Why was he looking at her?
Jennifer began to speak rapidly and Lisa tried to concentrate on what she was saying.
“So, of course it’s the typical June wedding. But I don’t care. I only expect to get married once, so I’m doing it up just the way I want.” She glanced at Nick and smiled. “Or the way we want, I hope.”
“Whatever you want, is what I want,” he said with a smile.
Lisa blinked. Had she heard the man correctly? She flicked a glance at Sam, startled to find his gaze still on her. They locked eyes for a second, sharing the moment, almost as if they shared a common thought. Nick? Acting like a love stuck cowboy? It was mind boggling.
But nice, she thought wistfully, wishing Sam had felt like that about her.
What, exactly, had he felt for her? Passion and desire, she knew that. She’d been barely twenty-two when they’d gotten married. Now that she was almost twenty-eight, she could see she’d been too young. She hadn’t finished growing up. But at the time, she’d insisted she knew what she wanted and it had been Sam Haller.
The moment ended and she looked away, upset with the thoughts that came unbidden. They’d married fast, loved furiously, and separated after only two years.
Jennifer was speaking again, “...so since I’ve lost touch with so many friends since college, I thought we might as well get married here. My folks will fly in and a few close friends. And my grandparents. Otherwise, our guests will be my new friends and neighbors here in Tumbleweed.”
Lisa nodded as if she’d heard the entire thing. “That’s nice.”
“And then we can party here all night before leaving on our honeymoon,” Jennifer finished brightly, smiling at Sam.
Lisa remembered her own wedding, small and quiet. The brief honeymoon in San Antonio. She’d loved the Riverwalk, and the Old Town and the hours spent with Sam in the hotel room.
Heat swept through her again. She dare not meet his gaze. What if he were remembering? What if the memories were unaccompanied by the same fondness?
A jarring memory surfaced unbidden--Sam’s jealousy about Nick. She still remembered his comments on their wedding night of how jealous he was of the fact she and Nick had slept together before Sam had known her. Then he’d set about to make her forget everyone she’d ever known before. And done it masterfully.
There was no comparison between Sam and anyone else and especially teenage fumbling in the dark.
And it wasn’t as if he’d been celibate before their marriage, she’d reminded him.
The exploits of Sam and Nick were legendary around Tumbleweed when they could escape from their domineering father.
Even with all that had gone on between them, she remembered their lovemaking as the stuff of legends. The man had no idea how much she’d cherished their nights together.
And not only the nights. There were afternoons, mornings and everything in between. In the house, in the barn, under the open sky and once in a leaky old cabin on the edge of the ranch.
She shifted restlessly in the chair. It wasn’t fair to have perfection and lose it.
“You all right?” Sam asked softly.
She looked at him, his eyes dark with concern, his attention focused on her. Once again her heart skipped a beat, then began a rapid tempo. What would it be like to touch his cheek with her fingertips, thread her fingers through that rich dark hair, feel the remembered strength of his muscles against her softness once again? Just once.
Hadn’t she heard somewhere, or read in a woman’s magazine, that divorced couples sometimes got together for old times sake? Could she do that? Would he even want another night together?
She swallowed hard, amazed where her thoughts were heading. Had her fever fried her brains?
“I’m fine,” she said, startled at her husky tone.
“I’m glad you're feeling better,” Jennifer said. “I hope Joey doesn’t get sick. Though I’m sure the fresh air out here has been great for keeping him healthy.”
“If he’s missed catching it this long, I think he’ll be fine,” Sam said, stretching out his long legs, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms across his chest.
“He’s darling, I can see why he should live here. I bet he loves the horses,” Jennifer said, smiling at the little boy busy slurping the lemonade.
Lisa stiffened. “Nothing’s been settled,” she said sharply.
Jennifer looked at her, distressed. “Oh, sorry, I thought...” She looked at Nick.
He shrugged, glared at Lisa.
“Lisa doesn’t like the idea, but there’s nothing to stop the arrangement from going through,” Sam said. “Joey's old enough to begin learning about the ranch. And he likes it here, right, partner?”
Joey beamed at his father, nodding his head rapidly.
Lisa put her glass on the scarred coffee table and stood up. “I want to talk to you,” she said to Sam, conscious of Joey’s sudden uncertainty as he looked between his father and mother.
“Alone and away from big ears!” She walked quickly from the room, not waiting to see if Sam would follow. She was seething! How dare he discuss his plans with all and sundry and in front of Joey. Especially when nothing had been settled!
Sam caught up with her in the entry, taking her arm and swinging her around. “Hold on, Lisa. What’s got you in such a twit?”
“The discussion is inappropriate!”
“What discussion? You know I’m petitioning for joint custody. It’s just a matter of form.”
“And you had to tell the world as if it’s a done deal?” She was finding it difficult to think coherently with his fingers on her arm. Their warmth penetrated the thin cotton sleeve, starting a tingling sensation that distracted common thought. Her skin felt too tight. The heat that swept through made her wonder if a fever was spiking.
“I told my brother, he told Jennifer hardly all and sundry. They’re family.”
“Until it’s settled, I don’t want it discussed in front of Joey.”
