Razed

by Shiloh Walker

  “A bunch of sexist morons don’t always want girl cooties messing it up,” Keelie said, snorting.

  “Yeah. Kind of like you do with tattoos.” Javi winked at her. “What’s up with that?”

  “Javi, you’re just jealous that some of the girl cooties are smarter than your cooties,” Zach said. His eyes bounced off Keelie’s—that was the same way he’d looked at her for the past two months. Her heart ached a little over it, but she’d done it herself. “Hey, Z.”

  Even as he said it, before she even saw Zane, her skin was prickling.

  Awareness streaked through her as he moved into sight, camera shielding his face. Automatically, she averted hers so that all he caught was the fall of her bangs.

  “You’ve been taking pictures all night,” Abby said. She nodded to the seat behind Keelie. “Why don’t you sit down? Call it quits for the night.”

  “Gotta make sure I get enough pictures.” He continued standing, so close it made her burn. And want. And wish.

  Keelie felt herself growing all the more self-conscious. Her skin heated. She licked her lips, thought she could still taste him there, despite the champagne she’d had.

  “Like you ever don’t get enough pictures,” Zach said, smirking. “Sit. Talk. Interact with the human race, Z.”

  There was a moment of silence, and then she heard a shift behind her as he sat. Her skin started to hum. Oh. Man. This was so not good. Was she going to feel like this every time—

  “What?” She jerked her head up, looking at Aida, who was making a clucking sound.

  “You look beat,” Aida said.

  Travis chose that moment to come around the table and crouch down in front of her. “You’ve been taking the ice off every twenty minutes, right?” As he asked, he lifted the ice pack away, studying the mottled, swollen mess of her ankle.

  “Yes, Doctor Travis,” she said.

  “Smart-ass.” He shook his head. “Everybody’s a smart-ass.”

  “Like you’re one to talk.” Zane’s voice sounded tight. So tight, everybody but Keelie turned their head to look at him. Travis paused, his fingers gentle on Keelie foot and lower leg.

  “You okay there, Z?” Travis asked mildly.

  Zane snorted and in the next moment, he sounded like his normal self, cool, almost remote. “Just pointing out the obvious, Travis. You still like playing doctor with the pretty girls, little brother?”

  “Who doesn’t?” Travis gave Keelie an easy grin. “You were able to put weight on it earlier, right?”

  “Yeah. It just hurt like a mother—” She clamped her mouth shut, glancing over. Trey, Travis’s twin, had his little boy here, but Clayton was out on the dance floor. With the flower girl. As soon as she noticed it, Zane did as well, and he was already moving in to take pictures. She gave Travis a brilliant smile. “Yes. It just hurts.”

  He grunted and bent his head back to what he was doing.

  She bit back a yelp when he pressed down, but he noticed anyway. He gave her a grim look. “You need to get this looked at.”

  “I’ll be fine.” She shrugged and tried to pull her foot away.

  “That’s what you’re thinking now.” He rose and moved back to the seat he’d claimed a few minutes earlier. “What are you going to do when you can’t stand on your feet in three or four days? You’re covering for Zach for the next couple of weeks, remember? Get it looked at before it gets worse.”

  She glared at him. “You’re an accountant, not a doctor.”

  “True.” He smiled at her. “But I’m an accountant who has an interest in many things.”

  “That’s just how he excuses being a nosy bastard,” Trey said. He tipped a water glass at her. “I’m more honest than he is. I’m just a nosy bastard, period.”

  “Honey, you do need to get that looked at,” Aida said, peering at Keelie’s ankle. “That has to be killing you.”

  “It kinda hurts.” She managed a tight smile. “But I’m okay.”

  “No, you’re not. And don’t worry, Travis. I’ll make sure she sees a doctor.” Javi scowled at her when she would have argued. Then he kissed Aida’s temple. “Come on, baby. Let’s get our stuff and get her home.”

  “No—” Keelie started to protest, but they were already up and moving, the two of them a united front she couldn’t possibly argue with. Sighing, she contemplated the issue of getting herself from here to the car.

  “I’ll bring her out,” a soft, steady voice said from behind.

  Her heart dropped out.

  Oh. Hell.

  Her skin started to burn.

  Her mouth went dry.

  Slowly, she turned her head as Zane knelt at her side.

