Dodging a group of cowboys studying a pretty mare, she glanced over her shoulder, wondering if he’d followed them. She couldn’t help thinking about Sam. She hadn’t expected to see him today. Though if she’d thought about it at all, she knew he went to stock shows all the time constantly on the lookout for good lines to improve his herd. It would have only been a matter of time before she’d run into him at events such at this.
But she’d like to think she would have been better prepared if she’d had more time. Wishful thinking? Or would time work to ease the uncertainty that filled her? To erase the feelings and emotions that always rose so strongly when she thought about Sam?
Bill scrambled up the small set of bleachers, shaded by a flapping canvas tarp high overhead. Lisa climbed up behind him, glancing around once more to see if she could spot Sam. There were dozens of men milling around. A woman here and there showed the growing change in ranching, which was still predominantly a man’s world. No sign of Sam. She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or not.
The auction went smoothly at least Lisa thought it did. Most of her attention was focused inward. On seeing Sam again and the emotions that churned since he’d spoken her name. Instant heat had flooded through her. Then a vague yearning.
Now fear grew. How serious was he about requesting more time with Joey? She loved her son, wanted to protect him against all of life’s hurt and disappointments. And she for sure didn’t want him growing up as suspicious and distrusting as his father.
But how could she fight the Hallers? Their ranch was prosperous in an era when more and more ranches were folding. Their roots went as deep in Texas soil as her own. And Sam hadn’t fled the scene as she had. He had a solid background while she had lived in three different places in two years and had a total of $173 in savings.
Blindly, she stared at the bull being paraded in front of the crowd waiting to bid for it. She tuned out the drone of the auctioneer. Instead, the years faded and she was that naive twenty-two year old who had been so crazy about Sam Haller, she’d thrown caution to the wind and pursued him until he married her. She’d been dumb, foolish and stupid. All the things she hoped she’d learned from and wouldn’t repeat if she ever decided to take a chance on a relationship again.
But the hurt from their divorce was too fresh even after two years. She had not dated in that time. Devoting herself to her baby, she’d found contentment in making a home for Joey, and in finding out she could work, earn a living, and become a respected member of the adult world on her own.
If she had a magic wand, however, she’d go back and change things. Change herself. Maybe even change the outcome of her marriage.
“The one we want is up next,” Bill said, almost bouncing on the bench.
Lisa smiled, trying to bring herself into the present. She owed her employer her attention. She was lucky to get this job. To find a nice apartment in Fort Worth, only two hours from Tumbleweed. Her parents were thrilled hoping to see more of Joey, their first and so far, only grandchild.
If her sister didn’t marry, Joey would end up being their only grandchild forever, she thought sadly.
When she’d first married Sam, she’d planned on a half dozen boys and girls. She had wanted to fill that rambling old house of his with laughter and joy.
Instead, they fought like cats and dogs.
She wished she could blame him as she had when filing. But with the years apart had come maturity, and the knowledge she’d been equally at fault.
The only purely happy times were when they had been in bed. And she didn’t dwell on those times it hurt too much to know she wouldn’t ever have anything like it again.
Sam had been the sexiest man she’d ever known. That hadn’t changed. And she’d felt like a different person when he focused that blatant male attention on her. His kisses had been pure bliss. His touch had inflamed her instantly. Just thinking about it had her bothered all over again. She shifted on the bleacher and tried to focus on the sale in progress.
Get a grip, she told herself. Seeing him had upset her.
And started her hormones dancing. She needed to concentrate on the threat of his taking Joey, not imagining him reaching out to kiss her, touch her, drive her to the heights of delight with his mouth and hands and body.
Had coming back to Texas been a mistake? Should she have kept her distance? Stayed in Denver? No use second guessing things now. She’d made the move, and she planned to stay in Texas.
She’d been so homesick, so lonely away from family and friends in Denver. She’d grown up since leaving. She could handle whatever life threw her way now. She was staying in Texas. And somehow she’d figure out a way to deal with Sam and Joey and all the problems that arose between divorced people who both loved their child.
* * *
ONE WEEK LATER, Sam Haller pulled his pickup over to the curb and stopped. This was the place. He gazed at the brick building through the windshield. It didn’t look like much, but then he reckoned costs were higher in Fort Worth than Tumbleweed. Maybe the apartments were spacious. But from the size of the small windows, and how closely placed they were, he doubted it.
He sat in the silent truck, studying the neighborhood. He wasn’t expected. Would she even be home? It had taken three days for his attorney to obtain her current address. Sam had waited impatiently each one of those days. He’d wanted to jump in the pickup and head for Fort Worth the minute he had the address. But he’d waited to see if she’d make any response to the letter his attorney sent.
He hadn’t heard a word. Today his patience ran out.
Tugging on his Stetson, he climbed out of the truck. How could she choose this glass and brick complex over her family’s place in Tumbleweed? No trees, no space, even the air seemed clogged with automobile fumes. Nothing like the sweet smells of open range hay drying in the summer sun, or the familiar pungent scent of cattle. The sun shone through a haze, not from a clear sky so blue it almost hurt the eyes.
