by Crystal Ash
Raum looked up, his eyes apologetic.
"There's a reason very few people can know the future, Deja. It's an immensely heavy burden. Humanity would drive itself to extinction if they could see as far ahead as me." He paused. "The stronger I became with it, the more of a burden it is. Living with it for two thousand years has taught me a few things."
He came around the counter and touched the sides of my face with both of his large hands, threading his fingers through my hair.
"I don't keep things from you to be patronizing or even protective. I know you can handle yourself, little witch." His thumbs stroked the apples of my cheekbones. "The passage of time is so complex, it's not fully linear. History is always repeating itself and yet nothing is ever the same as before. I can barely make sense of it enough myself to describe it to you. Just please trust me when I say you don't want to know everything in my head. You have enough in your own as it is."
"But is it something to do with my mother's death?" I asked. "I can't shake that she's not being honest with me about that."
Raum pressed his lips together in a thin line.
"You will find out the truth, Deja. Trust me that you will. But you are not meant to carry the burden of that knowledge right now. There is more you must discover first. Lucifer made it very clear to me. This is my burden to bear, okay?"
I nodded, giving in to his request. It still frustrated me but logically, I could understand. He didn't just have thousands of years of memories in his head, but what happened before and what was yet to come. If I didn't have magic, I would have gone mad with all the events recorded in my head. If I saw everything he did, I just might.
His playful smirk returned and he dropped a sensual kiss to my lips.
"Have a good lesson tonight, little witch." His hand brushed against my ass as he left the building.
With a sigh, I locked up and headed in the opposite direction toward the train station.
Laurel and John, the Golden Moon Coven's High Priestess and Priest, lived in a large house just outside of San Francisco. It was a spacious, affluent area tucked back into the hills and surrounded by dense trees and land. Perfect for practicing magic outdoors when you wanted a bit of space and privacy.
I rapped my knuckles on the heavy wooden door three times. Laurel answered immediately with a wide smile on her face.
"Hey, great to see you, Deja! Come in, come in."
I followed her inside and noticed her ceremonial black robe with golden moons hanging in front of the fireplace. She wore those while conducting my initiation ceremony, and gifted me a matching one when I officially joined.
"Purifying them with cherry wood smoke," she explained. "That's the burden of being a fire witch, everything's gotta get smokey!"
"Good thing I'm water," her husband John, who sat in an armchair, added with a chuckle. "I've put out a lot of fires throughout our marriage, literally and figuratively."
"Opposites attract, huh?" I said with a smile. My own magic was fueled by the element of earth. I derived my power from the energy of nature. I could heal, destroy, and bend the forces of nature to my will. With my extra somewhat immortal demon abilities, I likely had a lot more abilities that I had yet to discover.
"That's what they say," Laurel said with an affectionate glance at John.
"So are you the one teaching me shadow magic tonight?" I asked her.
"Oh no, dear. Your teacher is waiting outside." She jerked her thumb to the screen door leading to their wooded, private backyard. "Our place just happens to be the central hub for any lessons or unofficial coven meetings."
"Oh okay," I said, slightly taken aback, trying to recall if I had already met all the coven members already or not. "Is it someone that I've met before?"
"I'm not sure, dear. You may have met him at the full moon gathering before your ceremony. I was so busy back then, I can't recall though."
I shrugged and headed toward the sliding door, feeling prepared to introduce myself if need be. The door slid open and I blinked at the darkness of the outside, the chilly air already nipping at my face.
"Nice of you to show up," a raspy voice said as I slid the door closed behind me.
A pair of stormy gray eyes seemed to float in the darkness, followed by a bright but predatory smile.
I gasped when I recognized the face approaching me.
"Seth!" I hissed.
The demon hunter who was supposed to be on the other side of the world.
4
DEJA
"What are you doing here?" I demanded.
"Teaching the newest coven member about shadow work. I hear she's supposed to be incredibly powerful but untrained." He tilted his head. "Unfortunately, she's also a rotten bitch."
"I thought you were supposed to be out of the country."
He shrugged. "Plans changed and my coven needed me. Although I can think of much better ways to waste my time than with an ungrateful brat."
I fumed from the porch, my fists clenched at my sides. I had only met him once before, at the full moon party at this same house, and barely talked to him even then. But I learned enough to know that he hunted the species of the men I loved. If that wasn't enough for me to hate him, he was also an arrogant asshole.
I went home from the party and told Raum and Sal right away. They didn't seem worried and even supported me in joining the coven. I did so under the impression that Seth would be away for the most part, doing his demon hunting in remote parts of the world. If he came around I could easily avoid him, while learning from the rest of my new family.
Turning around, I abruptly opened the screen door and re-entered the house, Seth's annoyed scoffs echoing in the yard as I did so.
Laurel and John looked up at me, firelight flickering on their faces.
"Need something, dear? Seth should have any supplies that you need."
"Um." I hooked my fingers in my belt loops, suddenly feeling acutely aware of being the brat he'd just called me. "Is there any way someone else could teach me?"
