Where I Need To Be

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Where I Need To Be Page 19

by Jamie Hollins


  “Yes, I’m good. I’m sorry, are you in the middle of something?”

  Taking a deep breath, he resumed walking to his car. The weight of the grocery bags was turning his fingers numb.

  “I’m just getting out of the grocery store. I’m about to drive home.”

  “Okay.” She paused. “Um…do you think we can get together tonight?”

  Fuck yeah. It’d been two weeks since he’d seen her. Since their booty call.

  “Sure. What time should I come over?”

  Silence crackled over the line. “Actually, I was hoping we could grab some coffee and talk.”

  He lifted the trunk lid and paused. When someone said they just wanted to talk, it usually wasn’t a good thing.

  “Okay,” he replied slowly. “Where should I meet you?”

  “How about Melba’s Diner?”

  “I can be there in a half hour.”

  “Great, see you then.”

  He said good-bye and disconnected the line, an uneasy feeling settling in his gut. After rushing home, he unloaded the groceries and then made sure his dad was okay with watching Cade for a bit while he ran back out.

  Exactly thirty minutes later, he spotted Megan waiting in the same booth they’d sat at the last time they ate there. She gave him a quick wave as he started toward her. Sliding out of the booth, she stood when he reached the table.

  “Hi,” she said with a warm yet timid smile.

  She surprised him by going up on her toes and kissing him on the cheek. Her lips were warm against his cold skin, and the smell of vanilla swirled around her like dancing sugar cookies.

  “Hey,” he replied as she stepped back.

  He’d never seen her dressed so casually. Instead of her teacher’s uniform, she wore a gray woolen turtleneck, a pair of jeans, and white canvas shoes. Her hair was pulled up in a high bun, and she didn’t have a hint of makeup on.

  She looked absolutely radiant. The prettiest he’d ever seen her.

  Realizing he was staring, he shrugged out of his coat and tossed it into the booth. James settled in his seat as their waitress stopped by with two mugs of coffee. After she left, Megan cleared her throat nervously.

  “How was your Christmas?”

  “Nice.” He shrugged. “How was your trip to Boston?”

  Her smile lit up her eyes. “It was really good. I can actually say I had a lovely time.”

  “You say that like it surprises you.”

  She laughed. “That’s because it does.”

  “When did you get back?”

  “I was supposed to get back Tuesday night, but my flight was cancelled by that crazy weather that hit the East Coast. I finally got home Thursday morning.”

  When he’d watched the news the day after Christmas, he’d seen the nor’easter that pummeled New England. He’d immediately thought of Megan. He’d known she was in Boston but had no idea what her travel plans were.

  She was watching him, her hands wrapped around her coffee mug. Her pale blue eyes roamed his face, like she was trying to memorize every arch and hollow.

  The awkward silence extended, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He’d planned on letting her do the talking since she’d been the one to invite him here, but the lack of conversation made him fidgety.

  “I was surprised you called me,” he finally said.

  “Yeah,” she started, shaking her head. “I wanted to talk to you. During my trip home, I had a lot of time to think. Mainly about you.”

  He stilled, his mug halfway to his mouth. Normally he’d be excited to hear that she’d been thinking about him, but given the circumstances, he wasn’t sure she meant it in a good way.

  She smiled. “Do you remember the first time we went out for pizza?”

  He nodded. How could he forget?

  “I remember thinking how amazingly honest you were. You say what’s on your mind, even if it’s not something that people necessarily want to hear. And I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve never been around anyone like you before, but that level of honesty just seems so confident. And on top of all that, you’re genuinely a nice man.”

  Oh, fuck. Here comes the brush-off.

  That sinking feeling he’d felt earlier surged back with a vengeance. It had teeth and claws and was tearing up his insides like a demonic beast. He tried not to let his dread of losing her show, but it had to be evident in the way his heart was pounding out of his chest.

