Once they reached Emeline's cerebrum, the two healers split off and began to carefully examine Emeline's brain. Dragomir knew Sandu was doing the same to the baby. He hadn't lied to Emeline. Had she asked, he would have told her the ancient would have to clear their child. The splinter had to be found. Getting rid of it might be easy if Vadim wasn't aware. He would feel the heat of their spirits and he might not be able to resist checking to see what was happening, especially if thought he was in danger of being discovered.
Your woman is very confused. I lived a human life, Dragomir. You think only in terms of Carpathians and Carpathian women. She knows nothing of our culture. She doesn't understand the lifemate bond.
Dragomir heard a warning in Gary's voice. Tell me what you want to say.
She lived a life on the streets. Homeless. Thrown away by her family. Like these children Tariq has taken as his own, she doesn't feel as if anyone can want her. Or love her. That's ingrained in her. The fact that she was pregnant with Vadim's child . . .
My child.
Yes, she is wholly your child now, but she was Malinov's and part of her will always be Malinov. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. Ivory Malinov is a great warrior and a wonderful woman. The point is, Emeline believes she entered the compound under false circumstances. She carried Vadim's child and was host to his parasites. That alone, having those creatures in her bloodstream, made her feel filthy. She looked on them as a sexually transmitted disease.
That's ludicrous.
That's human thinking.
Dragomir detested that for Emeline. He didn't want her thinking she was less than him. Less than anyone.
Now, we tell her that she has a piece of Vadim in her somewhere. That he can control her actions through that little sliver. He can force her to betray you and everyone in the compound.
She was resistant to his compulsions.
She doesn't see that. She sees that time and again, she isn't good enough. She will want to run. For your good. For the good of the Carpathian people. For the children.
Dragomir nearly lost his ability to stay pure spirit. The thought of his woman wanting to leave him shook him. Lifemates cannot be apart.
She is not Carpathian and does not understand that concept. You must remember she thinks like an abandoned human. She will convince herself it is for your good.
Dragomir let his spirit spread light through Emeline, bathing her brain in warmth and love. He wanted her to know how he felt about her. How the others felt about her. Didn't she realize that ancients like Sandu would never have actively sought her out to aid her if they didn't respect her? If they didn't see her as part of their community?
Here it is. Vadim has hidden himself very well, but I can see the darkness against her light. He cannot stamp out her light. I had hoped, for her sake, he was not here.
Dragomir hadn't realized how much he had also wanted Vadim's splinter to be found in someone else. He would have taken it from her if he could. Gary was right in that Emeline was already thinking herself unworthy. He had to find a way to counteract that feeling, to show her that the Carpathian community embraced her. Welcomed her and the baby. The baby . . . It hit him then, the real problem wasn't just the way Emeline felt about herself--she didn't think Carpathians would accept her daughter, not even with Dragomir's blood flowing in the child's veins. That was something he could combat. He knew exactly what to do. Reaching out to the prince and other Carpathians wasn't something he was comfortable with since he hadn't yet sworn allegiance to the prince, but for Emeline, he would do it.
16
Emeline stared out the window. Dragomir and the others had gathered together to figure out the best way to get rid of the splinter Vadim had left in her. Her heart was so heavy she thought it might just shatter into a million pieces. There was no going back from this. It was the last straw. The very last. She'd done everything she knew how to do to make things right with Dragomir and the others, but no matter what she did, there was always more.
"Emeline."
She closed her eyes. She was certain Tariq had sent Charlotte and Blaze to assure her everything would be all right--but it wouldn't. She would always be that girl from the streets. She could change species, but she couldn't shed who she was inside. That girl.
She touched her fingers to her face and was shocked to find bloodred tears tracking down her cheeks. She stared for a moment at the blood smearing the pads of her fingers, not comprehending. Her tears were blood? She sat there feeling frozen inside. She didn't answer the door. She just couldn't bear to see their faces, Charlotte's and Blaze's, looking at her with pity.
