I teleport us to the top of the highest tower. I don’t think I need to be outside, or all the way up here, but it makes me feel a little more confident about what I’m about to try.
“Want to explain what we’re doing here?” Crispin asks, walking to the edge of the tower and looking down. It’s still dark, but a thin slice of dawn is appearing on the horizon behind him. Soon, the sun will rise and a new day will begin.
“I need to feel the balance,” I say quietly, hoping that it doesn’t sound too silly. “Both my mother and Blaze mention it, and Beira said that I could somehow feel it. I need to know how bad things are.”
He nods. “How can I help?”
“Keep watch. I don’t want to be surprised by overenthusiastic guards or assassins.”
Crispin chuckles. “Are you putting guards and assassins in the same category now?”
“They’re both annoying.” I shrug. “Spoken like a true Princess, ey?”
He laughs. “Indeed. Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone disturb you.”
“Thanks. And if I start muttering prophecies like Blaze, please ignore them. I’ve had enough cryptic advice for one day.”
He laughs again, his aura turning a beautiful gold. In another life, I’d hug and kiss him right now, but I’m not that Wyn anymore. I can’t be.
I sit down on the cold marble and cross my legs. Maybe I should start chanting om to make this even more ridiculous? I have no idea what I’m doing.
My mother’s voice echoes through my mind. Without balance, all Realms will crumble. I can already feel it happening. Focus, and you'll feel it too.
I close my eyes and take a few deep, slow breaths. I've never been good at sitting still. As soon as I do, I think of something that needs doing, or of something I really want to do. But this is important. Focus, Wyn. Focus.
I concentrate on my breath without actually changing it. In, out. In, out. The air flows into me, and then out again, connecting me to the world outside. I can hear Crispin behind me, breathing the same air. Everyone in this Palace is breathing in and out, everyone, everywhere. I feel connected to them through this simple, essential motion.
In and out. It's a balance that cannot be disturbed. We need to breathe the air in as much as we need to breathe it back out. It's a constant cycle, as steady as the seasons. There cannot be summer without winter.
Slowly, my awareness widens and I feel the magic around me in a different way. It's pulsing, moving in patterns that I hadn't recognised before. Swirls, knots and parallel lines. There's a message in the patterns, a simple warning that reverberates throughout everybody's lifeforce.
Preserve.
The magic is only a small part of a bigger picture though. I expand my senses further until I reach the underlying forces that feed the magic. Life and death. Yet another balance, but this one is tainted. It's hurting and wanting me to help it, but I don't know how. There's more death than life, and it's changing rapidly. With the upcoming battle, this imbalance is only going to get worse. We need more life so that the balance is restored, but how's that supposed to be achieved? I can't just tell everyone to get more babies? No, we need to do it the other way round. Prevent more deaths.
I float further away, towards the circle of seasons. They're based on life and death, and yet they are so much more. Winter isn't just death, it's also renewal, preservation, recovery. Summer is life and decay, beauty and droughts. Then there's autumn and spring, times of change and transition. Again, there's death and life in both of them. Only when all four are put together can life thrive. I'd never seen it so clearly, but now I know deep in my heart what others have been trying to tell me. Winter needs to be strong to match the power of the summer. It's not a matter of weakening summer, no, that would go against the balance. It's about putting all of them on equal footing.
I let myself fall into the magic, soaking up the feeling of anguish that's streaming from the imbalance. Cracks are already appearing in the fabric of life, and I know that if nothing is done, magic will start to be drawn out of the tears into nothingness. We'll be left powerless, all of us, no matter which Realm we live in. There won't be magic, and without magic, there's no life and death. Images flash into my mind. Babies crying, blood dripping from never-closing wounds, lovers torn apart. Forests burning, lakes drying up, harvests too small to feed families. The world is hurting and nobody is doing anything about it. In contrary, we’re making it worse.
Help is needed, and help will come. "I'll make this right," I promise. "The balance will be restored."
