Deep (Heavy Hearts Book 2)

by Sarah Jane Duncan

  I laugh again.

  “Ignore her, Lexi. Rhys is just used to getting all the attention and having her pick from the crowd. She’s just going to have to learn how to share tonight.” Tillie gives me a wink that sparkles with the movement from her glittery lids and proceeds to scull down her beer. She looks cuter than ever, wearing a peach-coloured top under her shredded denim jacket which brings out the peach glitter colour on her cheeks. This girl is all about the glitter. She even has some in her cute pixie hair.

  “Fine, I’ll share, but only because I love you, Lexi.” Rhys flashes her teeth at me, throwing her arms around my neck in a hug. I stumble a little, the three vodkas and two fireball shots already oozing through my veins.

  “How much have you bitches had to drink?” Dale asks, pulling out a joint and offering it to me. I shake my head, refusing.

  “We’ve had enough to drink for now.” Rhys grabs the joint out of Dale’s hand and pops it between her lips, leaning into Alister when he offers her a light.

  “Oh, joy. Rhys is going to be drunk and stoned. What a lovely combination.” Bell complains, looking basically the same as she does at school, just without the ugly navy uniform. In its place is nothing but black. Her lips are as dark as Rhys’s tonight, and her eyes are smoky with shadow. She looks hot. Shit, they all do. Even Alister, who usually looks like death, has colour in his cheeks tonight. I wonder why. Maybe he’s taken something. Or perhaps he’s just had a tumble with Dale in the bushes. I know they’re both gay, but I don’t think they are into each other. I could be wrong.

  Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch blasts through the speakers, and we can’t help but start dancing right there in the backyard of the party. Most of the people here are older, maybe Uni students, since we are at Redfield, a town that basically butts up against Fox Pines in Timberland Valley. Very few people here look like they are our age. I don’t care, though. It’s better this way. No one here knows me. They don’t know my past. The only thing they have to judge me on is what I do right now.

  Tonight, I’m wearing black jeans that are so tight they look like they are painted on, and I deliberately forgot to put a jacket over my red boob tube. Yep, Rhys told me to dress slutty, and while I wasn’t willing to have my legs out in this cold weather, I totally went a full 360 on the top half.

  I had to wait for Ayden to leave my house earlier before I got ready. I know he means well, but if he gave me his opinion on what I can and can’t wear, then there would have been a bloodbath! Okay, slight exaggeration, but it would have pissed me off.

  He had spent a good hour talking to Rhys about the seriousness of my situation. He’d made her agree to remind me to check in with him every hour and let them know addresses we go to and how we were getting to and from the party.

  Ayden learnt quickly that Rhys has an answer to everything. And he also learnt that she’s a little cray-cray, which is why I adore her so much. I guess he could see that, so he eventually left us to have our fun night.

  As we dance and laugh, two different joints get passed around our group, and I only take it once, not wanting to have a repeat of losing my memory or my wits. I feel so free right now. So light and happy. I know it’s a veil caused by the booze mostly, but I don’t care. These new friends of mine don’t riddle me with the self-conscious anxiety I usually get at parties. They fill me with a sense of peace and belonging.

  Is this what normal feels like? If it is, then count me in.

  “Incoming.” Bell deadpans, and I turn in time to see a tall, dark, decent looking guy approaching us.

  “Oh, yes! Look at him, Lexi. He’s fuckable and then some. Have at it. I’ll take the next guy.” Rhys whisper shouts in my ear, letting everyone around us, including the guy, know exactly what she said.

  “Hey there. I’m Andy.” He’s tall, like all guys are to me, but not as tall as Jared. Maybe a similar height to Ayden. He has the sexy facial hair that I seem to like, along his jaw just like Ayden, although now that I take a closer look, it’s patchier than Ayden’s. Scruffier looking somehow.

  “Ah, hi Andy.” I’m pretty sure I have a stupid grin on my face as I look up into his brown eyes. It’s hard to tell what my face is doing. Shit, that weed must have been strong if I can’t feel my face properly. I only had one drag... didn’t I?

  “You wanna grab a drink with me, ah…” Andy hesitates before leaning in a little closer, “Sorry, what’s your name?”

  “Oh. I’m Alexis.” Jesus, why did I say my full name?