“You heard him, he’d love to live on the ranch. He’s not going to mind staying here for half the time. Hell, when he’s older, he might want to live here year round.”
Lisa swallowed hard, wishing he’d let her go so she could think better. “He’s only three, he doesn’t know what he wants.”
“Sure he does. He loves the horses, learning to ride, helping where he can. You should have seen him with Jose earlier. Don’t forget a portion of the ranch will be his one day, he might as well grow up learning things, rather than inherit a place one day out of the blue like your employer did.”
Nick and Jennifer came into the entry way.
“We’re heading out,” Nick said. “We’ll catch you later, Sam, about the wedding.”
Jennifer looked subdued. “I’m sorry if I said something inappropriate,” she said quietly, quickly moving with Nick to the door.
Lisa watched them leave. “Gee, that went well.”
His fingers tightened then released her. He stepped away. “I always thought Nick would follow you after you left, you know,” he said. “It must have been hard to see him with her.”
Her gaze flew to his. “I told you we were through years ago. You’re the only one who never believed it.”
He shrugged. “One reason I didn’t contest the divorce was I thought the two of you would be happy together. Every time you weren’t where I thought you were, you were at Nick’s.” He turned and headed back into the living room.
“We were friends,” she called after him. It was futile, she knew. If she had things to do over again, she’d have handled it differently.
Lisa heard him talking with Joey, wished she knew what he was telling their son. But she couldn’t move. He thought Nick would have gone after her? Did that mean he would have contested the divorce, not acquiesced, if he’d known his brother wasn’t interested? If he had believed that she wasn’t interested in Nick?
Feeling shaky, she sat on the bottom stair, trying to analyze the comment. Was
there hidden meaning there? Something she should understand? Idly her fingers rubbed her arm, tracing the spot he’d touched, almost caressed.
It was past time for her to leave. She was getting in over her head.
Rising resolutely, she moved to the archway into the living room. Sam and Joey sat together on the sofa, their head bent close together, talking softly. Joey’s trusting eyes were on his father, fascinated by whatever Sam was telling him.
She felt a pang. This is how it should be. Joey should be learning everything about the ranch from his father. And about manners and responsibilities and school work and everything else. He should have both parents.
Sam looked up.
“I want to go to my folks’ place. Can you take me or shall I ask them to come to get me?”
“Now?”
“Now. I’ll get our things together.”
“Joey stays.” Sam stood up, seeming to tower over her.
She opened her mouth to argue, then closed it. “Fine, for the weekend.”
“We still need to discuss things,” he said slowly.
“When I’m feeling better, Sam. Not today. I just want to go home.”
Wherever that was, she thought as she went upstairs to gather her few clothes. Maybe being with her parents would help her put things into perspective.
Sam and Joey were standing at the bottom of the stairs when she returned.
“I want you to consider getting a job in Tumbleweed,” he said as he opened the front door. “It would be the best solution for Joey. Fort Worth is too far to travel back and forth each day, but if you lived in town, when you’re working, he could come here. Save child care costs and having him raised by strangers. When he’s older, he can come after school, and on weekends.”
“I’ll think about it,” she said, climbing into the pickup truck.
Joey climbed in from the driver’s side, settling in his car seat. “Are we going to live here, Mommy?” he asked again. “I told Daddy we loved it here.”
“We’ll work something out, sweetie,” Lisa said, wishing she knew what it would be.
The drive to her parent’s house would have been in total silence if not for Joey’s chatter. But Lisa wasn’t listening.
Did Sam remember the nights he’d picked her up in the same truck? The dinners and western dancing they’d enjoyed? The talking and laughing and loving? The passionate good night kisses? She remembered every single one and wished she didn’t. Her defenses were down from being sick, she thought desperately.
When they reached her dad’s house, she forced a bright smile. “Joey, want to come in and see Grandma and Grandpa?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Want to go back to the ranch,” he said stubbornly.
Lisa felt a tug in her heart. She was going to lose her son for a good part of the year, if not longer, she knew it. Her precious baby. How could she stand it?
“They’d love to see you,” she said, knowing it was a lost cause, but not willing to give up easily.
“No.” His expression mirrored his father’s stubborn one. She felt a catch in her heart.
She looked at Sam helplessly. His expression gave nothing away.
“We do need to talk,” she admitted. “But not today, and not in front of Joey.”
He nodded.
“We could discuss it tomorrow, or the next day.” She was sure to feel better by then. More able to cope.
“Come to the ranch around-- ”
“No,” she said quickly. “Not the ranch. Not here. Some neutral location. Lunch in town, maybe?”
“Dinner tomorrow,” Sam said. “I’ll get Nick to watch Joey and you and I can discuss things without the big ears.”
“The sooner we settle things the sooner we can move on.”
“I’ll pick you up at six. We’ll go to Rosie’s. Is that neutral enough for you?”
A pang. Rosie’s was the Tex-Mex restaurant they had loved.
“Sounds like arms negotiations,” she said to cover any hint of nostalgia.
“A truce is all I’m after,” he said.
She kissed Joey, brushing her hand over his hair and feeling the ache of missing him begin. “Be good for Daddy,” she said.