A feeling of gratefulness spreads within me, and I know it isn’t my own emotion. More images are thrown into my mind, but these are different. They’re hope.
I open my eyes and close them again right away, blinded by the sun. How is there so much daylight already?
“Are you awake again?” Crispin asks sleepily. He’s sat against the battlement, watching me.
“How long was I… away?”
“Must have been at least three hours. Your breathing became really slow, I was worried for a bit. It was like you went into a coma, but then you stabilised.”
I swallow hard. Three hours. “We better get back, I’m sure the others are missing us already.”
“The sunrise was beautiful,” Crispin says softly, his aura turning a little blue in the centre. “I wonder how many more of them we’ll be able to see.”
I get up and walk over to him, holding out a hand. “An eternity. We won’t let ourselves be defeated, and we’ll send the Morrigan back into the dark hole she crawled out of. This isn’t the end, Crispy. It’s only the beginning of our life together.”
He looks up at me and for a moment, I get to see his eyes, a flash of emotion that makes me stumble. Then his aura covers his face again and I’m left breathing hard at the adoration I saw in his gaze.
“I love it when you call me Crispy,” he chuckles. “But don’t tell the others that.”
I laugh. “I’ll take it to the grave. No, let me rephrase that. I’ll keep it a secret for eternity.”
"You better. I don't think my enemies will cower in fear when they hear that you call me Crispy."
"Do they actually cower in fear?"
He shrugs. "You never know. Those clones might actually help in getting me a fearsome reputation." His aura darkens a little. "Again."
To distract him, I grip his hands and pull him up, using a bit of magic to give me enough strength. He's the least bulky of the four of them, but that doesn't mean he's small. Or light. "We should return to the others. Crispy."
"I know." He sighs. "I wish we could just stay up here and enjoy the sunshine together."
"After all this is over, I'm going to take a month off and spend it with all of you," I promise. "The Realm will just have to look after itself."
The darkness in his aura disappears. "We could travel the Realms," he says full of enthusiasm. "I could show you some amazing places."
"It's good to have something to look forward to. We'll get there, eventually. Only one idiot God and one evil bitch to defeat. How hard could that be."
Of course, nobody has seen fake Crispin and Flora. It would have surprised me; the Morrigan is far too clever for that. They're probably in her Realm by now, the Spring Goddess a prisoner or worse.
"We need to bring her back," Gwain says gravely, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword. "We failed in protecting her."
He and Tamara are standing in front of my desk, both looking grim and exhausted.
"We did, but we can't bring her back." I lift a hand when they start to protest. "I've seen what's at stake. Now that we have Autumn on our side - that's the Dragon Goddess, Gwain, I'll explain later - Angus needs to have Spring. The balance is already disturbed enough, and we can't injure it any further."
"But she's our ally!" Gwain protests. "We promised her she'd be safe."
I nod sadly. "Yes, we did. I did, and it's my responsibility. Believe me, I feel just as bad about this as you do, if not worse. A lot worse." I get up from
my chair and look them straight in the eyes - not that I can actually see them, but I hope they don't notice that.
"I know what I need to do to restore peace, starting with my coronation."
Tamara can't stifle a small gasp. "You've changed your mind? How?"
"I've seen what happens if I don't do it," I say, trying to keep the bitterness from my voice. "I still don't agree with it, but I know that I have to do it. I have to become Queen."
Gwain bows deeply. "Your Majesty."
"Not quite yet." I shake my head. "But I will have to be, soon. Tamara, I know you've been itching to organise the coronation. I assume you've already taken preparations without my knowledge?"
"Of course I have. I knew you'd change your mind."
She's not in the slightest apologetic, but I don't care. I like her for her enthusiasm and passion for what she believes.
"It needs to be soon. How long do you need?"
