An awkward silence descended. Maggie didn’t know what else to say. “Why…why do you think you dreamed that?”
“I don’t know,” David sounded frustrated. “Maybe it’s nothing. Not a memory. Only a strange dream. I’ve rolled everything at the Canyon around in my head since we returned. Like everyone else. Maybe it’s nothing.”
“Don’t dismiss it too quickly, David. My flashbacks are un-recovered memories, and I dream about them all the time.”
He peered at her again, those piercing eyes studying her face.
Eventually she dropped her gaze, feeling self-conscious. “Can I ask you something, David?” She glanced up. He didn’t look away, and she took it as a yes. “When Justine called you ‘the Vanished One,’ you seemed angered by it. Why would a meaningless collective insult bother you so much?
David sighed and stared up into the sky once more. She thought he might be gathering his thoughts. At length, he spoke. “It means what I said, about the phantoms. You remember what I said about it also being a derogatory term?”
She nodded.
“Sometimes, in the collective—not often, mind you—one of the drones…collapses in on him or herself.”
“What does that mean?” Maggie asked.
“They…” David visibly struggled to find his words,. “. . . find the stresses of collective life too difficult to sustain. Their brain waves slow down. They stop responding to stimuli of any kind.”
“So they become…catatonic?” Maggie asked.
David shrugged. “On a neurochemical level, yes. The collective has methods to bring them out of the Vanished state, but they don’t always work. If the condition can’t be reversed, eventually the brain functions that control their physiological processes will degrade as well. They’ll just stop living.”
“So wouldn’t ‘Vanished’ be the same as just being dead?” she asked.
David shook his head. “No. Being Vanished leads to death. It specifically refers to the mental state before death, though. It’s like the victim falls into emotional and intellectual apathy.”
“Why would Justine call you that, David? You’re the opposite. By leaving the collective, you now have higher brain function than they do.”
He shrugged. “A play on words. Being Vanished is the worst thing you can be in the collective. It means you’ve given up. You’re weak. Not useful to the whole anymore. All of those things apply to me, in my case because I chose to leave, not because I became apathetic, but even so.” He shrugged again, but Maggie wasn’t fooled. He wanted her to think it wasn’t a big deal, but the tightening around his eyes said otherwise.
“Why do you care what Justine thought or said, David?” she asked quietly.
David’s jaw became stone. “I won’t be told that I’m weak.” His gaze shifted to Maggie. “Or that I don’t care about anything.”
Maggie dropped her eyes, wishing she could blend into the grass.
“Maggie!” Doc’s voice came from behind them.
Maggie stood, handling the prophecy with care, and turned to face him as he picked his way down the slope toward them.
“Ah, David,” Doc said. “You’re here too. Can I steal Maggie away for a few hours?”
“Of course,” David said. “I’ll check on Lila and Jonah’s progress.”
“Before we go in, Doc, can I ask you some things?” She motioned upward.
“Of course,” Doc said. “That’s why I’m came out. I hoped you’d figured out some things.”
“I don’t know if I’d say, ‘figured out.’” Maggie gave him a nervous laugh. “It’s more like questions I have.”
David took two steps up the slope and Doc took his place beside Maggie. They didn’t sit but stared up into the sky together. David continued moving up the slope toward the entrance into Interchron, his footsteps slowly and steadily crunching away from them.
“There are dark places,” Maggie said. “Almost like little holes pulling the energy into them. Like tiny vortexes. I thought maybe they were black holes. Tiny ones.”
“Black holes are a physical phenomenon, Maggie,” Doc said. “If that’s what these were, we’d all be able to see them, and I can’t. Only you can. They must be related to an ability you have.”
“Do you think they could be dark matter?” she asked.
David’s footsteps stopped and Maggie heard him spin. She looked over her shoulder to find David staring at her with a worried expression.
When Maggie turned, so did Doc. "What is it, David?" Doc asked.
