“Should you be out in this weather, Kassidy?”
She turned and smiled at him. “I can assure you I will not melt.”
He watched her as she paced off the frozen rows where the kitchen garden would be planted in the spring. “May I ask what you are doing?”
“Raile, why are potatoes and vegetables only planted in kitchen gardens?”
“To feed the people of the castle, I would think.”
“I have put a lot of consideration into an idea that 1 believe will bring more prosperity to the villagers.”
He tucked a blond curl beneath her hood. “I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts. I learned today how you helped the villagers make and distribute their china.”
“And they have done so well, Raile. I expect before long they will have to make the factory larger.”
He watched a snowflake land on her eyelash and had the strongest urge to remove it with his lips. “What is your new scheme?”
“It’s my belief that if the villagers are to become even more self-sufficient, they should clear ground and plant fields of edible crops. Not for their own consumption, but to sell at the markets in London.”
“A novel idea.”
“Not at all, Raile. I’ve read extensively on this subject, and it’s done quite successfully in America.” Her eyes glowed with excitement. “There are many advantages for the villagers in this. They can sow clover to feed their own livestock.”
“Assuming they have livestock.”
“They can buy them with the earnings from the Ravenworth china.”
“Of course, why didn’t I think of that?” he mused.
“Raile, the villagers could even build a mill and man it with paid tenants so the grain can be sold to neighboring villages, where they are not nearly so ambitious. I have already encouraged the women who do not work at the china factory to set up a shop so their crafts can be sold. This will help them become less dependent on their husbands and give them pride.”
“Are you asking me to become a tradesman?”
She smiled at the mock horror on his face. “Of course not, Raile. I’m merely asking you to encourage it in others.”
She was quiet for a moment and then she asked, “Raile, are you still bothered by headaches?”
“No, my little physician, not since the night you operated on me.”
“I’m glad. I was worried about that.”
“Were you?”
“Yes, of course.”
He drew her into his arms, wishing he could tell her how full his heart felt. She was bright, intelligent, and he adored her. “1 will help the villagers in any way I can, if you will promise to come inside. It has begun to snow harder, and I don’t want you losing your footing.”
Raile scooped her up in his arms and walked toward the castle. He looked down at her, thinking she grew more beautiful every day and more necessary to him.
His gaze moved over her face that was framed by the green inner lining of her hood. “Are you cold?” he asked, wanting to tighten his arms about her and tell her of the many feelings that warred inside him.
“No. I love the snow, don’t you?”
They had entered the house, and he set her on her feet and Ambrose appeared from out of nowhere and took their cloaks. Raile steered Kassidy toward the stairs before he answered her. “For a long time, Kassidy, I have hardly taken notice of the passing seasons.”
“Is that true, Raile?”
“I can assure you it is.”
She paused and placed her gloved hand on his arm. “What happened to you, Raile, that made you so cynical about life?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m cynical, only mistrusting.”
“Then what made you mistrusting?”
He drew in a long breath. “Let us just say, I know human nature and I allow for faults in others.”
“But you don’t allow for faults in yourself.”
He took her arm and guided her up the stairs. “I have lost the thread of this conversation, Kassidy.”
“Of that I have absolutely no doubt,” she said, wishing she knew the real Raile, the one that he kept apart from her. “You don’t like to talk about yourself, do you?”
They had reached her room, and he opened the door and guided her inside, seated her on a chair, and knelt to remove her boots. “I have always found talking about myself a bit tedious, Kassidy.” He smiled up at her. “I’m certain you were taught at your mother’s knee that it is proper to encourage a man to talk about himself, because we men are arrogant and filled with self-importance.”
She laughed. “You know women well, don’t you, Raile?”
“I thought I knew you, Kassidy. But I’m not sure that’s true.”
Mischief danced in her eyes. “I might allow a man to believe he understands me if he needed to feel superior.”
He found himself shaking with laughter. “God help the man who thinks he understands you, my little hellion.” He helped her into her slippers and then stood over her. “But I’m going to try.”
He raised her legs and placed them on a hassock and pulled a blanket over her. “Would you like to have your dinner served here?”
She was touched by his gentleness, until she realized his solicitous manner was only because she carried his heir. “That would be nice. Will you join me?”
“Yes, if you don’t mind. I’ll have Oliver make the arrangements.” He left her in search of his valet, but returned a short time later and sat down beside her. “You are certain you feel well?”
“My health has never been better,” Kassidy assured him.
“I don’t know much about childbirth, but I can only imagine it is cumbersome carrying a child within your body. You must tire easily.”
Kassidy realized he was genuinely interested in how she was feeling. “No, it is not cumbersome—awkward, I suppose. I cannot tell you the joy that comes over me when I feel the baby move inside me. I feel a closeness with him.”
“Him?”
“I think of the baby as him. I suppose it’s because you want a son so badly.” She looked into his eyes and saw a tenderness there. “It is my wish to give you a son, Raile.”
“To put a finish to our bargain?”
She felt a tightness in her throat. “To put a finish to our bargain.”
“You like children. I know how much you love Arrian, and she adores you.”
