Aware she was waiting for his answer, Steve pushed away from the chalkboard. “Well, here’s what I believe. A person’s family and loved ones ought to come first always, above everything else.”
“Even if it means sacrificing what might be an absolutely stupendous career?” Phoebe asked.
“Phoebe, if your career means that much to you, maybe you’re just not ready to get married and settle down. You’re still very young. There’s no law that says you have to get married at the same time you graduate from college.”
“I know that.” Phoebe jumped down from her perch and sauntered closer. “I’m just afraid that everyone else, from my parents on down to this person I love, are going to feel otherwise.”
“Ah, parental pressure,” Steve said.
Phoebe shrugged. “And spousal, or however you’d say it when you’re talking about two people who aren’t married. Not yet, anyway.”
“Well, I think you should follow your heart,” Steve said firmly. If he had done that and followed Joanie when she first turned her back on him, he thought, the two of them wouldn’t still be at odds. Hell, they might even be married and raising their own family by now. And if he and Joanie were married, this situation with Irene and Emily might be a lot easier to manage.
“You really mean it?” Phoebe asked excitedly, moving nearer still.
“Sure I do,” he said, pausing and looking down at her kindly. Phoebe smiled, looking for a second as if he’d just handed her a gold medal.
Just then there was the sound of the door opening. “Oh, gosh,” said Phoebe, “there’s Ms. Griffin, and she looks like she wants to talk to you. I guess I better head on down to the beach now.” The student walked to the door, pausing momentarily to exchange pleasantries with Joanie, then sauntered off.
Joanie came closer. To Steve’s annoyance, she seemed to have jumped to conclusions again at finding him alone in the old schoolhouse with Phoebe long after the others had left. But they were conclusions that could easily be put to rest. The question was, though, should he make explanations? Or insist she start trusting him implicitly, even without explanations, now?
JOANIE APPROACHED Steve, doing her best to hide the kick in the gut she’d felt when she saw him talking so intimately with the pretty college coed.
She knew she shouldn’t be jealous. She was. She knew he’d given her no reason in the past few days to mistrust him. Part of her—the part of her that recalled their infamous past—mistrusted him, anyway. And that in turn made her angry at herself.
“What’s up?” Steve asked.
Joanie worked to keep her emotions under control. “There’s no Irene Martin staying anywhere on Jermain Island. Nor are there any Martins or any Irenes.”
“What about the mainland hotels?”
“Nothing there, either. And I checked every place within a hundred miles on the system.”
Steve studied her. “Any other messages for me?”
“No.” Joanie noted he had some chalk from the blackboard smudged across the front of his shirt. “But I’ve been thinking…” She reached out and rubbed at the smudge that angled across his chest and one shoulder. “Has it occurred to you we may be chasing down the wrong woman?”
Steve grew very still beneath the light ministrations of her fingers. “What do you mean?”
Joanie reluctantly dropped her hand from the firm muscles of Steve’s chest and shoulder. She gestured helplessly. “If anyone at the resort has been acting like someone who has just deserted a baby, it’s Phoebe.”
“Wait a minute.” Steve caught Joanie’s wrist. “We know from the note that the baby is mine. Assuming that’s true, Emily can’t be Phoebe’s child, as well.”
Joanie paused. “Then there was never anything, well, personal between you and Phoebe?”
Steve released his hold on Joanie abruptly. He looked irritated by her persistent questioning. “How could there have been? I didn’t even remember her at first.”
“And yet she stayed behind to talk to you alone.”
“I’m a motivational speaker. That happens all the time.” Steve crossed to one of the narrow windows and closed it. “People think that because I won a couple of medals I can tell them some secret that’ll help them take charge of their life, too.”
She watched as he picked up his blazer and shrugged it back on. “And can you?”
He gave her a penetrating look. “I can talk about working hard to fulfill a dream.” His voice dropped a notch. “I can talk about going after something one slow, deliberate step at a time.”
He closed the distance between them. He put one hand on the wall next to her ear and leaned in close. With his free hand, he touched her face, lightly brushing his knuckles from cheek to chin. The gentleness she saw in his eyes was enough to send her senses into a tailspin.
“You okay?” he asked, staring down at her.
“I don’t know.” Joanie jerked in a breath and raked her teeth across her lower lip. “This whole situation is making me a little crazy.” She was having all sorts of weird thoughts. And that wasn’t like her. In fact, she hadn’t felt this way since the last time Steve was in her life.
He nodded. “The not knowing for sure what’s going on is making me a little crazy, too,” he admitted frankly. “If someone is going to slap a paternity claim on me, I wish they’d quit worrying about my reaction or anyone else’s and just come forward.” He leaned down to kiss Joanie’s temple. “It would save us all a lot of grief.”
Joanie splayed her fingers across Steve’s chest, loving his warmth and his strength even as she was caught on the thin edge between temptation and common sense. “Maybe Emily’s mother can’t,” she replied.
“Why not?”
Joanie swallowed around the sudden dryness in her throat. Aware this was something that had to be faced, like it or not, she lifted her gaze to his and forced herself to go on. “There could be tons of reasons. The potential scandal of it. Your reaction. Maybe Emily’s mother left Emily with you the way she did so you’d have a chance to get used to being a father before she confronted you with what she’d done—I mean hiding her pregnancy from you.”
