“Do you think we’re safe here?” Marin said, from her position behind a curtain.
“Oh, yes. There’s only one person they’re interested in tonight, and he’s not a human,” Freya said, unable to keep the satisfaction out of her voice.
*
Xander was observing from a distance, standing by the window of his cabin, letting the anger work itself out. As a breeze picked up, blowing in from Broken Hill, he scented his brother, far back in the woods. He went to the fridge, took out a beer, opened it, and waited.
At last, the kitchen window opened and Maximus clambered through, landing heavily on the tiled floor. Xander turned his head, prepared for anything and everything.
Maximus came up to him slowly. His skin had an ashen tone, and his eyes were dull.
“You beat me. You used my own game against me. Congratulations, brother.” He held out his hand and Xander gripped it very firmly, suspecting that it could be a trick. But Maximus merely shook his hand, with less power than he’d ever known from him. Xander looked deep into his eyes, trying to see his soul, trying to know what lay beneath. He saw only defeat. Maximus smirked.
“I should have known better than to have pitted my brains against yours. You’re stronger than me, little brother. And smarter than me too. I have nothing left.”
Xander finally knew that he was speaking the truth and a wave of guilt welled up inside him. He had taken everything from his older brother, it was true. Knowing that Maximus hadn’t helped himself didn’t make him feel much better. He clamped his arms around Maximus and hugged him hard, his eyes becoming glassy.
“You’re going to expel me now, aren’t you?” Maximus said flatly. There was no challenge left in him.
“I think it’ll be better if you leave for a while,” Xander said, glancing at the glow from the flaming torches showing in the windows. “You’re my brother. I’d never banish you, but I can’t guarantee your safety right now. And for the time to come, our main priority is going to be mitigating the damage done by losing our three to the Black Paws.”
“It’s okay. I’m with you. I need some time to think anyway and reassess my priorities,” Maximus said. “So long, little brother. I’ll be in touch.”
He left via the kitchen window. Five minutes later, Xander heard the roar of his motorbike, and he knew he was gone.
He allowed himself 15 minutes to grieve, and then he went to speak to the clan.
All night, Xander lay awake in his lonely bed, his heart aching for his broken relationship with his brother. He looked at the empty side of the bed and wished so badly that Freya was there with him, lying in his arms so soft and vulnerable, but comforting him, knowing exactly the right things to say to him. He was a very smart and self-sufficient person and he knew himself very well, but she made him even more complete than he thought was possible.
When he stepped outside the following morning, after having slept for no more than a couple of hours, he was overjoyed to catch sight of her, jogging in the early morning sun. He bounded over to her, desperate to speak to her, then checked himself. Was he being ridiculous? He was still her captor and maybe she didn’t want to celebrate with him.
But when she saw him, she turned her head and grinned, her features so soft and lovely in the pinkish dawn light.
“You’re still Alpha, then?” she called.
“Looks that way,” he replied, catching up to her.
“Well done. I was proud of you last night.” His heart beat fast beneath his ribs.
“You were?”
“Yes. You showed you have what it takes to be a leader.” She stopped speaking while she accelerated down a small slope. “So how does it feel?”
“It feels like I need a couple of hours off after the craziness of the past two weeks. I was wondering if you would maybe go on a date with me today? I need to speak to someone who understands me, and I feel like you’re the only one I can relax with.” She did a double take.
“A date? For real?”
“We could have a picnic, go someplace secluded,” he stuttered, growing increasingly uncertain.
“I’d like that,” she said, and stopped running. As he came closer, she lifted her chin up and he dipped his head and met her soft, full lips with his own. A million birds seemed to burst into song. “I’ll come by at around 1?”
“Perfect,” he said happily.
*
Just before 1pm, Freya snuck away from the cabin building project and walked over to Xander’s cabin. Her heart was skittering with excitement at the thought of the date. This is so weird and wrong, a little voice in her head told her, but she was determined to push those thoughts aside, just for today. She, Marin and Eloise had decided to build the cabin for sanity’s sake. It was something they’d discussed long and hard. As much as their hearts rebelled against the notion of creating a permanent home, as if it signaled defeat and an acceptance that they were never going to leave, their logical side told them that trying to be as normal as possible and keeping themselves busy would keep them sane, and lead the clan to trust them, so when they found an opportunity to escape, they’d be able to take their captors by surprise. So, as much as it terrified her, Freya was approaching the date in the same way. She’d already allowed herself the incredible, unbelievable pleasure of sex with Xander, and now she was going to enjoy a little romance. To be fair, it wasn’t the first time she’d had a romantic experience with him. In the aftermath of each of the three times they’d had sex, there had been something that was more than physical pleasure. The last time, when they had sex in the forest, she hadn’t been able to tear herself away from him. She’d wanted to go back to his cabin, climb between his sheets, and spend hours caressing his muscular body while he wrapped his arms around her, and told her that she was safe. She’d never felt like that with men before. All of her previous dating attempts had felt like business transactions – two people who had a need, using each other to satisfy it. And she was well aware that it was because she never allowed herself to get close to anyone. But with Xander, it was different. As much as she knew she shouldn’t, she wanted to let down her barriers, allow him to know the real her. If only fleetingly.
