We watched the rest of the class, Hailey hardly able to sit still the closer we got to the jog. With one trip left, Martha and Hektor took off the ponies’ flysheets and we walked them up to the in gate. Soon the first jog was called. I had won, Dakota was second, and Hailey was third.
As we came out, Elena called, “Second jog. . . .”
Hailey was chewing on the tip of her gloved finger. I felt more nervous for her than I ever felt for myself.
“319 jogs first . . .”
Dakota led her pony past Hailey, her head held high.
Hailey’s shoulders slumped.
“299 second . . .”
Hailey was second. A great ribbon at Fairlee. But it wasn’t winning and she wouldn’t be reserve.
It was strange to watch the second jog from the side of the ring. It was also painful to watch Dakota take the blue ribbon and see Hailey coming in second behind her. Dakota finished with twenty-nine points and Hailey with twenty-one. If Hailey had won and Dakota had been second they would have been tied with twenty-five points and Hailey would have been reserve champion because more of her points were over fences. When would Hailey ever get a break? I had done everything I could to help and it still wasn’t enough. Should I have tried to win the class and take the blue away from Dakota? Would Hailey have been reserve then? No, Dakota still would have been reserve.
Hailey came out of the ring and Susie gave her a big hug. “Don’t worry, sweetie. We’ll get you qualified next weekend. You rode great.”
Hailey nodded. “It just would have been nice to do it here.” She looked at me and said through gritted teeth, “And to beat Dakota.”
“At least you didn’t go off course like me,” I said. “How could I be so stupid?”
Hailey mumbled, “Yeah, I guess,” but I knew it was no consolation. Hailey glanced out over the show grounds and I could tell she was trying hard to hold it together, to not fall apart into tears. Although it had happened to all of us at one point or another, there was nothing worse than being that girl—the girl hurrying away from the ring, her face full of hot, embarrassed tears.
Hailey made it back to the barn before she gave in to the tears. I found her in Donald’s empty stall. She shielded her face when she saw me. “I came so close. Stupid Donald.”
I knew Hailey didn’t mean it—she loved Donald. She wiped her face and sniffed back her tears. “I’m so sorry. Here I am crying over a ribbon . . . talk about insensitive.”
“No, you’re crying over not qualifying.”
“Yeah, but your mom has cancer. I’m like such a bad friend right now.”
“Please don’t treat me different—please weep openly,” I said. “That’s what a friend does—treat you like your mom doesn’t have cancer.”
“I just want to blame someone. Donald, Dakota, the judge, but nothing’s really doing it for me. I still feel awful and now I have to go to some dinky show and, if I don’t qualify there, I’ll feel like even more of a loser.”
“You’ll qualify,” I said. “Doesn’t it stink when you can’t find anything to blame?”
Jane came around the corner, a hand on her hip. “Please tell me you’re not having a pity-party without me?”
“No, way.” Hailey giggled through her tears. “Come on in. We’re just getting started.”
That was how we ended up at Fairlee, in Donald’s stall, laughing, crying a little, too. I loved my friends. And, in the coming months, I would need them more than I knew.
Chapter 31
* * *
Susie said since the ponies were so good at Fairlee, we’d give them both Monday and Tuesday off. It rained both days and so I spent most of the time reading and watching TV. Tyler had never been turned out before coming to our barn. Judy Ford and the Sowles family hadn’t wanted to risk him hurting himself. Martha had started him off in the smallest turnout and now he was allowed to go out in one of the bigger fields. When I drove up to the barn on Wednesday, he was out in the field and was covered in mud. The field was mostly grass but he had found the one dirt patch that was a puddle from all the rain and rolled in it. He looked so entirely pleased with himself and for once, with the mud caked on his fur—even on his face—he didn’t look anything like a fancy show pony. I liked the idea of him rolling in the puddle—of him being able to be a real horse and do something he’d never even known existed. I felt badly that while I was riding Sammy and Drizzle, Martha would be bringing him in and vacuuming off all that hard-earned mud.
