook out her hands. “We’re basically ready. Better bring this stuff out before your boyfriends run for the hills. Daddy loves when he has an audience.”
We set the table and yelled to the guys to come eat. I stood behind my chair, my palms tight around the top of it as I waited for everyone to take their seats. The guys came through the archway, laughing as my dad snapped his fingers, still singing the newest song his band had learned.
Live Me Page 34