She was that girl who got food from a Dumpster. The one carrying the child of a vampire. The one with a vampire controlling her through a splinter of himself he'd put inside her. In her brain. Where she thought. Reasoned. Where she shared her dreams with Dragomir.
She lifted her face to stare out the window again at him--her man. He was the most perfect man in the world, and he deserved better. So much better. She watched him, her heart pounding, love swamping her. He protected her. He watched over her. He treated her as if she were a queen.
He turned and looked at her, his gaze mesmerizing even through the glass. Love hurt. It hurt so much. She'd always tried to be a decent person. Even when she was dancing on a pole, it was to help Blaze get to the men who had murdered her father. She hadn't told Dragomir about dancing in a strip club.
I want to see this dancing you do. Privately. Just for me.
She would like that, but it wasn't going to happen. She couldn't saddle him with a woman so tainted. He was too good a man.
Answer your door.
His voice. So gentle. Even commanding it was gentle. She shook her head and found drops of blood on the windowsill. She had to stop crying. She wasn't even a good Carpathian. They could will themselves to do things, but she couldn't even stop the tears from flowing.
Sivamet. You are my life. Answer the door and allow your friends to talk with you, or I will be forced to leave the warriors circle and come to you.
He would. He would leave the other men in a heartbeat and come to her. The others would know what a needy baby she was. Dragomir wouldn't care, but she didn't want them to think he was lifemate to someone so weak he had to leave an important meeting. A meeting they had to hold away from her. Just in case Vadim decided to listen in on what the Carpathians were planning. And they were planning something big.
"Emeline." The voice was Blaze's this time. Of course they'd asked Blaze to come. Blaze had been her only friend through the years. "Please open the door and invite me in. You know how stubborn I am. I'm not going away. Charlotte is with me. We just want to talk to you."
Emeline kept her gaze on Dragomir. She knew he heard every word spoken in that circle of warriors, but it looked as though his entire focus, all his attention, was on her. Her body hurt, every muscle exhausted as if she'd run a marathon. Her mind hurt from trying to puzzle out what to do. She was tired of being afraid, but the truth was, this nightmare was never going to end. When she'd been alone in her house with the parasites tormenting her night and day and the baby inside of her screaming in agony, she had come to that same conclusion. Now, after having hope, it was worse to know there was none. Vadim had marked her in ways she could never get rid of.
Open the door to your friends. Vadim programmed you to believe you were born to betray the Carpathian people. He told you that you were his lifemate. He said it over and over when he was raping you. The rape was mental and emotional as well as physical. He whispered it to you day and night, using the parasites as his way to keep his connection with you. He deprived you of sleep and kept you sick, weak, unable to eat. Emeline, you have been systematically taken apart and made to believe the things Vadim wants you to believe.
She lowered her lashes, unable to meet his gaze, not even through the window. Did he not realize he was a big part of the problem? He was so good to her. He was such a good man. He might believe he lived in a different
century, but what man could be sweeter? More supportive? She felt like such a fraud. What had she given him in return? Vadim's child. More pain and suffering. Survival of attack after attack. Was it ever going to end? She shook her head. She knew Vadim wouldn't stop. Not ever. Sooner or later Dragomir wouldn't be fast enough and the vampire could kill him.
A sob welled up and she jammed her fist in her mouth. Where could she go?
To the door. Go to the door and allow your friends to come into the house to visit with you while I am away. I am the man you can trust. You've given yourself into my keeping. You have to have faith, Emeline. I know you want to be independent and you think you should be to be worthy, but that is not how I think. I believe partners lean on each other when they need to. It isn't weakness, it is strength. For this time in your life, when the world feels like it is ending, lean on me. Choose my way, sivamet. Do this for me.
Of course she would do as he asked. What else was there for her when his voice stroked caresses in her mind and righted her tilting world? She forced her stiff body to respond. Very slowly she got to her feet, her eyes on him. She smoothed her hand down the beautiful dress he'd created for her and took a deep breath.
For you, Dragomir, because I'd do anything for you.