On Wednesday and Thursday we hacked the ponies and on Friday we had a lesson again. Afterward, we took the ponies up to the little hill behind the barn where there was lots of shade from the tall oak trees and really nice grass. Tyler was still wet and as the sun dried his coat in patches it made him look like he was two-toned.
He buried his muzzle in the grass and devoured it. Donald was pickier, pulling Hailey away from me and Jane, never satisfied with what looked like perfectly good grass. Frankie kept raising his head between bites, as if being allowed to graze was just too good to be true and the boogey man was waiting in the shadows to get him. When he pulled up his head, he looked far into the distance and I wondered what he was searching for. I’d gotten some replies to my posting, but they were just “good luck” or “hope you get answers.” So far, no one actually knew anything about Frankie.
Jane shook her head. “He’s making me feel dizzy just watching him. Up and down, up and down.”
“Have you decided on your song yet?” I asked Hailey. Beating Dakota was even more of a priority after Fairlee.
“I was going back and forth between Adele and Tina Turner. Then last night I had a better idea.” Hailey spread her hands in front of her. “‘I Love Rock and Roll’ by Joan Jett.”
Jane and I looked at her with blank faces.
“You’ve never heard of it? You’ve heard of Joan Jett, right?”
We both shook our heads.
“Oh my god, I’ll play it for you later. Joan Jett was this totally awesome seventies rocker chick. I could dress up like her—all in black.”
“I guess we need to hear the song.” Jane touched her hand to her cheek. “Are you guys hot?”
It was mid-eighties and I’d been hot during our lesson. Now that we were in the shade I’d cooled down. “I’m not that bad.”
“Hektor came over and made us tacos last night.” Jane grimaced. “They were really spicy. I don’t know if it was the tacos or what, but I feel gross.”
Frankie had finally settled down somewhat when all of a sudden Alex roared out of the woods on his bike. Frankie shied, nearly leaping into Tyler. I took a tighter hold of the lead shank. Tyler jumped away from Frankie, getting his front legs tangled up with each other in the process. I heard the grating sound of metal scraping metal, shoe hitting shoe.
“Alex!” Jane shrieked.
The ponies were standing apart now, heads raised. Tyler was standing what looked like evenly on both his front feet, but that scraping sound hadn’t been good.
“Dad is going to kill you. You’re not supposed to be riding in the woods. And you don’t even have your helmet on!”
I noticed Alex’s hair, which was a little sweaty. My stomach fluttered. I should have been worried about Tyler, but I was focused on Alex. I didn’t get to see him all that much. Any time I did, I wanted to study him so I would remember what he looked like.
He moved his hair off his forehead with a flip of his head. “You’re gonna tell on me?”
Jane didn’t answer. Instead she looked at Tyler. “Is he okay?”
Tyler. Right, Tyler. I took my eyes off Alex and picked up Tyler’s left foot. The shoe was on and seemed fine. I picked up the other. My stomach sank as I saw the shoe had come off by the heel. He must have caught one shoe with the other and pulled it loose. It was sticking up at a bad angle.
“He grabbed himself. One shoe’s a little off.”
“I can’t believe this!” Jane turned to Alex. Frankie snuck a quick bite of grass and
then raised his head again to look at the bike, wide-eyed, while he chewed. Tyler had resumed eating happily again. Donald had pulled Hailey a little ways off.
“I’m sorry.” Alex wiped his forehead. “How was I supposed to know you were grazing up here?”
“Because we graze up here,” Jane said. “And where’s your helmet anyway?”
“I left it in a secret spot.”
Jane made a face. “I really don’t want a vegetable for a brother. If you die that’s one thing . . .”
“Thanks for the sisterly love.”
I chuckled. Sibling fights looked kind of fun. There was always this undercurrent of love. I wished I had a brother or sister to hate.
“So is this the pony that cost so much?” Alex gave Tyler a once-over.
Hailey had pulled Donald closer to us and she laughed, like maybe she was relieved someone else spoke without thinking for once.