“Yes, I find children to be honest. One always knows what they are thinking and feeling.”
“That’s not always the case with me, is it, Kassidy?”
She was thoughtful for a moment. He was a complex man, and if she lived with him forever, she would never truly know him. “You hide your true feelings very well, Raile.”
He stood and moved to the door. “Have Elspeth come for me when you are ready to sup.”
Before Kassidy could answer, he was gone.
A table had been set before the crackling fire. Kassidy was sure she didn’t taste anything with Raile sitting across from her. When dessert was served, Elspeth and the maid withdrew, and she took a bite of the vanilla ice.
“I noticed you ate very little, Kassidy.”
She pushed the bowl aside, wondering how she could swallow another spoonful with him watching her so closely. “Doctor Worthington assures me my diet is adequate.”
Raile reached across the table and took her hand, studying the long fingers and the blue veins. “I suppose I’m beginning to sound like Elspeth.”
“The two of you do tend to fuss, Raile. I am strong, and my health is good. I should give you a strong and healthy baby.”
He dropped her hand. “I have never had a baby before, Kassidy.” He smiled, and it made her catch her breath. “I will try not to fuss overmuch.”
She leaned back in her chair and laced her fingers together. “I don’t mind, Raile. I’m glad you are here.”
“Are you?”
“Yes, I am.” She stood and he came to his feet. “I do find that I tire easily. Would
you mind if I excused myself and went to bed?”
“Do you want to sleep in my bed, or shall I sleep in yours?”
“I . . . it isn’t necessary ... I ... am accustomed to sleeping alone now.”
“But you are having the nightmares again.”
“Yes.”
He moved around the table and drew her into his arms. “I would like to lie beside you in the night so you can be assured that nothing real or imaginary can harm you.”
She trembled with pent-up emotion as he pressed her head against his shoulder. “Oh, yes, Raile, please keep me from having the dreams.” A shuddering sigh escaped her lips. “It’s like living the terror over and over.”
“I will take care of you, Kassidy,” he said holding her tighter. “You need never fear the dreams again.”
She wanted only to place herself in his care, to give herself over to the love she felt for him. But if she did, wouldn’t she only be hurt in the end? Would she be able to walk away and leave him when the time came?
“Raile, even though it was you who asked me to marry you, you’ve never taken well to marriage, have you?”
“I have found it to be difficult at times,” he admitted. “You do test a man’s forbearance.”
Kassidy stared into liquid brown eyes that made her heart flutter, and she pressed herself tightly against him. “I don’t mean to be a trial to you, Raile.”
He laughed and held her away from him. “Madame, you have no idea what you have put me through. Since the first day I met you, my life has been in turmoil.”
32
Contentedly, Kassidy snuggled beneath a down-filled coverlet. Raile was working late in his study, but she knew he would come to her later, and she would sleep peacefully in his arms.
Her mind went back to the day, as a young girl, when she had gone to the park across from her aunt’s house and the ruffian had tried to push her into the pond. She thought of her savior that day—the officer in his immaculate red uniform, his dark eyes so soft with kindness. Of course, it had been Raile—she could see him very clearly now. Why hadn’t she recognized him as the champion of her girlhood?
Certain he had been younger then, but he had the same handsome features. At that time his eyes had been only sad, not brooding as they now were. Perhaps he had seen too much death in the war, and perhaps being near death himself had changed him.
She had the feeling that Raile had known very little tenderness in his life—there was something that haunted him and kept him from reaching out for happiness. Or ... perhaps she was not the woman who could bring him happiness.
Kassidy touched her stomach, feeling overwhelmed with love for the baby nestled there. How fortunate she was to be having Raile’s child. She could imagine a little boy with big brown eyes.
Somewhere, a clock chimed the tenth hour. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she drifted off to sleep with a smile on her lips.
When Kassidy awoke later, the fire had gone out, and she felt chilled, until she was pulled against a warm body, and she settled into Raile’s arms.
She touched his hand, and turned her head to lay her lips against it. She was so filled with love for him she could hardly breathe. How could he have become so important to her in such a short time?
His breath tickled her ear. “Sorry if I disturbed you, Kassidy, but you were cold, and I wanted to warm you.”
She turned over, pressing her face against his chest. “I’m warm now.”
His hand moved down to lightly touch her stomach. He felt the roundness and drew his hand back. “Does it cause you discomfort when I touch you there?”
She smiled, taking his hand and placing it back on her stomach. “Of course it doesn’t.”
Gently his hand roamed around the swollen abdomen. He was awed by the thought that his child lay snugly within Kassidy’s body. He felt something like a ripple against the palm of his hand, and his eyes widened with wonderment.
“Kassidy, did you feel that?” he asked, taking his hand quickly away.
“Yes, it was the baby.”
“You mean I actually felt it move?”
“Of course.” She raised her gown and placed his hand on her bare stomach. “There, you can feel it better now. He is becoming quite active at night.”
Raile lightly placed his hand against her satiny skin, and again he felt the baby move. His heart was racing with excitement—to actually feel his child before it was born was something he had not expected to experience. It made the child seem more real, and his feelings ran so deep, it was almost like pain.