“Where are you going?” Joey asked, looking confused.
“I’m staying with Grandma and Grandpa tonight,” she said. “You can stay with them, too, if you want.”
He leaned nearer Sam. “No, I live at the ranch.”
“Not live there, you’re visiting.”
“Give it up, Lisa, he’s going to be living there sooner or later. Let him say it.”
She frowned and quickly exited the truck. Sam wasn’t the type to gloat, but it sure sounded like it to her.
She watched the truck disappear, feeling as if something special and sacred had disappeared with it. She’d miss Joey she had every time he’d gone to visit Sam before. But this time there was a difference. Maybe she should have stayed one more night at the ranch.
To what end, she thought sadly, turning to open the door to her parent’s house.
Had they already heard from the grapevine she was back in town? Probably not, or her mother would have been on the phone in an instant.
The serenity of the old house surrounded her immediately when she stepped inside. It felt safe, secure and happy--all the attributes she associated with her childhood. Why had life turned hard as she got older?
Chapter Four
THE NEXT EVENING as she watched from the window of her parent’s home, Lisa felt as nervous as a teenager on a first date. It wasn’t as if this were a date, she reminded herself. Treaty negotiations more like.
Joey’s future to discuss.
She saw the truck arrive, watched as Sam got out and headed for the front door as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Wasn’t he at all nervous? Blast the man, he probably felt he held all the aces.
He knocked on the door.
“I’m going now, Mom,” she called, heading for the door.
Margaret Ballantine came down the hall, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. She was baking and the fragrance of fresh chocolate chip cookies filled the house.
“I’ll speak to Sam before you go,” she said.
Lisa sighed and opened the door. Twenty-seven years old and her mother had to observe the proprieties of speaking with her daughter’s escort even if it was only a business meeting.
It wasn’t fair, was her first thought when she opened the door. Sam looked good enough to eat. His hat rode low, his fresh shirt emphasized the breadth of his shoulders, tapering to the new jeans encasing narrow hips and long muscular legs. When his eyes met hers, she could almost feel her blood heat degree by degree. For a second it was as if they were alone in the world.
“Sam, it’s been a while,” Margaret said, holding out her arms.
“Margaret.” He hugged her briefly.
“Bring Joey over tomorrow. I’ve been baking all day and can’t wait to see him again. Just for the afternoon,” she suggested.
Sam glanced at Lisa. “We’ll see.”
Five minutes later they were turning onto the highway leading to town.
“Guerrilla tactics?” he asked, smoothly blending in with the flow of traffic.
“If you mean Mom, she wants to see her grandson, that’s all.”
“Then it wouldn’t matter to her if she had Joey at her place or if they came out to the ranch.”
“I want to see Joey, too.”
“You can come out as well.”
Lisa sat back, pressing her lips tightly together to keep the heated words from spilling out. Was this what she could expect? She thought they were going to discuss things rationally like adults. Maybe she should start.
“I’ve been thinking about working from Tumbleweed. I talked to Bill today and he’s agreeable to try it.”
“You should have stayed here to begin with.”
“Look, Sam, if you want to harp on should haves and all, then maybe this evening is pointless. I thoug
ht we were going to discuss the future, not the past.”
“Right, the future.” He gripped the wheel tightly.
“Anyway, I can drive out to his ranch once or twice a week, and the rest of the time do work from home, like I started in Fort Worth. If I can find an apartment for rent in town.”
“Put the word out, I’m sure you’ll hear of something before long. Until you get settled, Joey can stay with me.”
“No.”
“Sheesh, Lisa, at least give a pretense of thinking about it for a minute or two. What’s wrong with him staying at the ranch?”
She couldn’t tell Sam how afraid she was that Joey would continue to adore living there, and become dissatisfied confined to a small apartment in town. She didn’t want to lose her son to the lure of ranching, horses, cowboys and Sam.
“He’s too little,” she said.
“I’m not sending him out on a roundup alone. He’s having the time of his life.”
“He needs his mother.”
“You’re going to be busy, packing up your place in Fort Worth, finding an apartment here, getting things set up. It isn’t going to hurt anything for him to stay at the ranch. It’ll make it easier for you.”
“I don’t need you making things easy for me,” she snapped, her temper threatening to erupt.
Sam swerved over to the side of the road and stopped, turning to glare at her.
“I know that for damn sure. What’s the real issue here?”
“I don’t want Joey staying at your place.”
“Why not? What have you heard? What’s the real reason, Lisa? I’m his father.”
“Heard? What is there to hear? I don’t want to be separated from my son!”
“He’s my son, too, dammit. And maybe I don’t want to be separated either! You should have considered that before you walked out.”
“You let me go.”
“Let you? Give me a break, lady. I thought you were unhappy and wanted Nick. You both surprised the hell out of me when you didn’t take up with each other again after you and I split. Especially after that last night.”
“There was nothing going on with me and Nick. Nothing! As we both told you.” She looked at him, her eyes narrowed. “Are you saying you were being noble and stood aside for me to find my true love?” she asked scathingly.
Love Me Some Cowboy Page 38
