by Lexy Timms
There were no words to describe how this felt, being beside him and being vulnerable. How could she not open her emotions to him? When she thought about how she used to consider him an immature party maniac with no respect for neighbors, she had to stifle a laugh. Sure, he has an ego. He knows he’s hot and he knows every girl would kill to be with him. But I never could have predicted that he would be so mushy.
As she arched her back to mold against his shape more closely, she reveled in his warmth. It was like his smell radiated to cover both of them. She imagined it as a protective cloud around them both, their two forms becoming one.
She closed her eyes and dozed off. Not quite peacefully, but it was enough for now.
MORNING WITH THE SUN came too fast.
She noticed Andrew’s eyes were red the next day. The whole morning he kept blaming it on his allergies. “Summertime isn’t happy-go-lucky for me,” he said. “It’s more like deadly-time.”
Lillian rolled her eyes every time so far back she could see her brain.
But now, as they stood by his car looking at each other, she forgot about his theoretical sensitivity to pollen. She saw Amelia in his face. They had always looked alike. She wondered what Amelia would look like now if she were still here.
He was so different than before; it played tricks on her mind. All her memories with Andrew were from younger days when they could barely be called adults. After Amelia died, she didn’t have any memories that involved smiles. Only tears. And here he stood, right there in front of her, probably thinking the same thing as she was.
Time changes everything.
“I’ll come see you and your family,” she promised, but choked up.
“I’ll try to get work at this factory again sometime soon.” He hugged her tight, and she felt the slightest tremor of emotion in his back.
She dared to ask the question. “Do you think Amelia would be happy we saw each other?”
“I think she would have chewed us to pieces if we didn’t.” His voice sounded strong, but just before he let her go he sniffed and it sounded like sadness.
“You always have a place to stay here.”
He nodded.
“Andrew, thank you for talking to me.” He knew what she meant and nodded again. “And thank you for opening up with Cayden. It means so much to me and I know it means a lot to him, too.”
Deliberating what to say, he finally opened his mouth. “He’s a good one, Lillian. And I can see that he’s crazy about you.”
“Really?”
Andrew smiled. “Yeah. Please tell him I said goodbye and I hope to see him again.”
“I will. And one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
She laughed. “I’m sorry for being hospitalized and having a medical procedure last week. That probably wasn’t the drama you signed up for when I invited you over.”
“Let’s make sure it doesn’t happen again.” She knew he meant it lightly, but he added, “I know you’re healthier now, and I know it’s tough to keep it that way. But let’s do more than just keep it that way.”
The words were so genuine it was hard to make a response. “You should get going. You have a long drive ahead of you.”
Andrew lowered himself into the rumbling car and rolled the passenger seat window down. Lillian bent to see him a last time.
“Take care, okay?”
“You, too.”
She backed away and waved as Andrew slowly faded down the street. Within a few moments, the neighborhood returned to that quiet peace of a summer afternoon. It was her favorite time of year mainly for that reason, but also for the bountiful flowers and thriving plants and trees in every yard as far as the eye could see in either direction.
Turning around, she took a long look at Cayden’s yard. Of course, it was by far the most pristine out of everyone’s yard, but hers wasn’t too far behind. He was finally starting to get the point that she liked everything to look more organic than the cover of a gardening magazine. It was still a little too perfect for her taste, but she couldn’t deny that it was much more stunning than it was before Cayden had worked his magic.
She sighed and treaded up the sidewalk to her house. Black Cat sat on the steps, looking at her curiously.
“What are you trying to tell me?” Lillian asked.
The cat meowed.
“Oh, you’re hungry. Thank you for sharing that vital information with me!” She snatched the cat up and blew a raspberry between his shoulder blades. He squirmed his way out of her arms before she could step inside.
“Be that way, then!” she called as he bolted through the house towards the kitchen. The weather was perfect and she left the door open behind her. A sweet-smelling breeze wafted in, and she took a deep breath before scooping food into the cats’ bowls.
What a week. It had been a week, indeed. She was thankful that everything was fine with her medicines now and that the colonoscopy hadn’t revealed anything too damaging. “Take it easy this week,” the doctor had told her when she became conscious again. “You’ll be fine with your new meds.”
She was fine with the new meds, yes, but that wasn’t the only thing that was fine. Cayden and Andrew had finally begun to chat without her initiating a conversation. Most of the day of her procedure was spent sleeping; in the evening she woke up and found them watching TV, engaged in a dialogue about sports so deep she hesitated to interrupt.
Both were happy to see her recovering quickly, of course.
The next morning Andrew was gone to work and, before Cayden sped out the door to his first of many make-up appointments at the gym, he wrapped his arms around Lillian’s waist. “Forget what I said about Andrew not being on my good list,” he murmured. “I have to remember that you aren’t my ex. The one who cheated. And you aren’t my mom.” He continued by admitting trust was hard, but he realized he was being no better than his ex when he acted so jealous because she had a close friend who a guy.
Lillian never mentioned her talk with Andrew, and Cayden never asked about it.
