by Sarah Silver
Jessica and her boyfriend began kissing; Lola could hear them rolling around on the bed. She’d never been in the same room as two people making love. She wasn’t sure what to do about it. It was impossible to close her eyes and fall asleep. She felt like there was a rosebud in the middle of her stomach that began to slowly furl and unfurl itself. Lola felt had felt this feeling before. What was this feeling called again? Oh yeah, she said in her head. Lust.
Lola must have fallen asleep, for when she opened her eyes it was daylight. She had been asleep for almost fifteen hours, exhausted from all her studying. She rolled over rand grabbed her alarm clock. The red numbers read 7:15am.
She looked over at her roommate’s bed. Jessica and Eric were half-naked and draped over each other like human quilts. Lola rolled her eyes. She rolled out of bed and proceeded to dress as quietly as possible.
She could already tell it was going to be a hot day. Outside, the sun was scorching through the blinds, probably hot enough to light the campus on fire. Lola grabbed a pair of soft black shorts and a white tank top. She liked the way the shorts hugged her butt.
Grabbing her cell phone and ID, Lola headed towards breakfast. The campus, normally quiet at this hour, was bursting with students. They were running around nervously, some clutching their textbooks, others furiously scanning pieces of paper. What did she expect? It was finals week.
Lola was busy as well. With Eric in the bedroom, she felt awkward going back there to pack up her things. Maybe he would be gone after breakfast. One could only hope.
It wasn’t that Lola disliked Eric, but she’d always been awkward around boys. She’d only had two kisses in her entire life, and both were during truth or dare.
The first happened when she was thirteen; she was playing spin the bottle in her friend’s basement. Her friend’s parents were upstairs watching a movie. They had no idea what the kids were doing downstairs.
When it was Lola’s turn to spin the bottle, she did so with shaky hands. It landed on a boy nicknamed Bones. His hair was shaggy and brown, and he smiled a crooked smile. Lola remembered kissing him for what felt like an eternity but in reality it was only a few seconds. The other kids had clapped.
Her second kiss was in high school, with her quasi-boyfriend. His name was John, and they often held hands and walked each other to class. Lola barely counted this kiss. John had bent down and clumsily pecked her, half on her mouth and half off.
When she lost her virginity freshman year of college, it was just as awkward as her high school kisses. She’d had a few drinks at a frat party, and decided to sleep with one of the nerdy Bio-Chem kids. She didn’t remember his name, and he left before she woke up the next morning. Occasionally they’d walk past each other on campus, but
Lola always averted her eyes.
Sometimes when she was alone she would outline her body with her hands, wondering what it would feel like to have another man touch her intimately. She just loved the feel of having her body touched, and just thinking about being touched by a handsome man made her wet.
Lola was so lost in thought she didn’t realize she was about to walk into her professor until it was too late. Professor Anderson yelped in surprise as her papers went up in the air.
Professor Anderson - Professor Amy Anderson, was gorgeous. She was tall and slender with shoulder length blond hair. She could have been a model if it wasn't for her huge DD boobs.
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” Lola gushed.
“It’s fine, it wasn’t like I was in a hurry or anything,” Professor Anderson muttered.
She had always been passive aggressive towards Lola for one reason or another. Was Anderson bi? Was there a love interest? Or was it because Lola’s head was in the clouds. As Lola helped gather up the papers she realized they were exams from a few days ago. Lola ignored the red marking and circled grades. She thought she saw her name but Professor Anderson snatched it before she could get a proper look.
“Um,” Lola said. “How’s the grading going?”
“It’s been a long day to say the least,” Professor Anderson replied.
She gave Lola a warm smile before continuing on her way to her office.
“Okay then,” Lola said to herself.
She tugged her shorts out of her crotch and continued on to breakfast. One of the annoying things about wearing shorts was that they were always riding up in strange places. Lola didn’t mind too much, as long as it meant her legs would get to be cool during the especially warm days.
To Lola’s surprise, the cafeteria was mostly empty. She took a tray and began to load it with fruit and cereal. She didn’t notice Jason approaching her until it was too late.
“Hi,” he said.
“Oh, hi,” she shuddered. It was going to be a long day.
Chapter 3
Jason had asked Lola if she wanted to have lunch with him. She’d managed to say yes, though her heart felt like it was going to leap out of her mouth. She told herself to be cool, reminding herself that Jason was just another guy at the school she went to. Yes, he was gorgeous, and had the greenest eyes she’d ever seen. But what did that matter? She could surely have lunch with him without completely losing herself. Right?
He chose a table in the far side of the cafeteria, close to the window. Thick grey clouds covered the sky, signaling that rain was yet to come. Lola loved thunder and lightning. When she was younger, she enjoyed sitting at the sliding glass doors that led to her backyard, marveling as the fat droplets sank into every surface.
Jason asked Lola questions about her major and what she wanted to do after she was done with school. It was surprisingly easy to talk to Jason. He always looked engaged when he spoke with her, and she found she didn’t feel as nervous when they first started talking.
“I want to continue on to grad school, but only if I can get scholarship,” he said.
“Of course you’ll get scholarship. Aren’t you like a genius or something?”
