I have to know. And she did. If there was a chance in the world that she had a sister out there somewhere, Maddie would scour the ends of the earth looking for her.
That didn't mean, however, that she could continue to forge ahead without talking to Boone. She owed him an apology. Maybe now was as good a time as any. If that light in the barn didn't mean he was awake, she'd turn right around and come back.
But maybe, just maybe, she could settle things down and let each of them get some sleep.
So Maddie ran upstairs and threw on jeans and a shirt, not even bothering with underwear or socks. Then she ran to the barn, grateful for the moonlight that paved her way.
When she walked inside, she heard his voice, talking soft and low. She headed in that direction, stopping only long enough to pat Fancy's head. Fancy nickered to her, and Boone stepped out in the aisle at the noise.
"Hi," Maddie said, throat tight.
"Hi," Boone answered. "Can't sleep?"
She shook her head. "You?"
He gestured with a nod toward the stall. "Full moon tonight. I'm betting Dancer goes into labor."
Silence ensued. Maddie dug one toe in the dirt as she searched for words. "I'm sorry I did a bad job of delivering the news. I never wanted to hurt you. It's clear how much you loved your mother."
Boone shrugged. "There's no easy way to say something like that. I didn't handle it well. I just—I don't know how to feel about that. The woman I knew wanted a dozen children."
"In those days, she was bound to feel she had no choice. If you weren't married, you gave your child up or had a back street abortion. I can't imagine your mother doing that."
Boone shook his head. "No, she would never end a child's life." He stared hard at Maddie. "And it wasn't fair for me to blame your father. You're probably right. Maybe he never knew."
"My grandmother's diary said she left town for seven months before she came back and married your father a few months later."
"Just long enough." Boone shook his head. "I can't imagine that my father had any idea."
"Do you remember the part of his letter that said that there was always a sadness in Jenny?"
Boone nodded.
"Maybe it wasn't losing my father, as Sam thought. Maybe it was the baby." She saw a shadow cross his face. "What is it?"
"Nothing." He shook his head, then suddenly he stopped. "No. That's not true. I accused you of holding back secrets, but I've held back my own."
"You have a right to your secrets. We all do."
Boone studied her, then seemed to make up his mind. "My wife was pregnant when she died with her lover in a sailing accident. She never even told me about the baby. I didn't learn about it until she was gone, when her mother announced it to me after the funeral." The shadow fell across his rugged features again. "I don't know why it hits me so hard. I never knew that child, never held it in my hands. But it still hurts." He looked up. "How much more painful was it for my mother to bear a child and have to give her up?"
Oh, Boone... "I'm so sorry. You would have been a wonderful father."
"I've done a lot of things wrong in my life, but I sure would have tried."
Tears welled in Maddie's eyes, tears for children lost and children unborn, for this son who had lost his father the day his mother died. Tears for a missing brother, a lost sister. So many tears needed, and so little she could do.
"Don't cry, Maddie."
She swiped at her cheeks. "Sorry."
"Nothing to apologize for. You have a tender heart." Then Boone's arms surrounded her and held her close. Maddie nestled into his embrace and knew a moment of such piercing longing that she could barely breathe.
No words passed between them, but words weren't needed. Too often, words had driven them apart.
Maddie slid her arms around Boone's wide chest and clung. Then the need for comfort melted like candle wax under the heat of a desire too long denied.
She lifted her head and saw her yearning mirrored in his eyes. "Boone..."
"God, Maddie...I don't want to fight this any longer."
"Then don't," she murmured.
Still he hesitated, so she took the leap for both of them and rose to her toes. Touched her mouth to his.
His caution burned to cinders.
They tumbled into the landscape of their dreams, the forbidden territory they'd skirted for long days and endless nights. Every shadow that separated them faded under the bright glow of one heart's need for another.
Her eager hands joined her eager heart, and she welcomed Boone to all she had, all she was.
Boone thought his own heart would burst as he deepened the kiss, as Maddie's fingers clutched at his back. Body to body, Maddie's curves fit him like a second skin.
