by M. D. Massey
“Mind the doors, and don’t get too close,” Maeve said over her shoulder. I glanced behind me in time to see Guts glare at one such door suspiciously, just before he moved his side of dried beef to his other shoulder. Maeve chuckled—whether because she was yanking our chains, or at how possessive Guts was of his jerky, I couldn’t tell.
Finally, after what seemed like hours in a never-ending march down those stairs, we hit the bottom landing. It was a dank, flagstone affair, with one massive iron-bound door gracing the wall before us. Maeve turned to face the group.
“Beyond this doorway lies the way to Underhill. It is a gate, a path, and bridge, and it is heavily guarded by spells and creatures—the likes of which none of you have ever known or seen. Stray from the path, and you’ll die—probably quickly, and most definitely in horrible fashion. Keep your eyes on the person ahead of you, and ignore what you see and hear around you while we are approaching the gateway. Are we clear on these instructions?”
The group was silent, so I spoke for us. “Stay on the path, keep our eyes on the person in front of us, ignore everything else.”
Maeve looked at each of us in turn and nodded. “Very well then. Let’s begin.”
6
Maeve opened that massive, ironbound door and stepped through. I stared at the doorway for a moment, wondering if I was making a huge mistake. “In for a penny, in for a pound,” I muttered as I followed her through the shadowy mist that obscured the area beyond the opening.
Moving through that mist was a bit like walking through oily cotton candy. I could only dimly make out Maeve’s form several feet ahead of me. But I hesitated to quicken my pace, for fear that I might lose whoever was behind me.
I glanced down briefly, and wished I hadn’t. The surface beneath my feet was black, glassy, and smooth—and it was only a couple of feet wide. I could barely make it out through the shadowy mists that surrounded us, but it was enough to convince me that I needed to keep my eyes firmly planted on Maeve’s back.
Suddenly, the mists parted—or, rather, they dispersed outward to form a sort of cavernous arch around us and over our heads. The floor beneath us widened as well, meeting that fog-like archway to either side. Maeve paused and turned to check on us, continuing only when the entire party had made its way through the mist.
Maeve spoke as she walked ahead of us, and her voice sounded as if it came from a great distance. “The pathway to the gate itself is dimensionally displaced—a trick we fae are rather fond of, as Colin well knows. Surrounding us beyond the mists lie various alternate dimensions that are inhabited by creatures who are wholly committed to protecting this gateway.”
I glanced up, my eyes drawn to a large dark shadow that passed above. I only vaguely recognized the outline of something winged and humanoid, but it was enough to make me think twice about leaving the path.
“Um, Maeve—just how did you get these creatures to agree to guard your gateway to Underhill?” I asked as I hurried along behind her.
She chuckled. “It wasn’t hard. It’s amazing what you can get an entity to agree to when you offer the proper bait and bribe.”
I didn’t care to consider what that meant, and decided against asking any additional questions about Maeve’s guardians. We walked in silence for an indeterminate amount of time, until we finally exited the tunnel of mist into a small cavern that had been carved from volcanic rock.
In the center of the cavern stood an archway carved from that same volcanic rock, adorned with symbols etched deeply into the stone and inlaid with precious metals. As far as I knew, there were no volcanoes in Texas. Obviously, we’d traveled a great distance farther than appearances had led me to believe.
It was said that time and space got trickier and more fluid the closer you got to Underhill, which explained all the shifting rooms and hallways inside Maeve’s home. The home itself was likely a guardian of sorts, protecting the entrance to Underhill from earthside. Conversely, I assumed that all the creatures in the mists surrounding us were there to prevent fae from coming through the gateway from Underhill.
Through the archway, I could see only darkness. I examined the arch in the magical spectrum and saw that a powerful magical weave ran through the stone and metal. At the moment the spell lay dormant, waiting for someone with the requisite skill and power to activate it. Maeve stopped and stood beside the gateway, and we gathered around to await instructions.