  “A very beautiful name, for a very beautiful girl,” Andy’s eyes soften as he looks at me. Meanwhile, I fight back a cringe. He’s full of shit. He’s telling me what he thinks I want to hear, and because I’m drunk, a little stoned and horny, I’m totally going to pretend I buy it.

  Ayden.

  Fuck me, why am I thinking of Ayden? I need to forget about Ayden so he can move on.

  “So, would you like to come and have a drink?” He’s a persistent fella.

  “I’m not that thirsty, but I’ll come chat with you, anyway.” I smile at him, mostly because the weed is kicking in, and I’m pretty sure everything is going to make me smile right now.

  Andy’s eyes darken, and he licks his lips before gesturing towards the house. “Let’s go then.”

  For a second, I panic, but I don’t get the chance to feel its force before Rhys shoves me forward, and I stumble into Andy’s chest. His deep chuckle is close to my ear, and his arms wrap around me. Leading me onto the porch which is bathed in the shadows, he grabs a beer out of an esky and cracks the lid, taking a sip.

  “So Alexis,” I cringe hearing my full name. Why did I tell him that? I’m thankful he doesn’t notice my expression in the dark. “What brings you out tonight?”

  “Just wanted to have some fun.” I glance behind me. My friends are still in the middle of the yard, by the fire. Not too far away, but far enough that they can’t hear me talk. People are spilling out from the shed where the music floats out from, but over here at the back of the house, it’s quiet.

  “You want to have some fun with me?” Glancing back at Andy, who is now a lot closer to me than he was a moment ago, I feel fear prickle at the edges of my high. Fuck, this guy is straight to the point. No chatting. No getting to know each other. Just straight into it.

  “Ah- maybe a little.” I’m not so sure now. This was a bad idea. I’m not ready for this. Sure, I’d love to share a kiss with someone, but really, I want that someone to be Ayden. Not Andy, whoever the fuck he is! Glancing back over my shoulder again, I double-check my friends are still where I saw them a minute ago. They are, and Rhys catches my eye. Good, she’s keeping an eye on me. That’s good, right?

  “If there’s one thing I can do for you tonight, Alexis, what would that be?” I turn back to Andy, who is now closer again. Like all up in my space type of close. I have to strain my neck back to see his eyes which lock on my lips when I look up to him.

  Calm down, Lexi. He’s not whipping his dick out. He’s just looking at my lips, wanting a kiss, I guess. I can do that, right? I can kiss him? His lips look pretty nice. They aren’t like Ayden’s lips, but I’m sure they would be soft and warm. I really miss being kissed. Being touched like I’m loved.

  “A kiss.” The words leave my lips before I can stop them. Whoops.

  “A kiss hey?” Andy grins. It’s a nice grin, but it doesn’t have the sexy dimples like Ayden’s grin does.

  “Yeah. I need a really good kiss.” Why the fuck am I still talking? That’s it. No more drinks for me!

  “Looks like you came to the right place then, darlin’.” Andy’s fingers gently brush my cheek.

  I flinch, but he doesn’t stop. He leans down, and I freeze in place, feeling like I’m about to do something incredibly wrong.

  All I can think of is Ayden. But I have to stop thinking about him because he deserves better than me. I will do nothing but bring him down and destroy his kind soul with my bullshit life. I can’t have him.

&
nbsp; I can have Andy, though, and this meaningless kiss.

  Andy leans in, his eyes on my lips. I have to do this, so I fight back my fears and stand on my toes to close the distance. Andy brushes his lips over mine, and I wait for the warm tingly sensation that gives me butterflies… but it doesn’t come.

  The only thing I feel is repulsed. Without even thinking, I push against Andy’s chest, needing to get him away from me. He stumbles back, anger twisting his face, and even though it’s dark, I can see it glow red.

  “You fucking tease!”

  “Hey! Cockhead! Back off!”

  The bellow comes from behind Andy, the deep voice very familiar.

  Andy spins, addressing the voice.

  “Stupid high school sluts! Talk the talk but can’t walk the walk!” It’s almost like Andy is a different person to the one that approached me only minutes ago. I know, I know. I spoke to him for all of three minutes, but still.

  “Yeah? So, you know she’s underage then, man! You might want to fuck off now before I make you!”

  Andy growls, dragging his hand over his dirty blonde hair. “Fuck this, Trav. Stop inviting the teenage bitches to our party’s man!”