Heading to the large double glass doors that led into the apartment building, Sam noticed the tiny grassy area in front. The long asphalt driveway that led behind the structure to the parking lot didn’t offer any hope of more yard in back. Looking up the street again he noticed more of the same brick buildings and little grass. Two trees up the road looked substantial, otherwise, nothing worth noting. Hell of a place for a little boy to grow up.
Of course if he got his way, Joey would spend at least half his life on the ranch. He’d grow up on the clean open spaces, learn to deal with cattle and horses and the various aspects of nature that went into running a successful cattle enterprise. He’d have his own horse and his own place on the ranch. It was where his son belonged.
Sam took a deep breath and headed inside. Not that living on a ranch was any guarantee of happiness. He’d proved that with his own life.
Lisa’s apartment was on the second floor. He bypassed the elevator to take the stairs. Apartment 21 was a corner unit. He doffed his Stetson, ran his fingers through his hair and pressed the doorbell.
Nothing.
Well, hell, he shouldn’t have expected to her be home. It was still early on a Thursday afternoon. She was probably somewhere off helping Bill Taylor become a success. He frowned. She could have had a job at his spread, if she wanted to work on a ranch so much.
He almost laughed at that. She couldn’t wait to shake the dust of Tumbleweed from her heels when she left. Working for him would be the last thing she’d ever want.
Still the thought wouldn’t go away.
Where was Joey? At some day care center? Dammit. He didn’t like the thought. He ran his fingers through his hair again and replaced his hat. He would have to come back later.
Turning, he debated what to do next. He didn’t know Lisa’s schedule. Not that he cared. He had come to see his son, not learn the details of his ex-wife’s new life.
The sound of a chain scrapped across the door. It opened a crack.
“Sam?” Lisa croaked.
Shocked, Sam stared. “Lisa? What in God’s name have you done to yourself? Are you all right?”
She shook her head and leaned wearily against the edge of the door. “No, of course I’m not all right,” she croaked. “I have the worst case of flu in the history of the world. What are you doing here?”
“I came to see Joey.”
“He isn’t home. Go away, Sam.” She began to shut the door.
His boot stopped it from closing.
“Open up and let me inside. You look as if you could use some help. Where’s Joey? Is he sick, too?”
“No. He’s at the neighbors. If you’re here about the custody letter your lawyer sent, I’m not up to battling you today. When I’m better, I’ll fight, but not today. Go away.”
“Open the door, Lisa.” Ignoring her directive, he knew she needed help. There would be time enough later for her to get in fighting form before they had the discussion he came for. But right now she needed help. And it looked like he was the only one around to provide it.
At the least, he could take care of Joey.
Fumbling with the chain, she released it and turned away, stumbling as she walked down a short hallway, reaching out to the wall to steady herself. The robe she wore wasn’t one he remembered. And he would definitely have remembered a terry cloth covering. Lisa had always been pretty as a picture, and usually dressed to show off her sexy figure. He hadn’t thought she knew terry cloth was used for anything but towels.
He glanced around the apartment when he entered, noting the toys scattered on the floor, plastic horses and cowboys and Indians, coloring books. A newspaper lay on one end table, sections trailing to the carpet. Through the archway into the kitchen, he saw dishes stacked on the counter.
More proof she was ill. Lisa had always kept an immaculate home.
The place was tiny. He felt he could touch every wall by standing in the center of the room. It was nothing like his house--the huge old family place where he rattled around all alone. Sometimes he wandered upstairs to stand in the door to the nursery. An empty room that echoed with the sound of his infant son, but remained vacant most of the year.
He noticed the pictures of Joey from the time he was an infant until his most recent shot. She had put them everywhere on the end table, the bookshelves, on the walls. Captivated, Sam studied them, noting sadly how fast his boy was growing.
He felt a pang deep inside at all he was missing as his son grew up without him.
He hadn’t come to make trouble, unless fighting for equal time with his child caused Lisa trouble. If she had stayed in Tumbleweed, they could have worked something out. Alternated weeks, or weekends. Something. He would fight her on this. And he had a good chance of winning.
At least he had until recently.
Now he wasn’t so sure.
He shook his head, wishing he could change the past. But it would forever remain a futile hope. Every damn problem and circumstance.
Tossing his hat on the sofa, he headed down the hall to where she’d disappeared.
* * *
LISA CRAWLED INTO her bed and pulled the covers over her head. She felt wretched. The bed cradled her aching body, but gave no respite. No matter how she tossed and turned, she still felt achy, miserable, sick. And now Sam showed up.
What was he doing here? Why did he have to show up today of all days?
Maybe she imagined him. Maybe her fever spiked and she was hallucinating.
Closing her eyes, she sought the oblivion of sleep. If she could just get some rest, she’d bounce back. She had to. She had a job to attend to. And someone had to take care of Joey. Whoever designed motherhood should have made sure sickness wasn’t included until children were in high school and able to fend for themselves.
She tried to remember if her mother had ever been sick when she was a child.
