The Backwoods

by Edward Lee

“I hope so. . . .”

  Patricia could smell alcohol; whenever Judy got depressed, she drank, which only worsened matters. “Come on; you’re exhausted. Let’s get you up to bed.”

  Judy offered no objection. She trudged up the carpeted stairs, clinging to her sister. She’s lost weight, too, Patricia observed. She felt thin, bony. Patricia helped her down the dark hall, passing more framed pictures that should seem familiar but somehow didn’t. The house was too quiet, save for when floorboards creaked, then the keening hinge of the bedroom door.

  “I’m sorry I’m so out of it,” Judy finally said. “I shouldn’t have had that wine. I’m just so lonely now. . . . Doesn’t that sound pathetic?”

  “Of course it doesn’t. You’ve suffered a loss. It takes time to work through it. But what you need more than anything tonight is a good night’s sleep.”

  An exhausted nod. Patricia got Judy out of her housedress, then saw just how thin her sister had grown in her despair. Her ribs showed beneath the bra. She looked like she’d lost a cup size, too. She also had tears in her eyes. This is going to take a while, Patricia realized. She’s failling apart. She got her into bed and under the covers, then sat down beside her and held her hand. “You want me to get you something, some warm milk, water?”

  Judy looked back at her very wanly, but she finally managed a smile. “No, I’m fine now that you’re here. I guess I’m not dealing well with being alone.”

  You never did. “But where’s Ernie?” Patricia asked after the family yardman and housekeeper. “Don’t tell me he’s not working for you anymore. I can’t imagine him anywhere else.”

  “He just keeps the yard in order now. Dwayne never liked him, so since the wedding Ernie’s stayed outside, never does anything in the house anymore.”

  “Well, that can change now, can’t it? This is a big place, Judy. You can’t keep it up on the inside all by yourself, not with the crab company too.”

  “I know, and it will change.” The tired smile even brightened then. “But when I saw Ernie this morning, I told him to make sure the yard was cut, ‘cos I didn’t want it all shaggy for you comin’. You shoulda seen the way his face lit up when I told him you’d be comin’ back for a spell.”

  Patricia nearly blushed. Ernie Gooder had been her “boyfriend,” back in seventh grade. They’d stuck together like glue all through childhood, but as middle-school years faded—and her body ripened early—she’d lost interest in Ernie and potential sweetheart romances. Ernie was a tried-and-true local, would never think of leaving Agan’s Point, and, like most of the men in these rural areas, he was also a tried-and-true hayseed. He’d dropped out of school early to work his father’s farm and stagnate like so many who’d grown up here. They don’t know they can move somewhere else and make their lives better, she thought, but maybe she was being pretentious. There was nothing wrong with staying close to one’s roots and working the land, but it just seemed so shallow to Patricia, that or maybe she was just more adventuresome than everyone else. At any rate, Ernie’s crush on Patricia had never died, and he’d been disheartened when she’d left for college.

  “He’s still got that torch burnin’ for you,” Judy said. “And he’s still as handsome as ever.”

  “I’m sure he is,” Patricia played along, “but my husband’s still got all my bases covered.”

  “Oh, I know, and I’m so glad you’re happy with Byron. How is he, by the way?”

  “He’s fine . . . and you’re exhausted, so . . .” Patricia snapped off the bedside lamp. “You go to sleep, and we’ll have a big breakfast together in the morning.” She kissed her sister’s forehead, then stood back up. Judy wouldn’t let go of her hand.

  “Oh, Patricia,” came the whisper. “You don’t know how much it means to me that you come all this way to be with me.”

  “You’re my sister and I love you. Now go to sleep!”

  But Judy’s eyes kept staring up. “I-I never told you . . .”

  “Never told me what?”

  “How . . . Dwayne died.”

  “Of course you did.” Patricia bent the truth. Actually, her sister had never elaborated. “An accident, you said.”

  Judy’s voice piped up like a child’s. “His head was cut off, and nobody knows how it happened.”

  Patricia stood in a silent shock. She’s serious. . . . She had no idea what to say in response.

  “And the head was never found,” Judy groaned out the rest.

