Better get used to it, girl, she admonished herself. It was the way of the future.
“Looks like you’re going to be a full-fledged cowboy in no time,” her father told him.
“You must come stay with us soon,” her mother said, brushing her hand over his hair as if she couldn’t get enough of the little boy.
“Do you have horses?” Joey asked.
Everyone laughed.
“No, but I bake a lot of cookies,” Margaret said, not above bribing him.
“We better go,” Lisa said, conscious of Sam’s silent figure. He didn’t evidence any impatience, but this couldn’t be easy for him.
“I have something for you to take today,” Margaret said, holding out a brown bag to Sam. “It’s some of those c-o-o-k-i-e-s I made the other day. For later, if you get hungry.”
“I’m sure a certain little boy will love them. After lunch.”
Margaret patted Sam on the arm. “And big boys, too. It’s good to see you again, Sam.”
He smiled and nodded, replacing his hat and looking at Lisa. “Ready now?”
The two hour ride passed swiftly. Joey told his mother about his activities, then she looked to Sam for clarification as her son’s explanations sometimes left some crucial fact out.
Wistfully she watched the animation and delight on Joey’s face. He’d had a wonderful few days. How would apartment living compare? She was worried she would come up on the short end of that stick. Would Joey grow to hate living with her, yearning to spend all his time with his father on the ranch?
Fort Worth seemed crowded and hectic after the slower pace of Tumbleweed, Lisa thought as they drove through the city traffic. Her street looked tired, closed in.
She took a deep breath. It was only temporary until she found a place in Tumbleweed.
All too soon, she had packed some more of Joey’s clothes, and an assortment of games, toys and books. He and Sam were leaving. Leaving her alone in Fort Worth.
Chapter Five
BY SATURDAY MORNING, Lisa was seething with impatience. Today Sam was bringing Joey home. She'd risen early, making sure the apartment was spotless not that it needed any attention. She hadn’t been able to sleep well the last three nights, so had whiled away the time getting everything cleaned. Even started packing for the pending move.
She’d also been able to catch up on most of her work for Bill Taylor. It was amazing how much time she had on her hands with Joey gone.
And how desperately she needed involving tasks to keep her mind from thinking about Sam.
It was almost nine. When would they arrive?
She sat on the sofa and tried to leaf through a magazine, but couldn’t concentrate. Glancing at the phone she wondered if Sam would call her to let her know when to expect them or just show up.
He hadn’t said anything definite about time. Maybe she should call him. If they weren’t coming until afternoon, there was no sense her jumping at every sound as if it might be them.
The phone rang a long time before Nick answered it.
“I was calling for Sam,” Lisa said, surprised to hear him. This was the main phone number for the ranch. Nick had an extension, but rarely used it. He had his own phone line.
“He must be doing something. I picked up because it rang so long.”
“Do you know when he and Joey are coming to Fort Worth?”
“No.” The clipped tone let Lisa know he wasn’t thrilled to be talking with her.
“Nick, is everything all right? I mean between you and Sam?”
“It’s really not any of your business any more, is it Lisa? You made that clear when you left.”
“I couldn’t stay,” she said.
“Well, there’s a difference of opinion on that. If I see Sam this morning, I’ll tell him you called.” With that he hung up.
Lisa replaced the receiver carefully. She hadn’t imagined his hostility the other afternoon. But why? She had never done anything to him.
Unless it was because of Sam’s accusations. False accusations. She and Nick had been tight in high school, but drifted apart long before she'd become involved with Sam. Only he’d never fully believed that.
And her actions during their marriage had done nothing to convince him, she acknowledged ruefully.
Pacing the small apartment, she felt restless and unsettled. Her mother had called yesterday afternoon with information about a possible apartment available in Tumbleweed. She planned to drive over tomorrow to see it, and then would spend the rest of the day with her parents. They wanted to see Joey again.
She wished her sister, Sally, would settle down, get married and give her folks a half dozen grandkids. They loved children, and it sure didn’t look as if Lisa would be providing any more.
The phone rang.
“Lisa, Nick said you called.” Sam’s impersonal tone startled her.
“I was curious to know when you and Joey would get here,” she said, sitting on the edge of the sofa. Despite the coolness in his voice, she felt almost giddy hearing him.
There was a pause on the other end.
“Late.”
“Late? How late? Lunch time?”
“After dinner.”
“After dinner? I wanted to see him today, not have you show up just when he’s ready for bed!”
“He’s not really excited about going back to that apartment. I thought if he was tired out by the time we got there, he’d go right to bed and it’d make the transition easier.”
“Oh.” Lisa hated hearing Joey didn’t want to come home. Though she couldn’t blame him. Had it still been their place in Denver, he might not have minded. But they’d only been two months at this apartment too short a time for a little boy to form attachments.
And she had to admit the excitement of a ranch would offer more to a small boy than the quiet apartment building, with no yard to speak of and no animals.
“You could stay for a while when you drop him off so he’d know you were still available,” she suggested.
