by Angela Drake
“Steph, talk to me, please,” Brendan’s voice barely a whisper as he moved his hand from her shoulder to the side of her face.
“Oh Brendan.” She couldn’t stop the agony in her voice. Having him so close, to touch her in such a tender way pierced her soul. “Why did it have to be your Jennifer? I don’t want you here. Don’t you realize how much it took to get you out of my life and my heart?”
“Am I really out of your heart, Steph?”
The landline phone she kept strictly for business, rang in the office and she seized the opportunity. Turning, she hurried back down the stairs, not noticing whether or not he followed. Jennifer met her in the hall.
“I took a message and left it on the blotter for you, Steph. I need to get back to the hotel.”
“Do you want a ride up there?” Brendan offered.
Stephanie watched him retrieve his keys from a pocket of the molded jeans. How was there room for his hand, let alone anything else the compartment might hold?
“I have my car. Bye Steph. I promise to have the guest list to you before the first of the week.” Jennifer hugged her tight then turned to Brendan. “We’ll see you for dinner tonight. Eight o’clock okay? David will work right up to dusk.”
“That’s fine.” Brendan held the door to allow his daughter to leave before turning back to Stephanie.
“It was nice to see you, angel.”
And Brendan Keane was gone, again. But this time, she knew he would be back. And he would want answers. She prayed he would be able to accept the only ones she could give.
She went back into the office to collect the dishes. There wasn’t time to think about him right now. She had a business to run. Days were short enough in which to accomplish her tasks without adding Brendan, and the past, to her list.
* * *
Brendan watched his daughter play with her straw, stirring it around in the soda glass. As they sat in the Rib Shack waiting for David, she began the grilling he had anticipated. After witnessing the scene at the hotel last night Jennifer wanted answers.
“Okay, Dad, out with it. How do you know Stephanie?”
He studied his daughter. He had not spent near enough time with her over the years, particularly since Debbie’s illness and death. The concert tours, recording sessions, movie deals all kept him busy. They were more of an excuse and he knew it. Having not been allowed to spend time with Jennifer as she grew up made it easy for Brendan to convince himself she didn’t need him as an adult either.
Jennifer the little girl had blossomed into a beautiful, young woman. Debbie did a great job in raising her. Thanks to Stephanie, he had even managed to be a minuscule part of her life for a while.
It was Stephanie who called Debbie and got the go ahead for the puppy when Jennifer was ten. She was the one to insist he go shopping so his parents could take presents by for birthdays. And now in a strange twist of fate, it was Jennifer bringing her back into his life. He strongly believed everything happened for a reason.
“Dad, hello.” She waved a hand in front of his face. “I want details.”
He sighed, took a long drink of his iced tea then looked across the table at his daughter. Though twenty-five, she still reminded him of the little girl in ponytails.
“It was a long time ago, Jennifer.”
“A lot of things were a long time ago. So what happened? Did Stephanie have something to do with you and Mom not getting together? Is she the reason you weren’t around much when I was growing up?”
“Don’t blame her, Jennifer!” He scrubbed his face with his hands. He hadn’t meant to speak so sharply. Thankfully their booth was in the corner, providing privacy for what had the makings of a very spicy dinner.
“I’m sorry. I’m just… “
“Just what, Dad?”
“Stephanie would have walked away from us a lot sooner than she did if it meant I had a chance to raise you. She loved kids and tried everything to see what I was missing in your life.” Brendan leaned against the back of the booth, fiddling with his spoon before continuing.
“No, she came along after all the stuff between your mother and me. You were about nine when I met her. She is eight years younger than I am, being only seventeen when we met. I wanted her the first moment our eyes met across that restaurant. I was drunk, she was young; it was perfect.” He tossed the spoon onto the table in frustration.
Jennifer motioned for the waitress to refill their drinks. “So what happened?”
“We had a thing for about three years. Nothing steady, just if I was around or she needed a place to get away from her father. Remember, those were my drunken days. I treated her like garbage. She loved me but I didn’t have my priorities in order. I didn’t have room for anyone or anything that didn’t come in a can. She was always there when I needed her though.”
He paused, spooning sugar into his tea. “I remember when your Uncle Steve got killed in a boating accident. She wouldn’t let me drink. I don’t know how, but she kept me sober and got me through the funeral. Your Grandpa thought she was a peach.”
“So who broke it off?”
“Stephanie. She wanted a home and kids. I just wasn’t ready to give her that, no matter how I felt about her.” He picked up his spoon and began stirring his tea again, watching the whirlpool it created in the clear plastic glass, pulling the ice cubes to the bottom. Just like the booze had done to his life all those years ago.
“It happened a couple days after her birthday. I had gotten drunk and forgot to pick her up or even call.”
Jennifer’s phone buzzed.
“It’s David. I’m going to step outside and call him. I’ll be right back.” She slid out of the booth and started to walk towards the door. She stopped and turned to look at him. “We’re not through with this conversation.”
Brendan took a drink of his tea and looked out the window at the Strip. The tourist traffic knotted like the emotions inside him as he thought back to that day. Funny how some things had left his mind, yet one look at that heart-shaped face and he remembered a conversation like it was this morning. God, he had been so stupid!
