by Kirby Crow
“In my land, if a man tries to take another man’s mate, he’s an enemy,” Scarlet said. “Doesn’t that amount to Ressanda sending me a message with those damned horses? He wants me gone or dead. I can feel it.”
“What Baron Ressanda wants is irrelevant.” Jochi stood up and stepped in front of Scarlet to stop his pacing. His golden eyes were bright. “Ser Keriss, listen to me. The baron would not dare to lay hands on your life. He knows the king would destroy his entire family if he did so, and promises be damned. I think...” He hesitated and seemed to be choosing his words with care. “I think perhaps you are too close to the situation to see it clearly.”
“All I can see is that Liall’s kingdom wants him to take a wife, and me to take the first ship back to Byzantur. Or preferably a long drop off a tall pier and into the cold sea.”
“Ser! This is not so. Everyone in the Nauhinir is fond of you. You are the adored of the king and there could be no kinder friend than you. Why do you say these hurtful things?”
Scarlet’s chest was aching. “Because I’m scared, why else? I don’t think I can do what Liall wants this time, and I’m afraid I’ll lose him for it. Isn’t there another way?”
“The barons have not been sympathetic regarding the king’s reluctance to marry and produce an heir. Their main concern is the stability of the realm. They care little for hearts, or whose may be broken.”
“My heart isn’t broken. Not yet, anyway. Like he said, they can’t make him do it.”
“But they can, ser.”
Scarlet went very still. He could always rely on Jochi to tell as much of the truth as he was permitted to. One thing Jochi had never done was lie to him. “Tell me.”
“They can put certain conditions on trade within Rshan, and claim that it is because the realm is unstable while there is no marriage and no heir. They can decline to give their aid in times of famine or want, or they can withhold information, or the use of their trading ships, or even refuse to send soldiers to guard the capital. They can do all manner of things that would take a month to explain to you. You must believe me: they are not powerless. The Council of Barons has always had a strong hand in the governing of Rshan. Unlike your Flower Prince, the voice of our king is not the voice of a deity.”
“Maybe that should change.”
Jochi tilted the same kind of look at him as Nevoi did when they sparred long-knives: measuring and cautious. “Were I you, I would take care in expressing such views openly. You know how close we came to civil war last year. If the king wages such a battle and loses, he will lose his head as well. And yours. Is that what you seek?”
“Of course not. I’m not a bloody fool, you know.”
“Then heed me.” Jochi put the book down and stared into Scarlet’s eyes. “As much as I want to comfort you, I cannot reassure you on this matter. I cannot even agree with you. The king must have a wife and—very soon thereafter—an heir, and there is little if not nothing you can do to prevent it. You can delay it, yes, for years perhaps. But if you do, you also put the king in jeopardy. Quite aside from the politics and the danger, each day that the king sees your distress and pain and knows that he can do nothing to spare you, you hurt him.”
Scarlet was resentful. “He hurt me enough when we came here, kept me locked away, told me nothing, shared nothing.”
“He was ashamed,” Jochi said with patience. “He never wanted you to know the cause of his exile.” His eyes narrowed. “Is that what this is about? I never took you for a vengeful person, ser. Looking back, even the king knows he was wrong to hide so much of his past from you, but you are the one hurting him now.”
Scarlet frowned and crossed his arms. He would not have this monstrous unfairness turned back around on him. “I know where your loyalties rest, Jochi.”
“I am loyal to the House of Camira-Druz. That includes you, ser. The king was wrong to lie to you and I have said so, but what’s done is done. You cannot hold on to it forever. Do you really believe the king would choose to put a woman in his bed when he could have you?”
Scarlet’s jaw tightened. “He was engaged to Shikhoza once. He isn’t...” He faltered and his cheeks flushed. “He isn’t like me... like that. He’s bedded women before. He enjoys it. I can’t do that.”