“I’ve already promised a trip to the zoo.”
She clutched the phone, her heart sinking. They’d made plans for the day, excluding her. “Joey’s never been to the zoo before.”
“Yeah, he said that. He’s raring to go.”
She waited a moment, not wanting to give into the urge, but unable to resist. “I want to go, too.”
“What?”
“It’s a first for him and I want to be there when he first sees the lions and monkeys.”
The silence stretched out for a long moment. Lisa wondered what Sam was thinking. Please, don’t let him refuse.
“I can see the appeal. I would have liked to have seen his first steps, been there the first time he talked,” Sam said slowly.
Lisa’s heart tightened. She had deprived the man of those milestones with her impatience with things, the lack of trust and understanding. How much had been real and how much her own inexperience and youth?
“I’m sorry, Sam,” she said softly. “You should have seen them, too. But please don’t keep me from today for revenge.”
“I’m not into revenge, Lisa. We’ll pick you up at eleven.” He hung up.
“Seems to be a tendency with Hallers,” she murmured replacing the receiver. She vowed to teach Joey to always say goodbye before hanging up a phone.
Her heart rose, they’d be here at eleven! Joey and Sam.
She wasn’t sure which one she wanted to see more.
* * *
NICK LEANED AGAINST the counter, watching his brother. He frowned when Sam hung up the phone.
“You’re taking her with you now?”
Sam shrugged. “She said it’s a first Joey’s first time to the zoo and she wants to be part of it.”
“Like you were part of all his other firsts?” Nick asked.
“Leave it alone, bro.”
“Seems to me you’re close to taking up with her again. Didn’t you learn anything before? Does she know about Margot?”
“Are you going to tell her?”
Sam shrugged, met his brother’s eyes. “I started to. But, the way things are, it really has nothing to do with her. Now I don’t know.”
“It has something to do with Joey. In a few weeks he’s going to have a half-brother or sister.”
“So I’ll tell him when the time’s right.”
“How a reasonably intelligent man can screw up his life so much is beyond me,” Nick said. “Jennifer's coming over again tomorrow. Can we discuss the reception then?”
Sam nodded.
He rested a hip against the counter when his brother left and gazed out through the screened door. Good question, he thought. How had he screwed up his life? When he’d been younger, dealing with his father had been his biggest problem. After his death, Sam thought he’d be free.
Until he’d been caught by a pretty, bright, bubbly armful of sexy woman called Lisa. That had ended disastrously.
Next step, get roaring drunk during the lonely holidays and end up sleeping with a substitute for his long-gone wife. And father another baby.
One the mother had no intention of keeping.
What else could a man do, but take his child? He’d missed Joey’s firsts, but he wouldn’t miss the new child’s firsts.
No one said it would be easy. Most people who knew his plans said he was a damned fool for even thinking about it. But he couldn’t let his baby be raised by strangers.
And who knew, maybe one day he’d find a woman who would take him on with two kids.
Or maybe not. He wasn’t anxious to venture forth in the matrimonial stakes again. His track record sucked.
“Joey! Are you ready, yet?” he called, shaking off the regrets and moving forward, the only way he knew how.
When the little boy came skidding into the kitchen, Sam felt his heart swell with love. The kid had Lisa’s chin and her way of jutting it forward sometimes. But other than that, he looked like he and Nick had as boys. No question he was a Haller.
“Ready to go to the zoo?” he asked, scooping him up and hugging him gently.
“Yes. We’re going to see monkeys and lions!”
“And Mommy. She’s going with us.”
“Has mommy been to the zoo before?” Joey asked, his expression suddenly serious.
“I don’t know.”
Amazing after being married two years, and hearing about her from Nick when they were all younger, he didn’t know that about Lisa. What else didn’t he know about his former wife?
“I’m sure we’ll have fun exploring together.”
* * *
LISA WAS STANDING out front when Sam drew up. She smiled brightly and hurried to the curb, opening the passenger door as soon as he came to a stop in front of the apartment building.
“I thought I’d save you hunting a parking place. Hi, Joey.” She kissed her son on his cheek and slid into the seat, closing the door.
“Thanks for including me,” she said to Sam, trying to judge his mood. His face was impassive.
“We’re going to the zoo, Mommy!” Joey said excitedly, bouncing in the car seat. “Have you been there before?”
“I sure have, but not for a long time.”
“Did you go as a child?” Sam asked, pulling back into traffic.
“Many times. Mom and Dad took Sally and me every summer when we were younger. Did your family go every year?”
“No. I was seventeen the first time I went,” Sam said.
Lisa looked away, embarrassed at not knowing. And embarrassed when she remembered his childhood. She always felt that way when he’d mention the way things had been so different from her own. He never complained, but she knew from her days of dating Nick how hard their father had been on both boys, but especially Sam because he was the oldest. Ben Haller hadn’t had time for foolishness, as he called anything frivolous or fun.