As soon as she spoke she’d regretted it. Thankfully, Jason laughed at her. She smiled and blushed slightly. She noticed that he looked at her for a few seconds longer than normal, but thought nothing of it.
He was probably like that with all the girls on campus. She was sure he’d slept with dozens of them, including some of the girls in her class.
Lola became fixated with the way his bangs fell into his eyes. His hair looked soft. She longed to reach a hand out and sweep the bangs out from his eyes. On several occasions she felt her hand wavering, so she sat on it. Jason didn’t seem to notice. He continued talking about his plans for the future verses what his parents had planned for him.
He told Lola he’d just gotten out of a serious relationship a few weeks ago and didn’t want to make any commitments anytime soon. She smiled at this and pretended she understood.
“Dating can be tough,” she said. “It must be frustrating to put all your trust in somebody only to have things fall apart. Doesn’t it make you feel so vulnerable?”
She spooned soup into her mouth as she waited for him to respond.
“To be honest I don’t feel all that vulnerable. I’ve actually missed being alone. I forgot what it was like to get the whole bed to myself. It was a long distance relationship anyway, and I knew it wasn’t going to work out. When I found out she was sleeping with someone else, I honestly wasn’t all that surprised.”
Lola nodded. She’d never been cheated on by anyone, but then again she’d never actually been with anyone, save for a few awkward encounters when she was younger.
“So what about you? Is there a lucky leading man in your life?”
Lola laughed. God, she was such a dork.
“No, of course not. I mean, not that I haven’t- I just, I don’t know. I don’t really have time for dating with all the studying I have to do.”
Jason nodded and took a bite out of his sandwich. He chewed thoughtfully for a few seconds before responding.
“I hear that. I’ve had so many exams this week I can
hardly stand anymore, let alone eat. I feel like Bio-Chem has ravaged my body.”
Lola giggled. “Same. Except for me, it’s Marine Biology. If I have to hear one more lecture on the anatomy of a clownfish, I’m going to kick myself.” Jason smiled at her before polishing off his sandwich. Lola liked how easy it was to make him smile. She realized suddenly that they’d never had a conversation before today. Sure they’d said hi occasionally on the quad, but it was a fairly small college. Everyone said hi to everyone else, it was practically the rules.
Jason surprised her by inviting her to a party on campus.
“I promise it’s going to be fun. And I bet your roommate’s going!”
“Ugh, of course she is. Practically all Jessica does is party.”
That and screw around with her boyfriend while I’m trying to sleep, Lola thought to herself. She wouldn’t mind going to a party with Jason. In all her years on the campus, she’d mostly stuck to herself and the small group of friends she’d made. She enjoyed going for night swims, going to bed covered in salt only to wake up smelling like the sea. It was her favorite perfume.
Jason exchanged phone numbers with Lola before leaving.
“I’m counting on you to come later,” he said with a smile.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” she replied.
She wanted Jason to leave faster so she could freak out internally. After he left, she downed the rest of her soup before rushing out of the cafeteria, desperately seeking the solace of her bedroom.
Jessica wasn’t there when she got back. Lola took it as an opportunity to jump around her room while squealing. She knew it was childish, but the hottest boy on campus just asked her to go to a party with him. Was there a downside in all this?
It didn’t cross her mind until later that she would be spending several weeks with him on a boat, then on an island studying the indigenous fish of the coast. If anything did go wrong between them, she wouldn’t have any way of escaping.
Lola pushed these thoughts aside. It was a fairly big island; she could probably avoid him easily if she wanted to. And she wasn’t sure if she’d need to avoid him. Jason seemed so friendly and nice in the cafeteria earlier- things would probably continue along that vein later in the evening.
Part of her wanted to call Jessica and tell her all about it, though she knew Jessica was a hapless gossip. In less than an hour the whole campus would probably find out what happened, and Lola didn’t want that. Things like this were best kept secret.
Just thinking of Jason made her tingle with desire. Lola lay on her bed and unconsciously touched her wetness between her legs. Before she knew it, she was rubbing herself. It felt so good she couldn't stop. After only a couple of minutes, she felt a rush of pleasure that made her back arch and her toes curl. She moaned loudly as she climaxed alone in her bed.
The party was in Palm Grove, a dorm on the opposite side of campus. It was party central. Jason said the party didn't start until until 12am, so she had lots of time before she had to go.
It was only 9 p.m. and after compulsively checking her watch it dawned on her- she had time to go for a swim . The sun was still out, though it was fading quickly. She’d take a swim in the ocean over sitting alone in her room any day.
She threw on her bathing suit and a pair of shorts and began her walk to the beach.Though it was humid out, there was a slight breeze that cooled Lola off. She was thankful no one else would be on the beach. Her bathing suit was tight, showing off a bit too much cleavage, anda lot too much of her butt. On more than one occasion she had to adjust both her top and bottom - just another perk of having such a curvy body, she figured.
She could hear the ocean from yards away. The waves crashed loudly into the shore, and the echoes signaled high tide. She ran the remaining stretch to the beach, ignoring the fact that her bathing suit was riding up her crotch. It was so tight that it turned her on slightly. She tried not to think of it as she dropped her clothes on the sand and ran straight into the waves.
