I swallow hard. Don't cry, Wyn. Don't cry, not after all the beautiful things he said.
"I love you," he adds and the floodgates open. I rest my head on his shoulder as I cry and cry, my tears soaking his shirt.
I know this is the last time I'm getting this emotional. The last chance to get rid of all the pent up sadness in me. It's not the deep sadness, that one will have to stay stashed away for a while, just the sadness of what's about to happen. People will die. This isn't a game, this is war. I don't think I'd ever be completely ready for that, but Frost's words have hardened my resolve. There's nobody else who can do this. I'm the Winter Goddess, the Queen of this Realm, and I'm going to lead my people to victory.
While I was unconscious, some of the visiting dragon shifters taught our strongest mages how to create a temporary Gate. I'm glad since this means I don't have to teleport everyone and can conserve my strength.
All eleven of them are standing before me in a courtyard that I've surrounded with the yellow magic that makes it impossible for anyone to listen in. My Guardians are behind me, giving me strength.
Until now, I’ve stayed in the shadows, not wanting anyone to know that I’m awake. Only the Council and my Guardians knew before this moment, but it’s time to show myself to the people who will be fighting and dying for the Realm.
"Are you all confident you'll be able to create a Gate and keep it open for long enough to let one battalion through?"
They all salute as an answer. I didn't know much about how the military works before, but my mother's knowledge is filling the blanks. Thanks to her, I now have all the statistics of how many soldiers we have, how many Guardians specialise in specific kinds of magic, how many weapons we have at our disposal. There are poison flasks that can be thrown, magical grenades and bombs that can make everyone freeze. At first, it looks like we're unbeatable with all these resources, but I'm aware that the Morrigan will likely have the same. Plus, she has the higher numbers. Her demons might not all be as well trained and as powerful, but they make it up with how many they are. Nobody knows for sure, but demons are known for spawning at high rates during times of war. I don't want to think about how exactly they do that. Let's hope it's cloning or something like that, not sex and baby demons.
"Good. Storm will assign each of you an officer to report to. No matter what happens, you stay with that officer and follow their commands. Once everyone is in place, your officer will be told your destination. You'll then open a Gate and make sure everyone gets there safely, before closing it again. I don't want any enemies using our Gates to enter the Palace. Understood?"
"Yes, Your Majesty!" they shout as one. Their auras are full of hope and confidence. They really believe that we're going to win this. Well, we are. I have the same confidence in my heart.
"There may be strategies that you're not aware of. If your officer asks you to bring everyone to a new location, you do that without question. Everything relies on you eleven and while you should feel that responsibility, I want you to be proud of your role."
Their auras brighten even more.
"Be ready, the signal to leave could come at any time. Don't get distracted and defend this Realm!"
I shout the last few words and a chorus of cheers responds.
"Good work," Storm whispers from behind me, before walking towards the mages and handing each of them a note with the name of their commanding officers. They don't know it yet that we're not just defending the Realm. We're also attacking another one.
Being the ones to throw the first stone leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but it's what will give us the best chances of success. I know the Morrigan and I'm sure she won't expect us making this move. She doesn't see us as equals. She's a clever Goddess, but her superiority will be her downfall.
I go through my checklist in my head. The Council has been briefed. I’ve said goodbye to my father. The mages know what to do. Our forces are ready to be transported to their designated attack points. Now all I need to do is tell our allies. The Council have reassured me that all our allied Gods have their forces ready, so all they need is the time and place of where I want them to join my own army. This isn't my plan, it's what Storm and Gwain have been working on, but it needs to look like it's all me. People trust in me, their Goddess, the woman who survived an explosion that killed the old Winter Queen.
I turn to my remaining Guardians while Storm is still talking to the mages.
"Do you think we're ready?"
"Aye. Time to kick that bitch off her throne." Arc's voice is full of passion and anger. Good, that will help him in the battle.
"Yes, all the healers are standing by. Theodore will supervise them."