Over pizza, she told him about meeting Matthew. They had been seeing quite a bit of one another.
“Brendan, I love you and a part of me probably always will but I want more. Matthew has asked me to marry him.”
“Are you sure?” Brendan asked, already taking a last swallow of his beer and heading for the door.
“Sometimes I think yes and other times no, but I’m tired of waiting for you to get it together and decide where we belong. I’m sorry Brendan, but I can’t wait anymore.”
Those were the last words he remembered them speaking. Now she was planning his daughter’s wedding. So lost in the memory, he was startled by the sound of Jennifer’s voice as she sat back in the booth.
“The inspector is due early in the morning and they have some things to finish up. He asked if we’d just make sure he had leftovers.”
The waitress chose that moment to place a large platter of baby back ribs layered with gooey barbecue sauce.
“I think there will be if this platter of ribs is any indication.”
Brendan filled his plate with meat as well as potato salad from a large bowl before asking his question.
“So tell me, how long has Stephanie been down here?”
“Nearly three years. They moved down right after Max was born. He’ll turn three Thanksgiving.”
“What does Matthew do? Is he on the police department?”
Brendan froze as the rib bone Jennifer had been eating from fell to her plate, her eyes widening in astonishment. “You don’t know.”
“Know what?”
“Matthew was shot while on patrol just over two years ago, leaving her to bring Max into this world on her own and raise both he and his sister without a father.”
He paused with his fork in midair, letting his brain register what she had told him. Matthew was dead. Brendan asked the only question that raced thro
ugh his mind.
“Has she remarried?”
“Dad!” She wiped her hands on a napkin then took a drink of soda. “No. From what Steph has told me she and Matthew really had something special. And those two kids are proof. Max is the most adorable little boy. It’s a shame Matthew never got to see him.
“What about her daughter, Kimberly isn’t it?”
“Kimberly is warm and compassionate like her mother. I’m sure she’s had to grow up a lot in the last couple of years. She’s a big help with Max while Stephanie runs the business.”
“I haven’t met her yet. How old is she?” By now Brendan had lost his appetite. He pushed his plate back and motioned for the waitress to box the rest.
“Kimberly turned twelve in June.”
So that was why she married Matthew. He had gotten her pregnant and she needed a father she could depend on for her child. Brendan took a drink of tea, realizing he just needed some air. He took out his wallet and removed a credit card.
“Do you mind if we don’t take in a movie? I’m really beat.”
“Not at all. You’ve hardly had time to catch your breath since getting in yesterday.”
Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to her father. “Will you go over this guest list and either get it back to me or drop it by Steph’s in the next day or two?” She picked up her belongings and the takeout box.
“Sure.” Anything that would give him a valid reason to see her again.
Out in the parking lot, they stopped beside Jennifer’s car. He waited while she unlocked the door and got in before saying anything further.
“Jennifer?”
“Yeah, Dad?”
“Stephanie is a good person. Don’t judge her on things that happened between the two of us. You’ve made a good friend in her. Hang on to that and plan the biggest wedding Eureka Springs has ever seen. If there is anything for Stephanie and I to resolve, it’s between us, okay?”
Brendan forced a smile he didn’t feel as his thoughts zoomed like race cars on a track. His mind refused to put order to the questions. He hadn’t planned on Stephanie being a widow. His plan when he saw her was always to apologize for being a jerk and hope she accepted. Now his mind conjured up a different scenario.
“I still have questions, I’m just not sure what they are yet. Steph and I have been good friends and we work together. There’s a lot I don’t know about her apparently. You do what you have to Dad. I’m here if you need to talk.”
“How’d you get so smart?” He tapped her nose and grinned. “Watch the curves going home.”
She waved before putting the red Neon into gear and pulling out into a break in the Branson traffic.
Brendan walked towards his car then thought better of it. He was not ready to go back to the hotel. In fact, he would probably end up on the front step of Stephanie’s gingerbread-trimmed Victorian pounding on the door if he went back now. And he did not want to do that. At least not until he was ready to face whatever answers Stephanie might give him.
At this point, he was not even sure what all the questions were. He did know that she still had to be the most beautiful woman he had ever met, and there had been a lot of them. But none had touched his soul like Stephanie—his angel.
He had messed things up once. If there was to be a second chance, Brendan knew he had to know all the questions and have the answers before making any decisions. He’d gotten sober one step at a time. He would win Stephanie’s love the same way.
The first step was to relax and clear his head. Music would do that. Without further thought, he walked up the street to one of the clubs. A good round on the drums ought to help. He had gotten his break playing in the clubs here. And there was a standing invitation throughout the strip to drop by any time. Tonight, he would take one of them up on it.
Chapter 3
Brendan wandered aimlessly around Stephanie’s office, his handcrafted boots making little sound on the tile floor. Fingering various items displayed throughout the room, he looked for anything that might fill in the years.