It wouldn’t have mattered. Her father had been around, and her older sister Sally and aunts and uncles and cousins galore. She had been surrounded by family and friends in Tumbleweed. Now she had only herself to depend upon. Joey had only his mother.
No, that wasn’t right. Sam was here.
“Lisa?”
The familiar husky voice danced across her nerves. For an instant memories burst forth unrestrained. Her heart raced and she almost gave into the delight that the sound brought.
It was the flu, it had obviously fried all her brain cells. She lowered the covers slightly and glared at the man standing in the doorway.
No one on God’s green earth had the right to look so good. She groaned and covered her head again. He was as tall as she remembered maybe taller broad shouldered and muscular. His skin looked healthy and tanned. From working outside so much, she knew. Most cowboys looked terrific, their work demanding physical stamina and honing muscles to perfection.
But they all didn’t have to be so drop-dead gorgeous. Or so sexy. Or so blackhearted.
Chapter Two
“GO AWAY. GO away and let me die in peace,” she groaned, turning on her side, hoping the apparition would vanish.
“When was the last time you ate?” Sam asked.
“Oh, God, I can’t keep food down. Even the thought makes me queasy.” It looked as if it weren’t an apparition but the real thing.
“Some juice, then. Or tea. What would you like?”
“I’d like to be left alone.” She hated this. She hadn’t seen the man for more than a few moments at a time in two years and he shows up the day she was sure she was dying. Why couldn’t he have come last week, right after seeing her at the stockyard?
Or next week when she was bound to be back on her feet and ready to face the world?
“Where’s Joey?” Sam asked.
“I told you, at the neighbors. Go away.”
“Is Joey staying there over night?”
Sam stepped into the room. Even to Lisa it felt warm and stuffy. Would he get sick breathing the same air?
She shook her head, then realized he wouldn’t be able to see her under the covers. Great move, Lisa, she thought. Where was all that maturity she’d so painstakingly built up over the last twenty-four months?
“No. He’ll be back later this afternoon,” she replied.
“You aren’t worried about getting him sick?”
“Yes, that’s why he’s there.”
“And when he gets home?”
She flung back the covers and glared at him. “I’ll deal with it, all right? Just get out.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” His calm tone angered her even more. As did his casual posture leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed across his chest.
She sighed, too tired to fight. Sam was the world’s most stubborn man. If he planned to stay, there was nothing she could do to dislodge him. Not until she felt better. Which at the rate she was going might be never.
She closed her eyes and heard his tread as he walked away. The boots sounded muffled on the carpet. It had been a long time since she’d heard boots in her home.
A wave of homesickness washed through her. She missed Tumbleweed. Missed her friends and neighbors, and the cowboys and ranchers who worked in the community. Missed her mother. She hadn’t known it would be so hard to live away from her family, away from everything she loved.
Most of all she’d missed Sam.
She should have returned to Tumbleweed when she’d left Denver. Fort Worth wasn’t home.
She knew why Sam had come, and wished he’d chosen his time better. He was here about the custody suit. And after seeing her like this, he’d have even more ammunition for his side. She was all alone in Fort Worth, with only neighbors, practically strangers, to rely on for help.
He’d only have to point out he lived in the house his
family had owned for generations, a legacy for his son. His brother lived on the ranch property and would be available to help care for the boy if Sam became incapacitated. Not to mention the ranch hands and long time family friends.
She groaned and turned over to her side, pulling the pillow over her head. She did not want to think about that now. Those wild Haller boys, the most trouble the town had ever seen, and she’d been crazy about both of them at one time or another.
But the past was all mixed up. She wanted it to go away. Wished it could be changed. Wanted to demonstrate to everyone that she was grown up now, and capable of managing her own life.
Mostly she wanted to get better!
Not for the first time she wondered if leaving Tumbleweed had been such a great idea. Another mistake in a long line of them, she thought, feeling sorry for herself. Maybe she should consider admitting that and moving back.
“I made some tea. You need something to drink so you don’t get dehydrated,” Sam said, crossing to the bed.
“I won’t keep it down,” she said, swallowing hard. It would be nice to sip something warm, and then try to sleep again. Tears threatened. She’d been alone for so long. Sam’s bringing her tea touched her heart.
“Try the tea. I found your aspirin, too. You’re sure this is just the flu, you don’t have something else? Have you seen a doctor?”
Struggling to sit up, Lisa nodded. “It’s the flu. I think I caught it at the stockyard last week. At the auction there was a man coughing really hard.”
He held his palm open with the aspirin. She took the pills, conscious of the calluses on his hands as her fingertips brushed lightly. Sam always worked hard, she had to give him credit for that.
Though she wished she could blame him for everything.
“Thanks,” she mumbled as she took the fragrant brew. Sipping slowly, she realized he had made sure it was the right temperature not too hot to drink immediately. Darn the man, just when she wanted to throw the cup at him, he has to go and do something nice.
It reminded her of other nice things he’d done for her. Fixing her breakfast in bed, taking her dancing when he’d been tired from a full day's work on the range.
Love Me Some Cowboy Page 35