Jochi’s voice softened. “Is that what troubles you? You really don’t know men very well, do you, ser? Listen then: Ressilka is beautiful, yes. And King Nazheradei has had a few female lovers in the past, but...” He held up his index finger meaningfully, “he’s had more male lovers than women. Our king is known to prefer the touch of men. That fact puts Lady Ressilka at a distinct disadvantage that she will never be able to change or overcome. She’s simply the wrong gender for him.”
Scarlet blinked. “I hadn’t thought...”
“You should. I hear that Ressilka rides with her father’s men and learns the sword as they do, but she can’t change who she is any more than you can grow taller.”
Scarlet looked away. “And just how do you know so much about Liall’s lovers?”
“Well, I do not know about the lovers he might have taken in your lands,” Jochi demurred, “but here it is common knowledge. A royal court dearly loves gossip. Also, the king informed me.”
Scarlet wondered how that subject might have come up. “I suppose you’ve talked to Ressilka, too?”
“Of course I have. The Lady Ressilka is not a close acquaintance, but I know her father well. She finds our king most pleasing.”
Scarlet scowled. “You’re trying to make me angry.”
“I’m trying to make you see that you have weapons of your own in this battle, ser, if a battle it is. You have nothing to fear from a woman who simply cannot give the king what he most desires. She may become his wife and have his name, yes, but you will have his heart. Is that so little?”
A familiar ache throbbed in the middle of Scarlet’s chest. “It’s everything. But that’s not how it will happen. She’s beautiful and young and she can give Liall so much that I can’t.”
“A child.”
He nodded, though Jochi hadn’t guessed all of it. “I could fight for Liall if it was another man wanting him, but Ressilka’s highborn and she’s one of his people. If he marries her, she’ll be the mother of his children. What will I be?” He returned to his chair and slumped in it, feeling almost ill. “You keep mentioning my rank, saying it’s valuable, saying I should be aware of it. Well, what will my rank be when there’s a queen in the Nauhinir again?”
Jochi hesitated, and Scarlet knew he had made a point.
“You should be telling all this to the king, ser, not to me,” Jochi said. “If he knew your fears exactly, he could set your mind to rest.”
“With words?” Scarlet said bitterly. “It’s not words that count under the sheets. She’ll share his bed and his children and his throne. You say your people accept me here in the palace. I know that, and I’m grateful. But as soon as she passes under the gates, I’ll be the lenilyn foreigner again.” He began to gnaw on a fingernail. Jochi was silent for so long that Scarlet looked up. “I’m right aren’t I?”
Jochi stepped closer and pulled on Scarlet’s wrist, tugging his finger away from his teeth.
“Don’t chew your nails,” he sighed. “It is a fact of nature, my young friend, though not a fair one, that blood often binds as closely as love. The king will not stop loving you if he marries the Lady Ressilka, but I can’t promise you that he’ll feel nothing for her in the years to come. I’ll not lie to you; it’s a lasting bond to marry and mate and produce children. Those are facts, unless the two to be paired are such enemies that profit or progeny are the only reasons they join. That’s the kind of loveless marriage his mother had with Cestimir’s father. Is that what you want for the king?”
“No,” Scarlet said miserably. “And yes, damn it. I don’t want him to love her.”
“No two loves are exactly the same,” Jochi said, his face set in lines of worry.
Scarlet shook his hea
d, the shame in his heart burning. “No, you don’t understand. I don’t want him to love her in any way. At all. I’m his mate! Not her! We were meant for each other, Liall and me. At least that’s what Deva teaches us. And if... if someone else can come in and change that, what does that say of us? What do we mean to each other if he can even want to bed someone else?”
Jochi looked troubled. “You are so young, and there is much that is unknown and unwritten about Hilurin. Rshani are quite different in many ways. But ser, are you saying that Hilurin do not bed with any but their mates? Ever?”
“We don’t. I only heard tell of one or two Hilurin in my whole life who went astray of their vows, but some of us... we can’t. Hilurin marriages are true bonds before the Goddess. They can only be broken by death.” Scarlet felt a sudden dread. “I’m afraid that Liall may not feel the way I do. He probably doesn’t, and I never heard of any Rshani mating with a Hilurin before.”
