“Who am I to argue with the boss?”
I pull her close and nibble the side of her neck. “That’s right. I am your boss and don’t you forget it any time soon.” She squeals and I shush her. “Keep it down or the whole office will know we’re in here fooling around.”
“I can’t help it. Your scruff against my neck sends me into orbit. It’s an instant panty melter.”
I lift her skirt. “Ooh. I want to see what that looks like.”
She pushes my hand and her skirt down. “You are sooo bad.”
“And you love it.”
“Yeah, I sorta do.” She gets up from my lap. “I have one thing I need to take care of with Marilyn on the Geyser contract before we bolt for freedom. And don’t forget you have a meeting with the mean ole twat this afternoon. You’ll need to move it.” The insubordination meeting.
Rose knows my schedule better than I do. “Right. I forgot about that.”
I hate to not get that out of the way but I’d rather spend the rest of the afternoon with my girl. It can wait until next week.
Twenty minutes later, I’m shutting down my computer and tying up a few loose ends when Wendy barrels into my office—of course, without knocking. So irritating. She’s always thought she had the right to barge in anytime she wants. “Yes, Wendy. How may I help you?”
“Helen just called to move our meeting for this afternoon to next week.”
“That’s right. I’m leaving the office early and I won’t be in tomorrow either.”
“You’re always leaving the office early. Or leaving for days or weeks at a time.”
This is getting really old, really fast with her. “I’m the boss, which means I get to do whatever I like. I’m not obligated to answer to you or anyone else in this firm.”
“You just don’t get it. There was a time when no woman walked all over you. But that girl is playing you for a fool. And you’re letting her.”
“That’s not a very wise thing to say to your boss about his girlfriend.”
“Your girlfriend.” She laughs. “You never called me your girlfriend.”
“Because that’s not what you were.”
Her eyes are shooting all kinds of daggers in my direction.
“I don’t want to see her use you, Bash.”
“Don’t call me that.” That name is reserved for Rose.
“You have no idea how sickening it is to sit back and watch that little gold digger sink her claws into you.”
“Rose isn’t a gold digger.” Rose is the complete opposite of a gold digger. She doesn’t care about money or material things. I can’t say the same about Wendy.
“You don’t give her expensive, luxurious gifts? Dress her in the finest clothes? Give her money?”
Rose asks for nothing. Everything I give to her, I give freely because I want her to have it. “The things I give her are none of your business.”
“She’ll take you for everything she can and then she’ll be onto the next sucker. It’s the way those kinds of girls work.”
Wendy loves arguing. She should have been a lawyer. “I’m not debating this with you.”
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Such a lie.
“No, you just want to stir trouble between Rose and me, but it stops here and now. No more demeaning remarks to or about her. No more attempts to convince me I should be in your bed. No more insubordination. Another incident and you’re out of here.”
This is not the way I planned on doing this. I wanted to be professional but, damn, she pushed my buttons, insulting Rose the way she did.
“She’s in my life to stay. She’s not going anywhere, and if you can’t work here beside her without causing problems then you need to go now.”
Speechless. The woman actually has nothing to say.
“I’ll be out of the office tomorrow and Monday.” Based on the way I felt after our last trip, I might need another day. “Maybe Tuesday too. I’ll need you to take care of the final arrangements for the Halston sale.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re dumping that job on me?”
“Careful, Wendy. I’m serious about what I said.”
Wendy narrows her eyes and her jaw stiffens. “Yes. Sir.”
Rose returns at the same time Wendy spins around to storm out. “Have a great weekend with your boyfriend.”
Rose steps out of her way and looks at me with wide eyes. “That wasn’t Wendy’s happy face. But then again, I’m not sure Wendy has a happy face. I’ve never seen it.”
Rose’s humor and upbeat attitude never fails to amaze me.
“She’s pissed off; we had an impromptu meeting about her behavior. Wendy shouldn’t give you any more problems, or me, unless she wants to be looking for another job.”
“Wow. Boss man doesn’t play. Me likey.”
“Well, boss man was tired of her shit. You done for the day?”
“Yup. Ready to roll if you are.”
Chapter Twenty-One
__________________________________
Rose Middleton
∞
I’m sitting on the exam table, wringing my hands, bouncing my leg and biting my bottom lip. I’m pretty sure I taste blood.
“You’re back to have an IUD placed, Miss Middleton?”
“Actually, my boyfriend and I talked about it and we’ve decided I should get on the pill instead.”
“Okay. Not a problem.”
Except there is a problem.
Butterflies dance in my stomach as I prepare to say the words I’ve uttered to no one. “But I haven’t gotten my period since the implant was removed.”
“How many days late?”
“Five.” Five days of worry. Dread. Panic. I probably could have avoided all of this stress the past several days if I had done a home pregnancy test. But I’m too afraid. I’ve never been this late.
And Bastien has no idea.
“We need to do a pregnancy test to confirm you’re not pregnant before Dr. Reynolds starts you on the pill.”