They both blinked, taken aback by my question.
"I'm really sorry, I just don't know Seth very well," I stammered. "And I don't think our personalities are a good fit."
"Well, no better way to find out than to learn from him, right?"
The rhetorical question came from Laurel, who was clearly the bulldog in the room. Her tone indicated that she wouldn't back down without a fight.
"Seth is one of the best when it comes to shadow magic. Not just in our coven but in the country," she continued, rising to her feet. "I understand he's blunt and a bit rough around the edges but there is truly no better teacher for you, Deja. To control your power you need someone who works in the shadows every day. That's what he does as a demon hunter."
I ground my teeth, realizing my mistake. I could blow my cover if I made a show of refusing to be around him. No matter how much I wanted to punch his smug face, I had to act like the rest of my fellow witches. Like demons were meant to be wiped off the face of the earth, even if I knew better.
"Infiltrate the enemy," the guys had told me. "It's what your best at."
Well, it had been nearly a thousand years since I had any practice. So while trying to sort through all the memories in my head, I was a little rusty.
"I'm sorry," I said, forcing my jaw to relax in a smile. "You're totally right. I think I'm just nervous."
Laurel returned my smile, though her eyes remained sharply on me.
"I understand, dear. No one likes being the new girl. Trust me, it does get easier." She lifted her eyebrows. "Now enjoy the lesson and let us know if you need anything."
With a curt nod, I turned back to the door. Seth looked at me with a bored expression, his long arms and legs draped over the lawn chair. He said nothing but watched me as I approached.
I took a deep breath and stopped right in front of him.
"I owe you an apology," I said, the words reluctant to leave my throat.
"Do you, now?" His tone r
emained bored but his grey eyes flashed with amusement. He enjoyed seeing me taken down a peg and I hated that he enjoyed it.
"Yes," I said through clenched teeth. "I was rude to you just now and also at the full moon party. There's no excuse for that." I stuck out my hand. "Whether we're friends or not, you're a part of my extended family now. So can we call a truce and at least be civil?"
His eyes flickered from my face to my hand and the barest hint of a smile touched his lips. It reminded me of Raum's smirk.
"I'm waiting," he said, a challenge in his voice.
"For?" I blinked.
"That apology." He leaned back, easing his lithe body into the chair. "You said you owe me one, spouted your ass-kissing bullshit so you won't get in trouble with the elders, now I'm waiting for what you owe me."
My hand at my side clenched into a fist. No matter what I'd do, this smug bastard wasn't going to take it easy on me. I had a feeling our lessons would go much the same way.
"I'm sorry," I spat after a long silence. "For being a jerk to you."
He dipped his chin in a nod and sat up, reaching forward to accept my hand. The moment his fingers touched mine, my body felt like it experienced a power outage.
My vision darkened until it went black. Sounds and smell faded to nothing. It was like the dreams I had before my memories returned, surrounded by impenetrable blackness. But this was even scarier because my other senses felt cut off. My heart crashed against my sternum and I had enough time to think one panicked thought. What's happening?
And just as suddenly, it all came back.
Seth stood before me with a smug look, clasping my hand. Crickets chirped in the brush surrounding us and the cool, dewy night air kissed my skin. Distantly, a raven cawed.
"Apology accepted." Seth pulled his hand away, revealing a full-on smirk as I stood blinking dumbly. "So three lovers, huh? I knew you had a freaky side."
"What was that?" I demanded, staring at my hand like it betrayed me. "What did you do? How do you know that?"
"I read your shadows," he said casually. "Rule number one of shadow work and magic in general-- not everything is literal. Everything in the physical world casts a shadow. The same goes for the metaphysical and the intangible. Normal humans refer to them as secrets and the subconscious."
"You can read my mind just from touching me?"
"No. I have no way of knowing what you're thinking or feeling. My magic searches for what's hidden." His smirk grew. "I find out what you don't want people to know."
My heart jumped into my throat. How much had he seen?
"Sometimes," he growled softly, leaning even closer to me. "I see things you don't even know about yourself."
"Great," I muttered, trying to keep my panic from showing as I folded my arms across my chest. I was well-dressed against the cold but felt naked and exposed in light of his ability. "So what else did you learn about my three lovers?"
"Not much," he admitted with a small shrug. "Your shadows are deep and incredibly dark. You have more hidden away than most people I've touched." He tilted his head like a curious animal. It almost would have been cute if he didn't piss me off so much. "Rough childhood, babe?" he mocked. "Did Daddy hurt you?"
"Okay, you know what." I backed away, holding my hands up. "I'm this close to calling off our truce and taking back my apology. You don't get to be an asshole just because I swallowed my pride and gave this a chance."
"You want to learn shadow magic or not?" he challenged. "You want to learn your true self and protect your mind? Or leave it vulnerable for dark witches and incubi to fuck around with until there's nothing left? What good is your earth magic if you don't know your thumbs from your asshole, let alone unable to cast it again?"
A long, tense pause passed between us.
"This is personal to you, isn't it?" I asked, my voice low. "You feel responsible for protecting people in the coven?"