  Trav? I step around Andy to see Travis Watson, my partner in crime. Literally.

  “Travis?” My voice comes out like a squeak.

  A pimple-faced, cheesy grin spreads over Travis’s face as he moves his eyes to me, but then, he turns to address Andy again. “Fuck off will ya!”

  Andy grumbles something under his breath, storming off towards the shed, and Travis steps up to me and places his hands on my forearms.

  “If it isn’t the one and only, Sexy Lexi.” His smile is big, and all I feel is relief. Launching myself at him, I wrap my arms around his neck in a tight hold. “Aww, you missed me, didn’t you?”

  I nod into his neck, and he chuckles.

  “I’m so sorry about the school thing,” I say low enough that only he can hear.

  Peeling my grip from around his neck, Travis steps back to look me over.

  “Forget about that. Are you okay Lex? I fucking freaked when I saw that news report about you. I beat the shit outta Mike when I saw him a couple of days later.”

  “What?” I screech, “You saw Mike? My Brother?”

  “Yeah. It was a few days after the news broke. The fucker had the nerve to come knocking to score some dope. Fucking idiot. As if I’m gonna sell to that dipshit. Turns out he went on a bender with the product he was meant to sell, and his dealer cut him off and gave him a week to come up with the cash. I got no idea what happened to him after I laid into him, but his name is dirt in the Valley now, and it has more to do with why the cops are looking for him, and less to do with drugs.”

  Wow. Mike didn’t even try to flee the area. He’s either dumb as all fuck, or has a big set of gonads. I’m betting on the former.

  My mind is still reeling when arms wrap around me from behind.

  “Oh, baby, you did it again, didn’t you?” Rhys’s voice draws Trav’s attention, and she slides her hands seductively over my waist, “Sorry man, she’s new to lesbianism. Sometimes she forgets she prefers pussy.”

  A laugh rips free before I can stop it, and Trav joins me while eyeing Rhys with interest. I turn in her arms and hug her before looking back over my shoulder to Travis.

  “Rhys, this is Travis, an old friend.”

  “Well, I’m glad he’s an old friend. For a moment, I thought you were playing pass the parcel with your tongues. Where did that Andy guy storm off to?” Rhys links her fingers in mine while she blatantly checks out Travis.

  Travis’s brows shoot up. “So, Andy got a tongue in, did he?”

  I shoot Travis a dagger, but he just laughs at me.

  “Was he a good kisser?” Rhys asks, and I shift uncomfortably as she waits for my answer.

  I shake my head.

  “Too much tongue? Too sloppy?” Rhys cringes, “He wasn’t a muncher, was he?”

  “A muncher?” I have no idea what this girl is on about half the time.

  “Yeah, you know. Kissed you like he was trying to eat your face.” Rhys gags. “I fucking hate munchers.”

  My brows reach my hairline, and Travis chuckles, this time checking out my new best friend just as she did him a few minutes ago. Great!

  “No, he wasn’t a muncher. He just wasn’t…”

  “Wasn’t?” Rhys urges.

  “Ayden,” I whisper.

  I know Rhys heard my words when I feel her drop my hand, and she slides her arm over my shoulder, tugging me close. Unfortunately, Travis heard it too.

  “Ayden? Who’s Ayden?” He asks, his sandy blonde brows tugging inwards.

  “Ayden is the guy that saved her from her brother. Then Lexi gave him her V-card.”

  “Rhys!” I hiss, pushing her off me.

  “What? You said this guy is an old friend.” She shrugs.

  Fuck my life!

  Travis starts belly laughing, and I have the overwhelming urge to punch his pimply face.

  “Besides. It doesn’t matter. You and Ayden aren’t a thing anymore, and you’re looking for a kiss to rid you of all things Ayden.”

  Pain claws at my chest. Rhys is right. We aren’t a thing anymore, and I know I need to try to move on so that Ayden can too, but it’s hard. My heart wants him more than it wants to beat.

  “You know Lexi, I’m happy to let you kiss me again. You loved it last time.” Oh, Travis did not just go there!

  “Say what? You little slut Lexi!” Rhys cries and starts jumping and clapping her hands.

  “Seriously?” I hiss at Travis, and he frowns.

  “What?”