There was no persuading Crispin to stay with the healers and off the battlefield. He won't leave my side, and to be honest, I'm grateful to have all four men with me. I might have all these shiny new powers, but that doesn't mean I'm not afraid. Terrified, actually.
"We can do this," Frost says confidently. "I told you already and I will tell you as often as you need to hear it."
Storm joins us. "Are we doing a pep talk?"
I grimace. "No, a make-Wyn-feel-like-she's-ready-talk."
"Same thing." He grows serious. "Everyone's in position. All you need to do is contact the other Gods."
I nod. "Not here though. Hold my hand."
They do as I ask, already used to the procedure, and I teleport us onto the top of the highest tower. I like it up there. I feel like I'm away from the Palace and yet still part of it. It's freeing.
I sit down in the centre of the circular platform and focus on my magic. I know my Guardians will keep watch while I do the whole mind thing. I know that I can do it and I have my mother's memories, but it still takes me several tries until I connect with Dewi's mind.
Even though she knows I'm going to be doing this, she still shrieks in surprise. I hope it was just a mental shriek and not a physical one. I don't want her to be embarrassed.
"Everyone's ready," I tell her without further ado. "I'm going to try and send you an image of the map and your position, let me know if you get it."
I call up the map from my mind, the one Storm has shown me, complete with little flags to symbolise the places our allies are supposed to use to enter the Demon Realm. My mother is... was one of the few people who ever visited that Realm, so I had to make a few changes to the map Gwain had procured. It was like one of those old maps of Britain where the coastline is all wrong, but you can still make out the basic shape. That's what the Demon Realm map looked like. It's correct now though, thanks to my mother's memories. If I had the time, I'd get a little panicked about how her knowledge is seeping into mine, changing it, but no, I need to focus. No time to get hysterical because I feel my own self merging with a dead Goddess's consciousness.
Definitely no panicking.
I push the map towards Dewi, trying not to be too fast. I have no idea if this is going to work and melting her mind is not on my agenda. She's strong, but I'm a lot more powerful. That's not boasting, that's just a fact.
"Got it," she says much quicker than I'd expected. "Which colour am I?"
"Brown. I'm going to do the rounds and let all others know, but try and be there in two hours. I'm going to leave a tiny connection open so when you feel that activating, it's time to attack."
I can feel her assent and return to my body.
My Guardians are looking at me curiously. I smile at them.
"One down, another twenty or so to go. Could someone get me some tea?"
By the time I've contacted every single God, I'm exhausted. Not physically, not my magic, but mentally. It's like I've been at a long, drawn-out party where I had to talk to every single guest. I've done far too much socialising today. Luckily, the next people I meet are probably going to be demons that I can kill. Hurray.
I teleport us back into the Council chambers, where everyone is waiting. Gwain and Ada are dressed for battle, his armour dented in several places. I'm sure it
could easily be repaired, but he might see it as a source of pride, a memory of all the wars he's won and survived.
Theodore is wearing a strange robe with dozens of pockets over his black clothes, as well as a belt full of tiny flasks.
Anthony, our new treasurer, looks a little pale, but he's wearing armour as well, just like Algonquin and Zephyr. Those two seem far too old to fight, but I remind myself that they are Guardians, immortal and likely a lot stronger than they look.
The only one who's not going to join me in the Demon Realm is Tamara who's going to oversee things from here, together with several Guardians who can communicate with their minds. They're our back up plan, in case I'm prevented from coordinating our allies myself.
"Is everyone ready?" I ask, not even bothering to sit down.
"We are, my Queen," Gwain replies formally. "The troops are ready to take their positions. All we need is your signal."
I take a deep breath. This is the moment everything will be decided. I might be sending everyone to their deaths. If this doesn't work out, the Morrigan is going to take the Winter Realm and many others and turn them into her own private hell. The balance will fail, magic will cease to exist, life will suffer.
No, this cannot happen. We need to be victorious, we will be.