David opened his mouth, hesitated, then shook his head. "Nothing." He turned once more toward Interchron's entrance.
"David," Doc called. "Wait. Would you speak with Maggie and I for a few minutes more?"
David shrugged and moved back down toward them.
"No, please," Doc waved an arm. "Let's all go inside. Come, Maggie."
They made their way into the mountain and to a vacant room. One of many at Interchron. The mountain had far more space than people to fill it.
The room stood bare except for a large flat boulder in the center and four chairs around it. The boulder, chairs, and walls all held the same color as the sand on the floor, making the room utterly drab. The three of them took seats around the makeshift table.
"David," Doc began as soon as they sat. "I've been wanting to talk to you. During the meeting in the conference room today, you seemed surprised when I asked for your opinion. Did I interpret your reaction correctly?"
David frowned. "Yes."
"Why were you surprised?"
"I'm not a member of the team. People don't trust me. I'm surprised you trust my opinion."
Doc smiled sadly. "Did you tell us the truth?"
David's face showed mild alarm. "Of course."
Doc nodded. "I thought so. David," he said gently. "I know you and Marcus are still working things out between you. For the record, I do trust you. You've more than proven yourself. I think most of the rest of the team feels the way I do. Obviously Maggie does."
Doc shot her an affectionate smile, which she returned.
"It may take Marcus some time to get to where we are," Doc continued, "but he'll come around."
David studied his hands. "Thank you," he said quietly.
Maggie thought he might be fighting with his emotions. As always, he appeared genuinely confused by them.
"You must understand something else as well, David,” Doc continued. “Because you have so recently been inside the collective and come willingly to us, you have a unique perspective. You know things no one else in Interchron knows. Please don't hesitate to volunteer information you suspect may be relevant, even if you're unsure."
David paused briefly before nodding.
"Is there some reason you are reluctant to share such information with us?" Doc asked. He'd obviously picked up on the hesitation too.
David shrugged. "I still…struggle with my emotions. What they mean. How to contain them. Sometimes, I worry they will get the better of me."
Doc gave David and understanding smile.
Maggie thought she understood. David had a hard time controlling his emotions. She didn't know which ones he meant specifically, but if talk of life in the collectives brought on anger, or tears, she understood why he avoided the conversation.
"May I ask you a question, Doc?" David asked.
Doc's eyebrows jumped in mild surprise. "Of course."
"You feel emotions. I know you do. I've seen it. Yet, more than anyone else here, you contain them. You always remain…stoic. How do you do it?"
Doc smiled sadly. "I think it's an age thing, David. As you grow older, have more experiences, you learn many things. You learn emotions should be felt keenly. You also learn how to manage them more…efficiently."
David frowned. "Do those two things not contradict one another?"
Doc leaned back in his chair, considering. "Perhaps. I've never thought so, though. It's simply what we do. Don't worry, David. The longer you spend
outside the collectives, the more you'll learn to control your emotions. I don't think it can be taught from one person to another. It's experience that comes with time, and from feeling your own emotions.
"Now," Doc said sat forward, more business-like. "My turn to ask. What gave you pause out on the slopes before, when Maggie mentioned dark matter?"
David rolled his shoulders back, looking more confident than Maggie had ever seen him. "The way Maggie describes what she sees in the sky does sound like they may be small, opaque vortexes. If they are, she can see dark matter."
Doc heaved a deep breath and sat back in his seat.
Maggie didn't think he liked the idea of her being seeing dark matter. It worried her.
"What does that mean to you, David?" Doc asked.
"The Cimerian implied he could manipulate dark matter. If Maggie can see it, then she can manipulate it too. Sounds like they are equally paired to me."
"Meaning what?" Maggie asked, her heartbeat quickening.
"I don't know," Doc said quietly. "I think David means it can't be a coincidence that you're the only one who can match this Cimerian's ability. If the collectives need him for the merging, you truly may be the only one who can stop it. The only one who's a match for his abilities."