“It was done in our ancient past. We have many stories of it.”
“But you don’t know how it was, how they were bonded and how they lived?”
“Hundreds of texts have been lost over the centuries, especially those that contained any information about your people. We do not know a great deal about Hilurin abilities, either, because our ancestors purged that knowledge from history. Out of fear, I think.” Jochi looked saddened. “What a loss.”
Scarlet noted that Jochi refrained from naming his abilities magic. He had found that most Rshani either did not believe his magic was real or else they believed it was evil. He could do many things with his Gift now, much more than he could on the day he sailed from Byzantur with Liall.
“Watch,” he said. He looked to the fire and made a gesture like scattering a handful of dust. The fire flared and babbled, sparks rising in a wave.
Jochi exhaled slowly, fascinated. “Where does such power come from?”
“From Deva, where else?” Scarlet murmured, looking at the innocent palm of his hand. “I can do so much more since I came to Rshan. The goddess must believe I need it, or why would she give it to me?”
“What else have you discovered you can do?” Jochi asked, very carefully.
“I can light fires from across a field,” Scarlet confessed absently. “Make a tree sprint through a year’s growth in an eye-blink. I can close doors from across the room and cause the air to turn warm. Or cold, but there isn’t much use for that here, is there? My magic has grown into something I don’t recognize.” He smiled a little. “Liall would call it elegant. To me, it feels like a caged lion I saw in Ankar once. It resents me and wants to get free of me. What if it just keeps growing?”
Jochi looked shaken. “We do not believe in gods. Not as you do. There were powers once in Rshan na Ostre, now faded beyond recognition. We have the Ancients, but we understand them.”
“I don’t. Melev healed me once. No curae could ever match him, not even a Hilurin. I’ve never seen power like that.” Scarlet felt a shiver at the thought of Melev, who had saved him only to capture him later and attempt to use him for some dark purpose. He was certain that whatever Melev had planned to do to him in the temple ruins would have killed him, or left him such a ruin that not even Liall could love him. “Melev meant to cripple me, to steal my magic. He knew it would kill me, I think.”
Jochi nodded agreement. “So I have guessed, but these are dark things. You should not think of Melev now, with all else that wounds your heart.”
Scarlet gave him a wan smile. “Tactful. It’s Liall who wounds my heart, but you can’t speak ill of him because he’s your king.”
“And my friend.”
“The friend who sacked you,” Scarlet reminded. At least Liall had not sent Jochi away yet.
“He had cause. I know he loves you and would do anything to make this easier. The king has been careful to make inquiries about your happiness. He wishes you never to feel neglected. Or insulted,” Jochi added. “In particular, he has made it known that any slight offered to his t’aishka would be considered a grave insult to the crown, and punishable. He wants only the best for you. He would spare you this hurt if he could.”
“Maybe he can. He hasn’t really tried to spare me from it so far,” Scarlet said glumly. “We’ve had so little happiness together, why can he not wait even a little?”
“The king is wise enough to know there are some things he is not free to decline.”
Scarlet flung his hand through the air as if to cast aside his aching heart with it. The fire answered in a roar, sending flames licking out toward the carpet. Jochi recoiled.
“Why can’t she just look elsewhere for a man of her own?” Scarlet demanded. “She thought she might be Cestimir’s queen, but does that mean she has to be queen or nothing? A man who’s free to love her back might make her happier than a crown. Or maybe that isn’t even her reason. Maybe she’s in love with Liall. I wouldn’t put it past her. Maybe I should never have come here!”
“I hope you don’t mean that,” came a deeper voice.
Jochi bowed low. Liall had entered the library as silent as a cat. He pushed the heavy cloak off his wide shoulders and dropped it into a chair. It was pale blue and had a high mantle of silver chased in elegant lines, and even in his anger Scarlet was admiring him, wanting him.
“Leave us, Jochi, please,” Liall said.
Jochi bowed once more. “Sire.”