  She leaned forward and fiddled with her mug. “You have no idea how refreshing it is to be with someone who isn’t fake or devious or even bored all the time. I feel like I can talk to you about anything, and you’ll actually listen to me.”

  How anyone could think she was boring was asinine. Talking to Megan and listening to what she had to say wasn’t a chore at all.

  Think, James. She’s gonna end it, and you need to say something to stop her.

  But his anxiety was squeezing his vocal cords. Instead of speaking, he hastily swallowed a sip of scalding-hot coffee. Fuck! His tongue and throat screamed as the hot liquid burned him, yet he never took his eyes off of Megan.

  She continued. “But then we had sex, and after that, everything about our communication changed. I feel like we’ve been tiptoeing around each other like teenagers. I keep wondering when you’ll call. I deliberate over every text I send you, hoping I can convey just the right amount of emotion to let you know I want you, but not so much that I come across as desperate. Instead of talking, we’ve just been having sex.”

  There was no denying the truth in her statement. Jesus, he still had no idea where she was going with this.

  “I’m not saying,” she continued, “that I don’t like having sex with you. But I don’t think I want a relationship that’s only about sex anymore.” Megan swallowed visibly and then took a deep breath. “I know you once said that you can’t do a commitment, and I’d understand if you still feel that way. But I’ve learned I’m terrible at this whole casual sex thing. And in an attempt at full disclosure, the feelings I have for you are stronger than just casual.”

  The beast that had been clawing away at his chest slowly unlatched its talons. Dread seeped away, and something close to hope took its place.

  “Are you saying you want an exclusive relationship?”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” she responded immediately with a curt nod. “I don’t want to just be someone you sleep with. I want to spend time with you in and out of the bedroom. I hate wondering if you’re seeing other women, and I don’t want to see anyone else either.”

  “Sweetheart, you’ve never been just someone I sleep with.”

  Megan looked down at her coffee before lifting her eyes back to his. “After the last time we were together, I wasn’t sure.”

  Shaking his head, James leaned forward. “I’m sorry about that night. I should have apologized a lot sooner than now. Fuck, I shouldn’t have left like I did in the first place. What I did…I’ve never done that before.”

  “Then why’d you do it?” He could see the uncertainty in her eyes, laced with disappointment.

  “To be honest, I got pissed after you mentioned you were going out with another guy. I spent a week trying to convince myself I didn’t care. But I did.”

  “Were you trying to hurt me? Is that why you slept with me and then left?”

  He shook his head. “My leaving wasn’t about you. It was more about me…and not being able to handle the way I feel about you.”

  She swallowed. “And how do you feel about me?”

  She wanted honesty, so he was going to give her honesty. “When I don’t hear from you or see you, it eats at me. I think about you way more than I thought possible. When I sit at the dinner table with Cade, I hope he brings up something that happened at school just so I can catch a glimpse of what your day might have been like. I can’t even use a tool out of that damn tool chest in my garage without thinking of you and what we did that night. Every time I hear a car backfire, I scan t
he parking lot, hoping it might be you and your worthless car.”

  A slow grin spread across her beautiful face. “My car’s not worthless.”

  “It’s pretty damn close to worthless.”

  Megan bit her bottom lip, still smiling. “Are you saying you like me?”

  He laughed because like was such an understated word for how he felt about her. “I like you.”

  “So, can we try the whole committed relationship thing?”

  She asked the question the same way Cade usually asked if he could stay up past his bedtime. Full of hope and apprehension.

  “I say we try it.” He reached across the table and took her fingers into his hand. “But, sweetheart, we need to clarify the situation. If we’re really going to do this—and I hope we do—then you need to know that you aren’t just getting me in the bargain. I’ve never introduced Cade to a woman before, and I honestly have no idea how to do that.”

  Megan nodded, furrowing her forehead in deep thought. “It’s not something we have to do right away. Cade knows me as his teacher, and I don’t think I want to confuse him by showing up at his house for dinner quite yet. Maybe we can ease into that. Meet outside of your house?”