Maggie sighed. "But I don't know how. Even if I can, he knows what he's doing. I'm clueless."
"Well," Doc said matter-of-factly. "I hope to remedy that. I'll try to tease out your abilities in a safe way. With all the new information we have, I'll have new things to look for. Let's see what we find."
"I'll leave you to it." David rose to leave.
"Wait," Maggie said. "David, before you go, why don't you tell Doc about your dream. See what he thinks."
Doc raised a curious eyebrow in David's direction.
David shrugged, sat again, and repeated everything he'd told Maggie out on the slopes.
"Interesting," Doc said when they'd finished. "You think this is a memory?"
"I don't know," David admitted.
"I agree with Maggie," Doc said, clasping his hands atop the boulder-table. "Best not to totally dismiss the notion. I firmly believe what we feel strongly about is most likely the truth. Maggie feels sure her flashbacks are true memories. You think this is as well. I don't pretend to know how, but you're probably both right."
"I thought," Maggie said, "maybe he super-imposed the image of me from the future into this memory. I couldn't have truly been there, right?"
"Don't be too sure, Maggie," Doc said, making the hairs on Maggie's neck stand up. "The only thing we know for certain about the you from the future, is she could time travel. If you came back to the moment in the Canyon, why not also back to when David was still a child?"
Maggie's mouth dropped open. "But…to what end?"
"I've no idea," Doc spread his hands and transferred his gaze to David. "There was no more to this dream than what you've told us?"
"Not that I remember, no."
"Have you had this dream before?"
"Again, not to my recollection."
Doc nodded. "Well, it's intriguing, to be sure. Be sure to let me know if you have it again."
David stared pensively at the top of the boulder-table.
"David?" Doc said. "Is there something else?"
"Maybe. I don't know if this will make any sense."
"Please," Doc folded his hand atop the table once more. "Tell me."
David shot Maggie a wary glance.
Oh no. What was he going to say?
"In the dream, when Future Maggie put her hand on me," he placed his hand on his abdomen, directly under the breastbone. "Here. I felt something." He put both his hands back on the table. "I've told Maggie from the beginning that I feel drawn to her."
Maggie's face instantly heated and she turned her head slightly away from David. Did he have to talk about this with Doc?
In her periphery, she caught Doc's knowing glance toward her.
"I feel the pull toward her," David continued, "in a physical way. I couldn't define exactly where I feel it. It feels deep inside. Too deep to be a specific place in my body. If I wanted to define it, I'd say," he put his hand back onto his abdomen, "I felt it here."
"In the same place," Doc said quietly.
Maggie shifted uncomfortably. Her face felt on fire.
"Do you think that's important?" David asked. Then sat back in his chair with a scoff. "Even as I ask it, it sounds ridiculous."
"I wouldn’t call it ridiculous, David," Doc said gently. "I'm not sure it means anything in the way you're thinking."
Maggie's head snapped up. "What do you mean?"
Doc spread his hands. "David feels this pull toward you. Perhaps he felt it in the dream simply because he saw you in the dream."
David frowned. "You mean…" he trailed off, looking confused.
"I mean perhaps it was you, the adult David, who felt the pull when you saw Maggie in your dream, the same as you feel it when you see her in waking reality. That doesn't mean the child you from the memory felt it."
David raised an eyebrow, his face pensive again. "How can I know which it is for sure?"
Doc smiled. "Only you can tell, David. It was your dream."
"Doc," Maggie cleared her throat. "Since we're on this subject, what do you think of this 'being drawn' to me anyway? Don't you think it's in his head?"
She prayed he'd agree with her.
Doc shook his head slowly. "I don't think I'd argue that, Maggie. As I said earlier, what you believe about why you feel something is probably the truth. David feels what he feels. I believe everything has a purpose, even if we don't fully understand it yet."
"I do understand it," David said quietly.
Both Maggie and Doc stared at him.