Aside from the emotional—and medical—chaos of the first few days of their time together, the week of Andrew’s stay ended up being more like she had hoped from the beginning.
Now it was over, and life was returning to normal. For this she was definitely glad. When it rains, it pours. If I ever doubted the truth of that statement, last week proved it. She missed work and walking around naked in her house. Cayden didn’t put a damper on the latter, at least. She smirked. I should surprise him tonight.
She grabbed her phone and texted him, asking what time he would be back from work. He’s probably training someone, she thought when he hadn’t responded after almost an hour, so she finished cleaning the house. When she sat down to answer her pile of emails that had been building up, her phone dinged.
Late, he replied. My last client is at 7. So probably around 8:30.
No problem. I’ll cook.
Don’t do anything too fancy, okay?
Only he would still be thinking about her recuperation in the middle of a training workday. Geez, I’m lucky.
Lillian lost track of time in the quiet hours of the late afternoon. As the sun sank behind the forest, its warm rays came in through the window and washed over her whole body. She tilted her head back and nearly fell asleep until the treetops suddenly blocked the heat. The temperature dropped, and she busied herself closing the doors and windows.
“It’s not as cold now,” she sang to the cats, who were batting a small stuffed animal back and forth with their paws. “It’s still a little chilly to me, though.”
The cats didn’t care, not that she expected them to. She looked around and realized that, for the first time in a while, she was bored.
“Answered emails, made all the phone calls I needed to, cleaned the house...” She bit her lip, trying to figure out what else to do until Cayden got back from work. Nothing came to mind, so she read until it was almost time for him to be home. She meandered around t
he kitchen, making food slowly so it would still be hot when he walked in.
The sandwiches and salad were on the plates when she heard his car drive up. It sounded too distant. She ran to the window and looked out; he had pulled up in his driveway instead of hers, like he had been doing for the last week.
Taking no mind of it, she quickly pulled a more low-cut shirt on and went to meet him.
“Hey, handsome,” she purred as he walked in. She had never seen him slouch like he was now, so exhausted. It didn’t stop his eyes from twinkling and flitting up and down her body.
“What’s the occasion?” he asked, giving the top of her ear a tiny nibble.
She could tell his energy was totally gone, so she pulled him into the kitchen and sat him down. “No occasion. Here, eat. You look like a raisin.”
He said less than ten words the whole meal. When his plate was empty, he leaned back and grunted. “Hit the spot. Thank you.”
“Work okay?”
“Yeah, it was okay. Lots to catch up on.” He rubbed his neck. “I’m dead, Lil. Can I crash on your couch for a while?”
Before she could say yes, he was collapsing onto the sofa. Gray Cat settled between his knees immediately. Lillian’s mind spun. Something isn’t right.
She bet with herself that she could perk him up. Slinking over to the couch, she sat by his waist and draped her body over his torso. “How can I help?”
Cayden opened an eye; she saw the corner of his lip wiggle, trying not to pull up. “I don’t know, how can you?”
Energy coursed down her body to her toes and back up again, balling up in her stomach. Here come the butterflies, she thought as she caressed his collarbone with her lips. She felt like she could rule the world. His skin felt so smooth against hers; she touched the very tip of her tongue to the base of his throat and felt his body tense.
I’ve got him. Pulling at the skin with her teeth, she put her hands on his head and pulled him closer. He shifted positions, accidentally shoving the cat off, but neither of them noticed. She lightly sucked the skin, fully intending to mark her territory.
Then he froze.
His whole body got stiff—not in an aroused way. Her first reaction was that something was wrong. When she pulled back, he was staring at the ceiling like they hadn’t just been playing around with each other.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” he said.
The ball of energy dissipated into oblivion. Cayden sat cross-legged, patting the space between his legs. “Come sit with me.”
Lillian climbed on top of him and wrapped her legs around his body. “Is something wrong?”
“Not really.”
“Why is this so serious?”
He leaned forward to kiss her. “I’ve had an interesting proposition come up recently. As in, yesterday.”
“Okay.” Although he said it wasn’t serious, her nerves were beginning to spiral.
Cayden thought for a second. “One of my clients—her name is Janine—is a very wealthy woman. You should hear her list of accomplishments. She’s met everyone you can think of and has done financial consulting for all the top businesses in the world, practically. Let me illustrate: their house here is one of twelve houses they own around the world.”
“She sounds...delightful?”
“That’s to give you some background,” he explained. “Janine called me yesterday to ask if I would be interested in helping her.”
“With what?”
“She and her husband, who is overseas most of the time working on who knows what, are moving to Los Angeles.”
“That’s nowhere near here,” Lillian said, butterflies picking up in her belly for a different reason this time.
“I know,” Cayden nodded. “Janine is the pickiest in the world when it comes to her choice of gym and trainer, and she thinks I’m basically the most incredible fitness god that has ever existed.” A smug smile lifted his face. “I mean, let’s be real here for a minute.”
Lillian just stared.
