“Well, I guess you were right, Mom.” I whispered, smiling.
A tear fell, and then one more. I was crying because of stress, overload of emotion, and just pure sorrow. She had been so good to me. I had been so close to her. This was Heaven. And the man of my dreams was right there, on the ceiling. I ruined everything. She had deserved life. I should be the one up there alone in Heaven. I'd had nothing going for me before, and I still didn’t. Just one giant let down, that’s me.
The tears quickly got out of control. Not wanting to disturb the other two, I threw myself on my stomach to muffle the cries. Something told me they would have overwhelmed me in love, but I just wanted to be upset right now. Sometimes, people just want to be upset. This was my moment. I quickly sucked in fresh air then dug my face back into the pillow. I let the steady pour of the love for my mother escape me.
“Mirabelle.” Sebastian whispered a few moments later. He sounded close. It startled me.
“What?” I asked. It was barely audible.
“Your sadness is troubling me.”
There was a shift in the mattress and I knew that he was leaning on the bed. With sorrow in my eyes and a dwindling desire to let him see me this way, I looked at him. He was on his elbows, facing me. My insides cringed when I noticed he was in human form. I hated it.
“What do you want?” I blurted out.
“These are tears?” He asked, touching my cheek. A tear fell on his finger. He examined it.
“Yes. You’ve seen me cry before.” I huffed.
“I have?”
He rubbed the tear between his fingers, very interested in it.
“Yes, before I hit you over the head.”
“That explains it.” He laughed.
“Can you really not feel emotions?” I sniffed. My nose was running.
“I can. I just don’t know what the equivalent of ours are to yours. I have never experienced tears, though.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
He leaned back down. I really wanted to get a tissue, but I was far too aware that I was in my underwear.
“Would it be okay for you tell me what it is that gives you such sad emotions? I have felt it hanging over you since we met; I just never felt it was appropriate to ask you.”
“You did ask me. The second time we met.” I said.
“Before the…?” He touched his head.
“Yes.”
“Well, how about you remind me?” He grinned.
I wasn’t taking this as seriously as he wanted me to. I understood.
“It’s for my mother. She passed away about a month ago.”
Suddenly I started crying even more. I really wished that I had just stood up and gotten those tissues. I stuffed my face back into the pillow. It soaked up everything.
“You are very brave.”
He moved my hair behind my ears so he could see some of my face.
“No, I’m not. Someone who is brave wouldn’t be crying and showing weakness.”
I lifted up my head and looked at him again.
“Showing emotion is not even in the slightest a sign of weakness.” He laughed.
“How would you know?” I glared.
“Mirabelle, it’s okay.” He dismissed my attack. I was just upset, he knew that.
“No, it’s not. I miss her so much.”
I threw myself back into the pillow and wrapped my arms in a way so that only my ears were showing.
“I’m not entirely sure what to do to make you feel better, but for some reason I want to hold you. Is this okay?” He asked.
I laughed full of tears and nodded my head. Of course it’d be okay for you to hold me, you stupid beast. That is everything I want and more right now.
He scooted closer on the bed. I rolled on my side and tossed the soaked pillow on the ground. He was very awkward and unsure how to go about it, so I grabbed his hands and wrapped them around me. Then I pulled him down so I could snuggle up into his chest. I didn’t like it. He was in human form. The fake t-shirt and the fleshy arms felt unnatural.
“Just a second.” He said.
I watched him stand up and shake the human form off of him. I blushed. He was listening to my wants. I didn’t care. This was much better. He crawled back onto the bed and I threw myself onto him. He grunted with the impact. He fumbled for a few moments trying to fix his wings, and then he put his arms back around me. It was perfect.
I loved the way I felt in his velvet arms. He tightened his grip, acknowledging that he agreed. I squeezed my eyes closed. It was all I could do not to kiss him. Everything in me wanted to kiss him. I should have kissed him.
“I can hear your heart more clearly right here.” He whispered.