Steve’s eyes darkened to pewter. “You seem to have a lot of sympathy for this mystery woman,” he noted.
Joanie lowered her gaze again and stared at his strong, corded throat. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it,” she defended herself. When she made to step past him, he laid his other hand against the wall on the other side of her. She was trapped in the cage of his arms, her back to the wall. His eyes roved her upturned face, lingered on the pulse beating madly in her throat, before returning to her face.
“Right now all I know for certain is that I want to get this matter settled so we can pick up where we left off,” he whispered in a matter-of-fact voice that sent frissons of desire rippling down her spine, “and make plans to live happily ever after.”
She felt breathless and confused. “Steve…”
He was taking way too much for granted. That Irene would be found, admit maternity and step aside. That the two of them would fall in love all over again and get married.
“What?” His hands fell to her shoulders. His grip wasn’t gentle and his breath wasn’t steady.
“Don’t—”
“I have to do something to make you see how I feel,” he said fervently, pulling her close.
Her heart skipped a beat as he lowered his mouth to hers. He took her lips with a rush of passion, kissing her long and hard and deep. She clung to him, reveling in the euphoric sensations sweeping through her. Only Steve had ever made her feel this loved and desired. Only Steve had made her feel that as long as they were together, they had everything.
Slowly they drew apart. Joanie knew that had they been anywhere else, anywhere safe and private, they would have made love again. That was the way it always was with Steve—as if she was caught up in a whirlwind. But whirlwinds could be very destructive, she reminded herself sternly, and if he made love to her aga
in and they were forced to part—for whatever reason—she would not walk away unscathed.
She went to move away, only to find herself held close again. She buried her face against his shoulder as she struggled to regain what little equilibrium she had left. His body was like a solid wall of support and understanding.
“Steve, please, this isn’t a good idea,” she murmured.
“Your newfound doubts about me are because of Phoebe, aren’t they?” he asked.
Joanie lifted her head. Embarrassed, angry color filled her cheeks. “I admit that seeing her with you brought back a lot of old doubts.”
“I can’t help it that strangers admire me or want to talk to me,” he murmured soothingly, stroking her hair.
“I know.”
He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. “Groupies and fans are part of any Olympic athlete’s life. With time no one will know who I am, no one will care, and that will all fade.”
But his good looks and his sex appeal wouldn’t, not for a very long time, if ever, she thought. “Haven’t you heard?” she asked shakily, turning her back on his tender touch. “Women age. Men just get better with time.”
He closed his arms around her and brought her back against his chest. He buried his face in her hair, then turned her to face him. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, Joanie. My days in the limelight are over. I asked Elizabeth Jermain for a job here because I want a normal life for myself.”
A normal life. How nice that sounded. Joanie closed her eyes. “I want that for you, too. But in the meantime, I need a little time.” She swallowed and looked up at him. “I need some space.” She needed to be able to think, while not noticing constantly how handsome he was, while not feeling the tender evocativeness of his touch or seeing the gentleness in his eyes.
He tightened his hands on her upper arms. There was no denying the possessiveness of his touch as he gave her a quelling look, rife with determination. “I’m not going to let you run away from me again, Joanie.”
She knew how far Steve had gone to be with her, and she wanted it to work out, too. But she was afraid she was kidding herself with her hopelessly romantic notions. She was afraid she didn’t know the real Steve versus the public gold-medal-winning Steve at all. And she was afraid that fear wasn’t ever going to go away.
JOANIE MIGHT STILL BE there physically, Steve thought, but emotionally, intellectually, at least part of her was already running away from him again. He headed back to his quarters and changed into clothes suitable for the beach cookout, where he’d promised to make an appearance.
As he headed for the beach, he wondered if Joanie would ever let her guard down long enough to trust him completely. He knew that because of the way he’d grown up, his father’s abandonment, that he could not live with Joanie if she had one foot out the door and was forever on the verge of leaving him. No, when he married, it had to be for keeps.
When Steve arrived, the barbecue was in full swing. Phoebe Claterberry was deep in conversation with Dennis Wright. Dennis had his arm around Phoebe’s shoulders.
Columbia Haynes joined Steve briefly. “Think those two will work things out?” she asked.
Steve hadn’t a clue. “One can only hope,” he said. He knew it would put Joanie’s mind at ease if Dennis and Phoebe were a “couple” again by the time they left.
Mindful of the time, Steve signed a few more autographs, gave words of encouragement here and there, then returned to the front desk in the main building to check his messages. To his surprise, Joanie was at the concierge desk.
“You’re working again tonight?” He knew she hadn’t been scheduled.
“I need to make up for the time I’ve missed the past few days.” She smiled, the picture of cool efficiency. “You don’t mind baby-sitting Em, do you?”
As if she even had to ask, Steve thought, irked. “Of course not,” he said, knowing an excuse when he heard one. Joanie was avoiding him. Because of the way he’d kissed her in the old schoolhouse? Or because she just couldn’t bring herself to trust him, not now and not ever. He pushed aside his uneasiness.