She gave me a perplexing look, one filled with concern and worry. Her eyes tightened and her lips pursed and she stared at me. In that moment, Maeve looked older than I’d ever seen her appear.
I smiled, and she flashed a weak one in return before addressing the entire group. “As you can see, the gateway to Underhill is inactive at the moment. And while the gate can be activated from either side, it’s quite a rare event when that happens. You can be sure there will be creatures, fae or otherwise, watching and guarding from the other side.
“Your immediate goal is to rush through the gate, engage and destroy anything on the other side that stands in your way, and then quickly get as far away from the gate as possible. Once the gate is activated, the Tuatha will send fae to investigate. You can also expect that other creatures will be drawn to the gate out of sheer curiosity, as travel between our world and Underhill is rare these days.
“You should consider anything and anyone you encounter on the other side of the gateway to be hostile, regardless of their appearance or stated intentions. Trust no one, and show no mercy—else you may not make it back alive.”
I adjusted the tactical belt that held my sword scabbard and pistol and rolled my eyes. “Sweep the leg and show no mercy. You got it, Sensei Kreese.” I pointed a thumb at Jack-o’-the-Lantern. “I take it that the glowworm over here knows where he’s going?”
Maeve eyes narrowed. “This is no time for jokes, Colin. I assure you, the resistance you meet in Underhill will be fierce. If there was ever a time for shock and awe, this would be it. Now, in answer to your question—yes, Jack will guide you where you need to go by the shortest route possible.” She spared Crowley contemptuous glance. “I would suggest that you follow his advice.”
“Fair enough,” I said, before turning to do a visual inspection of the party. I wasn’t much for Braveheart-style speeches, but I figured I at least needed to tell them what to do.
“Alright, everybody, listen up. Once Maeve fires up this gateway, they’re gonna know we’re coming. So as soon as it opens, we rush through and rain hell down on whoever’s on the other side. I’ll shift and lead the charge, with Hemi and Guts at my back. Crowley will provide fire support, Sabine is on the heals, and Jack—”
The little glowing ball of light bobbed up and down excitedly at the sound of his name.
I sighed. “You just find us the quickest way to get the hell out of there, before reinforcements arrive. Got it?”
Jack bobbed once in reply.
“Alrighty then,” I said, as I kneeled down to unlace my combat boots. “Give me a chance to get stripped down to my skivvies, and we’ll get this show on the road.”
After stuffing all my clothes inside my Craneskin Bag, I shifted into my Fomorian form. I clicked the buckle together on my tactical belt and slung it across my chest along with my Craneskin Bag. Finally, I reached into the Bag and pulled out my war club, and then we stacked up like a SWAT team on our side of the arch.
Maeve stood off to the side, waiting for a nod from me before firing up the gateway. She laid a hand on the smooth, black stone, and began to chant in her native language. Soon the solid blackness in the gateway shimmered, revealing an alien landscape beyond. It looked like something straight out of Alice in Wonderland, if Lewis Carroll had been tripping acid instead of smoking opium.
The sky above—if you could call it that—was a hazy, overcast pinkish-gray. It was hard to say what illuminated the landscape, but whatever it was, the light emanated from beyond the sickly, flesh-toned cloud cover above. Maeve had assured me that the light w
as magical in nature, and that it wouldn’t harm Guts in the slightest. That had been a concern in bringing him along, as sunlight was deadly to trolls.
Grasses and flowers adorned rolling hills, painting the scenery in a multitude of colors reminiscent of a Thomas Kinkade painting redrawn in hippy-trippy Technicolor. Instead of trees, the land beyond was dotted with mushrooms the size of oaks. These were also painted in colors that were altogether unnatural and unnerving in their stunning beauty—vivid tones of emerald green, flaming fuchsia, deep cerulean, and more. From the mushrooms hung draperies of moss and massive ropy vines, obscuring the view in several different directions.