  Murder, not an accident. What condolence could she add now? But when Patricia looked again, Judy had already fallen asleep.

  My God . . .

  The windows stood open at the end of the hall, letting in the cicada sounds, and the house’s deep, old Colonial decor made her feel a thousand miles away from her condo in D.C. She stepped into her bedroom, felt odd at once, then backed out. Sleeping there would just remind her of more childhood memories, but she couldn’t stay in her parents’ old room, either—that would just be worse. One of the guest rooms downstairs, she decided, then drifted back down the stairs to go out and get her bags from the Caddy. The macabre distraction was sidetracking her: Dwayne’s head. Did she mean that somebody cut off Dwayne’s head?

  She stopped midway down the step. How the heck did—

  Her suitcases sat neatly stacked at the bottom of the steps.

  “Didn’t know where ya’d wanna be sleepin’. . . .”

  Ernie Gooder stepped from behind her baggage, looking up.

  “We was expectin’ ya much earlier,” he said next, “like about noon.” He glanced to the window. “Looks like ya barely beat sundown.”

  Patricia felt a shock: Judy wasn’t kidding. . . . Ernie had always been attractive: well contoured, strong arms, broad-backed. Dark eyes glittered in an appearance of youth that should’ve disappeared a decade ago. If anything he looked late twenties instead of mid-forties. The only difference, now, was his hair. For all the years she’d known him, Ernie had had a nearly military cut, but now he’d grown it out shoulder-length. When she finally found words, she blurted, “Your hair!”

  He looked sheepish. “Yeah, I growed it out fer the hell of it; now everybody likes it, so I guess it’s here to stay.”

  She came down the stairs and gave him a hug. “Ernie, did you find the fountain of youth somewhere out in the woods?”

  “Huh?”

  “You look the same as you did years ago. You look great.”

  The remark embarrassed him; he almost blushed. “Aw, well, thanks, Patricia. You look really fantastic your own self. I like your hair shorter that way; ain’t never seen ya with it like that.”

  “It makes me look more like a lawyer, I guess.” Then she remembered his first comments. “And, yeah, I did plan on getting here this afternoon, but I wound up dillydallying. Had breakfast in Richmond, lunch in Norfolk. I burned the whole day driving around.”

  He seemed instantly uncomfortable. “Well, yeah, that sure is understandable—that you wouldn’t be in any hurry to get here. This old backwards town’s gotta remind ya of . . . well . . . you know.”

  His stilted compassion was sweet, the way he awkwardly talked around her obvious motive. Naturally she hadn’t been in any hurry to get back to the place that made for the worst memory of her life. It didn’t bother her, though, which seemed strange. Nor was she bothered by the obvious difficulty that Ernie was having in keeping his eyes from roaming her obviously braless bosom. He’d always had a thing for her. Always. The silliest thought occurred to her then: Maybe I subconsciously didn’t wear a bra because I knew it would rile Ernie up. . . .

  But that was ridiculous.

  If anything, his darting eyes flattered her, even caused her to want to tease him a little. No harm in that. The poor lug is probably still nuts about me.

  “So how’s yer, uh, yer husband?”

  “Oh, he’s fine, Ernie. He was going to come down with me but he’s busy with his job. What about you? You must be married by now.”

  More embarrassme
nt. “Aw, no, never did tie the knot with no one. One day maybe.” But as he spoke he kept looking down. Still as shy as ever, Patricia thought. Like a little boy.

  “Anyway, it’s good to see ya, Patricia,” he went on, shuffling his feet in place. “Well, not like this, a’ course, but . . . you know what I mean.”

  “Sure I do, Ernie. A funeral is always the worst occasion to see old friends.”

  “We all know you don’t like to come down to Agan’s Point much, but what’cha gotta know is that it really means a lot to Judy.”

  “She looks really shaken up,” Patricia said. “It’ll take time for her to jump back to normal.”

  “I hope she can jump back to normal.” Ernie shook his head. “She sure was crazy in love with Dwayne. No one could ever figure it out. Enough of that, though. You want me to put your bags in your old bedroom, or would ya rather—”

  “The guest room down here would be better, if that’s okay.”