She thinks for a moment. "I can have the preparations done by tomorrow evening, but it might not be enough time to get invitations out to everyone. I'd suggest the day after tomorrow, that should give our allies the chance to attend. We really want them here for it to see your power and see the reason why they want to continue to be allied with our Realm."
That's later than I had hoped, but I get her reasoning. In this place, it's all about appearances, and this will be a prime occasion to get all our allies together. I might even be able to combine this with some battle preparation meetings. Multi-tasking, that's what I'm good at.
"Take whatever resources you need. The treasury is all yours, but please keep the dress simple." I shudder at the thought of yet another dress monstrosity I might be forced to wear.
Tamara chuckles. "Don't worry, it'll be spectacular."
That's exactly what I'm worried about. For her, spectacular means diamonds and a lot of unnecessary fabric. Or no fabric in all the important places. Neither is a very appealing prospect, but even I understand that I can't get crowned the Winter Queen in a t-shirt and jeans.
Gwain still doesn't look happy with the situation. "Flora is still alive and unharmed," I tell him reassuringly. "I can feel it and I think that once I'm crowned, I'll be able to talk to her."
"What? How?" he asks in confusion.
"Until now, the balance was kept by Summer and Winter, but now that Autumn has appeared, Spring has a bigger role to play. I believe that once all four of us are in position, things are going to start moving. The game hasn't begun yet, and I'm sure the Morrigan is aware of that. She's waiting for the final player to take her place. Well, I'm not going to disappoint her. I now know things she doesn't."
I smile, unwilling to tell them anymore. The fewer people know, the better.
"I better go and tell my men that they're going to be Royal consorts soon."
Chapter Nine
My father is fast asleep and my mother is too weak to even respond, which means that neither of my remaining parents can give me some sympathy for my impending coronation. I'm drowning in self-pity and I need an outlet for that.
The guys will probably try and be comforting, but they've all tried to persuade me to become Queen since the issue was first raised. Same with Tamara. Who else do I have to talk to? Ada perhaps? No, I should leave her to recover and spend some time with her men. That leaves only one person... ehm... unicorn.
I focus on my magic and let her run free. She purrs in happiness, jumping all around me, making the books on the shelves around me shake. I've not had the chance to use proper magic recently. Teleporting is different, and the bit of wind magic I did in the Dragon Realm didn't even dent the surface of my powers. Find Blaze, I tell her, confident that my magic will find a being more magical than anything else in the Palace. I mean, the unicorn eats magic. It doesn't get more extreme than that.
She runs away and the further she goes, the more my awareness increases. I can hear people talk several corridors away, I can smell the sweat of some soldiers training outside, and I feel the breeze in the courtyard where Blaze is currently snoozing. Wow. I need to do this more often. If I wanted, I could probably eavesdrop on people on the other side of the Palace. No wonder my mother always knows everything.
My magic gallops around Blaze and I zone in on her energy, teleporting to her location a second later. Life is so easy when you're powerful. Too easy. I'm starting to be worried that I might become complacent soon.
"Hi Blaze," I greet the unicorn who's lying beneath a snow-covered tree. He lazily opens one eye.
"Good morning, my lady. Are you here for sparklies?" He grins widely and I smile at him.
"Nope, never again. Storm would kill me if I took any. I assume you haven't heard the way I behaved after your little incident yesterday?"
He flutters his eyelashes at me. "Not a word. Although you should know, unicorn babies are born without horns."
"Blaze!"
He cackles. "Don't worry, Princess, my lips are sealed. But if you're ever interested in how unicorn foals are made, you know where to find me."
"Are you propositioning me?" I ask, stunned.
"No, I'm offering you a science lesson. I'm not into humanoids."
"Thank the Gods."
He grins and gets up on all fours, shaking his shimmering mane.
"Now, why have you come, if not to get sparklies and talk about foals?"
I take a deep breath, before blurting out, "I'm becoming Queen."
He doesn't react surprised at all. "Was there ever any question about that?"
"Yes! My mother is still alive and usually, one Queen has to die before another is crowned."
