by Unknown
She sobered. If she could get Boone to give up the ranch and move away, he wouldn’t even know about the baby until there was time and distance between them and he had forgotten her and moved on.
With his business moving to Stallion Pass, though, he was going to find out. She just wanted to get him out of her life before then. She wouldn’t be able to get him out of her heart as easily, but if she broke it off with him he would be less likely to come charging in feeling obliged to marry her and give the baby a name.
If she stopped seeing him, he would move away and find someone else and soon forget her. The realization hurt, but Erin knew it was the only way to let Boone be the free spirit he wanted to be. She loved him too much to tie him down as a reluctant husband.
She put the key in the ignition and started the engine, but then paused and reached for her cell phone. One of the most important things she had to do was to break tonight’s date with Boone. She couldn’t talk to him until she had her thoughts organized.
First, she contacted her best friend in Stallion Pass, Tina Courtland, and asked her if she could come stay the night. To her relief, Tina was happy to invite her friend over.
Instead of driving home to the ranch, Erin went straight to the gated area where Tina lived, driving along winding, tree-lined streets to an elegant Georgian redbrick home. She let herself in with a hidden spare key and sat down in the kitchen to call Boone and break their date.
Sunlight streamed through the kitchen windows and Erin could hear the ticking of the tall clock in the hall while she listened to the ringing of Boone’s phone.
He was still out on the ranch, so it was a simple matter to leave a message for him. “Boone,” she said, trying to inject cheerfulness in her voice, “I had to go to town today and I talked to an old friend. I’m staying with her tonight to catch up on her latest news. I’ll be at Tina Courtland’s. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sorry to break our dinner date, but Tina and I haven’t seen each other for over a month. If you need to get in touch, I have my cell phone.”
Erin replaced the receiver, took her cell phone from her purse and switched it off.
After five, Erin heard her tall, brunette friend come in the back door. An attorney, Tina shared an office with ten other lawyers. Her hazel eyes were filled with curiosity when she saw Erin.
“Hi. I’m glad you’re here!” she said as she shed her suit jacket and kicked off her pumps. “I don’t have to work on a case or a brief or do any research. Let’s have a cold drink and you tell me what brings you to my house—you sounded out of sorts on the phone.”
“It’s a long story,” Erin said, watching Tina drop her purse and get out glasses. “Tea? Wine? Pop?”
“Just ice water, please. Thanks for putting me up.”
“Sure. Anytime, Erin. I’ve missed catching up with you for way too long now.” Tina studied Erin and then turned to get ice.
“I’ve been hearing all sorts of rumors about you and a Colonel Boone Devlin who inherited the Double T. Does this visit involve this colonel?” Tina demanded.
“Yes, it does. Let’s get those cold drinks because it’s a long story.”
Sitting in comfortable chintz-covered chairs, Erin told Tina about everything, including the doctor’s visit today.
“You’re pregnant! How wonderful!” Tina got up and hugged Erin. “So marry the guy. It seems pretty simple.”
“No, it’s not. He’s not into marrying at all, I told you that.”
Tina waved her hand and went back to her seat to sip a glass of white wine as she smiled at Erin. “He’ll change his mind.”
“I don’t want to trap him into marriage. He’ll feel duty-bound to ask me, but that isn’t what I want.”
“Don’t be so hasty,” Tina advised. “He sounds like a man who knows how to make up his own mind. You won’t be trapping him. That’s ridiculous. Do you love him?”
“Yes, I do,” Erin said quietly, hurting and knowing that Tina wasn’t getting the full picture, but then Tina had never heard Boone talk about his aversion to marriage and his feelings on the subject.
“You can stay here as long as you like, but you know you have to go home sometime.”
“I know. I just want to get a little space between us. He’s not the patient type. Maybe he’ll get tired of being put off.”
“He’s the father. You’ll have to tell him about the baby.”
“I know that. When he learns the truth, I’ll have a battle on my hands. I just need time.”
“Well, tell me more about this Boone Devlin. I never thought I’d see the day that you’d be all starry-eyed. He may surprise you about getting married, you know. Men have changed their stand on marriage before.”
“Not this man.” Erin went on to explain Boone’s background.
The two friends talked for hours until Tina yawned hugely and announced, “I have to call it a night and you should, too. You can stay as long as you’d like as far as I’m concerned, but think about what I said.”
“I’m going home tomorrow. I just wanted to get my thoughts straight before I see him again. Thanks, Tina.”
“Anytime. He sounds like a good guy. He may be just as in love as you are.”
“I know he’s not,” Erin said. “He couldn’t be in love with me.’
“I’m betting on a wedding.”
“Then you lose,” Erin said as her friend shook her head and headed out of the room. Erin went to the guest bedroom that she had stayed in many times before, looking at the familiar king-size bed covered in a red, white and green quilt.
Erin slept soundly, despite her worries. The next morning she drove home to the ranch. Boone’s car was in his garage and the pickup was gone, so she knew he was out on the ranch. It was just a matter of time.
He called half an hour after she arrived home, and they made a dinner date for the evening. She had to face him and break off relations and the sooner the better.