Xander met her at his front door with a big grin on his face.
“One moment,” he said, darting back inside. He returned seconds later carrying a cooler and two rolled up mats. “I thought we could go back to the clearing. If you liked it there?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling, thinking of the happy memories the place had for her.
The sun burned hot, high in the sky, but the dappled woods were blissfully cool. They walked side by side, chatting about the cabin she was building. She sensed that he wanted to save the serious conversation until they were sitting down. Half way there, he reached out, tentatively, and grasped her hand with his fingertips. Startled, she almost pulled away, but just in time, she uncurled her fingers, and suddenly they were holding hands. Her heart beat fast, and she felt herself trembling, overwhelmed by a feeling that was completely novel to her. She imagined the two of them, out in public in the human world, walking the streets of some big city, he holding her hand; all the envious glances she’d get from other women, and how proud she’d be to be his girl. In her peripheral vision, she saw that he kept stealing glances at her. She pretended not to notice, but inside she was glowing.
They’d arrived at the clearing and she inhaled the damp, green air. It held a scent that was a little different from the rest of the forest – somehow sweeter and more fragrant. Xander unrolled the mats.
“Take a seat, please,” he said, his eyes sparkling. She had the sense that he was also doing something that was very unusual for him. He opened the cooler, took out two beers and passed one to her. And then he pulled out a huge amount of food in plastic containers. It was mostly barbecued meat, but there was also a green salad and a potato salad. When he’d laid out all of the food, refusing her offers of help, there was a flicker of anxiety in his eyes.
“Is this
okay?” he said. “I’m not that accustomed to going on dates.” Her chest flooded with warmth, and she suppressed the desire to laugh, out of pure happiness.
“It’s perfect,” she said. “And me neither.” His eyebrows shot up.
“I find that very hard to believe.” She glanced down at the floor, unsure how to explain herself, but he reached out with a callused finger and lifted her chin. There was tenderness and desire and possessiveness in his eyes. His mouth was hard on hers, his tongue hungrily seeking out her own. When he finally pulled away, she felt breathless, as if he’d drawn all the air out of her lungs.
“If you were my mate, I’d take you on a date at least once a week,” he said in a husky voice. “I’d make sure that you were the happiest female ever.” Her throat tightened with sadness. Sadness that this date was make believe, and that tomorrow, he’d still be her captor and she’d still be trapped in Broken Hill, unable to leave. Now felt like a beautiful dream.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” she said curtly, needing to change the subject. The softness left his eyes and was replaced by sadness.
“My brother, leaving the clan,” he said.
“What happened exactly? We saw a lot of commotion, and heard the clan shouting your names, so I figured out that you’d taken my advice, but I think there was a lot we missed.” Xander nodded gravely.
“Maximus accepted that he was beaten, and he saw how much anger was being directed toward him, so he left of his own accord.”
“Will he ever come back?”
“I don’t know,” Xander replied, voice thick with misery. “Shifters get over their anger, so the clan will forgive him eventually. But I’m not sure he can get over his. He’s so mad at me. He hates me on a very deep, primal level. I saw it last night when he left more clearly than ever before. The way he sees it, I’m the younger son and I beat him. He can’t see that being the Alpha is a responsibility far more than a privilege. I’m the winner, he’s the loser, and that’s it.”
“But where will he go?” Freya said, her heart aching with sympathy for his pain. He shrugged.
“I really have no idea. His life has always been here. He’s barely ever left these hills. Maybe he’ll go off on his own for a while, into the human world. But I can imagine him getting into trouble with his temper there. A lot of trouble.” Freya laid her hand on his thickly-muscled forearm.
“You’ve done all you can. It sounds like he needs some thinking time. I’m sure he’s still grieving for your father as well. Maybe it’ll do him good not to have to think about the clan for a while.” Xander’s lips curved into a small smile.
“You’re so good at knowing how to make me feel better, Freya. I couldn’t have coped with the past few days without you. I owe you so much.”
“I was just saying what came to mind,” she said, with a flicker of self-consciousness. She got up onto her knees laid her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him backward. It was like trying to move a wall of muscle. At first he resisted, laughing. But then he allowed her to push him right down until he was lying flat. She lay down too and inserted herself into the crook of his arm. They stared silently at the canopy of trees for a while, and Freya felt all the tension in her muscles draining away.
“I didn’t know it was possible to feel so relaxed around another being,” Xander said, his voice drowsy.
“You need to let yourself relax and have fun now and then,” she said with a giggle, poking him in the ribs. “If I’d met you in my hometown, I’d make you come to the movies with me and play crazy golf, and go to the fairground and eat way too much cotton candy.” He grinned at her like kid in a candy store. “I’d like to try these things,” he said. “Is hiking fun like that too?”
“It’s kind of fun. But real painful fun. At least for humans.”
“I wish I could take some time out.”
“Maybe you can when the clan is more settled?”
“I don’t know. My father said he never took a day’s vacation in his life. He said he didn’t see the point of it.”
