“Yes,” he said, surging and pulsing in her hands, his whole body tensing, his heart pounding in his chest. He stood it as long as he could, then reached for her and drew her up into his arms.
She had never seen Steve as needing anyone—not like this—but he needed her now, tonight. She could feel it, see it, and she was only too glad to be there for him. Her breath locked in her lungs as he guided her against him, his hands stroking her body up and down, moving between her thighs, over her breasts, again and again until her muscles felt as lax and golden as honey. She moaned, reveling in the fire storm, yearning to feel him as part of her very soul. She knew their lives were far from settled, but she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him…losing this. She couldn’t bear not making love with him….
Steve knew the second the doubts began crowding in on her again. He saw the pain, the confusion on her face, the fleeting reflection of all they had to lose. He knew, because he felt it, too. And it was killing him inside, even as he vowed to overcome it.
“It’s not going to happen,” he whispered softly, between deep, soulful kisses, as he lowered her slowly to the floor. “Nothing’s going to separate us. Not again. Not this time.”
“How do you know?” she asked, trembling, seeking reassurance.
He smoothed the golden curls from her face, his determination as deep and profound as her fear. “Because I won’t let it,” he promised, covering her body with his. His desire to protect her had never been stronger.
“But…”
His blood running hot and quick, he braced his arms on either side of her. “We belong together, Joanie. You and I. Now.” He nudged her knees apart and settled himself heavily between her thighs, wanting more than ever to possess her. “And for all time. Nothing’s going to come between us. Do you hear me?” He touched her until she was weak with longing, burning from within. “Nothing.”
“Oh, Steve…” Joanie moaned as he kissed her eyes, her ears, her throat, then took her mouth again, plundering again and again, until she was moving shamelessly, wantonly against him. Shaking, she wrapped her legs and arms around him.
“Now?” he said, smiling down at her.
“Now.” They kissed again as he drew her up against him and surged slowly, deeply into her. She sighed exultantly as he moved rhythmically within her, burying himself to the hilt. She heard herself whispering her pleasure. She felt his response. And then all was lost in the long, slow climb and the shuddering pleasure.
Afterward, lying close to his side, Joanie shut her eyes and clung to him, knowing now more than ever that the simple act of coming together like this would never be enough for her. She wanted more. She wanted marriage. Commitment. Children. Family. She wanted it all, and she wanted it with Steve.
Right now they weren’t free and clear of trouble yet. But they would be soon. And once Emily’s situation was secure, then she and Steve could—and would—concentrate on their own future.
“IT’S NOT EASY being green,” Kermit the Frog sang on TV, early the next morning.
Emily jumped up. “’Mit song! ‘Mit song!” she shouted excitedly.
“…the color of the leaves…”
So this was what Emily had been demanding they sing to her, Joanie thought with a smile as she joined in the singing of the Sesame Street song, as did Emily and Steve.
Watching Joanie dress Emily, Steve realized that Joanie had given him a sense of family, of being deeply, irrevocably loved in a way he had never been before. This was what he had been looking for, the happiness that had eluded him. With a frown, he wondered how his own father had ever walked away from him and his mother. He would never do the same to his wife and child.
He walked over to help Joanie put on Emily’s shoes. “Busy day today?” he asked as he tied one tiny sneaker, Joanie the other.
Joanie nodded. “The kids from the mentoring conference are checking out. So I’ve got to go to the desk and help handle the rush.” She paused to kiss Emily’s cheek, then looked at Steve. “Can you watch Emily?”
Happy to comply, Steve nodded. “I’ve got errands to do on the mainland, but Emily can go with me.”
Just then the phone rang and Joanie moved to answer it.
“Hello. Yes, he’s here. Just a minute, please.” Her eyes met Steve’s as she handed him the receiver. “It’s the detective. He says he has some important news for you.”
Joanie watched as Steve hung up the phone a few minutes later. He looked more worried than she’d ever seen him. “What’s going on?” she asked.