Lola enjoyed the coolness of the water, and the freedom it gave her. Since no-one was around, she quickly removed her bathing suit and threw it to shore. There was nothing quite so liberating as skinny dipping. Before she realized it, the sun was down and dozens of stars lit the beach. The moon looked like someone had taken a bite out of it. Lola floated around on her back for a while, enjoyed the way the waves felt on her naked body. The water was fairly calm, and easy to swim in. Swimming on nights like this was perfection to Lola. She couldn't imagine a nicer way to start her evening with Jason.
After what felt like hours later, Lola swam back to the shore. She pulled her shorts over her dripping wet thighs, didn’t mind that her feet were coated in sand. She walked the stretch back to her dorm barefoot, purple flip-flops in hand. She checked her phone. It was fifteen past twelve, perfect timing to go to the party.
She figured Jason would be late as well. He was probably too cool to show up to a party on time.
Back at the dorm, Lola brushed the sand off her feet and left it in a neat pile in the hallway. She skipped the shower preferring to smell like the sea than anything else. She tossed on a fresh pair of shorts and a tank top before running out the door. It would take her at least ten minutes to get to the party. By then she would definitely be fashionably late, or rather right on time, for the party.
Chapter 4
On the walk over, she thought about what she would say to Jason. Would he be talking to other people? She wasn’t sure of whether or not he even liked her. Maybe he would be talking to another girl. Lola knew she wouldn’t have the right to be jealous, but that wouldn’t stop her.
The party was in full swing by the time she got there. Palm Springs had minimal security, so it was easy to invite dozens of people into the dorm. The main floor was decorated with metallic palm trees and macaw parrots. She thought it was tacky, since they lived on the island, and there were barely any parrots or palm trees. But it was also kind of fun to make fun of the life around them, reducing indigenous life to shiny pieces of paper.
She was admiring an enormous plastic sun taped to the wall when she felt a hand on her shoulder. A flower lei was placed over her head. She turned around to find herself facing Jessica.
“Hi!” she shouted.
Lola hadn’t realized how loud the music was until Jessica appeared and they tried talking.
“Hi back!” her roommate said. “What are you doing here? I’ve never seen you at a party before. I figured you’d be studying or something!”
“I figured I’d go out, you know, like one last hurrah before the big boat trip. Where’s Eric?”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “He’s flirting with some freshman over by the punch bowl. Talk later?”
“Sure,” Lola smiled.
She watched as Jessica walked down the hall, her hips swishing from side to side, and her long hair flowing down. Lola was reminded of her lunch with Jason, and how badly she’d wanted to sweep his hair out of his eyes. She hadn’t seen him yet, but the dorm was enormous. He could be anywhere.
Lola decided to look around some more. Jessica had gone down the hallway towards the dorm rooms, so Lola decided to go down the opposite hall. It fed out into a large gaming room, with a television and pool table. Several kids from her anatomy class were playing pool. They all smoked cigarettes, clouds of grey covering their faces.
Lola walked over to a table covered with food and drinks. She poured herself a rum and coke and quietly sipped it from the sidelines. She knew most of the kids here, but had only really come to be with Jason. Where was he?
She downed her drink quickly and poured another. This probably wasn’t the best idea, but she didn’t feel like eating any of the sandwiches. They all looked sweaty beneath the fluorescent lights, and she had no idea how old the food was. She settled for eating handfuls of carrots in between her drinks.
After her third glass, Lola began to feel slightly woozy. She went outside to get some fresh air, feeling instantly better when she smell
ed the salt air. “You made it!” A voice called from behind her.
It belonged to Jason, who was standing in between two girls in bikinis. They were each wearing rainbow leis and sipping from solo cups. Lola hadn’t seen them before - two skinny britches; they were probably freshmen. They regarded her coolly. Lola ignored them. She as used to people acting rude towards her for one reason or another, usually out of jealousy because of her figure.
Lola hid her jealousy as best she could, left the three of them and went outside. She thought some fresh air might help her to feel better. After a few minutes, to her surprise, Jason came up to her, sipping a cup of beer.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey back,” Jason said. “I didn’t think you were gonna make it.”
He sounded down, but Lola didn’t want to ask why. She figured he wouldn’t tell her, and she was feeling pretty woozy. Instead, she asked him something that for her was out of character.
“Do you want to go for a walk on the beach?” she asked.
“That sounds good.”
They began walking around the dorm building, avoiding the pineapple-scented drunks inside.
“So, what were you doing outside? Trying to get away from it all?” She waved her hands in the air for emphasis. “I guess I’m a little buzzed,” she said.
“No worries.” Jason ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess I was just trying to avoid the chaos inside. My ex girlfriend keeps trying to contact me and it gets harder and harder to avoid her messages. I can’t help but think about whom she’s seeing, and how things are going. That sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?”
“A little bit, but I understand where you’re coming from. It’s hard to deal with a breakup.”
Jason hip-checked Lola, making her smile.
“And you’re above that all, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Me? Don’t be ridiculous.”