“Since Janine doesn’t have a gym or a trainer in L.A. yet, she wants to hire me to come to L.A. with them while they get settled.” At Lillian’s blank face, he quickly added, “It’s so she doesn’t lose her fitness routine while she’s scouring the city for the perfect new trainer.”
The silence in the room suddenly became deafening. Lillian’s ears clouded until Cayden’s voice sounded like it came from the other side of a wall.
“What did you decide to do?” she whispered.
“I wanted to talk to you first.”
“How long would you be gone?”
“I don’t know. Until she finds a new trainer.”
“That could take months, if she’s as particular as you say.”
Cayden grimaced.
Trying to breathe normally, she unwrapped her legs from around him. “I think you should do what you want to do,” she said, but her head felt light.
“It pays a lot, Lil. She’s not short of cash. I would hardly have to spend anything when I’m there.”
Visions of healthy, muscular, model-gorgeous women flashed in her mind, and right in the middle was the girl who had cornered him against his own house. It’s L.A., she screamed inside. There are so many girls there who will fling themselves at him like he’s Ryan Reynolds.
“I don’t want to be away for too long, honestly,” he said.
Don’t adopt his insecurities, Lillian, she commanded herself. He won’t find another girl. He’ll only be gone for a little while. He’ll be faithful.
“I don’t want you to be gone too long, either,” she whimpered.
Cayden took her in his arms. She buried her nose in his chest and tried to re-center her thoughts.
“I think I’m going to do it. Even a couple of weeks pays more than what I get in a month right now.” His voice vibrated in his chest. She listened to his heartbeat as he began to ramble about all the reasons he should take Janine up on her offer. He couldn’t seem to stop talking. Lillian realized he was excited about this change of scenery.
“So,” she interrupted, “when are you leaving?” Trying to lighten her own mood, she said jokingly, “I need time to emotionally prepare.”
He pressed his lips together. “She’s moving next week.”
“Next week?” Lillian’s jaw hit the floor. “She has the nerve to ask you to uproot with only a week’s notice?”
“It’s—”
“You can’t even quit a normal job with one week’s notice!”
“It’s not uprooting, Lil,” he reminded her calmly. “It’s just for a little while until she finds a new trainer.”
Her sadness turned to anger and she stared at the wall, hoping it would cool her blood. “Sorry. I think that’s too short.”
“So do I. That’s probably why she offered to pay me so much.”
Makes sense, she thought. “Have you given her an answer yet?”
“Not yet. I told her I would call her back in the morning.”
“So you’re going.”
“I think I’ll go, yeah. But I’m going to make sure I come back as soon as I can. If you could take off work and come with me, I’d bring you in a heartbeat.”
“My clients need me here, or I would. They depend on me.” She mentally listed reasons she shouldn’t go, all of which involved her clients and the cats.
“I wanted to wait and talk to you about it when things got back to normal. I guess after Andrew left.”
“I thought things were getting back to normal,” she muttered. When it rains, it pours.
“They are, and they will be. Think of it as a business trip. And I promise I won’t even ask you to trim the stray leaves off my box bushes.” He winked and her anger subsided, but the thought that next week she wouldn’t have Cayden around every day brought the dark sadness back.
“Let’s go to sleep,” she said. It wasn’t a question. “I’ll need every night with you I can get.”
Cayden stood quickly, offering his hand as
she stood. She took half a step forward before he swept her off her feet and carried her to the bedroom.
They were both almost asleep when his voice nudged her awake again. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stand being away from you,” he breathed into her ear as he hugged her from behind.
“I want you to have fun, but not without me.” She was so tired she hardly knew what words were coming from her mouth, but it made Cayden do the soft laugh that melted the hard part of her heart.
“I want that, too, Lil.” He kissed her again. They didn’t say anymore and eventually fell asleep.
Chapter 12
The quietness didn’t have the same allure it used to.
It was hard to believe that every day was like this before Cayden moved in. She also couldn’t believe that she was so...alone every day. And she had always been fine with it, life with just the cats and no one else.
Cayden had disrupted her entire concept of serenity.
Since he left for Los Angeles, her yard seemed to have picked up its growth rate by double. His was still fine, as he had hired someone to mow it every week and do some light trimming. Lillian had told him not to worry about her yard. She wanted to let it grow at its own pace for a little while. But as the plants and grass got longer and unrulier, the difference between his yard and hers seemed symbolic.
At first, she pretended she enjoyed having space to herself again, but that only lasted for a couple of days. It surprised her. She thought she would be fine alone for at least two or three weeks before she started really missing him. It was the opposite: she couldn’t adjust. She couldn’t acclimate to life without him. And every day when he called and told her about the glamorous, sunny life in L.A. and the fame around every corner, a little part of her chipped away.
It had been almost two months, and he hadn’t been back once.
She was scared to bring it up lest she be disappointed. She could hear it in her head: “Janine wants to hire me for the next few months. She can’t find a trainer good enough for her yet.” Or, “I met the owners of a gym here. They offered me a job.” He hadn’t said either of these things, but her mind kept wandering to these dark corners of potential scenarios.