That evening she bathed and dressed in a red blouse and jeans, studying her figure. Her stomach was as flat as ever and she looked slender and unchanged from the way she had looked a month ago.
She brushed her hair and finally slipped on loafers and went downstairs to wait for Boone.
When he rang the doorbell, her hands were clammy and butterflies caused tremors to her insides. As she opened the door, her heart thudded. More tanned than ever from his days at the ranch, Boone looked full of energy, sexy and as handsome as ever. She glimpsed his gray shirt and jeans before he swept her up in his arms and kissed her.
Inhaling his aftershave, relishing the strength of his arms around her, she closed her eyes. All the time she kissed him in return, she wondered if it might be the last kiss between them. She ran her hands along his muscled arms, up across his strong shoulders. With reluctance, she pushed away.
He frowned. “I’ve missed you,” he said, studying her intently and leaning down to kiss her again.
She slipped away out of his arms. “Come in. We need to talk.”
She could hear him behind her as she walked to the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?”
“Sure. I’ll have a beer.” He pulled out a chair and watched her move around the room. She fixed a glass of ice water for herself and a beer for him and then sat down facing him.
“This looks serious,” he said, his eyes narrowing. She gazed at the thick fringe of black lashes that made his eyes so sexy. If only—She stopped her thoughts right there.
“It is serious,” she said. “I’ve had time to think and I don’t like where our relationship is going. I want marriage, Boone, or I want out,” she said, her heart thudding because she guessed this would be the one ultimatum that would send him on his way.
He stared at her and tilted his head, taking a long drink of beer but watching her all the time. She made an effort to gaze steadfastly back at him and not fidget.
“That’s a change of heart on your part because you told me before that you didn’t have to have marriage,” he said finally.
<
br /> “I’ve thought it over and I do,” she said, beginning to feel more fluttery because she wasn’t getting the reaction she expected so far. Yet she guessed the whole conversation was going to end within another few minutes.
“I’ve told you from the first my feelings about marriage,” he said quietly.
She nodded. “I know you have and I know what I want, so if we can’t agree, then we need to break things off.”
“That’s what you really want?” he asked, reaching across the table to caress her cheek.
Her heart pounded, and she wanted to cry out that no, that wasn’t what she wanted at all. She wanted him with all her heart, but she did want marriage. She wasn’t that far from the truth about the relationship. But she wanted marriage with a man who loved her. Who would stay with her. She didn’t want to tell him goodbye, but there was no choice.
“That’s what I want,” she said firmly.
He continued to stare at her and she stared back, feeling the tension between them increase. Finally he stood up. “I suppose there’s only one thing for me to do then and that’s get out of your life.”
Nodding, she stood. “If you can’t commit to marriage, then that’s the way it has to be,” she said, certain of his reaction now.
“I’ll think about it, Erin, but I just can’t see settling down again to what I did for most of my life. I still want a break from it. Maybe ten years from now I’ll change my mind, but not yet.”
“While I, on the other hand, want a husband.”
He inhaled deeply, frowning slightly. “It was wonderful, darlin’.”
“It was. But I’d say that we’re through,” she said, her heart a drumroll while she tried to ignore the hurt that increased each second.
“If that’s what you want, then I suppose so. I need you, want to be with you, but marriage—I’m not ready.”
“I didn’t think you were.”
They walked to the front door. “I’m just trying to face the future, Boone.”
He ran his finger along her cheek lightly and then caressed her throat. “You’re special, darlin’. I’ll think about it.” He brushed a kiss on her cheek and then he was gone. She closed the door and leaned against it and let tears spill down her cheeks. He was gone and that was the only way, the only answer. She didn’t want him to feel trapped or to offer to marry her out of guilt. And he would when he found out about the pregnancy, but by that time they would each have other lives.
She brushed away the tears, squared her shoulders and began to plan for a future without him. She needed a nursery and she also realized there was the possibility of just packing and going away for the last few months. Women had done that for aeons and then returned with a baby. She could afford to go away, and she had close friends scattered across Texas and other states and two close friends in London where she could stay.
She sat down on the foot of the stairs and put her head in her hands to give vent to tears again. She loved Boone and she already missed him and she wanted him in her life.
She had guessed his reaction correctly though, because he hadn’t argued or offered other suggestions or even tried to talk her into staying together. He had made his feelings clear. She wondered if she would ever stop missing him. If her heart would ever stop hurting.
Through the warm summer night Boone walked in stony silence back to his mansion. He hurt more than he had ever guessed it was possible to hurt. He was angry with Erin, feeling as if she had done an about-face, changing abruptly on the subject of marriage from what she had told him before. The past two days he had missed her incredibly and had been counting the minutes until they could be together again. And then to get an ultimatum to marry or get out—he was still in shock.
It wasn’t even eight o’clock yet. Without noticing what he was doing, he went through his gate, let himself into the house and tossed the key onto a table. Then he walked out onto the patio.