“Mrs. Flannagan and Emily are both booked to head back to Kansas one week from today on American Airlines.”
Joanie swallowed. “What do you think that means?”
“I wish I knew.” Steve sighed and raked both hands through his hair.
Joanie drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Do you think she’s had a change of heart…about leaving her with you?”
Steve cast a fond look at Emily. In a Bride’s Bay sweatshirt and jeans, her wispy blond hair standing up in curls, she’d never looked cuter. “It would be understandable if she did.”
But it would break his heart, too, Joanie knew. She closed the distance between them and gently touched his arm. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Part of me says I should wait and let the situation work itself out.” His lips thinned. “The more cautious part tells me to get a lawyer—now.”
“ALMOST DONE,” Liz said a couple of hours later as Shad Teach and his crew of bellboys ferried the last of the luggage out to the waiting minivans that would take the departing conference attendees down to the ferry.
“Including Phoebe Claterberry and Dennis Wright,” Joanie said, going over her own list.
“Oh, yeah, can you believe it? They were actually holding hands when they left.”
Joanie blinked. “You’re kidding!”
“Nope. Whatever Steve said to her last night after his speech must have had some impact. Of course, I saw him talking to Dennis, too.”
“He played matchmaker for them?” Joanie was amazed.
“Apparently.” Liz typed room numbers into the computer for the hotel maid service.
“Well, good for him,” Joanie murmured. And to think she’d worried about Steve succumbing to the enamored Phoebe. She should have known better. “Do you mind if I clock out now? I’ve got some personal business to take care of.”
“No problem,” Liz said, “as long as you cover for me on short notice when I need it. I have a feeling I may be asking a lot of you in the next couple of months. Get going now,” she said, shooing Joanie toward the door.
Figuring she would find out what was going on in Liz’s personal life soon enough, Joanie took off. Back at her unit, she quickly went down the list of bed-and-breakfast inns she’d compiled. Thirteen phone calls later, she found the information Steve wanted. Mrs. Flannagan was registered at Holloway House, but she’d already gone out for the morning. The owner didn’t know when to expect her back. Joanie did not leave a message. She would be waiting for Fiona when she did return.
Unfortunately Joanie’s plan to act as emissary between Steve and Fiona was a total washout. By suppertime, she knew her day-long wait at Holloway House was all for naught. Leaving a message for Fiona to call her when she got in, Joanie took the ferry back to Jermain Island.
She went straight to her quarters. To her consternation, Steve and Emily weren’t there, nor were they in his quarters.
Joanie went back to the main building and checked with the bell captain. “Have you seen Steve and Emily?” she asked Shad.
“I haven’t seen them since around two this afternoon,” he replied.
Joanie could only hope they’d had more success than she had. “If you see Steve, will you please tell him I’m looking for him?”
“You bet,” Shad promised with a devilish wink.
In the meantime, Joanie thought, she’d check out the home Steve had leased. It was highly possible he and Emi
ly had gone over there.
Her heart racing in anticipation of seeing Steve again, she got the keys to a minivan and dashed out the front door. Minutes later she was walking up the sidewalk of his newly leased home.
He met her at the door.
“Joanie, I’m glad you’re here. I found Mrs. Flannagan—she’s Fiona to her friends, she tells me—and she has something to tell us both.”
STEVE GAVE JOANIE a hug, then led her to the living room, where Frances Fiona Flannagan was sitting.
“Gake geh mama!” Emily declared, pointing at Fiona. “Geh Mama!”
“All this time, she was saying grandmama,” Joanie mused.
“Or great-grandmama,” Fiona said, as Emily scrambled up on her lap for a hug.
“I’m glad you’re here, Joanie,” Fiona said earnestly. “I want you to know why and how everything happened the way it did.”
Steve looked at Joanie. “Irene tried to contact me when she realized she was going to have a baby, but none of her messages caught up with me.”