"You do?" Maggie asked.
David met her gaze direction and nodded. "At least in part."
Maggie rolled her hand in a frantic motion for him to continue. She needed to know, even while fearing what he'd say. Please don't let him profess undying love here in front of Doc.
David shifted in his seat, straightening his back. "When I first came out of the collective, it helped me find you. I came toward you in a straight line until I ran into Nat. You drew me toward Interchron, Maggie."
"That's exactly what I don't get." Maggie turned toward Doc for help. "How could he have been drawn to me? To Marcus for sure." She turned back to David. "You knew his neurochemical signature, even if you'd forgotten it. You two grew up together. I can totally understand you being drawn to his signature, but why mine?"
David gave a half shrug, looking vaguely mystified. "I simply…was."
"How? When we'd never even met—"
She cut off, remembering his original question out on the slopes. I'm wondering if we'd ever met before that day. He thought his dream was a memory.
As if reading her mind, David nodded. "That's why I asked,” he said softly. “I think I may have met you as a child. I knew your neurochemical signature because of that, and followed it here.”
Maggie's breathing felt uneven. She couldn't slow down her heart.
Doc looked torn between discomfort, as though not sure he should be part of this conversation, and fascination. She thought there might be guilt in there somewhere too.
"Perhaps," Doc said at length, "this is a moment that will change your future, Maggie. That will change all of ours."
Maggie's hands trembled in her lap. Self-awareness could be terrifying.
"Is there anything else?" Doc asked David.
David gave him a questioning look.
"You said you understood, in part, the purpose behind the pull you feel toward Maggie. Is there anything more you know of it? Besides it guiding you toward Interchron."
David shifted in his chair again, looking more uncomfortable than before. "I think…I think it keeps me from becoming Vanished."
Maggie's head snapped toward David, who merely looked back at her. "What does that mean? I thought the Vanished Ones o
nly inhabited the Cimerians."
David shook his head. "Vanished Ones will inhabit any willing hosts. The Cimerians, overall, are very willing." He cleared his throat before going on. "Few drones escape the collectives anymore. Back when they used to, most couldn't adjust to life outside the hive. It's why so many of them eventually allow the Vanished to inhabit them. Without some other voice in their heads to tell them what to do, they quickly grow despondent. Purposeless. I didn't."
"You're stronger than most," Maggie said.
David shook his head. "I'm not. Not in the way you're thinking. I broke away, but the physical and emotional toll should have ruined me. It didn't. The pull I felt gave me purpose. Kept me moving across the world." He studied his hands in his lap and his voice dropped so low, she barely made it out. "It still does."
Maggie held her breath. The beat of her heart sounded like the loudest thing in the room.
David took a deep breath, seeming to relax. "I know it makes you uncomfortable, Maggie, and I’m sorry. Truly. But being drawn to you is the only thing keeping me human right now."
"Is that so?" The deep voice came from the doorway, and Maggie cringed. Because of their bond, she recognized Marcus's energy without turning to look at him. She should have felt him draw close. She'd been so focused on David's words, she hadn't registered it.
Slowly she turned, wondering how much Marcus heard. He stood in the doorway, glaring thunderbolts at his brother. Karl stood beside him, looking between the two brothers uncertainly.
"Something you two need?" Doc addressed Marcus and Karl calmly.
Karl cleared his throat. "I wanted to talk with Maggie and Marcus about their…bond. Something Tenessa said."
"Oh?" Doc perked up, sounding genuinely curious.
"Yes." Karl barked a forced laugh, still eyeing Marcus and David warily. "It's the kind of thing you'd find interesting, Doc. In fact, I think she knows everything about the eclipse. She's revealing it slowly, quid pro quo-style."
Maggie felt Doc's hesitation and turned to see him frown. "You must be careful, Karl. You don't want to be telling a collectivist things of too personal a nature."
Dark Matter (Interchron Book 3) Page 13