He nuzzled the side of my head with his shaggy, clawed fingers. I loved him. There was no denying it anymore.
“You love her more than anyone.”
It was finally that moment I had been looking for. I hadn’t even known I was looking for it. But when he spoke those words, my body felt a pull in his direction so strongly, I couldn’t breathe without him. The sincere modesty when he knew damn well my heart was full of him right was beyond anything I had ever known. We both knew that my mother held precedence no matter what, but there was this different part of my heart that was open now. Sebastian had opened it. He belonged there. I should have kissed him again. I couldn’t. I wasn’t brave, I was a coward. I closed my eyes tightly again and rested back in his chest.
“She loves you, too. You know that, right?” He said.
I rested on my elbow and looked at him. There was a stream down the side of his cheek.
“You’re crying?” I whispered touching the spot.
“I want to kiss you. Is this okay?” He whispered touching my hand.
I nodded. I felt like I was going to throw up again. But then he was leaning forward and our lips were touching. There was a spark, a strange and cooling spark. I wanted more of it. I wrapped my hand behind his head and kissed him with every ounce of love I felt for him. For someone who knew no emotions, he was completely passionate. It was exactly how I imagined a first kiss was supposed to be. Joe had nothing on him.
Sebastian gently pulled away. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to continue kissing him for the rest of my life. It was so perfect. He was perfect. I was such an idiot for taking this long to realize it. He kissed my forehead. He was probably kissing my thoughts. I was glad he was a mind reader. He should’ve kissed my lips again, though. Rather, we cuddled back up to one another. I smiled through my tears. This is what it felt like when everything that could go wrong, went right.
That’s called
anger.
((the struggles of our destiny prove our worth))
There was a warm feeling on my back. It wasn’t burning, but it was close to it. I wiggled myself to try to make it move, but nothing happened. Blinking my eyes open, the white of the room temporarily blinded me. I saw the veins in my eyes then that red-black color of the inside of your eyelids. Slowly the white became clear. When I took a breath of cold, fresh air, I was completely awake. There was a crisp aroma floating around. My stomach started talking its language.
Smacking my lips and swallowing the saliva that was now building up, I attempted to look around. The curtains were open. The sun was far brighter than I had remembered it being. I grunted again and then yawned like a cat.
“Morning.” Carlyle said in a gay manner.
It was very loud and ringing, it made my body jump. Well, it made my body tense. Sebastian was still sleeping with me. He had his arms wrapped so tightly around me that I couldn’t move. How I hadn’t stopped breathing in the middle of the night was beyond me.
Funny noises came out of my mouth as I tried to see Carlyle behind me. He was standing next to the table near the windows. There was a griddle type thing in front of him that he was cooking on. He smiled widely at me then turned back to the food.
Letting my body snap into place, I thought
of the best way out of this. When wiggling out of his arms or tapping on him didn’t work, I realized it was going to take some force. Preparing myself, I took a deep breath and then pushed with all my might against him. He didn’t budge an inch. My cheeks slightly rosied up and my stomach toppled with butterflies at the thought of kissing him awake. I resisted with more effort than I had used to push out of his arms. But something told me Carlyle would not be a fan of that kind of display of affection. Something also told me that last night may’ve been a one-time thing. I was feeling vulnerable; he had just been going by what I wanted to make me feel better.
Pushing one more time, Sebastian’s arms finally gave. He went flying off the bed. I quickly rolled over, looking down to check on him. In seconds he jumped back up.
“Oh.” I gasped. His head knocked the wall.
“What?!” Sebastian screamed.
Sebastian looked at the bed, then he looked at me. He rubbed the top of his head.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yes, I’ll be fine.” He said.
He seemed confused. I was confused; how would he, the heavier one, be the one to go flying off the bed?
“You sure?” I laughed.
I sat up and tucked the covers around me.
“Fine. What happened?”
He looked around again.
“She pushed you off the bed.” Carlyle laughed.