“Irene said if she couldn’t get the father of her baby to return her calls, she doubted she could get him to participate in child-rearing, so she decided to go it alone. I was against that,” Fiona continued seriously. “I thought my granddaughter should tell the baby’s father face-to-face, but she refused to do so, and she would not tell me who the father of her child was, either. Instead, she moved back to Kansas to be closer to me and took a job in Topeka, which was only an hour or so away. And she visited frequently. When Emily was six months old, Irene discovered she had a rare but fatal form of cancer. And there was no hope. She moved in with me. Not until after she died did I find out that she had named me, and not Emily’s father, sole guardian of Emily. The will stated I was to care for Emily until I was no longer able and then I was to return to the attorney and get a second letter of instruction.
“That letter told me to leave Emily with Steve for a period of one week, after which it would be clear if he wanted Emily with him and would be a responsible father. To prepare Emily and familiarize her with Steve, Irene had left me a video cassette of Steve—at the Olympics and doing a television commercial for the shaving cream he endorsed.”
“That’s why Emily kissed the TV screen and called him Daddy,” Joanie said.
Fiona nodded. Emily perked up at the mention of her name and ran to where Joanie and Steve were sitting on the sofa. “I didn’t want to leave Emily on Steve’s doorstep, of course, but I also felt I had no choice but to honor Irene’s last wishes. My attorney found out Steve would be here at Bride’s Bay for a conference. So I followed Steve to the island, took the stroller over and parked it in the shade. I was trying to figure out how to get Steve’s door open when you happened along, Joanie, and thought I was breaking in.”
“So you were the woman in the trench coat and scarf.” Joanie glanced down as Emily took a handful of her blazer in one tiny fist and Steve’s shirt in her other.
“Right. I had left a letter in an envelope addressed to Steve, taped to Emily’s shirt. She was sleeping. But Emily apparently woke up and opened the letter—the puppy absconded with the discarded envelope. When I realized everyone thought Emily had been left with Joanie, I had to leave a second note—that’s the one I taped to Steve’s door. I left the island early because I was afraid I would run into the three of you and that Emily would give me away before Steve got to know her better.”
“And the round-trip airline tickets back to Kansas?” Joanie asked as Emily leaned her head on her shoulder and propped her feet on Steve’s lap.
“That was just in case everything didn’t work out as Irene had hoped,” Fiona said. “But now that they have, we’re going to have to go back, anyway. We have legal matters to take care of there.”
“What about getting things straightened out here?” Joanie wondered.
“I called the local authorities soon after Fiona arrived this afternoon,” Steve said to her. “I told them that Fiona’s agreed to let me have custody of Emily, and that I, in turn, would like her to live with us, so that Emily can spend as much time with her as possible.”
“My attorney in Kansas assures me it can all be done rather quickly,” Fiona said. “All we have to do is get there.”
“D’ink!” Emily said, tugging on the knee of Fiona’s slacks. “D’inkp’ease!”
“There’s apple juice and milk in the fridge,” Steve said.
“I’ll get it.” Fiona was already on her feet. “You two have a lot to talk out, I’m sure.”
When they were alone again, Steve turned to Joanie. “The media are going to have a field day with this. But Emily and I have to go back to Kansas City and face this, get the story out, have it a matter of public record and then go on from there.”
I…not we…. He doesn’t want me to go with him…
“Then you and I can pick up where we left off last night, start planning for our future.”
Joanie felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. For both their sakes, she tried to stay calm. “You want me to stay here?”
Steve nodded seriously. “I think it would be best. Don’t you?”
“I THOUGHT you might be here,” Steve said several hours later as he sat down beside Joanie on the bench that rimmed the upper floor of the lighthouse. Stars sparkled overhead. A cool wind was blowing off the ocean. It should have been an incredibly romantic moment, but all Joanie could think about was the heartbreak that lay ahead.