  I shake my head and turn my back on them both, heading towards the fire pit where my other friends are.

  “That was the most awkward kiss I’ve ever seen. Don’t do that ever again.” Bell, usually so blasé, actually screws her face up when I approach. Did everyone see that Andy guy kiss me?

  “You know, Lex, you can totally have the kiss you’re craving without thinking about Ayden.” Rhys lights up another joint as she skips past me. I turn to see Travis walking into the shed where a lot of the other partygoers are. I’ll have to find him again later. He might have more info on where Mike is.

  I draw my attention away from Travis and consider what Rhys said. “How?” I ask since she has me curious.

  “Kiss me.” My brows shoot up at Rhys’s comment.

  “Jesus Rhys, you can’t try and turn Lexi into a licker,” Bell argues.

  “I don’t want to turn her Bell. I want to show her how fun it can be to have both.” Rhys wags her brows at both of us, and Bell rolls her dark eyes.

  I frown.

  “Rhys is bisexual, Lexi. She’s greedy and likes dick and pussy.” Bell explains, snatching the joint off Rhys.

  “Wow. How did I miss that?” I ask.

  “It’s not like I have it stamped across my forehead. You’d be surprised how many people are bisexual, Lexi.” Rhys grins deviously at me. “Oh, the ‘Tea’ I could share with you.”

  “I don’t have any interest in pussy.” I’m one hundred percent certain about that too.

  “Don’t knock it until you try it.” Rhys blows a puff of smoke in my face and offers me the joint. I refuse. I need to be careful. If I have too much, I’ll end up having no memory of the night again.

  “I’ll pass.”

  Rhys rolls her eyes at my refusal.

  “Honestly, though, I can totally give you the kiss you’re looking for. You won’t even think about Ayden, I promise.” Rhys smiles, “Besides, guys fucking love seeing two chicks make out.”

  Standing in front of me, Rhys takes another drag of the joint. As if my eyes have a mind of their own, they automatically seek out her lips. Fuck, am I seriously considering this?

  Holy shit! I think I am. I totally want Rhys to kiss me.

  As if I’m possessed with mischief, I shoot Rhys a devilish grin, and she smiles knowingly.

  “Puck
er up those luscious lips, Lexi.” Rhys smiles, moving in, her eyes on my mouth.

  She pulls me against her body, and it feels oddly exciting to have a female body pressed up against mine that way. I can feel her curves and the round swell of her breasts. She's a little taller than I am, but not by much.

  Holding the joint between her fingers, Rhys lifts it to my lips, letting me take a long drag. Once I’m done, she takes another drag herself and then tosses it over her head. Dale curses and lunges for the joint, but that’s all I notice other than the shape of Rhys’s lips and how her tongue darts out to wet them as she moves in closer. I close my eyes once I feel her lips touch mine and enjoy the feel of her soft lips as they press against mine. Then Rhys darts her tongue out, and I open to her, hearing her groan as our tongues collide.

  Cheers ring out around us. Guys hoot, calling out for us to keep going, and Rhys deepens the kiss making me moan this time. She was right; I can’t think of anything but her lips.

  Strong arms suddenly wrap around my waist, and I’m ripped away from Rhys before I find myself thrown over a strong shoulder like a sack of potatoes. My world tilts upside down, and it takes me a moment to get my eyes to focus when I see Rhys is in the same predicament. Our eyes lock, and we laugh. She looks ridiculous upside down with her dark hair falling past the knees of the guy that carries her.

  “Girl, who’s carrying me?” Rhys manages to say between giggles.

  I strain my neck, trying to see who it is. It’s hard to make sense of anything when I'm upside down, stoned and drunk.

  “I think its Marcus,” I whisper-yell. I don’t know why I’m whisper yelling. “Wait. Who’s carrying me?” Why is Marcus here?

  Rhys is laughing too much to respond, so I decide to take things into my own hands… literally.

  “Who belongs to this fine arse?” I slap the arse and hear a grunt. Rhys laughs even harder.

  “Um, Marcus, she’s likely to pee on you if she laughs much more,” I yell this time and then join Rhys in a fit of giggles.

  Rhys slaps Marcus on the arse then, and he wiggles it, laughing.

  I decide to play the drums on the arse that is basically in my face, and in return, I get a firm slap on my own arse, and a deep voice snaps, “Behave.”