“I did no-well, it wasn’t on purpose.”
Forgetting he had been there, but glad he wasn’t jealous, I playfully glared at Carlyle.
“I saw the whole thing.” Carlyle smiled.
“Lies.” I whispered.
“Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. Mirabelle, I went ahead and gathered you new clothes. I hope you don’t mind, but I checked the size of your human clothes to make sure these new ones would fit.”
He pointed to the chair at the foot of the bed. There was a pile of clothes laying on it. It was a wonderful sight.
“Oh, thank you.” I smiled.
Sebastian moved and went over to where Carlyle was. He sat on the other side of the table poking at the food on the griddle. I gathered the sheet more tightly and stood up. Fidgeting for a second, I got the clothes in my hands. I was so relieved when at the bottom was a towel. Carlyle, you’re my hero.
I shot off towards the bathroom. Oh, a shower would be so perfect at that moment. I probably smelt so awful to them. I knew I had only showered yesterday, but something made it feel like it had been years.
I threw the clothes on the counter and started the water. When I stepped into the steam, I was instantly reminded of my leg. That thing was a constant distraction to the good things. Well, the bandage is wet now, no going back. Clutching my hand into a fist, I ripped it off. Surprisingly, it wasn’t bleeding anymore. It was still bruised to hell and back, but it seemed to be healing nicely.
Now it was time to focus on cleanliness. I closed my eyes and stuck my head under the water. It was perfect. I felt a million times more relaxed. This is what I had needed, not sleep.
There was only a bar of soap and some shampoo stuff; I didn’t mind even though it had no smell to it. Cleanliness was cleanliness. Anything had to be better than the nasty smell I imagined I was exuding. There weren’t any razors, either. I checked my underarms. This seemed to be another excellent reason I was glad to be a blonde; other than the ease of dying my hair, of course. For now, all those small hairs that had broken through the surface of my skin, weren’t noticeable. However, if I had been a brunette, then everyone would be able to tell.
I felt bad for brunettes. Stupid society, making it seem like it was the worst thing in the world to go a day without shaving.
After rinsing the soap off, I set it down in its holder. Something fell. I bent down and picked up a razor. That was crazy. This place just emitted what I needed. It reminded me of when I was back at home and needed clothes. They'd just kept appearing at my want. Had Sebastian been the cause of it all? He did have some magic. I shrugged my shoulders. Whatever was causing it, I super grateful.
I was done in no time. I felt so clean and pretty again. I dried myself off with the towel and examined the clothes Carlyle had gotten me. He had done well. He had actually gotten me three sets of outfits. One set was a skirt, another was shorts, and the third was jeans. I didn’t mind wearing jeans again, but I wasn’t sure what the temperature would be like outside. I had the feeling it’d be another perfect day. The shorts were cuffed and stopped more at my middle thighs than my normal shorts would have. I went with those. I took the V-neck shirt from the jeans pairing. It was white, plain, and a little loose. Seemed like it would be breezy enough for whatever the weather may be. I wanted to keep my undershirt, though, just in case.
I examined myself in the mirror. It was definitely an outfit I’d have in my closet. Someone knocked on the door interrupting me. I had completely forgotten about breakfast. Had I taken too long?
“Yes?” I called out.
“Uh, what are you doing?” Carlyle asked.
“I’m so sorry. I was just taking a quick shower. I am almost done changing. I’ll be out in a second!” I assured him.
“Okay. I just wanted to make sure breakfast didn’t get cold.” He said.
I heard him walk off and mumble something to Sebastian. I wondered if I’d ever learn their language. Never in a day, of course. I needed to hurry.
Kissing my wrist, I was thankful that I always wore the hair tie with the bobby pins. I lifted my hands up to fluff my hair, and realized that I would need deodorant, too. Would this place have some? My purse, I’d have some in there. Oh right, I had left my purse at the arcade. I really hoped they just put it in a lost and found box or that Joe found it and recognized the driver’s license. I guess it was a good thing I never carried checks or credit cards. There was about $100 in cash, but everything else was replaceable. More important things, Sebastian was right.