Joanie glanced at Steve, who covered her hand with his. Outwardly, she knew she looked calm if a little windblown from her two-mile run, but inside, she felt numb. “Did you talk to Elizabeth Jermain?” she asked. When she’d left Steve, that’s where he’d been headed. Emily had been with Fiona at Steve’s island home.
“Yes. I told Elizabeth I still wanted to be the marketing director for Bride’s Bay, but that I didn’t want any scandal connected to me somehow connected to them. And right now, there’s no telling what the public reaction is going to be to this.”
He was right about that, Joanie thought. Public response could go either way. That was probably why he didn’t want her with him. He was afraid she’d tip the balance the other way. “What did Elizabeth say?”
“That she’ll hold the position open for me for a couple of weeks and then we’ll see what things look like and reevaluate.”
In other words, he’s created an escape hatch for himself and Emily. “Oh.” Joanie pulled her hand out from under his. She put her sneaker-clad feet on the bench and brought her knees up to her chest, clasping her arms around them. She hadn’t realized the thought of losing him could hurt so much. And to lose Emily, too…it was almost more than she could take.
“I’m still hoping to take the position here, Joanie.”
“And if you can’t?” Joanie murmured, her voice muffled against her knees.
“Then I can’t,” Steve said. He studied her in silence, his own feelings kept carefully in check. “Why did you take off like that without telling me where you were going?” he asked softly at last.
Joanie lifted her head, able to be honest about that much. “I needed to run off some steam.”
Steve stared at her in gritty silence, beginning to sense that something was very wrong. “And did you?” he asked in obvious trepidation.
“Not really, no.”
He ran a hand from her ankle to her knee. “Which is why you’re sitting up here all alone.”
“I have a lot to think about,” she said sadly, wondering if the pain inside her could get any worse. She pulled her leg from his gentle grip and scooted away from him.
“We both do.” His gaze roved her tense posture as he continued cautiously, “I talked to Fiona, Joanie. I told her how I felt about you. I told her I wanted you to be a part of Emily’s life, too.”
Joanie didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The truth was she was on the verge of doing both—simultaneously. If that happened, she knew it would not be a pretty sight. She straightened her le
gs out in front of her and studied the toe of her sneaker.
“And what did Fiona say?”
“That she approves.” He clasped her shoulders gently, forcing her to look at him. “I want you to marry me, Joanie, as soon as possible.”
The words that would have, under any other circumstances, made her ecstatic, rang flat. She blinked back tears and stood.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.
Joanie pushed a trembling hand through her hair. It was time for her to let him off the hook. To accept the fact that she did not fit comfortably into the fishbowl existence of his celebrity and never would, which meant they could never be happy together, not for the long haul, because his fame was not going to go away. “Steve, the fact of the matter is that you don’t know how the public will react to Emily. And the fact that you’re involved with me won’t help the situation. The media is bound to find out about us—it’s bound to get ugly.” Seeing he was about to protest, she continued determinedly, “In the end, Bride’s Bay is going to be exposed. I can’t let that happen. The Jermains have been through enough. So has Emily. And you have to do what is best for her—even if it means staying in Kansas City.”
He closed in on her, not stopping until they were mere inches apart. “I know a public scandal is inevitable, but I promise I’ll find a way to keep you and Bride’s Bay out of it-”
Joanie held up a palm, knowing she couldn’t bear to hear him say anything more, or she really would burst into tears. “I can’t marry you, Steve.”
He blinked at her in what seemed to be genuine astonishment. “What?”
Feeling sick inside at all she was losing, Joanie moved into the dimly lit interior of the lighthouse.
More angry than exasperated now, he caught her wrists and stopped her flight toward the stairs, then backed her against the wall. He studied her grimly as he caught her shoulders in a warm, possessive grip. “Joanie, we can work it out,” he said in desperation. “I’ll contact the press agent who arranged publicity for me during the Olympics. Just please,” he said vehemently, his voice dropping another persuasive notch as he caressed her shoulders gently, “don’t be foolish. Don’t throw this all away.”
Matchmaking Baby Page 20