I follow the nurse down the hall to the bathroom, every step making my heart speed a little faster. She writes my name on the plastic cup in her hand. “Put your specimen in the window when you finish and I’ll meet you back in your exam room with the results.”
Freaking. Out. So. Hard. I’m not sure I can squeeze a drop out of my bladder. Please, pee. Don’t fail me now.
The person looking back at me in the mirror as I wash my hands is pale as a ghost. “Come on, karma, fate, or whatever. Please let this test be negative.”
I return to the exam room when I finish and I’m numb. In a daze. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I’m pregnant.
Bastien will freak out. Like seriously come apart.
This is bad. Very bad.
Agony, I’m in a good place with Bastien. Don’t mess this up for me.
Maybe my cycle is off because of the implant and the emergency contraceptive pill combination. I bet that’s it. Hopefully. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all that stuff.
My heart is beating out of my chest when the nurse returns. “No birth control pills for you today. You’re pregnant.”
My face suddenly goes cold, yet I feel hot flashes, and I feel woozy. “Are you okay, hon?”
“No.” I’m not at all okay. “I think I need to lie down.”
I fall backward on the exam table, flat on my back, and she instructs me to turn onto my left side. “Slow deep breaths.”
Dizzy. Short of breath despite my gasps. Spots in front of my eyes. The same as when I realized I’d been drugged and raped by the monster of my dreams. “I think I’m going to pass out.”
“You’re hyperventilating, sweetheart. Slow your breathing, and you’ll feel better.”
I take slow, deep breaths, and after a moment, I begin to feel a little more like myself.
“We need to figure out how far along you are. When was your last period?”
“The twenty-seventh.”
She twis
ts the plastic wheel in her hand. “That makes you somewhere between five and six weeks. Just barely pregnant.”
That can’t be right. “We didn’t have sex five or six weeks ago.”
“You count the pregnancy from the first day of your last period. Don’t ask me why it’s calculated that way. Technically, you got pregnant about three to four weeks ago. You’ll need an ultrasound to confirm your dates.”
“Can the urine test be wrong?” Please say yes.
“We occasionally see a false positive but that’s pretty rare.”
Please let this be that rare occasion.
“I’ll let Dr. Reynolds know. He’ll probably order an ultrasound. He likes to document the pregnancy as early as possible so your due date is accurate.”
Ultrasound. Pregnancy. Due date.
I came to this appointment expecting to get a prescription for birth control pills. Not this. Never this.
The nurse steps out and returns a few minutes later. “Radiology is going to work you in but it could be a while. You have time to call the baby’s father if you want him to be with you during the ultrasound.”
“No.” Absolutely not.
I hold out hope this is all a false positive, but I already know in my heart it isn’t. This is happening.
“Take off your bottoms and wrap this sheet around your waist. A tech will be in to do your scan as soon as they can work you into the schedule.”
I lie on the exam table for about an hour before a woman arrives to do the ultrasound. “Miss Middleton?”
I rise to a sitting position. “Yes.”
“So sorry for your wait. We’re pretty busy this morning.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m Lacey. I’m going to be doing your ultrasound.”
She spends several minutes confirming my patient information and entering it in the computer on the machine. “By your dates, you’re early in the pregnancy. I’ll try scanning your tummy with the external wand first.”
As opposed to what? I’m too afraid to ask.
She pulls the sheet down, squeezes warm gel on my stomach, and presses the wand against my belly. She rocks it back and forth. “I don’t see anything inside the uterus.”
“I’m not pregnant?” Thank God. Thank. God.
“You may not be far enough along for me to see it with the external wand. I’ll need to use the vaginal probe.”
I don’t like the sound of that at all.
She trades the triangular wand for a condom-covered rod. Do not like the look of that.
“Relax your legs.”
I close my eyes and try to relax when she inserts the probe inside me. “You’re going to feel pressure.”
No. Freaking. Joke.
“I’ll take measurements of your uterus first.”
Every little movement makes me feel like I’m going to pee on myself. “Doing okay?”
“Yes.” No. I’m not doing okay at all.
I close my eyes and stare into the blackness, pretending this isn’t happening. “Okay. All done with the uterine measurements.”
She angles the probe upward and presses. “Ah, there he is. He’s hiding from us.”
I open my eyes and look toward the screen. “Show me.”
She points to the monitor. “This tiny little white area. That’s your baby.”
It doesn’t feel real. “Are you sure?”
“Very. The measurement puts you at five weeks plus four days. That correlates with your last menstrual period so baby is growing right on schedule.”
“It looks healthy?”
“Still very early but all looks well from what I can see today.”
I stare at the white oblong circle on the screen, mesmerized that I’m looking at the beginning of a human being. A little person that Bastien and I created together.
Part of him.
Part of me.
Our baby.
She tears a printout from the machine and hands it to me. “All done. You can change back into your bottoms.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Congratulations.”
Congratulations?
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
***
“Where’s Vale?”