Love surrounded her. His love. It poured into her like a healing balm. It spread through her mind, rushing to encompass her heart. The emotion went deeper, finding her soul and wrapping it up in him--in his love. His love was deep and abiding and endless. Unconditional. She saw it and felt it and it made her ashamed that she wasn't stronger for him. Still, if he wanted her to lean on him, to choose his way in this time of madness, she would follow him. She would do it even when she felt it would be better for him if she left him.
I wouldn't survive you leaving me. I am weak in ways you cannot imagine. You are my strength. My light in a world of darkness. You just haven't realized it yet.
She wrapped her arms around her middle as she made her way to the front door. He made her feel extraordinary. In her worst moments, even knowing Vadim hid inside her, a monster waiting to activate his spy, Dragomir still managed to make her feel as if she was beautiful, innocent and amazing. She didn't know how he did it, but right then she didn't care. She didn't care that others might see her as weak. She would lean on him just as he asked, and she would trust him to stay.
I have blood on my face. Smeared. I look awful.
Now you are clean. All you do, sivamet, is picture what you want, in this case a clean face, and you have it. I did it for you, but when you're alone, practice.
Thank you. She opened the door and Blaze and Charlotte stood there, big grins on their faces and packages in their arms. She stepped back and waved them inside. "I'm sorry it took so long to get to the door."
"No matter," Charlotte said. "We've brought some awesome things. They arrived this evening, flown in from Paris, as well as from the Carpathian Mountains."
Blaze flung her arms around Emeline, hugging her tightly, forgetting all about personal space. "I am so excited to see what a prince would send you."
"Dragomir sent word that you were pregnant. He wanted Ivory Malinov to know she had blood kin, so to speak."
Emeline's breath caught in her lungs until she felt as if she were burning for air. You told the other Carpathians about Carisma?
I am proud that our daughter will one day be the lifemate to a warrior. More than likely she will be a warrior herself, defender, like you, of her children and home. Her aunt Ivory is legendary. She hunts with a pack of wolves and her lifemate is Razvan. At one time, he was the most despised man in Carpathian history. Now he is renowned.
A defender of children and her home? Emeline was torn between laughter and tears. Already he was choosing for his daughter.
Look to your gifts.
Emeline wasn't positive how to feel about what he'd done. Perhaps you should have discussed this with me.
I wanted to surprise you. Carisma is our child, Emeline, but she belongs to all the Carpathian people, and they deserve the chance to welcome her. I knew they would send gifts.
Gifts? She looked at the packages. "Gifts?" she murmured aloud.
"Genevieve is coming as well," Charlotte said. "She needs adult company. She said if she stayed with the children one more hour she would begin blubbering like a baby."
Emeline couldn't help the smile. It was small, but genuine. She pressed a hand to her belly. She was very small to be pregnant, but already the conversion and Dragomir's care were showing. Her skin and hair looked a thousand times better. She wasn't in pain, and that took away the lines in her face.
"Dragomir sent word to the Carpathian Mountains, to the prince, that I was pregnant." She stood, one hand on the door, waiting for Genevieve to get there. She was hurrying up the path.
"And now look. Gifts. I can't wait to see what they sent," Charlotte said. "Tariq talks to the prince all the time, and he said Mikhail and Raven were very excited to know you are carrying a girl. We need them desperately."
Genevieve hurried in, a little breathless but smiling. "Lourdes was upset and didn't want to take a bath. Thank God for Amelia. She has a way with children." She hugged Emeline briefly and followed that up with hugging Blaze and Charlotte.
Amelia. Emeline was so glad Amelia was going to be all right. There was no changing the things that had happened to her, but now, at least, she could begin the healing process.
"She is wonderful with children, isn't she?" Emeline mused. Amelia had been used by Vadim. Her sliver hadn't lain dormant, Vadim had actually directed her to spy on and harm those within the compound. Emeline had told her she wasn't responsible. She was a victim.