“So this is what it’s like to feel immortal,” he said, his hand gliding up to her swollen breasts.
Kassidy closed her eyes and bit her trembling lower lip. There was something different about Raile tonight. His caress was somehow loving without being passionate. He made her feel cherished and protected. Her heart was so full of love for him, but she could not speak of it.
He pulled her gown down and pressed her against him. “Are you warm?”
“Yes,” she said, her eyes drooping.
The room was in total darkness as Raile’s arms enveloped Kassidy so tightly she could feel his every intake of breath.
“Go to sleep, little mother,” he whispered, his fingers lacing through hers.
Kassidy closed her eyes. Raile had reminded her that he was merely taking care of the mother of his child, but it did not matter. She would live on each touch, each word he spoke to her.
“It’s snowing harder,” Raile murmured against her ear. “We shall soon be snowbound if this continues.”
She wouldn’t mind being snowbound with him. “It’s December tenth. Could we have a Yule log and celebrate like we did when I was a child?” she asked with sudden yearning.
He smiled against her hair. “Kassidy, you can have anything I can give you that will make you happy.”
“I want to have a wonderful Christmas for Arrian.”
“And so you shall,” he promised.
* * *
A bright sun was shining as Raile helped Kassidy into the sleigh. Atkins climbed in the driver’s seat and picked up the reins. Raile handed Arrian to Kassidy and then covered them both with soft fur robes. Elspeth placed a foot warmer at Kassidy’s feet and instructed her not to take a chill. Raile leaped in beside them, and two white horses lurched forward with a jingle of bells.
Elspeth called out to Raile to have a care of Kassidy’s health. “And don’t let her slip down, your grace,” she instructed in a loud voice. “She must remain in the sleigh while you get the Yule log.”
Kassidy felt the cold wind against her cheek and smiled down at Arrian. “This will be a wonderful Christmas, Arrian. This was your mother’s favorite time of the year.”
Arrian looked so angelic in her fur hat and cape with only her lovely face visible. “Come and sit in my lap, dearest,” Kassidy urged.
The tiny girl shook her head and held her arms out to Raile.
“I believe she wants you to hold her, Raile.”
Awkwardly, he took Arrian upon his lap and was rewarded by a happy smile from the little charmer. She curled up in his arms, refusing to go back to Kassidy.
Kassidy smiled. “I believe she likes you, Uncle Raile.”
Raile gently tugged at a golden curl peeping out from Arrian’s white fur bonnet. “I have always had this trouble with women,” Raile teased. “They can’t leave me alone.”
Arrian chose that moment to throw herself against him and kiss him soundly on the cheek.
Kassidy laughed at the startled look on Raile’s face, but she could also tell he was pleased. “Does she look like your sister, Abigail?” Raile asked.
“Very much so. I wish you could have known Abigail. She was the sweet one of the family. She would never have disagreed with you. I cannot remember a time when Abigail was angry with anyone . . . except Henry, of course.”
“Certainly she was nothing like you,” Raile said dryly.
Kassidy arched her brow. “So long a
s you remember that.”
He looked at Arrian. “Did you know that your Aunt Kassidy has a temper?”
The child smiled coyly, flirting with her handsome uncle and jabbering at him in her own language.
When they reached the meadow, Raile stepped onto the icy ground with Arrian in his arms. “Wave to Aunt Kassidy. She has to sit in the sleigh while we have all the fun.”
Kassidy watched Raile perch Arrian on his shoulders and trudge through the snow. Atkins followed a few paces behind, carrying the axe. Kassidy opened the basket Elspeth had packed for her. She poured herself a steaming cup of chocolate and waited for Raile to return.
Just thinking about Raile made her giddy inside. She had tried not to love him—but she did—deeply and without reason. Life with him was an adventure. So many times he had come to her rescue. But when she tried to voice her gratitude to him, he merely changed the subject.
She felt the baby move inside her. The baby would be the greatest gift she could give him. She prayed it would be the son he so desperately wanted.
She thought of how good he had been with Arrian. A child would be fortunate, indeed, to have him for a father.
Christmas had come and gone, and the new year was in its second week.
Kassidy was in the sitting room and had just finished reading a letter from her aunt when she heard a man’s voice in the hallway.
“Never mind, Ambrose, I’ll just announce myself,” he said.
Kassidy had never seen the man who came walking briskly toward her with a broad smile on his face. He was blond and handsome, and his blue eyes danced with laughter.
“Ah, my dear sister-in-law. At last we meet.”
Kassidy had never expected to meet Hugh DeWinter. She found her hands shaking and her heart racing with fear. She came quickly to her feet, scattering the pages of her letter on the floor.
When Hugh bent to retrieve them for her, she stood as if frozen. “I ... my husband is not at home,” she managed to say. What she really wanted to do was yell at him and to pound on his chest. She wanted to demand to know why he had deserted Abigail when she needed him most.
Hugh pressed the letters in her trembling hands, and she pulled away from him as if his was a viper’s touch.
Song Of The Nightingale (DeWinter's Song 1) Page 26