“Alex!” Jane screeched. “That’s rude.”
“He just looks like a pony to me,” Alex said. “Four legs, tail . . .”
“Then why don’t you go tell Susie that it’s no big deal that Tyler pulled off his shoe? Since you made him do it.”
“I didn’t make him do it.”
“Really?” Jane scowled. “You’re going to deny you did this? You’re not even going to own up to it? You should tell Dad and Susie.”
“I’ll tell them, but it was an accident.”
“An accident that wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t riding in the woods without your helmet. You just better hope Tyler’s okay.”
“Whether I had my helmet on or not has nothing to do with anything.”
“Yes, it does because it’s you breaking the rules . . .”
Alex and Jane were glaring at each other, like they really wanted to punch each other.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” I stepped between them. “He’s standing on it okay. And I’m not sure why we even need to tell anyone what really happened. We could just say he stepped on himself while he was grazing.”
Jane turned to me. Her face looked unusually flushed. “Of course you want to save his butt.” She shook her head like she was disgusted by all of us, even Hailey who was just watching and listening.
Tyler was grazing happily—how much discomfort could he be in? “I just don’t see the point in getting anyone in trouble. I’m sure it can just be tacked back on.”
“Fine. We better bring him back.” Jane shot Alex another look. “Wait till we’re gone before you start your stupid bike.”
On the way back to the barn, Jane said, “It’s one thing to have a crush on him. This is going too far.”
Hailey and I shared a look—Jane was seriously worked up.
I wondered if Jane ever thought about what it might be like to be Alex. It couldn’t be easy the way Jane and her dad had everything in common because of horses. Alex didn’t really fit in. Tommy hardly ever took time off from horse shows to watch Alex’s races.
Back at the barn, Susie took a look at Tyler’s shoe and called Joe. She and Martha discussed whether they should call Dr. Shailor, too. They decided to wait and see what Joe said. Joe arrived an hour later and pulled off the shoe. He said the hoof looked a little bruised and it would be best to leave the shoe off and soak and poultice the hoof. Then, in a few days, he’d put the shoe back on and he thought Tyler would be okay.
“No riding Tyler for a few days,” Susie said to me. “I’m sorry, kiddo.”
I tried to look disappointed. “It’s okay.”
Jane came to ask how Tyler was. Her face was really pale now, but she didn’t seem as mad.
“He’s going to be fine.” I tried to tell her with my eyes not to say anything about Alex.
“You don’t look so good,” Susie said to Jane.
“I don’t feel well. I think it was last night’s dinner.” Jane hugged her stomach.
“Go home,” Susie said. “I’ll tell Tommy. Regan, you walk her home, okay?”
Jane was too sick to say much as we walked to her house. She did manage, “I can’t believe you even like him.”
“I can’t help it . . . he’s really cute.”
Jane shuddered. I’m not sure whether it was from feeling sick or me thinking Alex was cute. I walked with her onto the front porch. She opened the screen door.
“Hello?” her mom called.
“I’m sick,” Jane said. “I think it was the tacos.”
Mrs. Hewitt came to the door. I told her I was just making sure Jane got home okay.
“Thanks.” She put her arm around Jane. “Let’s get you into bed.”
I walked along the pastures back to the barn. A retiree, his mane long and his back swayed, picked up his head from grazing to see what I was up to.
Hailey was sitting out front of the barn on the bench, scrolling through her phone. I sat down next to her.
“How’s Jane?”
“Not good. And she’s freaked about me liking Alex. He’s cute, right? I’m not crazy for thinking that?”
“He’s cute. I don’t like him, but he’s cute.”
“Why can’t Jane see that?”
“He’s her brother.” Hailey said it like she totally understood. I guess not having any siblings I just couldn’t relate.
Hailey held out her phone. “Wanna hear the Joan Jett song?”
She passed me her earbuds. I listened for a while and then pulled one earbud out. “I like it.”