“The mirrored hall with one of the new Duets. First day.”
Vale doesn’t like being interrupted on day one with a new girl, but I have no choice. This is an all-out emergency.
I open the door and Vale whirls around, ready to let me have it. Until she sees it’s me. Until she sees the look on my face.
“Hailey, I need to step away for a minute. Keep practicing. You have a long way to go.”
I recall my early days with Vale. Eat healthily. Sleep eight hours. Work out with a trainer. Be clever and look beautiful. Things were so much simpler then.
“I’m sorry to interrupt.”
“It’s okay, honey. Something wrong?”
Yes. Something is very wrong. “Can we talk in your office?”
“Of course.”
“You should probably get Ericka to come in and help the new girl. You’re going to be gone a while.”
“You’re scaring me. Has something happened to B?”
“He’s fine.” For the moment anyway. I’m sure that will change once I tell him this news.
Vale looks at her new Duet. “Keep practicing. Ericka will come in and work with you while I’m gone.”
I burst into tears the moment Vale closes the door. “Oh, honey. What is going on?”
I don’t know how to articulate the words—two simple words—and I can’t bring myself to say them.
“Is B trying to end the relationship again?”
“No. Things are good between us. Very good.” Or they were.
“Then what’s going on?”
Breathe in. “I’m pregnant.”
Vale’s mouth spreads into a huge smile. “Oh, that is wonderful news.”
What is she talking about? This isn’t wonderful news at all. “No, it’s not. Bash is going to be very upset.”
“Yes. He will probably be upset initially, but he’ll come around after he’s had time to think about it and realize how incredible this is.” Vale puts her palms together and holds them over her mouth. “Baby Pascal. I had decided it would never happen. Especially after he told me about his ALS and making those idiotic plans.”
Vale and I don’t share the same opinion on this. She didn’t hear him tell me that having a baby wasn’t an option. “I don’t think he’s going to be happy about this at all.”
“B has always wanted a family.”
She doesn’t understand. “He wanted a family before the ALS. His diagnosis changed everything. He doesn’t want a baby anymore.” He was painfully clear about it.
“Well, it’s done now.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to tell him.”
“The first thing you do is stop building this up to be the end of the world. It’s not. You’re having Bastien’s baby. It’s a blessing. The second thing you do is make sure the timing is right. Do it when he’s relaxed and not stressed about work or his health. The third thing is to tell him with confidence. No boohooing like you’re afraid you’ve done something wrong. Show him you’re happy about this baby, and he should be too.”
She knows Bastien but I believe she’s wrong. I don’t think he’ll cope with this.
“I’m not confident. I’m terrified.”
“All you’ve done is talk about the way Bastien is going to feel. He isn’t the only person this affects. Tell me what’s going on in your heart and head.”
I wish I knew. “I’ve barely had time to absorb it. I don’t know how I feel.”
“Do you want this baby?”
“I think so. Maybe. I don’t know.”
“I was pregnant once. I wanted to keep the baby but the guy I was with didn’t. It took a couple weeks but he eventually talked me into an abortion. I didn’t want to do it, but I gave in bec
ause I loved him and wanted to make him happy. I had the abortion on Thursday, and he left me on Friday. It’s a decision I’ve always regretted. That’s why you need to listen to what your heart is telling you.”
I love Vale. The thought of what she must have felt after being abandoned by the father of her baby breaks my heart. Such a betrayal. “I’m sorry.”
“You know how much I love B, but you can’t do what he wants because it makes him happy. You need to follow your heart.”
“That’s the problem. I can’t hear what my heart is saying because all I can think about is his reaction.”
“You don’t have to tell him today. Take some time to think about it. See where your head is in a few days. A week. Take as long as you need to figure this out for yourself before he gives you his opinion.”
Bastien knows me inside and out. He’s going to take one look and know something is up. “I don’t know how I’ll go home and look at him without bursting into tears.”
“You pull yourself together and do what you have to do.” Easier said than done.
“He’s going to ask me how my appointment went. He always does.” I’ve never lied to Bastien about anything and I don’t want to start now.
“Keep it general. It’s okay to say it went fine without going into detail.”
“Oh, Vale. We’ve never had a general conversation about birth control. We’ve discussed it in great detail because preventing a pregnancy is so important to him.”
Bastien’s ringtone plays inside my purse. “Oh, God. I can’t talk to him right now.”
Vale reaches for my purse and hands it to me. “He knows you’ve been to the doctor. He’ll worry if he doesn’t talk to you sooner rather than later. Get yourself together and take his call.”
I know Vale is right. I can’t avoid him. “Hey.”
“Hey, baby girl. Just checking on you. Haven’t heard from you since your appointment. Wanted to make sure everything went okay.”
“I’m fine.” I look at Vale and she gives me an encouraging nod. “Just decided to run by and see Vale before coming to the office.”
“I had to meet with a client about a property so I’m out of the office. Do you want to meet me for lunch before coming in to work?”
Dear Agony Page 18