"Technicalities," he says dismissively. "You've got the makings of a great Queen, and that's what counts."
"Thanks, I think," I mutter, a bit disappointed that I won't be able to get any commiseration from him either. I wish my mum was here. I could do with a hug and some whispered words of confidence and comfort. But no, the Morrigan has taken her away from me. I'll never be able to snuggle against her again. She'll never be able to hold me ever, ever again. The gravity of it all slams down on my heart. I've grieved, but there is still so much sadness deep within me. It hurts.
"Sparklies?" Blaze whispers, but I glare at him and step away.
"Don't tempt me. Please, don't."
He nods. "Sorry, bad joke. Do you want to talk? Is that what humans do?"
"I guess they do, but there's not much to talk about. My mum's dead, my mother is so weak she couldn't even talk to me today, and my dad is traumatised. Everybody wants me to be Queen, but all I want is time to deal with what's happened and spend time with my men. I just want some peace and quiet, Blaze."
He's quiet for a moment, watching me through his dark, beautiful eyes. Then he says, "Touch my horn, Princess."
"No way!" I protest. I have no intentions of blubbering nonsense about baby unicorns again, or worse.
"It's not for sparklies," he explains. "I want to give you that moment of peace that you're craving. No side effects, I promise, and there won't be any time passing here while you're gone. Special unicorn magic."
He gives me a wink. Do I trust him? Well, that's the wrong question. I trust him to be on my side and not to kill me. Do I trust him not to mess with my head and turn me into a lunatic for his own amusement? I'm not so sure about that.
"I promise," he repeats. "It's nothing bad. You helped me, now this is me helping you in return."
"No sparklies?" I ask one last time and he shakes his head with a smile.
"Definitely no sparklies."
"Okay then... but if you're lying about this, I'm going to make you a very, very dead unicorn. I'm sure a unicorn pelt would look lovely on my office floor."
He winces. "I'm about to retract my offer."
Before he can do that, I touch his horn and am whisked away from the courtyard and through the magnificent light of a sparkling rainbow.
I know this place. There’s no mistaking the familiar rock formation on the pristine white beach. I�
�ve been here many times on family holidays. Barra, one of the islands of the Outer Hebrides, an island where the plane lands on the beach. I used to love that as a child. Oh, who am I kidding, I loved it as an adult too. That moment when the plane wheels hit the ground and sand is thrown into the air, hiding the tiny little airport from view. We got stranded there twice because the plane couldn’t take off due to high winds. It’s a beautiful place, but why am I here?
"To relax!"
Blaze's booming voice is all around me, reverberating through my bones.
Okay then. He wants me to relax.
"How long do I have?" I shout, not knowing whether he'll be able to hear me.
"As long as you want. Time doesn't flow in this place, so don't feel like you're missing out on things. Just relax and shout when you want to return."
"Ehm, Blaze?"
"Yes, Princess?"
"Can you see me here?"
He cackles. "No, you're in your own head, silly. I'm just supplying the magic to make it feel real."
Phew. That means I can undress and go for a swim. I don't want the unicorn to see me naked. I know he's not even human and is not interested, but still, I prefer my privacy.
I take off my shoes and roll up my trousers before heading towards the sea. Scotland isn't exactly known for its warm weather and I want to test the temperature first.
The water is warm, bathtub kind of warm. Warmer than a heated swimming pool. Okay, this isn't real, this isn't Scotland. This is paradise.
I strip and run into the water, the sand soft beneath the soles of my feet. The waves lap against my naked body like a gentle massage. This is heavenly.
When the water reaches my neck, I stop, looking out over the water. The sun is high over the horizon, its light reflecting on the waves, throwing patterns of brightness onto my skin. In real life, I'd start to worry about sunburn now, but this isn't real. This is a dream, a beautiful fantasy that I'm going to take full advantage of.
I smile and start to swim, daring the waves to carry me back to the beach.
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