  He liked that. He liked that she got what he was saying. He already felt guilty that Cade didn’t have a mom, and James knew he was bound to feel even more guilt for finally reaching for something that he wanted for himself. That something being Megan. But he was glad she understood his predicament. He was relieved they could come at this together as a team.

  Maybe he’d finally found a real partner.

  ###

  Pushing through the door to the restaurant, Megan searched the wide-open room for James. He wasn’t hard to find. She wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she could home in on him like sonar or if it was just because he hardly fit into the booth he was sitting in.

  The man hung off the edge of the seat with his wide shoulders and big, strong frame. Her man.

  Just the thought made her giddy.

  She smiled at the hostess and started to make her way through the tables and chairs to the far corner. The restaurant was loud. Shrill beeps and bells mixed with kids laughing and having a good time rang from the arcade behind her. The flashing lights of a hundred video games bounced off the walls like a disco ball.

  When James spotted her, he smiled and stood. “Hey,” he said, his voice warm and happy. He placed his warm palm on her shoulder and squeezed. Normally, she would have been disappointed with the lack of contact in his greeting, but not tonight.

  “Hi.” She smiled at James before turning to the table. Cade had his head bent over a kid’s menu, concentrating intently on a clown he was coloring. “Hey there, Cade,” she called.

  The little boy’s head came up and he stilled, his mouth pulling into a big smile. “Ms. McKenna!” Then he took in his dad’s hand on her shoulder and confusion pinched his face. “Dad, is Ms. McKenna the friend you mentioned was meeting us for dinner?”

  “She is,” James replied.

  “No way! That’s so cool!” Cade shouted. “Ms. McKenna, wanna sit by me?” He patted the vinyl bench seat beside him.

  “I’d love to.” Megan looked across the table at the older gentleman, who was smiling to himself. She extended her hand. “You must be Abel. I’m Megan. It’s very nice to meet you.”

  He quickly stood up and shook Megan’s hand, his dark eyes twinkling. “Likewise, young lady.”

  James took her coat and stepped aside for her to take her place in the booth next to Cade. She wasn’t particularly nervous to meet James’s family, especially since she already knew his son. He’d said his father wasn’t a very big talker, but Abel wasn’t giving off any judgmental vibes or anything. James settled into the booth across from Megan and she felt his foot rest beside hers underneath the table.

  “I can honestly say I’ve never been to this place before,” she admitted to the table as a whole.

  “It’s the coolest,” Cade replied, back to coloring. “Angelo Williams had his seventh birthday party here. I played every game and won like two hundred tickets. It was awesome.”

  “What did you buy with your tickets?” she asked him.

  He looked up from his art piece and gave her a smile that looked an awfully lot like his father’s. “I got this awesome glow-in-the-dark necklace with a huge clock on the end. The clock flashes like three different colors.”

  “Whoa,” she responded, raising her eyebrows at him.

  “Dad says I can go play games after we eat. If they still have those necklaces, I’ll try to win one for you!”

  “Maybe she would prefer something other than a glow-in-the-dark necklace, bud.”

  James was leaning on the table with his hands loosely clasped. He looked so relaxed in his heather-gray Henley and faded blue jeans. He caught Megan’s eye and grinned.

  “Dad,” Cade whispered as he leaned toward his father. “Chicks love jewelry. I mean”—he darted a glance at Megan before correcting himself—“girls love jewelry.”

  “Not all girls,” Megan replied, hoping to comfort the boy who was blushing. “But I love jewelry. Especially the glow-in-the-dark kind.”

  Cade flashed a knowing smirk at his dad across the table. James just chuckled and shook his head. Their waitress came and took their order, and before too long their dinners arrived.

  Conversation bounced from James’s business to Megan telling Abel about her family in Boston to the super-awesome video games that Cade couldn’t wait to play.