I closed my eyes and thought really hard for deodorant. When I opened my eyes, there was perfume, deodorant, and lotion on the counter. I guess the magic of this place wasn’t sure what smell-good item I wanted in particular. I was just glad the actual bar of body stink repellent was in the mix.
Running the towel through my bangs to dry them, I sort of wanted to think for a blow dryer. I was going to put my hair up, but it looked good down and wet. When it’d dried, I’d throw it up in a ponytail. I was already taking too long. There were more important things. That was a good motto. Sebastian should definitely look into copyrighting it or something.
I hung the towel up on the back of the door and walked out. Carlyle and Sebastian sat upright instantly. Did they think I’d judge them for slouching? The closer I got to them, I realized that they were sniffing the air more so than worrying about etiquette.
“What is that?” Sebastian asked, sniffing again.
“Cleanliness?” I joked.
“It’s-it’s almost like an abundance of flowers.” Carlyle commented.
I smelled my arm. That stuff in the shower had had no fragrance. What were they smelling?
“I have no idea what you guys are talking about.” I said.
I sat down in an empty chair next to the table. All I could smell now was the food. Carlyle set a plate in front of me and opened the platter to bacon, eggs, sausage, and toast with jelly, hash browns, waffles, and pancakes. It was the greatest breakfast buffet I had ever seen. My entire mouth swelled up with saliva, I was starving. I looked on the table for silverware, but there wasn’t any. I didn’t mind. I picked up one of the waffles and took a bite.
I didn’t even notice Carlyle standing over me until he took a deep breath. I looked up at him questioningly. He opened the window in front of us and wafted some air in. He took another breath, and then he was standing over me again. I swallowed my waffle and smelled the air myself. It was lighter and fresher here. I'd had no idea that air was capable of feeling lighter. It made my head a bit dizzy, but I dealt with it.
“It’
s you!” Carlyle exclaimed. He scared me with his enthusiasm.
“What?”
I picked up the waffle I had dropped with caution. Thankfully, it had landed on the plate.
“Why did you not smell this way yesterday?”
Carlyle wafted the air above my head towards him again. I shooed his hand away, it was weird.
“It’s almost...delightful.” Sebastian closed his eyes, breathing.
“Not you, too, get out of here.”
I ducked and protected my head. I just wanted to eat my food.
“I don’t…understand. It’s as if…you’re desirable.” Sebastian said between sniffs.
“My towel is hanging up in the bathroom, go knock yourself out.” I laughed.
“I’m serious!” Sebastian said.
“Where is it?” Carlyle yelled. He had actually gone to the bathroom to find my towel.
“Oh, stop it!” I laughed.
“I finally understand what it is about you humans. If I were a man in your world, I would find you irresistible.” Sebastian said.
“You were a man in my world. Are you saying you didn’t find me irresistible then?” I teased.
“Oh you know what I meant, if I were a natural human.” Sebastian smiled.
“Ah, okay.”
“I like it.” He whispered.
He reached out and rubbed my hand. I blushed. I wanted to kiss him again. Maybe last night hadn’t just been a spur of the moment thing? I had a level head now and we were still acting as if we wanted to be together. My heart was fluttering just thinking about him holding me again. Yes, I still love him. Does he still love me?
Carlyle sat down to my left. I had Sebastian on my right, a wonderful plate of food in front of me, and the greatest view out the windows surrounding us. It was remarkable. I could see past the gates from this vantage point. There were no signs of gray trees or aluminum cities. I saw beautiful, soft buildings and houses. Not to mention, I saw color everywhere. It made the breakfast all the more perfect. Silverware would have helped just a smidge, but I managed to slide the eggs onto the bread, layer some bacon and sausage, and eat it as a most superb sandwich.
Monsters & Fairytales Page 23