Of course, he had had time for his own pursuits, and neglected the ranch more and more as he’d grown older. It had been a mess when Sam and Nick inherited.
She cleared her throat. “I never told you, but I think what you’ve done with the ranch has been terrific.”
Sam threw her an odd look. “What brought that up?”
Nervously, she traced a design on her jeans. “Just thought I should tell you.”
“Why?”
“Does everything have to have a reason?” she said, irritated he couldn’t just take the compliment and let it ride.
“Usually.”
“Okay, I was thinking about the zoo, then I thought about your father, and then how the ranch was when you first inherited it. I guess I didn’t realize back then how much work would be needed to keep it going, much less recover from the neglect.”
“And now you do?” he asked, his tone skeptical.
“Maybe not everything, but I sure have a much better appreciation after working with Bill Taylor’s place. I see all that needs to be done and remember your doing so much by yourself when we were married.”
“So after all this time, and getting insight from a stranger, you suddenly realize I wasn’t just trying to avoid spending time with you but had legitimate reasons for the work I was doing?”
“I’m not sure I would have put it that way.” Though it was exactly the way it should be put. But it reminded her how much of the breakup had been her fault. And she hated admitting it.
“How would you put it?” he asked.
Lisa thought a moment, then sighed softly. “Exactly that way. I’m sorry, Sam. You were working hard and I should have been helping, not adding burdens.”
“Water over the dam,” he said briefly.
She asked Joey about his visit, listening with half an ear as he talked about horses and cows and steers. She wondered if he knew the difference with cattle yet. If not, it wouldn’t be long. His animated expressions were precious. She’d missed him so much.
Better get used to that, she admonished herself. It looked as if there was no help for the change in custody arrangements. She really had no grounds for fighting it.
She kept flicking glances at Sam. He looked bronzed from the sun, fit and trim. His hat rode back on his head and his shoulders filled out a good portion of the wide truck cab. Wishing to hear his voice, she tried to come up with an innocuous topic that wouldn’t have either upset, but which would let her hear his deep tones, the soft Texas drawl so appealing.
She’d loved nights they’d spent together in the dark talking, making plans. She could still remember listening to him dream about expanding the herd, trying different strains, adding more fields of experimental grains.
He’d respected his wife enough to share his life and dreams with her.
She, instead, had wanted to go dancing, partying and escape the constant workload. A child’s view of marriage. She’d been too young to know what to realistically expect. And too young to pull her own weight.
She’d grown up in the interim years.
Had she changed enough to interest Sam?
She looked at him again and felt her heart catch. He was still the sexiest man she’d ever seen. They were different people from who they’d been when they married, and from when they divorced. He seemed harder, more self-contained. How much was a cover for the hurt she’d inflicted?
She still felt that strong pull of attraction, even though it was awkward to be around him. The angry words they’d hurled at each other seem to echo whenever she saw him.
Would they one day have a comfortable truce?
How did he feel about her? The kiss the other night had been fantastic. Surely that showed some interest in more than a truce!
Or was he just reverting to form? She remembered laughing with Nick over some of the wild stunts he and his older brother had pulled around town. And they’d included their fair share of escapades with girls.
Sam’s turning into the parking lot for the zoo interrupted her musing.
Joey’s exuberance was catching. Lisa felt buoyed up and excited about the outing despite her awkwardness around Sam.
Exploring the different habitats of the animals proved both fun and educational. Sam and Lisa took turn reading aloud the display signs before each enclosure, teaching Joey and learning new facts themselves.
By the end of the afternoon, they were more relaxed and almost chatting comfortably together. Granted the topics of conversation were centered on the zoo or their son, but at least the awkwardness had fled.
It felt surreal, she thought at one point. The two of them had always shared a similar sense of humor, and today they were laughing like old friends. Yet nothing else was the same. They’d been as intimate as anyone could be, and fought like crazy. Now they were acting like polite strangers.
Was that the way it would always be in future?
Poignantly, she wished they could at least be friends. She hadn’t wanted their marriage to turn out as it had. Even now, she wasn’t sure exactly how everything evolved. Once started, it had been like a run-away freight train, out of control. Sam deserved better than he’d got.
“Can you carry me?” Joey asked, reaching up his arms to his father.
“Tired?”
“No.” But as soon as Sam picked him up, he laid his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes.
“I bet he’s exhausted. He’s covered at least twice the ground we have running back and forth like he did,” Lisa said, reaching up to pat his back. She studied Sam holding the boy, feeling a tug at her heart. She imprinted the memory for all time. Who knew when she’d see them like this again? For one bittersweet afternoon, they’d been a complete family.
“Guess we should head for home. Would you like to stay for dinner?” Lisa asked. “I’ll fix something quick, or we can call for pizza. One of the advantages of living in town, instant pizza delivery.” She said it lightly, hoping Sam would not be reminded of one of her complaints at the end that she could never order pizza because no one would deliver so far from town.
Love Me Some Cowboy Page 40