“Even the president of the USA takes vacation now and then. It’s how you de-stress, recharge your batteries and remain a good leader.” Xander still looked doubtful. “It sounds like your father was a good and wise man, but you’ve got to be the leader you want to be,” she said. “Look where making a decision that went against your instincts got you. You’ve got to trust your judgment, or you’ll end up being inconsistent, and your clan won’t respect you.” He squeezed her hand tight.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you so much.” He turned onto his side and she did the same, melting into his arms, and once again she was lost in him.
It was dark by the time they parted. They’d made love all afternoon, chatted, drunk beer, and Freya was woozy with it all. It was too much. Before she left him to walk down the path to her cabin, he said, “come to Rudy’s bar tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be making an announcement about the future of the clan, and you three should be there too.” They kissed one last time. “I don’t want to let you go,” he said, stroking her face, his smoldering eyes on hers.
It would be another 18 hours before she knew what he actually meant.
Chapter Eighteen
The clan greeted Freya, Eloise and Marin a little less suspiciously than before when they arrived at Rudy’s bar the following afternoon. Their faces were becoming familiar at least. Braxton and Ryker had saved a place for them and waved them over and pulled out stools when they arrived. They ordered beers and Marin and Eloise chatted with the guys, but Freya was quiet. All she could think about was seeing Xander again. She was falling for him. She couldn’t help herself. Every time she saw him, he got a little further under her skin. She’d been evasive when she’d gotten home the night before, and sidestepped the girls’ questions about what she’d been doing. She was so torn. Wracked with guilt for not being honest with them, because it looked like she was siding with the enemy, but unable to ignore her growing feelings for Xander.
Voices hushed as he walked into the bar, looking every inch the Alpha. His hair had been growing recently, and he’d slicked it back. His eyes were sparkling and clear, and he glowed with strength and vigor. Freya never grew tired of staring at his powerfully muscled body, the sexy fighting scars that marked his skin here and there.
“Thank you all for coming,” he said, his voice thunderous and clear. “As you know, this clan is still recovering from the great loss of my father. We have all been grieving very deeply, and it has taken us some time to stabilize ourselves. I myself have certainly had a lot to learn. But know, now, that I am the Alpha of this clan. My father ordained it, and I have proved it through the strength of my body and mind. I withstood your mistrust and the repeated attacks from my brother and I’ve emerged stronger than ever. Now I intend to be a fair and humane leader. I intend to look after the clan and make sure that we are more powerful and more prosperous than ever. But I also intend to stand by my judgment and decisions – even if those are different from your expectations. So make no mistake about it – my word is law, and I will not tolerate any dissent. In the beginning of my leadership, your mistrust and the pressure from my brother made me doubt myself, and as a result I banished Deacon, Gunner and Mikal from the clan, when they made a very poor decision regarding these three women here. And I fell right into the trap my brother has set for me when Deacon, Gunner and Mikal joined our most hated rivals. This is a terrible outcome for our clan – and one which I will work hard to minimize the negative impact from. But it is also a very important lesson for me and I intend to never make the mistake of taking a decision which is against my judgment again.” He pointed to Freya, Marin and Eloise. “Freya, Marin and Eloise, you are free to go from Broken Hill. I can no longer, in good conscience, keep you captive here. All I ask is that you allow us to drive you some distance from here, as preserving our privacy remains of utmost importance to us.” Eloise and Marin gasped and jumped to their feet. Several of the clan members st
arted muttering, but he silenced them with the ghost of a roar.
“And one last note,” he continued. “As you may be aware, Maximus has left the clan. He may return at some point. He hasn’t been banished; he left of his own free will. Thank you for your time today.”
Freya, Marin and Eloise ran to him immediately, their faces glowing with disbelief and happiness.
“Do you really mean this?” Freya stared at him.
“Of course. You can leave right now. I’ll have the guys drive you and help you restock your supplies at a convenient place. All I can say is that I’m very sorry that you were abducted, and that you’ve been forced to live here for so long.”
“Let’s get our stuff!” Marin yelled, racing off to their cabin, and Eloise sprinted after her, as if they were worried that he’d change his mind. Freya gave him a long look. She wanted to ask him a hundred questions, but she couldn’t in front of everyone. Xander locked eyes with her, with that familiar intensity that seemed to blaze into her soul. Her lower lip trembled. They were free! She’d never truly believed it would happen; so much so that she felt like she was in shock. What is he thinking? she asked herself. But she knew: he was thinking the same thing that she was – she didn’t want to be parted from him.
“Am I crazy?” she muttered to herself. I should hate him for keeping us here all this time. She shook herself, breaking the tension between them, and headed off after the girls.
They packed quickly, used to assembling their packs in less than ten minutes, and gathered at the end of the pathway that led to their cabin, waiting for their ride.
“Goodbye to our cabin-jail,” Eloise muttered, casting a glance at it over her shoulder.
“Are we going back to the trail?” Marin said, a little wildly. All of their heads were spinning. Freya couldn’t gather her thoughts enough to decide if they should continue, or just head back home.
Bear in the Rough: Bear Shifter Romance (Broken Hill Bears Book 1) Page 15