  The little boy was squirming in the booth beside her, his impatient eyes trained on his father. When James finally gave Cade the green light, Cade quickly forced Megan up and out of the booth with some very polite excuse mes and was off like a bullet into the maze of video games and neon lights.

  “I better follow him,” Abel muttered, putting his napkin on his empty plate. “Never know what that boy will get into.”

  James stood up to let his father out of the booth and watched as Abel walked off in the direction Cade had run. He folded his big body back into the booth and released a loud exhale. “I can’t even hear myself think in this place.”

  Megan smiled, swirling her straw in her drink. “I know. But I can see how it would be appealing to someone Cade’s age.”

  “I’m just warning you that he’ll likely rope you into playing with him. I’m actually kind of relieved that you’re here. The last time, he tried to get me to do some dancing game. I talked him into air hockey instead.”

  The thought of James jumping up and down on one of the dancing games had her biting her lip to suppress a smile. “So the only reason you’re happy I’m here is so I can play video games with Cade?”

  He narrowed his eyes at her, pretending to think hard. “Yeah, pretty much.”

  She laughed, really liking this playful side of James. She needed to get together with him and his family more often.

  He’d called her earlier in the week to wish her a Happy New Year. He asked if she wanted to meet them for dinner on Friday night. This was their first official date since deciding to try the whole exclusive dating thing last weekend. It felt nice to be there with him, even if it was alongside his father and son.

  He leaned forward, taking her hand across the table. “My dad is going to take Cade home after this. Maybe we can grab a drink or something?”

  When he ran his thumb over her knuckles, electricity surged up her arm.

  “I’d like that,” Megan replied.

  She felt him lift the toe of his shoe and run it along the outside of her boot. He slowly smiled, his dark-chocolate eyes holding her captive.

  With one suggestive look, James had her heart rate increasing and her pulse throbbing between her legs. Shifting in her seat, she uncrossed her legs only to cross them in the other direction. Heat and moisture were dampening her panties, and the thick black leggings she wore under her sweater dress weren’t helping the situation either.

  Just when she was about to ask hi
m how soon they could leave, Cade came barreling to a stop at the edge of their table. “Ms. McKenna, we’re up next!”

  “Up next for what?” she asked, trying desperately to pull some air into her lungs and stamp down the flush that had spread over her upper body.

  “Dance, Dance Revolution!” Cade grabbed her hand and hauled her out of the booth.

  She could have sworn she heard James chuckle and say, “Better you than me.”

  Chapter 23

  Walking across the parking lot, James stuffed his chilled fingers into his coat pockets instead of reaching for Megan’s hand. And besides, her hands were already full. Cade half skipped, half walked to their car, clinging to her hand as he recalled every moment of their shared glory on the dancing video game.

  The two of them had put on quite a show, and the green glow-in-the-dark plastic necklace that hung from Megan’s neck was only part of their winnings.

  “I can’t believe we won that dance-off!” Cade cried. “Angelo and Frankie are never gonna believe me when I tell them.”

  She smiled down at him. “We made a good team, didn’t we?”

  Cade rambled on as they made their way through the parking lot. James smiled over at Abel, who just shook his head. He was glad his son had so much fun, especially since it was with Megan.

  James hadn’t overlooked the mostly male crowd that had formed around the dancing video game during their performance. And those men hadn’t been watching the cute seven-year-old kid hopping around on the lighted platform. No, their eyes had been glued to the gorgeous woman on the next platform swiveling her hips in a skintight dress.

  His possessive hackles had definitely stood on end as he watched Megan step, jump, and sway to the dance music. When their dance time had ended, Megan gave Cade a high five, and they’d received a roaring applause. Her cheeks were flushed, a light sheen of perspiration gleamed off her forehead, and her eyes were on fire with excitement.

  When their gazes had met and she’d beamed at James, something had squeezed his heart. All those other fuckers could look all they wanted, but she was going to be in his bed at the end of the night.

 

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