  He seemed visibly enthused. “It’s bigger and catches the sunlight in the morning. Plus it’s right down the hall from my room, in case ya need anything.”

  No wonder . . . “It’ll be fine.”

  He picked up her bags and led her through the back of the house. 1 feel good all of a sudden—hell, I feel great, she admitted to herself. All day long during the drive, and even the first few minutes back in the house, a heavy oppression seemed to be hunting her. Now it was all gone. Maybe this trip won’t be as bad as I thought

  “Really bad about Dwayne,” Ernie made conversation.

  Patricia couldn’t take her eyes off the strong, tapered back as they moved on. “Oh, yes.”

  “He wasn’t a good man by any stretch, but no man deserves to die like that. I believe that ya get what’s comin’ to ya in this life. What goes around, comes around. But that? Jesus.”

  Patricia touched his arm, urging him to stop and turn. The contours of his silhouette opposed her, the strong legs in tight jeans, the bulging biceps. She frowned at herself. “I didn’t know the details until just now—she told me when I put her to bed. He was decapitated?”

  “Somebody cut his head clean off, I guess.”

  Strange way to say it. “You guess?”

  “That’s what Chief Sutter told Judy. Judy wasn’t up to seein’ the body, so he did it for her, for proper ID ‘n’ all. But there’s all this talk now.”

  “What kind of talk?”

  “Rumors about somethin’ really wrong about Dwayne’s body, and I mean . . . somethin’ more than just losin’ his head.”

  Patricia couldn’t imagine. What could be more wrong than losing your head? It was something she could look into, though. As a lawyer, she was an expert at expediting Freedom of Information Act requests. There must be a death certificate and an autopsy report. . . .

  “But that’s probably all it is when ya get right down to it—just talk. You know what this place is like. People got nothin’ better to do than run their mouths ’bout every little thing that ain’t their business.”

  One rumor generates more rumors, she knew too well, and at the end of the line there’s no truth left at all, just distortions . “It’s really odd, though, and Judy does have a right to know all the details concerning her husband’s death.”

  “I went down to the county morgue myself and tried to see the body, but it had already been cremated. Then I asked to see the autopsy report and they told me it was confidential,” Ernie said, pronouncing the last word confer-din-shul.

  We’ll see about that confidential part, Patricia vowed.

  The guest room was cozily decorated and large, with fat, tapestried throw rugs and tasseled drapes. It felt unlived-in, which was what she wanted. French doors, closed now, showed a charming little porch over looking backyard flower beds. In the moonlight she could see the flowers swaying in a night breeze: pansies, baby breath, daisies.

  “Will this do ya?” Ernie asked. “There’s a smaller room on the east wing.”

  “No, this is perfect, Ernie.”

  “And you can open the windows if ya want, catch the breeze off the bay most of the night. It comes right through the pine trees, brings that scent right into the room.”

  “I just might do that.” She sat down on the high bed, testing the mattress. Suddenly the day’s long drive caught up to her, and she couldn’t wait to fall asleep on the comfy bed with the moon on her face. “What time are the services tomorrow?”

  “Noon. I’ll be fixin’ breakfast at eight.”

  “That sounds great. See you in the morning.”

  “Night.”

  She leaned over to untie her sneakers, and in the fringes of her vision noticed his shadow still there. Before she even looked back up, she could guess the reason. I’m leaning over . . . and I’ve got no bra on. Ernie was getting an eyeful.

  Then she looked back up at him with the thinnest smile. “Was there something else you wanted to tell me, Ernie?”

  His eyes darted out of her cleavage. He quickly cleared his throat and said, “Oh, yeah, just that it’s great to have you back in town for a while.” And then he rushed out of the room and closed the door.

  Men. But some would say she was asking for it, wasn’t she? Wearing no bra, with her bosom? But then part of the tease in her returned. I guess it’s not that big a deal. At least I gave the poor guy something to think about.