“So where’s Emily now?” he asked.
Joanie gave him another smile, brighter and more efficient and more coolly impersonal than the first. “Liz took her to the staff cafeteria for some supper.”
Steve straightened. He knew he should leave. He just didn’t want to. He crossed his arms and lounged against the concierge desk. “Liz’s really getting into this babysitting business, isn’t she?”
“We all are,” Joanie said, the new wash of ever deepening color in her cheeks belying the rounded perfection of her tone. “But then maybe that’s not surprising.” Her eyes met his. “Emily is an adorable child.”
Steve was about to reply when Shad Teach stopped by the desk. He handed Joanie a key. “Cottage 3 is available again. Housekeeping’s cleaning it now.”
Joanie frowned. “What happened to Mrs. Flannagan?” she asked Shad.
“She checked out earlier today. One of the bellboys saw her to the ferry.”
Joanie paused. “Was there some family emergency?”
“I don’t know.” Shad shrugged. “But when I talked to her on the phone, she didn’t sound upset.” He looked up to see several guests coming in the front door, bags in hand. “I’ll talk to you later, Joanie.” Shad hurried off to assist them.
“Something must be wrong,” Joanie said to Steve, apparently forgetting for a moment her decision to put some distance between them.
Steve followed her into her private office, which was behind the front desk. “What makes you think that?”
Joanie sat down behind her computer. She pressed a number of buttons as she booted up the file on Mrs. Flannagan.
“For starters, Mrs. Flannagan had reservations for three more days. She was taking golf lessons and was enrolled in a bridge tournament that’s still ongoing.”
“So?” Steve shrugged and pulled up a chair next to Joanie, then turned it around and straddled it. “A lot of people cut their vacations short for one reason or another.”
Joanie shook her head. “Not Mrs. Flannagan. She’s a widow, Steve. She told me at the beginning this vacation was going to be hard for her, because she’d never vacationed alone before.” Joanie sighed, clearly troubled. “And I could tell by the way she kept stopping by the desk and asking about the different things that were going on that she was really lonely. So I set up golf lessons for her with the pro and got her into a bridge tournament. Last night I suggested she enroll in the beachcombing seminar, and she seemed very excited about it. For her to leave without even saying goodbye to me is very strange.”
“Maybe she was just embarrassed about cutting out when you’d done so much for her.”
“No,” Joanie said. “I still think something’s wrong. And if Mrs. Flannagan was annoyed or felt the resort was lacking in any way, then we need to know about it so we can correct the problem.” Joanie typed into the computer and pulled up Mrs. Flannagan’s Kansas City address and phone number.
She dialed and waited. Finally she frowned and hung up. “No answer. I’ll try again tomorrow.” She scrawled a note to remind herself.
“Are you this much a perfectionist about everything or just about your work?” Steve teased.
“Everything meaning?”
“Your personal life.”
Joanie stuck the note on the desk calendar next to the phone. She straightened, her expression grim. “You don’t do yourself any favors by compromising on what you want in a lifelong mate.”
“Are you speaking from experience?”
She shrugged. “In a roundabout way. I realized early in life that my mother really loved my father, but my father didn’t really love my mother, and as a consequence he wasn’t faithful to her. But they stayed together for my sake.”
Steve’s own childhood had been less than perfect, too. He knew how hard it was to live without the two terrific parents every kid secretly yearned for.
�
�That sounds tough,” he said sympathetically.
“It was.” Joanie drew a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. “We were all miserable.”
Steve could almost see her barriers rising. He sensed that to try to touch her at this moment would be a mistake. “That’s not going to happen to you, Joanie,” he said. I won’t let it.
“You’re right. It won’t.” She sat back and crossed her arms. “Because I’ll never marry without true love on both sides.”
Steve realized he had his work cut out for him if he was going to win Joanie’s heart. He also realized there were good reasons for her wariness and difficulty in trusting men. So maybe it was time he put his own hang-ups aside and cut her some slack.
Joanie closed her computer file. There were shadows beneath her eyes that not even the careful application of makeup could hide. She looked unbearably weary, and he longed to put his arms around her.
“I’ve got to get back to the concierge desk,” she said.
“When do you break for dinner?” Steve asked, already thinking ahead to what he could do to get her spirits up.
“I don’t.” Joanie sighed again. “I promised Jerry and Liz the entire evening off for the way I’ve inconvenienced them both the past few days. I’m going to work straight through until ten.”
Steve held his own disappointment in check. Joanie would survive the long hours. She wouldn’t survive the loss of love. “Want me to bring Emily over so you can see her before she goes to bed?” He had an inkling of how much Joanie would like that.
She smiled at him. “Please.”
NO SOONER had Steve left than Phoebe Claterberry appeared. “Hi, Ms. Griffin. I want to sign up for the Frisbee-throwing contest at the beach tomorrow afternoon.”
Joanie got out the sheet and showed Phoebe where to sign her name. “You look awfully chipper this evening, Phoebe.” You look the way I wished I felt, Joanie thought.
“It’s on account of my talk with Steve this afternoon,” Phoebe confided.
Matchmaking Baby Page 15