He craved to drive into her sweet flesh and lose himself. Grasping for control, he sank his fingers into the heavy silk of her hair. The other hand gripped the tender curve of her hip. When Maddie moaned, he slid his teeth down the long, slender column of her throat, longing to brand her, to mark every inch of her skin. At the tender juncture where pale throat met shoulder, Boone used his mouth to seal Maddie as his.
His. Boone didn't stop to think, to reason out how or why he would make it so.
He simply wanted her, body and soul.
Maddie thrilled at the passion of Boone's strong grip, his fierce possession. She met his hunger, measure for measure.
Boone growled low in his throat, and Maddie smiled. She wanted him crazy, too crazy to think, too far gone to be noble.
They were past the time for noble sacrifices, past the point of logic. Now was the moment, the sacred space for heart to meet body, for flesh to find flesh in naked, greedy hunger. Maddie wanted her hands on Boone, on his bare skin, on the body she'd dreamed of night after lonely night.
With a small cry of desperation, she pulled away to tear at his shirt. While Boone did wicked things to her with lips and teeth and tongue, her fingers fumbled on buttons she could not see. Finally, she wrestled his shirt open, sacrificing a button or two, but she had to touch him—now.
Then she laid her palms on his broad, muscled chest. Both of them gasped. Boone glanced down at her pale hands spread across his golden skin.
Then he smiled, slow and wicked. "My turn."
Maddie licked her lips and scraped her nails lightly across his flesh.
Boone's nostrils flared as he focused on the buttons of her shirt, his fingers turning clumsy in their haste.
Maddie leaned forward and licked a slow stroke across his chest, swirling her tongue around one nipple.
He swore and gripped her shoulders, eyes scorching hot. "I said, my turn." But he smiled as she'd never seen him, a smile so rich with seductive promise that the air vanished from Maddie's lungs.
Boone's own breath seized as he watched her eyes spark in challenge. Then she laughed, that sultry chuckle that had never failed to hit him right in the gut. Her smile dared him to push the edge, to test the borders. Maddie was so valiant with her heart, so unafraid of her passion.
And he was so hard he hurt.
But he was not going to rush this, no matter how his body demanded release, no matter that his insides had turned to pure fire at her touch.
That mouth of hers, that sassy, sexy mouth. If he lived to be a hundred, he would never get enough of Maddie's mouth.
With one last jerk, he sent her buttons flying without apology. "Too many damn buttons," he muttered.
And then fell silent.
"No bra?" he croaked.
Maddie's smile could make a man weep. "No panties, either."
Boone closed his eyes and implored the heavens.
Then Maddie laughed, and Boone was done with patience. He swept her into his arms and bore her away to his makeshift bed. "Better say no now, Maddie. I've waited for you too long."
Maddie mimed a zipper across her lips, then grasped his head between her hands and kissed him. Flames danced from one nerve ending to the next.
"You and that k
issable damn mouth," he muttered. Then his mouth came down on hers.
When he laid her on the bedroll still scented from his body, the hay perfuming the air around them, Maddie thought there could be no more perfect place. The bedroll provided protection from stray stalks of hay, and they were far away from the house and all its memories of sorrow.
Then Maddie thought no more, as Boone's naked chest loomed over her, acres of muscles gained not from a pricey gym but from hard work and honest labor, lightly dusted with golden hair shades darker than that on his head. His belly was hard and ridged, his waist and hips narrow. Her gaze traveled down the fine line of hair on his belly to the blatant evidence of Boone's desire for her.
Never before had anyone wanted her this badly. Never before had anyone brought such raw power to the act of love.
Boone's fingers unsnapped her jeans with one flick, then drew her zipper down slowly. With his tongue, he scorched a trail down her throat, flicking it lightly over the shadowed valley between her breasts, then sliding around the curve of her breast, barely missing her nipple.
