“I would never eat you. That’s absurd. And I am not evil.” He mumbled the last part.
“What? Mind reader!? That’s crossing a line!” I yelled.
“Mirabelle, please, come inside. We can’t afford to have other people see us.” He held his hand out.
“Ha! For a mind reader you sure skipped over that first part.” I raised my eyebrow. “And it’s Mira, not Mirabelle.”
“Mira, forgive me. But please, I will explain everything once you are out of earshot of others. You shouldn’t feel unsafe with your guard protecting you.”
The creature had a tinge of sarcasm to his words. Was he mocking Spike? Could he tell that his temper calmed too? This was bad, this was very bad. Spike, focus!
I watched him step back to give Spike and me enough room to walk into the doorway. Spike was eager to fill the gap; I, myself, was not so willing. With my hands on Spike’s collar, we wiggled into the doorway. Every step was a struggle to keep Spike from attacking the beast with kisses. It was pathetic and laughable. I felt stupid. Nevertheless, I had to keep my ground.
I hunched back down and wrapped my arms around Spike once we made it on the carpet. I was directly in front of the glass door. I made sure part of my back was sticking out. I wanted to know at any given second that it was still open. It was my only safe exit, I couldn’t lose that. I positioned Spike in front of me then looked up to the beast. He was quite a sight.
“Explain yourself.” I whispered.
“What do you mean?” He asked, completely confused.
“Why did you attack me in my apartment yesterday? Today? Yesterday?” I blurted out.
“I didn’t attack you. I was protecting you.”
“From the big, bad, scary monster outside of my window?”
“Mira, there are far greater things in this world to fear than myself. If I wanted to harm you, don’t you think I would have? Rather I bring you home to start your day over without me in it.”
“No, not really. Taking me back here where there aren’t close neighbors and thus more freedom to cut me up sounds better.”
“How does that sound better?” He raised his eyebrow.
“Okay, so not better, but more believable.”
“You are ridiculous. I told you I was protecting you. Do you remember when you fell in the fountain at the park? There were men in a blue truck just below the fire escape. That’s what you had been staring at right before you fell.”
“Yes, so... ?”
He raised his eyebrow at me. It was weird seeing him give a human emotion in that aspect.
“Those men were the ones that set it all up. You really couldn’t tell how perfect it all fit into place? Why else would your protector from God be here?”
I started laughing. He couldn’t be serious. This was a joke.
“So wait, you were there to protect me from potential burglars? Oh no, I get it, you’re my guardian angel!”
I gasped to show false enthusiasm. He nodded his head.
“Seriously? That’s what you’re trying to tell me? God thought I needed saving from potential burglars and not from almost dying in a fountain? You’re pathetic.”
I was crying and laughing. After everything I’ve been through, God, oh merciful God, sends me an angel not when I’m at the brink of death, but when I’m potentially getting robbed, because that’ll do me so much good. It was unbelievable.
“How dare you mock your God like that!” His voice echoed in the bulk of his chest.
“He’s no better than you. You call yourself a guardian angel, and He calls himself God? You’re both liars and cowards.” I hissed.
My tears were pouring out of my eyes so fast they were stinging. He didn’t seem to understand what to do with himself. He just stared at me. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or determined to prove me wrong. I didn’t really care either way, at this point.
“I am your guardian angel, and He is your God. He has done everything in his power to keep you safe and send me whenever you need me most.”
“Really?”
I was furious now. My body shivered with rage. How dare he! Who was he to say this to me? I couldn’t even focus. I just wanted to rip him apart and feed his body to Spike.
“Why does that bother you so much, that I am your guardian angel? I thought you humans wanted us around? I have heard so many stories and wishes of us.”
I held back the laughter in my throat. I had to control myself. I couldn’t reach my breaking point. Breathe Mirabelle, breathe. I can handle him.
“You are no guardian angel and I never wanted you. Besides, I am safe now, oh Great One, you can leave.” I whispered so threateningly, Spike cowered back behind me.
“This is how you thank me?” He whispered it right back. He was insulted. I didn’t care.
“Yeah, very convincing. Thanks for protecting me from the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. You sure have perfect timing.”
I was crying again. I hadn’t realized I stopped at all. My cheeks were hot and my hands were shaking. I was having a difficult time holding in my true emotions.
“Your car is at the apartment.” He mumbled hanging his head. Was this defeat?
“I’ll call a cab. Leave, now. You have done enough.”
I walked forward some and sat down on the stool to my left. I crossed my arms across my chest and watched him. The sliding glass door was wide open. He had the perfect route to just walk out of my life forever. That was the whole reason he was here in the first place anyways.
“Mira, please, you do not understand-”
He stopped his sentence short. I watched him take those steps closer to the door. Was he actually going to leave? He stopped right in front of me. There was hesitation in his eyes. Was he really going to try to say goodbye? Did he think anything could make this better? His hand reached out for mine. I just sat there and watched his black, human-like hand touch my fingers. His nails were such a black that it seemed almost dark green up close. They were long and round. When I realized he was touching me, I jumped up and pushed him away. That seemed to be my breaking point.