He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant but I could see the tension in his brow.
"I'm the only one that can, really." The arrogance was gone from his tone. He was telling me the simple truth. "I've seen horrors you wouldn't believe. You think humans are capable of atrocities? That's nothing compared to those with powers like ours."
I bit my tongue, fighting the urge to tell him I'd seen plenty of exactly what he was talking about, and across hundreds of lifetimes. The chance was good that my three lovers coordinated such violence. To maintain balance, it was necessary.
"So the reason why you're such an asshole is because you can't be a superhero?" It was my turn to mock him. "You can't save us all, so you have to resort to teaching people how to save themselves."
He stood abruptly but didn't rise to my bait. Towering over me, his chest just inches away from my face, he flung a hand out toward the house.
"Feel free to walk away," he sneered. "Like I said, I won't waste my time with someone not willing to learn."
I sucked in a breath, not willing to go through that door a second time.
"I'm willing to learn as long as you keep the assholery to a minimum," I said. "If I have to behave, so do you."
He cocked his head to the side again, scratching the stubble on his chin thoughtfully.
"Fair enough," he said. I realized that was the biggest concession I'd get from him so I took it. "Just tell me one thing, though."
I cocked an eyebrow, waiting for his question.
"What kind of man shares his woman with two other men?"
I lifted my chin to look directly into his stormy gray eyes and tilted my head to the side like he did.
"The kind who loves his woman so much that he wants her happiness more than anything else. He's self-aware enough to know that one person can't fulfill all of her needs. He's humble enough to step aside when she needs someone else as well as step up when it's him that she craves. And he's confident enough to know that her love is genuine too, and she'll never stray."
I leaned back, finally feeling like the smug one for once. My heart squeezed at the idea that I could have been referring to any one of my three lovers.
Seth didn't seem particularly moved by my monologue. "And what about a man's needs?"
It was my turn to shrug. "What about them? Men are people, too. Their needs are as varied and multifaceted as any woman's. I totally get that my arrangement wouldn't work with all men." I nodded at him. "But they're not the ones I want in my bed or my life, anyway. I'm lucky enough to have found the three who are perfect for me."
"Right," he scoffed. "And would you be willing to share them with other women?"
"No," I answered quickly. "But that's not what they want either. They're devoted to me. Just as I'm devoted to each one of them."
"Whatever," he muttered with a slight shake of his head. "Your personal affairs are none of my business. Let's get to the lesson. We've wasted enough time."
5
SALMAC
On four large paws, I slunk low to the ground, keeping behind the treeline.
The witch's house backed up to dense woods and their property wasn't fenced in. These humans loved being close to nature without any real implication of what that meant. Witches were slightly more in tune with the natural world but they still had dulled human senses.
Deja and the male witch's voices floated up to me from the clearing of the backyard. My feline ears swiveled forward, picking up their words easily. I could also see them clearly in the dark, although I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to.
She stood in the middle of the clearing with her eyes closed and palms outstretched by her sides. The man moved behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. He leaned down and spoke closely to her ear, instructing her on how to search through the shadows in her subconscious. A low growl rolled in my throat.
They didn't hear it but Raum, sitting overhead in a tree, fluffed his black feathers in amusement.
Jealous, brother?
Don't you see what I'm seeing? His hands are all over her.
And As
h's hands will be all over her later tonight, he mused. No need to get bent out of shape over it.
I can smell that she doesn't like him. He hunts our incubus brothers and she hates having to learn from someone who kills our kind.
She will be fine. Just trust her.
I do. It's him I don't trust. He wants her and he knows more about our powers than the average witch. He could manipulate or hurt her if we don't keep an eye out.
That's why you're on the ground and I'm in the air. But we don't get involved. Not unless she's clearly in distress.
I know that. I've been at this longer than you, birdbrain.
Raum laughed. You're crouched like you're ready to rip the guy's throat out.
Honestly, I am. Just waiting for a reason to do it.
What if she chose him?
I extended my claws into the brush of the forest floor. She wouldn't. Then I flicked one ear up to the bird I couldn't see. Why? Have you seen that she does?
I'm just saying what if, he repeated. What would you do then?
The witch man moved a few feet away from Deja and I relaxed my claws.
It would be her choice, so I'd have to accept it. I lowered my belly all the way to the ground for a relaxed posture. I don't see her adding another to her legion, though. Especially not a mere human.
I didn't either, Raum said, his voice sounding almost sad. But this long absence of hers has changed things. Things are different now. She didn't just pick up where she left off. She was born, had a childhood, and spent most of her life believing she was an ordinary human. That affects things much differently now than back then.
I didn't want to admit it but he was right. The world was a completely different place from when she left it.
We missed the hell out of our woman for centuries. Each of our souls felt like a piece of it had been ripped out with her, leaving an empty, wounded hole. The only thing that kept us going for so long was the knowledge that we'd eventually have her back. Now that we did, we had to face the reality that nothing would be the same as before, as much as we'd like it to be.