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip. Had she been lying to Amelia? Did she secretly despise the girl for the things that had happened to her? Things out of her control? No. Of course not. What was wrong with her that she could say those things and mean them to Amelia, but not apply them to herself?
Do you ever get tired of my feeling sorry for myself?
Dragomir's soft laughter warmed her heart. She loved to hear him laugh. She knew it didn't happen often and she felt it was a great victory every time she made him laugh--even it if was at her expense. Han sivamak.
He stroked the endearment along the walls of her mind. Caressing her with it. Beloved. She loved how he called her that. Or his heart. Sometimes it was keeper of his soul. But she loved beloved.
Pesad te engemal.
I don't know what that means.
It means you are safe with me. Do you feel safe? Do you know that I would do anything for you? Pesad te engemal. You are safe with me.
She loved him so much she was overwhelmed with the emotion. She wanted to run to him, fling her arms around him and hold him tight. Just hold him, so he knew he was just as safe with her. She wasn't going anywhere. If Amelia could face the Carpathian world, holding her head high without an extraordinary man like Dragomir standing beside her, then certainly Emeline could do it.
I love you so very much, Dragomir.
That is a good thing, since I am not giving you up.
"Stop talking to your man and come have girl time," Charlotte said, taking the door from Emeline's hand and closing it firmly. "Sheesh."
"How do you know I was talking to him?" she asked, striving for a little dignity.
"You have that goofy look on your face every time you look at him and it's so much worse when you talk to him," Charlotte said.
"I don't have a goofy look," she denied, although she knew she probably did.
"Yeah you do," Blaze said. "All mushy and starry-eyed." She caught her hand and pulled her to the couch. "When we were kids, we'd make fun of some of the women who would look all googly-eyed at their men. We'd giggle about it and vow we'd never be like that."
Emeline glared at her. "I hope you're not implying that I'm gaga over Dragomir."
"Not implying it, babe, I'm stating a fact," Blaze said. "Your eyes go dreamy and you smile this beautiful, but very goofy,
I'm-so-in-love-with-you sort of smile."
"I refuse to dignify that with an answer." Emeline sank down onto the cushions of the sofa.
The three visitors laughed, and she couldn't help joining in. She did feel goofy when Dragomir was anywhere near her, let alone talking to her in that velvet-soft voice of his.
"I want to see what a prince sends," she said. But she was more interested in Ivory's reaction. Would she accept Carisma as blood kin?
Charlotte handed her a large carefully wrapped package. Emeline took it, and the moment she put her hands on it, she felt the power of it, even wrapped. Whatever had been sent had safeguards embedded deep. She bit her lip and looked up at her friends. "I can already feel the energy coming off it." Good energy. Powerful.
She removed the wrapping paper without tearing it, revealing a quilt, one that would go over a crib. Squares of bright material, each stitched with obvious care, made up the blanket. She picked up the letter and scanned it quickly.
"Each individual square has been created by a Carpathian couple from the prince's stronghold."
Raven and Mikhail were represented by a forest, a raven and a crown. She touched the square and instantly felt a burst of strength and reassurance as well as the presence of safeguards. Strong ones. Shea and Jacques, the prince's brother, had contributed a square depicting the forest as well, but with a sense of peace. When she touched that square, the stars gleamed silver and glittered like diamonds.
Gregori, the prince's second-in-command, and Savannah, the prince's daughter, had also contributed a forest scene to the quilt, but in theirs the leaves had a silver sheen, and as Emeline touched it, she swore she could hear the sound of laughter. Four small owls peeped through the branches of trees at her touch. She did it twice and the others leaned forward to listen to the childish laughter.
Emeline held the quilt to her chest, once more feeling the burn of tears. It was a beautiful, thoughtful gift and she would spend a long time looking at the various squares the Carpathian people had put together to make it. No wonder it was so powerful. Each couple had embedded safeguards and soothing, peaceful messages to the baby. Her baby. No, their baby. Dragomir had done this; he was the reason they'd sent such an incredible gift.
Dark Legacy Page 30