“What the hell are you trying to accomplish? Do you understand? You were trying to tell me that you were there to protect me from some men taking my belongings? Things that don’t even matter or can be replaced! What about the things that did exist, and can’t be replaced?
"My parents for example? Oh right, let’s see. First my dad gets drunk and drives the car into a telephone pole, killing my mom, and then later having the plug pulled on him because the doctors said he’d never recover from his vegetable state. And then, hmm, after how many years and foster homes I had to suffer through? All the beatings, abuse, and neglect from the age of five until I was 12? Then, then when I finally found a home and a loving mother, when everything was making sense, I lose her, causing everything she stood for to be taken from us by greedy government workers. Not to mention it all happened only days before I turned eighteen, forcing me on my own, alone and abandoned yet again.
"Where were you then? Why didn’t you protect me from that if you are my so called guardian angel?” I screamed, I had become hysterical.
“I do not and cannot protect from the loss of a loved one. That is not a danger or an act I can stop.”
His posture slumped down into complete defeat. He deserved it.
“Not a danger?! You are not my guardian angel. There is no such thing.”
I closed my eyes and hung on the thought of him not existing. Maybe he was Tinker Bell and if I didn’t believe in him, he’d fall dead. I don’t believe in guardian angels, they don’t exist.
He was still there when I opened my eyes. It was crazy to me that at one point I was terrified of his stature. Now, the only thing crazy to me was that he was my alleged guardian angel and we had just had a pretty civilized argument over it. I really needed to cool off. Turning away from him, I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut; slightly on accident. Something fell off the wall and
broke. Figures. Turning the shower on full heat, I let the steam fill up the bathroom while I sat on the counter top and cried. It was the only thing that could calm me down when I got this upset. Rida used to sit with me on the floor and just hum. I closed my eyes and listened for her. I was forgetting her. Her songs were so far away in my subconscious, it wasn’t fair.
He could have saved her. That stranger, that creature claiming to be a guardian angel, he could have done something. Instead, here he was now; getting upset with me because I wasn’t grateful he saved me from losing material items. I owed him nothing. He owed me everything. Everything was taken from me by the real evils of this world; greed, selfishness, and power. He should have been there for that. Instead, I lost it all. And after I thought I had nothing else to lose, I lost the only place I ever called a home.
I was so angry that the bank had forced me to sell this house. It was all my fault. I was so stupid. But they shouldn’t have expected a 17 year old to understand the words they used, nor understand the paperwork shoved in her face. I had been conned and tricked. There was nothing wrong in my eyes. I was making the right choice; selling a house that was going to make me go bankrupt. That was a lot of responsibility for someone so new in the world of adulthood.
Of course, had I known then that when I turned 18 I’d be inheriting my father’s money and the trust fund Rida left me, I would have never made that decision. And the bank had known that. They thought it was lucky she had passed away when she had. Thieves. I was so angry that had driven up there. They couldn’t even call to tell me about my incoming trust funds, they had sent it in a letter. When I got there, I was in such a rage that they had called the cops on me. They had said I was a danger, they'd feared for their lives. It had all been a ploy to get me to transfer banks so I’d never hear of the profit they had made. That, or so they’d never feel the guilt of what they did to me by seeing my face every day.
I was alone. I had more money than I had ever seen in my life, but I felt so empty. I hated money. I swore I would never be greedy and I would never look away from those that needed me. Of course, if anyone could ever need me. I don’t need anyone. People are such a letdown. And now my own guardian angel was the biggest let down of all. It was harder to blame God than people. I had never thought he was honestly the one behind this. Did he like seeing me struggle? How much stronger could I honestly get? After everything I’ve been through?
“His hand was always there, and still is. Think about it. Finding her, finding your new home, finding your way through the toughest times… ” The creature’s voice echoed in my head.
“That was luck.” I laughed through my tears.
I always laughed when I was frustrated. It was a weird twist to things. Then again, nothing about me was normal.
Shutting off the water, I took a last inhale of the steam in the room. I was calm, finally. I missed her. I needed her here more than ever. I needed help. Why couldn’t my guardian angel actually be here to help me?
“I am here to help.” He said from the other side of the door.
His voice out loud made a tingling sensation pierce my body. I clenched my hands opened and closed again. I didn’t understand it. It was as if his voice was a part of me. He really did belong to me, I could feel it. This was a pointless battle. I was being stupid.
I jumped off the counter and walked out of the bathroom. Instantly, my glasses fogged up. I stood there in the doorway to the rest of the house and waited for them to clear up. I didn’t want to run into any walls or trip on any toys. From the living room, I could hear muffled laughter. He was honestly laughing at me!
“Oh great, laugh at me, that’ll make things better.”
