by Lindsey Hart
Rayvn stepped up but stopped short of offering a hug. Mostly because they both knew they’d become instant bawl bags. “I bet if I had done the same thing for Shane, he would have reacted the same way. You’re right. It’s just how men are.”
“Ben likes that I have a business,” Charlotte protested. “He would love it if I could hand him a chunk of money like that. He’s the one that wants to be a stay at home dad.”
Rayvn and Laney laughed. “Yes, well… I bet not. If the situation was different. Hector barely knows me. It’s only been a month. I think he was trying to push me away. He raised that whole issue before, of not being proud of not being able to like, take care of me even though I don’t need it. It’s not the first time I heard it. I should have guessed he wouldn’t have taken the money and that he would have been humiliated by what I did.”
“Why would he be humiliated? That’s what I don’t understand.” Charlotte frowned.
“Because you guys don’t know him and now he thinks you’re going to see him a certain way because I told you that he needed money or that he was going to lose the farm or something. He’s ashamed of that already. It’s eating him up, even if he tried to hide it from me. I can tell how absolutely devastating it is.”
“Well, I do see him a certain way. As an asshole.”
“And it can’t be that devastating if he’s willing to lose the farm because of his pride,” Rayvn pointed out.
“He says he had an offer. An offer on the farm and a job offer. He took it without considering me and that alone tells me more than anything that-”
The bell on the door chimed. Laney didn’t turn around. She was near tears again and didn’t want a customer to see how upset she was. Her face was still a little puffy, her eyes red-rimmed. She was at work, but she was determined to spend most of her time in the back working on furniture.
Rayvn stepped past Laney, all smiles. “Hey. Can I help you find anything?”
There was a moment’s pause and then a deep male voice filled up the entire store. “No. That’s alright. I already see what I came for.”
Laney spun around. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. “Hector?” she gasped.
Rayvn whirled around and the three of them, she and Laney and Charlotte, exchanged a look. Laney finally swallowed hard and stepped out from behind the counter.
“Laney… I’m sorry- I- I had to come.” Hector had on a clean black t-shirt with a button up plaid shirt thrown over top. It hung open. His jeans were fresh and clean, if worn. His boots were the same black ones he always wore, faded and scuffed. Somehow though, he looked different. Maybe it was his eyes. Maybe it was that his jawline wasn’t set so hard.
It’s definitely his eyes. They seemed… she didn’t know. They were just different. There was some kind of light inside, coming from deep down that she hadn’t seen before. “Why? What are you doing here? I thought- how did you- how did you even know where I worked?”
“You gave me your business card the first time you came out to the farm.”
“Oh. Right.” She turned around, blushing.
“We’ll give you a minute,” Rayvn said tactfully.
“Actually, no, as long as it takes,” Charlotte added. “But go to the back. That way there won’t be customers interrupting you.”
“Right.” Laney hesitated for a second before she turned and led the way. Hector followed close behind her, right past her astounded friends. She felt like she had the same dazed expression on her face.
She stopped in the back by a dresser she’d been working on a few days before. She knew Rayvn and Charlotte wouldn’t hear them talking. Not that it mattered. She was okay with them hearing whatever it was she had to say. She just wasn’t sure about Hector. She wasn’t sure why he was even there.
She turned to face him and waited. He seemed like he was trying to find the right words. She didn’t rush him. The silence wasn’t welcoming or oppressive. It was just there.
“I- I have something to tell you. You’re not going to believe it. I barely did.”
“Try me. Chances are it’s not worse than you selling the farm and moving away to a job you never told me about.”
Hector winced and Laney was sorry she’d said anything. She stared back at him, contritely, hoping he could tell that she felt bad.
“I opened up that box of letters. Finally. I didn’t do it before.”
“I know. You would have told me if you had.”
“I just couldn’t.”
“I know. Hector, it’s okay.” The look on his face was so frightening, she had to step forward and take his hand. He didn’t pull it away. It was cold. She couldn’t remember it ever being anything but warm.
“Some of them were old. Some of them were newer. They dated from over twenty years ago to up to five years ago.”
“What?” So, they weren’t your parent’s letters then. And those weren’t their rings.” She was actually more than a little disappointed. She’d hoped, for Hector’s sake, that he’d have something of the parents he never knew.
“No, they were.”
“Okay… what?” Laney grabbed for the edge of the dresser. She felt like her legs were going to give out on her.
“My grandma and grandpa lied to me. That’s why they never wanted to talk about them. My dad was their son. I think it genuinely hurt them that they lost him. But they never talked about my mom. Ever. I assumed because it was also too painful. Of course, I did. I didn’t know better.”
“Okay, I’m really confused.” Laney’s head spun.
“She’s alive. My mom is alive. She survived the accident. She had some really bad injuries though. She was in the hospital for a long time. My grandparents took care of me. She got hooked on pain pills. She was an addict for over a decade. By the time she cleaned herself up and got back on track, got a job and a place to live, it was too late. There was no way my grandparents were giving up custody. They didn’t trust her, that she’d stay clean and could provide for me. I guess I see where they were coming from. She wrote to me though. She wanted me to know that she was so incredibly sorry. She wanted to get to know me. She wanted to have a relationship, if she could. Any kind of relationship, even if it was a letter or a phone call once a year. She kept sending those letters for eighteen years and then she stopped.”