Maddie arched toward him, her body pleading to feel him suckle her. She wanted his touch on her, every inch. Urgent fingers gripped his shoulders as he hovered above her breast, waiting. Taunting.
Then Boone retreated, and Maddie wanted to scream.
Until she felt his tongue inside her zipper. Inch by inch, he lowered the tab, sliding one finger beneath to protect tender flesh.
At the bottom he paused.
After agonizing, delicious seconds, he peeled her jeans open.
Then licked one slow glide to the vee.
Maddie couldn't breathe. His tongue halted scant inches away from her aching center. His breath warm on her belly, he swirled one slow, maddening circle through fine tendrils of hair.
Maddie dug her fingernails into his back and arched against him.
And Boone chuckled.
"Boone..." she moaned. "Now."
"Not yet, sweetheart. You're killing me, but I'm not going to rush this." He rose above her.
Gripping her fingers in his hair, she dragged his mouth to hers and swirled her tongue inside the dark heat of his mouth.
Boone took the kiss deeper, wrenching a moan from deep within her. Iron-hard arms wrapped around her, and he took her diving with him into bliss.
Maddie reached between them and slid her hand inside his waistband, curling her fingers around silken, straining flesh. Boone jolted and cursed. Maddie smiled against his mouth.
"God, Maddie. I want you so badly."
"Now, Boone," she pleaded. "I need you now."
In seconds, he had them both naked.
And there he was, poised above her, a golden man whose body wore the scars of a life lived by his wits. Maddie lifted her arms in welcome.
For just one moment, Boone stayed where he was, drinking in the sight of her. Long dark hair tumbled across the makeshift bed where he'd been tossing only minutes before.
So perfect for him. The slender shoulders that bore life's burdens with such cheer, the lush, full breasts more than enough to fill his hands, the narrow waist flaring to form a woman's hips, descending into legs long enough to make a grown man cry.
But what struck Boone like a fist in the chest was more than Maddie's physical beauty, more than any curve of breast or hip or thigh. In the act of love as in all of Maddie's life, it was her generous spirit that made Maddie shine.
Lying on a mound of hay, Maddie could have been the Queen of Sheba...Cleopatra...Delilah. Shining out from Maddie's tempting body was the beauty of Maddie's soul. A man would gladly die for this woman. The darkened hollows of Boone's heart cried out in longing.
He wanted her as he'd wanted no other before her, though he did not kid himself that they would ever have another night.
But if this night was all they had, he would make it one Maddie would never forget.
Arms open in welcome, Maddie watched sorrow sweep over Boone's face. More than she'd ever wanted anything before, she wanted to scare away sorrow, to replace it with joy, to give Boone all that he deserved.
Such a noble man, filled with valor and strength and determination. Life had not been easy on him, but Boone was far harder on himself. Maddie wanted to kiss away his sorrow, put a final seal on his pain. What woman could have misunderstood the treasure inside this man?
Helen had been a fool. Inside this man lay all the riches any woman would need. Maddie wished with her soul that she could make Boone understand. He blamed himself, and he was wrong to do so.
Suddenly Maddie understood that losing Boone would steal a piece of her soul. Fear of the pain to come sent a barb through her heart.
But Boone wouldn't let her retreat. The formidable strength of his will, the raw power of the man, conquered all else. Soon his hands banished doubt, drove away fear. Maddie blossomed under his caress, every nerve springing to life.
He was everywhere, touching every inch of her, refusing to be denied. His tongue slicked her body, his hands cupped her breasts, then slid to her hips and brought her to his mouth.
There he paused and simply inhaled her scent, eyes closed, a low hum in his throat.
When his eyes opened, the heat in them sizzled down her spine. For a long moment, their gazes locked, and the fever inside Maddie became nearly unbearable.
When at last he sealed his mouth to her, Maddie gasped. Restlessly she shifted beneath him as he laid siege to her with soft, slow licks, with clever nips, with a suckling pressure that drew her further and further into the singing, spinning, aching sphere where thought vanished into pure sensation, where she was wild and free and lost in him.