The last time he’d seen Stephanie had been on her wedding day. He’d slipped into the church just after the ceremony began and left before the kiss. Watching another man taste the sweetness would have been too much, even for his booze-numbed soul. Though he’d been sober for a few months at that point, he didn’t remember a lot of things until someone flipped a memory switch. The day she’d married Matthew, Brendan had sworn to stay out of her life and he had - until now.
Last night in Branson, J.C. took one look at Brendan’s face and knew what brought his friend to the club. Having been one of the first club owners in the area to hire him all those years ago, there wasn’t much about him the entertainer didn’t know. That included his feelings for Stephanie.
Before the final show began J.C. had handed him the sticks and let him slip behind the drums unbeknownst to the crowded auditorium. For two hours, he hadn’t been Brendan Keane, superstar. Being just the drummer in the backlit stage he’d felt more himself than he had in a long time.
During the drive back to Eureka Springs in the pre-dawn hours, he’d been able to think more clearly. Stephanie was still the love of his life. Matthew was gone. She had the two kids to think about and he was well into recovery. It was time to move ahead - for all of them.
Now he stood glancing through a collection of photos on a Queen Anne pedestal table. Some of the faces he recognized. An ornate white frame stood off-center amongst the group. Stephanie in her wedding gown beamed from the picture. Matthew in a black tux with a deep blue cummerbund stood next to her. The photographer had created an ethereal background, adding to their magical day. Brendan couldn’t bring himself to touch the frame. Being at the wedding, watching them had been hard. He saw their happiness more clearly now and he ached for the pain she must carry with her.
An oak frame stood next to their wedding photo. With hesitant fingers, Brendan reached for the frame. The perfect family smiled back at him. Matthew, out of uniform, knelt in the grass with an arm draped around Stephanie and Kimberly on either side of him. This is what she had wanted; the life he’d been unable to give her.
Gently he replaced the photo, feeling as if he’d intruded, and looked around the room radiating with her touch. A love for the bygone era was prominent throughout the room. The mix of printed fabrics and colors reflected Stephanie - soft, warm and welcoming. The deep Mahogany Victorian furnishings portrayed her sensibility and strength. All the things he loved about her.
“OMG!”
Brendan turned towards the doorway to meet the stare from eyes the size and color of chocolate drops. He smiled in amusement and ventured to speak. “Hi there, you must be Kimberly.” He walked towards her, stopped and watched the blush creep over her young face.
“I…um, yeah that’s me.”
Brendan grinned at the nervous young lady before him. She resembled Stephanie only slightly. Where Steph’s hair was warm autumn gold, Kimberly’s was much darker and her skin a natural tan in contrast to her mother’s fairness. Her petite size and heart-shaped face is where the likeness began and ended. He watched as she twirled a finger in her shoulder-length hair, just like his own daughter did when she was nervous.
“Mom’s upstairs tending to Max. Would you like me to get her?”
“No that’s fine. I’ll wait if that’s okay?”
“Sure. May I get you some ice tea or something?” She was already backing slowly to the doorway, never taking her eyes from him.
“I’d love a glass, thanks.” He wouldn’t laugh but he couldn’t resist flashing his best smile as she twirled her hair tighter.
“I’ll be right back.” Kimberly turned and fled the room, just missing the doorframe in her hasty retreat.
The teenager had barely left when he poked his head out into the hall to wiggle his fingers in a wave. Drawing on experience with fans, he knew she would stop just out of sight to collect herself. She answered his wav
e then walked quickly to the kitchen.
Brendan’s laughter reverberated through the hall, shaking Stephanie all the way to her toes. She’d witnessed his teasing wave from her spot on the upper landing. So much like the man she remembered. He’d always been a tease and a flirt but she’d also known a quiet side most people had never seen. Brendan really would have been great with kids if only he’d made the right choices sooner.
Slowly, she made her way down the stairs to her office. Brendan stood, thumbs hooked in the back pockets of his jeans, looking out the window. He turned at the sound of her heeled shoes as she entered the room.
“Hello, Steph.”
“What brings you by? I thought you were finalizing plans on the recording studio.”
Stephanie sat down at her desk and began shuffling papers. There wasn’t anything in particular she needed, but she couldn’t look at him without falling under his devilish spell. The attraction to him had been too much for her to resist until Matthew became her shield. Now he was gone and she had only her own defenses to rely on.
“I won’t actually get into the studio before the end of the week. Besides, it’s Sunday. Don’t you ever take a day off?”
There was that smile. The one that had captured her heart across the pool table a lifetime ago. She would not fall for his wiles again. There was too much at stake.
“I have a business to run and a family to raise. I have to make full use of my quiet time,” she said pointedly.
“Well, I just needed to drop this off.” He tossed what she recognized as the guest list onto the desk.
“Thank you. I’ll get it over to the calligrapher in the morning.”
“Why didn’t you tell me, Steph?” His voice was almost inaudible.
“Tell… tell you what?” She fumbled with items on her desk, refusing to look up. How did he know? Was it that obvious?
“About Matthew.” He strode around to her side of the desk and braced his hip against the edge.
The faded jeans pulled tighter against his muscled thigh. A fleeting memory of those taunt legs entangled with hers amidst satin sheets assisted in making breathing difficult.