Besides the strange otherworldliness of the landscape, most unnerving of all was the fact that nothing stirred on the other side of the portal.
With no time to waste and no compelling reason to hesitate, I charged through the gateway into the otherworldly scene beyond. Hemi and Guts ran right on my heels in a spearhead formation, passing through the archway with me. The transition from our world to theirs was instantaneous and nearly unnoticeable. Had it not been for the change in atmosphere, scents, and sounds, I would not have known that we’d just stepped through a portal to another dimension.
We blitzed out of the gateway, trampling grass that was just a bit too bright and green beneath our feet. Each of us tensed with expectation of a surprise attack, which I anticipated would come from behind the giant mushrooms and foliage ahead of us. I stopped several yards beyond the archway, finding cover behind the trunk of an enormous twenty-foot mushroom. I signaled the others to do the same, and each spread out and found cover behind me.
That is, all except for Jack, who floated down the narrow dirt and stone pathway before us, stopping several yards hence and settling to the ground. I had no idea what he was doing, but I figured if we were going to be attacked, he would be the one to draw fire and not us. So, I waited nervously, alternately eyeing every hiding place possible, while keeping Jack within the boundaries of my peripheral vision. At the same time, I glanced around to make sure my team had all made it through the portal.
The archway behind us was embedded in the side of a great earthen mound covered in grass and flowers. One side of that mound had been cleaved neatly away, as if by a huge guillotine, and that’s where the gateway sat. The hilltop was the perfect place for a sniper to set up an ambush.
I pointed at the top of the hill. “Guts, sneak up there and make sure no one is gonna come over that hill and attack us from behind.” He nodded and disappeared into the vines and moss around us. I looked at Jack again, and noticed he was vibrating and shimmering where he sat on the ground.
I was just about to go check on him when he emitted a blinding flash of light. I blinked, and when I opened my eyes again, a skinny, goofy-looking man stood in the wisp’s place. He was dressed in worn brown leather boots, gray woolen pants, a green wool tunic, and a leather, broad brimmed hat that had seen better days. Dark, unruly hair shot out like black straw in all directions from beneath the brim, partially covering his eyes and face.
His tunic was belted at the waist with a length of natural rope, and he held some sort of large root vegetable that had been carved into a lantern, from which a pale yellow flame glowed. His face was weathered and tanned, and he sported an ugly scar that ran from his temple down to his jawline on the left side of his face. His eyes were bright, clear, and gray, and a broad smile split his face between a bulbous nose and stubbled chin.
Besides the fact that he was missing a couple of teeth, he looked like a normal human. The little man stretched his arms to the sky, exhaling with a groan. Then he did a little jig that involved a couple of spins in a spry shuffling of his feet. He came to a stop and faced us, doffing his hat and gracing us with a grand bow.
“Jack of the Lantern, at your service,” he said in a deep, melodious voice.
“Well, that was unexpected,” Hemi stated.
I waved at Jack furiously, beckoning him to take cover with us behind the mushroom trunks. I had little faith in his ability to dodge an arrow or spear in his current form, and didn’t want to lose one of my guides right off the bat.
“Jack—get your ass over here, before you get shot.”
Jack stood straight and gestured around the landscape expansively, arms spread. “Why? There’s no one around for miles, I can assure you of that. Well, no one dangerous, anyway. Seems they’ve all found better tasks to occupy their time, than guarding this old abandoned gateway.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “Maeve seemed pretty sure about this gateway being heavily guarded.”
Jack tsked. “Just as sure as I can be. Oh, you can bet your arse they have someone or something keeping an eye on the portal.” He cocked his head and held a hand up to his ear, turning this way and that. “Hmmm… yes, I believe I hear someone fleeing in that direction.” He pointed off somewhere behind him in the mushroom forest.
I stepped out from behind the myco-monstrosity I’d chosen for cover. “I guess we’ll just have to take your word for it. Whoever they assigned to guard this portal—what do you think took them away from their duties?”