I yanked my glasses off and rubbed them with my shirt. I could see the fuzzy outline of him in the same place as before I had left. How had I heard him on the other side of the door like that?
“I do not mean to offend you. You do look quite ridiculous, though.” He said making gestures with his hands that my hair was messy.
“I have curly hair; steam takes all the straight out of it. You’re a creature from another world that knows the word ridiculous but doesn’t know that humidity affects curly hair?”
I put my glasses back on and glared at him. He tried to hide his smile by looking down to Spike. I took that small opportunity to smooth the curls back under the bobby pins and tighten my pony tail.
“Do you feel better?” He asked.
“What?” Did he see me fix my hair?
“You were in there a while.”
He pointed to the bathroom.
“Oh, yes. I do, actually. Thank you.”
“Good. You have a lot of thoughts. So many are troubling. You are very strong.”
He was trying to comfort me. I had to give him some credit.
“Thank you?”
“Well, I will be leaving now.”
“Now?”
I didn’t want him to leave. I thought he told me he was here because I couldn’t forget him. How could he leave now that I didn’t want to forget him?
“You don’t need me in your life. You are ready to accept I never existed.”
“Just like that and magically you’ll be gone? I’ll be able to forget everything? It will be as if nothing had changed?”
“Time would have changed.” He said.
“What does that mean?” I was lost.
“You’ll understand.” He grinned.
“What’s your name?”
I leaned on the back of the couch with one hand and stared right through him. I knew something; I could feel my brain tugging at long forgotten memories. They were like a dream that I had never thought was real. Each time he talked, more was exposed.
“Sebastian.”
I remembered him from more than just yesterday. I couldn’t place the day, though, just the feeling. It was the oddest sense of déjà vu.
“When did we meet before?”
“Today, technically. However, literally, it will be yesterday.” He smiled.
He was trying to be soothing. It didn’t work. I was only irritated at how many times he had torn me apart like this.
“What do you mean by technically and literally? Why can’t you just tell me the truth?”
“You are not better.” He sighed.
“No. I was better until I realized you were a fraud.”
“Fraud?”
“Yes. It means fake. Just disappear already, you’re right, I want to forget you now.”
“You can tell that I am not from here? It is that apparent to your kind?”
“Now is not the time for jokes.”
He dropped his stance and nodded. With his great height, he suddenly seemed small. He honestly felt bad. I wasn’t sure that was good enough for me to forgive him yet, but it was good enough for me to let him explain himself.
“When you were a child, did you believe in the tooth fairy?” He asked.
“What does that-?”
“Just answer.” He interrupted me.
“Yes, for a little while I did.” I said.
“Okay. And your mother, she told you if you tried to see her then she’d never come back.”
“I suppose.”
“Mirabelle, your kind looks to the guardian angels as a sort of break from the terrors of the world. You put so much weight on our shoulders for your happiness. If you thought I had saved you, I expected your happiness and that would have been the key to getting rid of me. But I was wrong. I am sorry I lied to you. I am here for you, but it’s not how you’d wish.”
“Then what are you?” I asked.
“A creature from God to watch over you.” He said.
“I don’t get it. How is that not a guardian angel?”
“Because that’s your name you give us, not ours.”
I felt myself getting angry. Was he playing with me? I wanted to smack him.
“You are still angry?”
“You are still lying to me. But whatever, just tell me how to for
get so you can leave.”
“I cannot tell you. You have to want it.”
“I want it.” I said with the most sincerity I could muster up.
He nodded his head as I walked away to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and got out some water to make a point I was able to carry on with my day. It had to be closing in on noon by now. Spike and I completely missed our opportunity to go to the park, but we’d think of something.
Trying not to let Sebastian see me struggling with the lid, I turned my back on him. There was a clock up over this doorway. Before I could see the time, my eyes were distracted by Sebastian’s figure going down the hall. He turned towards the spare bedroom. Curiously, I rushed after him. Had he forgotten where the front door was?
“Um, the front door is the other way. You’ve only been here twenty minutes and already forgot the way you came in?” I called after him.
I looked around the corner and down the hall. The door to the guest bedroom was wide open. I could see his tail was disappearing into the closet.
“Sebastian?”
I ran over and faced the open closet. The clothes were swaying. Everything else was in its cluttered place.
“I thought you wanted me to leave?”
His voice sounded very far away. My head hurt a little.
“Yes, but I mean, you do know that’s my closet, right?”
I bent down to see if I could see his feet. The light wasn’t on; I couldn’t even see the piles of shoes that were usually visible down there. It was all black.
“Yes. This is the way I came in...I did not forget.”
“Huh?”
I stood up. There was a funny breeze hitting my cheeks. I felt light headed. It was almost like I felt when he had focused his violet eyes on mine. I wanted to throw up. My head was starting to pound.
“It’ll be okay now.” He whispered.
Monsters & Fairytales Page 4