  Alone now, she switched off the bedside lamp, undressed, and shouldered into her typical nightwear, a soft spearmint-colored lounger, which she quickly zipped up the front. Without thinking, next she took Ernie’s advice: she opened the window. Warm air and cicada sounds instantly flooded the room; she felt tranquilized. And Ernie was right—soon the moonlit room began to flux between sultry summer heat and a fresh, pine-scented coolness from the bay breeze filtering in through the woods.

  As if they were a lover’s hands, the dark air and pulsing sounds pushed her down to the mattress. Her fatigue left her dopily giddy as she stretched out, flexing her toes, arching her back. An impulse from out of the dark brought her hands to her thighs, slipped them up under the lounger. When she closed her eyes, she imagined that it was the darkness feeling her up, exciting her nerves. Her hips squirmed around in unbidden horniness, and when her fingers walked up her belly and threatened to slip beneath her panties, her conscience dragged them away. What are you doing? she scolded herself. You’re exhausted. Go to sleep. What am I all hot and bothered about? I’m going to a funeral tomorrow. . . .

  The dark thickened around her, broken only by the wedge of moonlight that lay right beside her, a pearlescent bedmate. The cicadas thrummed and thrummed, rocking her in a strange and primitive lullaby. Then she faded off, but—

  Oh, my God . . .

  —at once, her sleep dropped her into a dream gushing with sex. She lay cringing, raw, and naked on her living room floor, her ankles locked desperately around the back of a faceless man. Patricia knew it was her living room back in D.C. because she saw her business dress, high heels, and blouse flung over her litigation bag, which she always set down right next to their coffee table. The Rothko print that she’d bought for Byron for a past birthday hung just above the faux fire-place, and on the mantel sat the crystal carriage clock he’d bought her years ago for an early anniversary. These were familiar things, things that rooted her to her life with Byron, and she loved these things. But through her cringing sexual angst—as she was being fastidiously penetrated on the floor—she noticed the clock’s glass dome bore a crack, and the Rothko hung upside down.

  A climax clenched her up—she couldn’t breathe for a moment—and then she looked up at her aggressive lover’s face. She fully expected it to be Byron’s, but she could see no face, and it wasn’t his rotund body atop her but a lean, muscle-rippled physique. Oh, my God, do it harder, harder, she thought, teething her lower lip, and then the desires of her mind were answered. The rigid penis boring in and out of her stepped up its delicious tempo, pile driving her loins into the bed. Another orgasm rippled through
her as her lover withdrew and released himself across her belly and breasts. He knelt between her legs now, looking down at her; then he grabbed her hand and glided it over the lines of warm sperm—an earthy love lotion.

  Patricia lay quivering, heaving in breath. Who is he? Who is he? The question reeled around and around in her head. She could see every detail of his chiseled body shellacked in sweat, but his face still remained shrouded, as if by smoke.

  The smoke moved downward; he was lying beside her, his mouth sucking pink marks on her neck, and his fingers playing lower. Just the touch of his hand riled her up; she was just about to come again, but then her eyes darted off a moment and she saw Byron sitting fat and naked on the couch, his face forlorn as he watched this other man electrify her.

  Patricia didn’t even care.

  She lay back, tensing more, begging for this strange mystery lover to take her again right there in front of her husband, the rough hand expertly gentle with her most private parts, and then her legs shot upward, toes straining toward her living room ceiling when she recognized Ernie Gooder’s face on the man who was burying her in the most wanton ecstasy—

  Patricia shrieked in the throes of another climax . . . and—

  —then awoke naked and clenching in her sister’s guest room.

  Oh, jeez . . .

  There was no one beside her, of course, no Ernie finishing up, and the only hand between her legs was her own.

  What’s gotten into me? she thought. Her confusion melted into a drowsy disorientation. It frustrated her, even half-asleep as she was, because it made her feel unaware of herself. The cicada sounds seemed twice as loud now, the moonlight dimmer yet somehow edgier. During the fitful dream she’d kicked the covers off the bed and cast her cotton lounger to the floor, and now she didn’t even bother putting it back on. The moonlight made the sweat on her breasts, belly, and thighs appear frostlike.

  She let her confusion fade away behind her fatigue, then curled up into a nude ball. Her sex still tingled as she drifted back to sleep, completely incognizant of the face peering in at her naked body through the window.