Until he stopped.
For one stunning second, Maddie didn't know where she was.
Then his hair brushed inside her thighs, and that one silken touch catapulted her to a new level of awareness of his broad shoulders parting her thighs, his heat, his power...
With one agonizingly slow glide of satiny tongue, he shot her higher, and just as all air vanished, he suckled at the sweet knot of screaming nerves—
Her back bowed, her world exploded.
She collapsed, her arms falling limp to her sides as she spun in starlight and magic.
Some time later, she opened her eyes. "Oh. My. God."
Boone grinned, but she saw the tension in his face, felt his body taut with unfulfilled desire.
An answering need roared through her. "Now, Boone. I want you inside me."
He rose over her, his hands swift and sure once more—
Then he stopped and swore, his jaw tight with strain. "Hold on." He left her to tear at his jeans. When he finally extracted his wallet from the pocket, he, who was so adept with his hands, fumbled and dropped it once before he finally extracted the small packet. He glanced at her, grinning in triumph.
Then dropped it in the hay beside them.
Both of them groaned aloud. Then frantically searched the straw.
When Maddie's fingers closed on it first, her triumphant smile matched his relieved one.
And they laughed together, a sweet rush of unity after all that had divided them.
"Here." Boone reached for it.
"Oh, let me," Maddie purred. But first she pressed him back and straddled him, using her own tongue to paint a taunting trail over the broad, muscled chest, across the ridges of his belly, down the faint line of hair leading to—
Boone's fingers clenched in her hair. "Sweet hell, Maddie..."
She looked up at him, smiling wickedly. "Only seems fair."
"Give me that—" He reached for the packet.
"Unh-uh." She slipped to the side and bent over him.
And took him in her mouth.
Boone's head went light. "Maddie..." he warned.
She could hear the strain in it. She would have smiled, but she was half-crazed herself.
"Not...now. Maddie...." His voice was a harsh plea.
One long, slow swirl upward and around the head, then—
Boone grabbed her waist in his strong hands and lifted her, reversing their positions, then snatching the condom from her hands. "You are driving me insane, woman."
She laughed.
For a second.
Until, with one stunning thrust, he was inside her.
And Maddie wasn't laughing anymore.
Then it was all heat and speed and power.
Madness. Desire beyond measure.
Boone tried to go slow, but even if he could have, Maddie wouldn't let him, and with every stroke, every dive into the bliss of her body, he lost himself in the magic that was Maddie Rose.
Her eyes went black with desire, spark-shot with longing. His body screamed for release, yet he could not bear for this to end.
"Maddie—" he gasped. I love you.
But the words stayed inside, too new and too tender.
Boone tried to say it with his body instead. Maddie's sweet flesh surrounded him, gloved him like softest velvet. In all his life, he had never felt this sense of belonging.
Hold me tight, Maddie.
As if she'd heard him, she did, wrapping the long legs of his dreams around his waist and pulling him even deeper.
"Maddie...sweet—" He clutched at her and tried to hold on. "I can't wait much longer. I've wanted you too long."
"Don't wait." Maddie dug her fingers into his hair and arched against him, pressing heated kisses against his neck. "Please don't wait."
Soon there was no thought, no reason, nothing but the rush of blood, the press of flesh, the slick heat of body against body, denied too long.
"Come, Maddie. Come with me," he whispered.
Her eyes drifted shut.
"Look at me," he demanded. "I want you to know it's me who's inside you."
Blue eyes could burn with fire, she discovered. Could slice through her, laser-hot.
"I want—" She didn't know what she wanted, except him. More of him. Forever of him.
"I know," Boone answered. "Come with me, sweetheart. Let's make the heavens burn."
With every stroke, Maddie flew higher, losing herself in the wonder of this man. Boone filled her, completed her...made her want to crawl inside his fire and burn to cinders.
And then it was too late for either of them. The fire, so long denied, would be denied no longer.
Love Me Some Cowboy Page 31