“That’s- that’s- it’s- insane…” Laney couldn’t think of anything else to say. There really were no words for the shock of what Hector had just told her.
“My grandma was keeping the letters a secret. She didn’t want my mom to have any contact with me. She’d told her that multiple times. They had a restraining order against her so that she couldn’t come to the farm. She didn’t want to risk me seeing her get arrested. I would have been so hurt and confused and my grandparents probably wouldn’t have told me who she was or told me the truth after even if I did. I think they would have made me hate her. I’m not sure. My grandma might have. I don’t think she ever truly got over the fact that my mom chose to be an addict over her own son.”
“But did she really choose that? I mean, it’s not like getting hooked on drugs you try intentionally or at a party or because you feel you need them.”
“It’s semantics, I guess. I just know that my grandma was keeping those letters a secret. She was the one who would go and pick up the mail from the box. My grandpa and I never did it. My mom stopped sending the letters five years ago. If she hadn’t, I might have got one after my grandma died.”
“So, are you going to track her down? Do you think you could try her old address from the most recent letter?”
Hector grinned. He actually smiled and it reached his eyes. It was the first time she’d ever seen it and it was absolutely, incredibly, astoundingly, dazzling.
“That’s the crazy part. I tried that address first. I just went there. It was a little house in Houston. She still lived there.”
“What? Oh my god! Hector! You met your mom.”
“Yeah.” That smile never faded. “Ye
sterday.”
“So… are you- are you not going to leave then? Because you know that she’s here now.”
“Laney- that’s the thing. I made that shit up. There wasn’t an offer on the farm. Well, there wasn’t then. And there is no job.”
“What? Are you serious right now?” She resisted the urge to smack Hector. Hard. God, she wanted to. Right on the upper arm.
“I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry. I panicked. I needed to say something that would hurt you and make you leave.”
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because what we had was good.”
“Uh… that doesn’t make sense. What we had was good? Why would you want to drive me away then?”
“Because you’re exactly right. I am scared. I’m scared of losing this. I thought I’d lost everyone in my life and I just couldn’t handle going through that pain again. And you’re also right when you said that I have this thing about pride. I do want to take care of you. I do want to be the man in the relationship. I want to have a stable life and I don’t. I don’t know what my next move is. Everything is a big question mark and I have nothing to offer.”
“You have yourself. Did you ever stop to consider for one minute that just you might be good enough?”
Hector slowly shook his head. It was heartbreaking and maddening all at once. “No. Not really. You’re smart, Laney. You’re pretty. You’re independent. You’re incredible. I’m definitely punching above my weight here.”
“I hope not. I wouldn’t stand a chance in a boxing match with you.”
Hector actually let out a short burst of laughter. “That’s not at all what I meant.”
“Yeah. I got that. I’m not very intimidating. I’m half your height and less than half your weight. I may have my shit together on the outside, but inside, I’m just as lost and scared as the rest of us. Don’t you remember the night I had my meltdown?”
“Of course.”
“Not that I want you to keep that in mind, but-yeah… god, Hector, just come here. There really isn’t anything to say. If you came here to tell me you made a mistake and you missed me and you want to try again, then I’ll tell you those same things. I did miss you. I do want to try again. If not, then I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. Not everything works out, even if we do have crazy chemistry.”
“I came here to ask you if there was any way you might consider being with me- even though- even though I said all that stupid shit. I was mad and I was hurt and I just reacted. I’m sorry for letting fear dictate what I wanted.”
“And do you want me? Do you want me enough to take a chance? Do you want me enough to stick by me, even when shit gets rough? Because I want you. I want to share that with you. The shitty stuff and the good stuff. Although, I hope there is far more good times than shitty times.”
“I…”
“And I want you to tell me you’re not going to bail on me again over what you think you need to be. I like you Hector, just like you are. I don’t need you to be richer or have a good job or have the farm or not have the farm. I don’t need you to live in a nice house or support me. What I would like is to be able to work together. I would like you to take the job I’m offering because we truly do need help. It’s not a pity or charity offer. I seriously can’t keep up. Charlotte is going to be busy and Rayvn is trying for another baby as well. I can’t keep it together here by myself.”
“Well… actually, I came to tell you that I am going to be homeless soon. I might not have had an offer on the farm the night I tried, like a dumb ass, to break up with you, but I got one this morning. Above asking price. I guess they’re serious. I accepted.”
“What? Oh, Hector, I’m sorry…”
He shook his head. “No, you know what? I decided that the farm holds a lot of good memories for me, but it’s time to move on. I don’t need to be out there to be happy. My grandparents wouldn’t have wanted me to keep it for the sake of keeping it. My grandpa actually knew it wasn’t feasible. He would have wanted me to go and find something that I could make a living at and be happy at. And now I have my mom. I have a chance to get to know her and I’m not going to let that slide by. I feel like selling the farm is going to give me a fresh start. So I’m here to ask you if you’ll still consider giving a guy with a thick skull and no experience a job. And if you’ll give me another chance.”