"Spread the word," I tell the Council. "Let's show the Morrigan that we're not as weak as she thinks we are. Let's make her pay for what she's done."
Chapter Seventeen
Seeing everyone run through the Gates, armour glinting, weapons blazing, is exhilarating. I wait for a moment to make sure that everything is going as planned, then I turn to my four Guardians.
"Frost, tell me one last time," I ask, a sudden wave of fear spreading through me.
"I believe in you," he says simply, as if that's not one of the most precious things he's ever said to me. "You will be magnificent."
His aura pulses with pride and love as he steps forward and takes me into his arms. Once again, the armour is in the way, but his lips find mine nonetheless. I kiss him passionately, trying to keep the terrible thought at bay that's seeping into my mind. What if this is the last time I ever kiss him? What if I'll never see any of them?
I breathe in his scent, committing it to memory. My Frost.
Even after we break the kiss, I stay in his arms.
"Tonight, we'll take this further," he promises and I can hear the smile in his voice.
"My turn," Arc interrupts and pulls me away from Frost and into a rough hug. He's wearing a kilt above his metal armour as if he cannot let go of the Scottishness he was created with.
He lowers his head and kisses me hard, his lips much more demanding than Frost's. I lean into the kiss, tasting my Guardian, hoping desperately that this isn't an end, just one of many more kisses, millions of kisses in our immortal life together.
This time it’s Storm who pulls me into his arms. He doesn't kiss me, he just looks at me, except that I can't see his face. It's strange, knowing he's able to look into my eyes but I am not. It's like I'm blind and yet not quite.
I don't know what he sees in my eyes, but after a minute or so, his aura changes colour, turning a fiery, passionate red.
"Be safe," he mutters and gives me the gentlest kiss ever, just a quick touch of his lips on mine, then he's gone and Crispin takes his place. Sweet, broken Crispin. I'm doing this for him, for my mum, my mother, the dragons and for everyone who's suffered at the hands of the Morrigan.
"She's going to be sorry she ever hurt you," I whisper and kiss him, showing him how much I mean it. He responds in kind, his tongue nudging mine, our bond sizzling into life, warming my heart. I can feel the connection to my guys, stronger than ever. They're here for me and I will protect them at all costs. They're mine and the Morrigan isn't getting them. She's not getting anyone. She'll be dead.
I stretch out my arms while Crispin is still holding me, and the other three men take them.
"Ready?" I ask quietly and feel their assent filtering through our bond. "Then let's kill a Goddess."
While most of our allies are starting the battle on the borders of the Demon Realm, working their way inwards, herding the demons like cattle, the guys and I teleport right into the centre. The Realm is made up of thirteen Zones, all named after jewels. Twelve of them surround the Onyx Zone like spikes on a wheel. If I know the Morrigan at all, this is where she will be, like the spider in the centre of the web.
I wasn't quite sure where best to teleport us to, so I've chosen a spot just outside the castle walls, a place I've seen in my mother's memories. In reality, the castle is much scarier though. Its ragged towers are formed like spears, reaching high into the blood red sky as if they want to pierce and destroy it. The walls are made from polished black stone; onyx, I assume. There are no windows at all, not even arrow slits. It's a strange, threatening structure that sends a clear message: get out. Well, we won't, we have a job to do.
"I'll check for demons," I tell my Guardians and extend my magic, pushing it into the air around us until it scatters and moves into all directions.
"At least ten by the main gate and hundreds within the castle. Four, no, five Gods inside. Not the Morrigan, though."
Disappointment makes my heart beat faster. She was supposed to be here. Luckily, our plan has prepared for that eventuality.
"I think it's time to give the signal."
I look at my Guardians, at their auras. All of them are exuding confidence. Seems like we've reached the point of no return.
"Keep watch while I do this."
Crispin chuckles. "I love it when she goes all dominant."
"Hey!" I playfully shove him and he laughs even more when our armour vibrates at the impact.