“I’m thinking maybe I could find some black leather pants, wear a wig. Joan Jett had a spiky black mullet.”
I put the earbud back in. The song was loud and bold and I could picture tiny Hailey, all dressed in black, strutting around the stage. The song ended and I handed Hailey back her earbuds.
Anna came out of the barn and hovered near us.
“So you think I should do it?” Hailey asked me.
“Yeah.”
“You’re going to do Joan Jett?” Anna said.
“Probably,” Hailey murmured.
“Jill and I are going to do Kelly Clarkson.”
The lip sync was divided by age groups. Anna and another girl at the barn, Jill, were in the seven-to-nine age group.
Hailey rolled her eyes. “Kelly Clarkson? So predictable.”
Mrs. Mullins pulled up in their minivan. Hailey swung her backpack over her shoulder and flashed me the peace sign. She and Anna climbed into the van. Mrs. Mullins rolled down her window to say hi to me and I could hear Owen yelling. Then Hailey yelled, “Shut up!” Chopper jumped into Mrs. Mullin’s lap and stuck his head out the window. I waved as they pulled out.
The barn seemed really quiet when they were gone. There was a part of me that wished I was in their loud, crazy car with a dog in my lap, fighting with Owen.
A few moments later, as if he were waiting to get me alone, Alex came out of the barn.
Chapter 32
* * *
Alex had his hands in his pockets, shoulders adorably rounded. “Hey, I’m really sorry about your pony. I messed up.”
“It’s okay.”
“But I heard you can’t ride him now.”
“Only for a few days.”
“Still . . .”
Alex stood next to the bench. His hair had dried kind of crazy. I hadn’t been so close to him very often. He had really nice brown eyes and a little scar on his chin from a spill I remembered he took off his bike about a year ago.
I lowered my voice. “I actually don’t mind.”
Alex gave me a puzzled look. “Why?”
I toed the ground with my foot. “I know this sounds weird, but he’s not much fun to ride. He’s too easy.”
“He’s too easy?”
“Well, like what if you were doing an easy motorbike course and you barely had to try to win?”
“But I’d still win?”
“Yeah, but don’t you get a thrill when you do a really hard course?”
“Definitely. I get totally stoked.”
“I don’t ge
t that when I ride Tyler. It’s boring and everything’s supposed to be perfect.”
“I don’t know.” Alex rubbed at his crazy hair. “Still sounds kind of messed up. Jane would love to ride a pony like him.”
We both heard a car’s wheels on the gravel. I looked up to see Mom pulling in. I wished her Mercedes wasn’t so clean and sleek.
“Well, see you,” I said to Alex before Mom could see me talking to him and stop and say something embarrassing.
“Yeah, and thanks, for, you know.”
“Yup.”
As I put on my seatbelt, I watched Alex go back into the barn. Would it really be impossible for something to happen between us? Was there no way he could ever like me? Even if that was the case, I knew I couldn’t stop liking him.
Mom said, “It’s only a few days and then he’ll be fine.”
I had almost forgotten that, of course, Susie would have speed-dialed Mom. For a moment there I thought I would need to tell her what happened with Tyler. Mom turned the car around and headed out the driveway.
She continued, “I wish Susie had called Dr. Shailor. I guess if Joe says it’s just a bruise, it’s just a bruise. A few days off and he’ll be back to work.”
I took out my phone and scrolled through my messages. Mom hated it when I did that while talking to her. She was always checking her phone, though, so it was a total double standard.
She raised her voice, like I was listening to something, not looking at something. “But from now on, Susie and I agreed, you’re not going to graze him or take him out for walks.”
“What?” I looked up from my phone.
“It’s just not safe.”
“It’s not safe to graze a pony?” Had Mom and Susie completely lost their minds?
“Just with Tyler. Take another pony to graze. Take Sammy.”
I actually liked grazing Tyler more than riding him. It seemed hard to believe that Susie was in on this one. This seemed like something only Mom would come up with. “Should we get him a padded stall, too?”
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