When Jochi had gone, Liall stood by the fireplace, looking down into the flames. The fire crackled and threw orange shadows over his hard, handsome features, and Scarlet found himself aching all over again, worse than before.
She’ll love him. Who wouldn’t? And she won’t step aside like some meek miss, not if there’s a king, crown, and children to fight for. Not that one, no. She’s a fighter, and she has all the odds on her side, even time. Time most especially.
“It usually sets a man’s mind at ease to talk over his fears with his friends,” Liall said. “I see it has not worked in this case. Please come here.” He held out his hand, and Scarlet went to him.
“Why should words work when the facts haven’t changed? Don’t look at me like that. It isn’t Jochi’s fault. He tried. He isn’t like most of your counselors. He tells me the truth and he admits it when I strike the nail on the head every now and then. I have plenty of good reasons to be afraid of this. How would you feel if I took a mate apart from you?”
Liall made a growling noise.
“There, you see?” Scarlet pointed a finger at Liall’s nose. “You wouldn’t like it if I shared my bed with someone else.”
“I’d feel slightly more strongly about it than dislike.” Liall’s voice turned hard. “Why? Is there a man you have in mind?”
Scarlet summoned a bright, false smile. “Well, Tesk has always liked me. He painted my picture.” He watched as Liall’s dark face flooded with color. “But no.”
“Then why in three hells did you bring it up?” Liall snarled in frustration.
“To see that look on your face, why else?”
“The Council of Barons—”
“I know, I know.” Scarlet waved his hands. “Your barons want a woman for you and little princes to sit at your feet and inherit your throne, and I can’t give you that, so they want me shoved aside so you can give Ressilka a big belly.”
“Crudely put, but yes, that’s the substance of it. Only I shall not allow you to be ‘shoved aside’. You will not be supplanted or treated poorly. You will always be my t’aishka, always first in my heart and by my side. A queen will not sit at my right hand. You will. I wish blood and marriage were not such an issue when it comes to a throne, but wishing is futile. My barons want a legitimate prince of Camira-Druz, because my power and lineage secured equals their power secured. Does it make no difference at all to you that I have no choice?”
“Don’t play stupid. It’s the difference between a black sheep and a white one covered in soot. They’re the same damn thing, just dressed up different.”
Liall’s e
xpression grew bland. “Your colorful colloquialisms occasionally escape me, Scarlet. Perhaps less metaphor and more plain speech would be in order.”
“Oh, go fuck yourself, you great prissy giant!” Scarlet shot back. “If you’re going to start that with those mile-long words you know I don’t understand then you can just pout here by your lonesome.” He turned away.
“I am not pout... Scarlet, come back here!”
By the time he’d reached the door, Liall was ahead of him, blocking the way with his body. Liall leaned his back against the door and looked down at him.
“We are going to speak of this without you running away,” he said solemnly. “I’ve let it go too long and now it’s like a block of ice between us. It’s pushing us apart and I cannot bear it. I don’t enjoy forcing you, but you will hear me out this time.”
“I’ve heard you!” Scarlet shouted, his heart thumping in fear. “I’ve heard you, I’ve heard Alexyin, I’ve heard Jochi, and I’ve heard you again and again. It’s you who won’t listen!”
“Alexyin?” Liall barked. “I did not give Alexyin leave to speak to you of these things. When did this happen?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Scarlet said quickly, aware that he had slipped up. Wouldn’t Alexyin take that as proof that he had run to Liall with complaints? He was doing exactly what he said he wouldn’t do. “I misspoke. I didn’t speak with Alexyin about... about this.”
Liall’s eyes were dark, questioning. “You’re lying to me,” he said in wonder. “That’s not like you in the least. Why are you lying to me, Scarlet?”
“Because you’re not listening to what I’m really saying.”
“I’m right here. I’m listening now,” Liall pointed out with patience. “Talk to me, redbird.”
Scarlet closed his eyes on a spasm of pain. He took a deep breath and bunched his fists. “How old are you?”
Liall’s bows drew together in a little frown. “You know very well how old I am. I am in my eighth decade.”