“And what about a place to live? Where are you going to go?”
Hector shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about that.”
“Well, it might be lucky for you that I’ve been thinking about getting a different place. Mine is so small. I bought it years ago, but I can afford something bigger now. Maybe we could get something with a few rooms, or a basement. We could still have our own space, and be close. Or if not, that’s alright. I could ask around and we could find you something. I’m sure there are apartments or rooms to rent in people’s houses.”
“You think you could handle living with me? My grandma was always complaining about this or that. Mostly that I left my boots on all the time and tracked mud all over the house. Or that I ate too much. Or that the stains in my clothes were too hard to get out.”
“You do leave your boots on all the time,” Laney admitted. “And you do eat a lot. But as long as you do your own laundry though… maybe I can handle you.”
“You don’t think we’ll go crazy? Working together and living together?”
“I guess the only thing we can do is try. Try until we either succeed or don’t.”
“What if we wind up hating each other?”
“Then we hate each other, I guess.” Laney swallowed hard. “But I know I’ll never hate you, Hector. Never.”
“I’ve been thinking…” Hector smiled slowly, that genuine, amazing smile that was reflected in his eyes. “I’ve been thinking that maybe you were right. About the fate thing. You found the letters. You helped me find my mom before it was too late. I never would have found her otherwise.”
“You might have.”
“Chances were slim. She’d pretty much given up. She thought I got the letters and didn’t want anything to do with her. She could only try for so many decades before she thought she stop harassing me.”
“Your poor mom. I really want to meet her. You have no idea how much.”
“I think I do. You’re a good person, Laney. The best I’ve ever met. Which scares me. Because I don’t want to screw you up. I don’t want to screw any of this up.”
“You won’t.” Laney stepped forward as Hector opened up his arms. She melted against him and let him hold her tight.
“How do you know?” Hector asked against her hair.
“I just do.” She raised her head and stared into the dark eyes of the man she’d known from the first minute was different. She just somehow knew that he’d change her life. And then there were the letters and everything else… “Now,” she smiled up at him. “Are you going to kiss me or what?”
“Oh, I’m going to kiss you alright. I’m going to kiss you until you can’t breathe and those friends of yours come to the back to see if you’re even still alive.”
Laney raised her head. She closed her eyes and waited. And when Hector kissed her, it was perfect. Perfect like it was the first time and every time after. Perfect like she just knew it would always be.
EPILOGUE
Hector
Finding out his mom was alive had obviously been the shock of a lifetime. Seeing her hold her first grandchild was something he never thought he’d get a chance to witness.
“He’s beautiful,” Emmaline whispered.
She never took her eyes away from Liam’s little face. Even after two days at the hospital, his skin was still a little red and puffy. He was flaky in some spots, from being overdue. Two weeks overdue. When he finally decided to make his entrance into the world, he decided it in a rush. They’d barely made it to the hospital and half an hour later, he was born.
“It came really close,” Hector admitted.
>
“What did?” His mom looked at him then, a radiant smile on her face. Her features were harder, the struggles of her past life evident, but she was still beautiful. She was beautiful because she was his mom and he loved her.
“The birth came really close to happening in the backseat of the SUV. It’s a good thing that traffic was light at three in the morning.”
“Oh my goodness. He was in a hurry to see the world.”
“Telling tales?” Laney appeared in the entrance to the living room. She walked carefully, slowly, with measured steps. Hector stood immediately, but she waved him back down with a smile. “Don’t worry. Even though it hurts to walk, I’ll make it.”
She came to sit beside him but didn’t really sit. She kind of just perched on the edge of the couch. Hector winced. He set his hand on the small of Laney’s back and didn’t remove it.
“Enjoy him,” he told his mom. “I don’t think we’re going to have any more.”
“Everyone says that after they give birth,” Emmaline laughed.
“Seriously,” Laney groaned. “It was a rough nine months. The birth was honestly the easy part. Probably the healing too, even though it hurts like crazy right now.”
“I know.” Emmaline looked at Laney with compassion. “I felt for you. Being sick for the entire pregnancy is a rough way to do it. There are other options though.”
“Which we will definitely consider,” Hector laughed. “But for now, enjoy your two-day old grandson before going and planning the rest of them.”
Laney grinned at him. Even though she was tired and sore, she was still incredible. She was right. She did look better immediately after giving birth than she had the entire pregnancy. He’d done what he could to help her through it, but ultimately, other than doing the housework and doing what he could at the shop for her, there wasn’t much he could do. She’d hardly gained any weight other than what Liam himself weighed. He knew that she was serious when she said she couldn’t go through it again and he didn’t blame her. Watching his wife, the one person he loved more than anyone else in the world, suffer like that had nearly killed him.