"Quiet," Storm warns. "We're in enemy territory now, don't be too cocky."
Annoyingly, that makes me think of the guys' body parts that I've been craving, but no, this isn't the time for my hormones to get all excited. First, we kill some demons, then we can relax and have some much-needed fun.
I close my eyes and focus on the thin, weak connections I still have with all the Gods that will be fighting on our side. If we're lucky, they're all in position already, or will be there shortly.
I pull on the connections like I usually do with my Guardians' bond, hoping desperately that this will work. There was no time to practice.
Small echoes flow back along the connections, hopefully the sign that they've received the signal and will start the assault.
I follow one of them and reach Thor. The God of Thunder immediately responds to my probing.
"There are no demons where we entered, but we're flying inland now," he reports and sends me an image of thousands of winged Guardians flying over a barren, charred landscape. The red light of the sky is reflected by their glowing wings, giving them an ethereal appearance. It's a beautiful sight. An army of angels, taking revenge on the leader of demons.
"Good. The Morrigan isn't in the Onyx castle, so if you spot her, send me a message."
I pull back and open my eyes again.
"The battle has begun," I announce, feeling very weird about saying that. It's such a grave, dramatic statement that sounds more like from a film than reality. This is really happening. Doubt creeps through my mind again, but I push it away. My Guardians believe in me, the other Gods trust me, now I just need to believe in myself.
"Do you think the Morrigan could be wherever Flora is being held?" Crispin suddenly asks.
"It would make sense," Storm agrees. "We still don't know why she took Flora, so if she needs the Spring Goddess for something, surely she'd stick close to her?"
I swallow hard. I have a bad feeling about this.
I connect with my spread out magic again to check if one of the Gods in the castle is Flora, but of course, we aren't that lucky. However, now that we're in the Demon Realm, I might be able to sense her, if she's not too far away.
Before I can try that, my magic alerts me to movement inside the castle.
"The
y must have been alerted to the attacks," I tell the Guardians. "Demons are moving in the castle and so are the Gods."
A moment later, we hear the large castle gate open and a cacophony of shouts and shrieks fills the air. The demons are leaving their fortress to go into battle.
"Two of the Gods have disappeared, they must be able to teleport. One of them is moving fast, out of the gate, and... he's coming here!"
Immediately, my Guardians jump into action, surrounding me protectively. It's a sweet gesture, but I don't need their protection.
The God running towards us doesn't feel familiar. He's not one we've hosted at the Palace before. Wait, not he. She.
"That's Nyx!" Frost hisses. "The Goddess of Night. I didn't know she was still alive, I hadn't heard of her for decades."
"She must have been hiding out in the shadows with the Morrigan," Crispin mutters. "I met her when I was still... her prisoner. Let's try and make this quick, she's devious and likes to play with her prey."
I feel sick at that thought. People taking pleasure in the suffering of others are the worst, whether they're humans, Guardians or Gods.
The Goddess is almost upon us and I create an invisible barrier just in front of her. When she runs against it and crashes to the ground, I have to suppress a laugh.
She'd be beautiful with her glowing dark skin and her long black hair, if the corners of her mouth weren't downturned in a sour expression and her brows weren't drawn together in a scowl. She's cursing in an unknown language, but it's clear she's not exactly saying nice things to me.
She jumps up and dark fog starts to swirl around her outstretched arms.
"Nightmare magic," Crispin explains from behind me. "Don't let it touch you."
"I have no intention of doing so."
I make the barrier visible as an icy sphere surrounding us. I've learned my lesson and made sure that the protection extends to above and below us. There's no way for her magic to enter our safe space. Now that the defence is sorted, let's start the offence. I decide on water and ice magic, my mother's elements. This is in her honour. Unbeknownst to Nyx, I conjure ten sharp icicles behind her, pointing at her back. This time, I'm not wanting to start the attack though. I want to give her a chance to surrender. Call me weak, call me naive, but I don't want to turn into a murderer.
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