Jack scratched the stubble on his chin. “Now that is a mystery, isn’t it? One I’m sure that will be revealed as you go about the business of fetching those objects for the queen. Speaking of, have you decided which of the objects you’ll retrieve first?”
“I hadn’t really thought about it,” I said. “Any suggestions?”
Jack sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Damned mushroom spores, always get to me.” He placed a finger on the side of his nose and turned slowly in a circle, gradually extending his arm as he spun. He stopped after making a near full revolution, pointing in a direction opposite the one in which the sentry had supposedly run. “I’d suggest you travel that way. The Dagda resides in that direction, and I’ve a feeling he’s most likely to be sympathetic to you and your mission.”
I looked up at the hilltop and stuffed my pinky fingers my mouth, whistling sharply to signal that Guts should return to us. “It’s as good a direction as any, I suppose. The Dagda it is, then. He is the father of all druidry, after all.”
Hemi sauntered over with a puzzled look on his face. “Dagda? Didn’t he get capped way back in the day?”
Crowley chimed in before I could respond. “He’s a primary entity, and they don’t stay dead for long. Well, not by the measure of near-immortal beings, anyway.”
Hemi nodded. “Ah yes, I’m familiar with the type. Off them and they bounce right back, eh?”
“That pretty much sums it up,” I said as I shifted back into human form and began getting dressed. Guts slunk out of the trees, silent and stealthy as ever. I did a quick head count while I was lacing up my boots, and noticed that Sabine wasn’t with us. “Where’d Sabine go?”
I got a few blank stares and shrugs, then heard her voice call out from behind a nearby mushroom. “I’m here,” she replied. A few seconds later, she emerged from behind the massive mushroom trunk, and you could hear everyone’s jaws drop as they saw how she looked.
Sabine had dropped her usual disguise and now stood before us with her complete fae beauty on full display. She was a knockout, and always had been—but she usually hid behind a glamour that made her look much less attractive than she actually was. In her current natural form, she was a voluptuous blonde-haired beauty with curves in all the right places… especially upstairs.
“My, but you’re a stunner,” Hemi commented. “I mean, Colin told me, but his explanations failed to describe the magnitude of your beauty.”
Sabine ignored Hemi’s compliment, obviously uncomfortable with the attention she was getting.
“Stunner is an understatement,” Jack stated as he strolled past, approaching Sabine and removing his hat once again to bow at the waist gracefully before her. He stood again and smiled, ravishing her with his eyes all the while. Sabine blushed and shied away.
I walked up and pushed Jack rather forcefully away from
her with a hard shove to the chest. His eyes shot daggers at me as he stumbled and caught himself.
“Leave her alone,” I warned him.
Jack dusted his tunic off needlessly, then cocked his hands at his waist and looked down his nose imperiously at me—quite the feat, considering his stature. “Well now, there was no need for that. I was merely showing my admiration for the young lass—something she seems to be in dire need of, if you ask me.”
Now it was my turn to get shoved, as Sabine pushed me out of the way to storm past. “I can fight my own battles, thank you very much.” She headed off in the direction that Jack had indicated we should travel to find the Dagda’s lair.
Crowley smacked me on the shoulder, chuckling. “Still quite the ladies’ man, I see,” he commented as he stared at Sabine’s retreating form from within the depths of his hood. “I’m fairly certain she means for us to follow after.”
I took a deep breath and gave an exasperated sigh. “I suppose you’re right.” I adjusted my tactical belt to make sure it wouldn’t chafe, then made a lasso motion in the air with my index finger. “Okay, boys, let’s move out. It wouldn’t do for us to get separated this early in the game. Besides, something will probably be coming along to investigate the portal activation. Let’s not be here when it arrives.”
No sooner had I spoken, than we heard the roar of some creature off in the distance. The sound came from a different direction than that in which Sabine had traveled, but it was still worrisome. We glanced at each other, then headed off after her.
7