Her ultimatum was unlike her. She hadn’t looked happy, either, but the woman knew what she wanted. He was hurt and he didn’t like what had happened—hadn’t they had a good thing between them? He kicked a rock with the toe of his new western boots that he had bought to impress Erin. Show her he could fit in on this ranch. This confrontation had come out of the blue. And he was astonished how much he had been looking forward to being with her tonight. He had thought she would feel the same.
“Serves you right,” he said to himself, thinking of women who had shed tears over him when they had parted and how blithely he had kissed them goodbye and figured they would recover soon.
He wondered whether he would ever recover. The notion shook him. Of course he would. He could always come back and offer to marry her. If he didn’t wait too long and some local guy caught her fancy.
Marriage—he remembered diapers and runny noses and bills and lost sleep and fights. It wouldn’t have to be like that now because the bills could be paid easily and nannies could be hired. But he didn’t want to be rooted to this ranch the rest of his life, tied here just as Erin was and wanted to be.
No, no marriage for him. He was going to miss her. Hell, maybe he even loved her some, but they hadn’t known each other long and soon she should fade from his memory.
He swore softly and kicked another rock. Unhappiness and anger filled him and he was tempted to go right back and try to argue her out of this decision, but he knew that was useless. He remembered that night in the parking lot.
When Erin made up her mind, it was set. It had been grand and she was sexy and wonderful, but he would have to get along without her. Boone sighed. No matter how he argued with himself he was in for another sleepless night. He turned to look at the mansion he had inherited and knew he didn’t want to spend another night in it alone.
He didn’t even want to stay on the ranch tonight. All he could think about was Erin. Disappointment filled him. Was this the reason she had stayed in town last night? How long had she been thinking these things over? He wished she had discussed her feelings more with him, yet he knew there really wasn’t anything to discuss. She wanted marriage and he didn’t. End of discussion.
He went back into the house, gathered his things and left, locking up and getting one of the men to drive him to the airport so he could fly home to Kansas. Maybe he could get his mind off Erin.
The next day Erin learned from talking to Perry that Boone was no longer on the ranch and she wondered if he had gone for good. She would not have been surprised.
She began to plan in earnest for a nursery and to consider what she would do the last months of her pregnancy.
It was Monday of the next week as she wrote a business letter when she heard the doorbell ring.
Curious who would be at the door, Erin hurried to answer it, opening the door to find Boone standing on her porch. She stared at him in surprise, trying to ignore the leap in her heartbeat.
“May I come in?” he asked.
Trying to ignore her racing pulse, she stepped back. “Of course.”
“I’d like to talk to you.”
“Sure, Boone. Come in,” she said, stepping back to let him enter. She caught a whiff of his aftershave that stirred memories that she couldn’t afford to think about now.
“Are you eating breakfast?” he asked as his boot heels scraped the polished floor.
“No, I wasn’t,” she answered quickly.
Boone’s gaze traveled over her and she was tempted to smooth her hair. Suddenly she was aware of her T-shirt and cutoffs, the butterfly clip in her hair that let tendrils escape and curl around her face.
Feeling self-conscious with him following her, she led him into the family room and motioned for him to sit down. “Would you like coffee?” she asked.
“Sure,” he said. As soon as she headed toward the kitchen, he stood and followed.
Erin heard him coming behind her and she tried to ignore him as she moved around the kitchen, getting out the coffeepot and filling it with water. Her stomach was queasy this morning and now she
wished she hadn’t offered Boone coffee because sometimes the slightest smells sent her over the edge.
Grimly, she worked until he took the pot out of her hands. When his fingers brushed hers so lightly, her heart missed beats and her breath caught.
“Go sit down. I can do this,” he said.
She stared at him, and wondered what had caused him to take the coffeepot from her hands. He had never tried to keep her from doing anything before.
“Uncle Perry said that you’d left the ranch,” she said.
“Yep. I flew back to Kansas City.”
In minutes she sat across from him at the table while the brewing coffee filled the room with an aroma that made her stomach roll, and she began to find it difficult to concentrate on Boone or anything he was saying to her.
“I’ve hired a new pilot and I needed to stay and work with him,” he said.
Tight-lipped, she nodded.
While he rambled on about his plans for his business, Boone studied her, sensing come kind of undercurrent that he couldn’t identify and feeling something was awry.
Had she missed him as badly as he had missed her? When she had opened the door, she had looked fantastic, but now he was beginning to wonder if she was coming down with something or furious with him or hurt beyond measure. She was pale, which she hadn’t been only a few minutes ago. Her fingers were locked together and her knuckles were white and her lips had firmed. The more he looked at her the more he decided that she must be enraged at him or devastated by the breakup.
“Erin, I’ve missed you,” he said flatly, hurting and wanting to take her into his arms and bring back the sparkle in her eyes and her laughter.
She merely nodded and clamped her lips together more firmly.
“I like the ranch,” he said, “but the house is big and empty and I need to get a little distance and rethink things.”
She merely nodded, and his feeling that something was wrong grew.
“You don’t have anything to say about it?” he asked.
She shook her head and grew a little pale.
“Do you feel well?” he asked, trying to guess what was wrong.