  His gaze locked with hers.

  “You ready?”

  Her composure threatened to shatter.

  No.

  Forcing a smile, she said, “Sure. Doesn’t look like anybody is listening to me anyway.”

  Chapter Two

  Three months later

  “I am not taking dating advice from you two.”

  She honestly couldn’t believe she was going out on this stupid blind date as it was. Part of her kind of wished she was still in the stupid airboot she’d just been able to take off a few weeks ago. She hadn’t planned to take Travis’s advice, but the next morning, her ankle had hurt even worse, so she’d given in, afraid she’d broken something.

  If only.

  Instead of a broken bone, she’d messed up the ligaments in her lower leg. The technical term was a high ankle sprain. She called it hell on earth. Instead of six weeks to heal a broken bone, she’d spent six weeks in an airboot everywhere she went, and another month in it if she was going to be on her feet for any more than a few minutes—which was most of the day for her.

  On the other hand, though, that boot had been a great excuse to get out of things she didn’t want to do anyway. No, Javi . . . I don’t really want to go to the barbecue so Aida can try to fix me up with her brother. I can’t, see . . . it’s too annoying to hobble around and you know I hate to have people waiting on me. No, Ani, I don’t want to hang out at the club with you and hook up with some guy. Besides, I’d spend most of my time at the bar anyway, watching you dance, me and my stupid ankle. You go, okay?

  Anais, one of the newer employees at Steel Ink, had caught Keelie in a moment of weakness. They’d gotten to be good friends and somehow, the cute, quirky blonde had known just when to strike.

  Now Keelie just wished she could find a way out of this. She hadn’t had a date in over a year and she’d be just fine to keep it that way, too. Okay, so maybe she was a little lonely and maybe she did wake up thinking about—

  Stop it. She’d spent the past twelve weeks trying to forget that night existed. That was, in part, why she’d agreed to this stupid blind date. But that didn’t mean she’d take dating advice from Javi and Anais. She’d listen to them on some things, sure. She went over tattoo design ideas with Javi all the time. And she’d let Anais talk her into the hoop she currently had piercing her left nostril.

  But she’d said hell to the no when Anais suggested other piercings and in no way was she listening to dating advice.

  She paused to shoot the two of them a dirty look before turning to study her reflection in the mirror affixed to the wall in her work area. A date. What in the hell had she been thinking?

  Answer?

  You weren’t. She’d just reacted.

  Anais had caught her at a weak moment—she’d had another brain-destroying, bone-melting dream about Zane and she’d been lying in the bed, half dying from the need burning inside her. It had been ten in the morning and, like she had a sixth sense, Anais had called. Dangled this blind date in front of her. He’s great, Keelie, I promise . . . he’s sexy. He’s got a steady job and he’s not a dweeb. Come on. Friday night. Say yes.

  Keelie hadn’t thought.

  She’d just replied.

  She’d just said yes.

  She’d said yes, and judging by the lead weigh
t in her gut, the entire thing was going to be a disaster. It was too late to call it off now, though. She’d feel like a heel if she up and told Anais to call the guy and bail ninety minutes before she was supposed to meet him.

  Brushing her hair back, she gave herself a thorough study and decided she looked fine. She wasn’t out to knock anybody dead, but she looked good. She’d come dressed for the date, and it was a damn good thing; her last appointment had gone way over.

  The girl had shown up thirty minutes late and then proceeded to change her mind four different times . . . I can’t do this tattoo, no, I will, no, I won’t . . . I can’t put it there!

  The entire process should have taken maybe an hour and Keelie should have been done by four, out of there in plenty of time. She might have even worked up the nerve to call Anais and bail if she wasn’t looking at her. But right here? In front of her?

  She couldn’t do it.

  Anais was adamant that this guy was just amazing and he was just about perfect for Keelie. Keelie’s thoughts on that were yeah, right. Then her brain had zoomed in on one man in particular—tall, lean, a serious face, and eyes that you could never really read.

  Except she’d read them . . . once.

  Her mouth went dry even thinking about that one time.

  That one time she didn’t let herself think about.

  She and Zane. That was insane; and in no way was he perfect for her.

  Besides, the last time she’d thought a guy was perfect for her, look how wrong she’d been. She’d thought Zach was perfect for her and he wasn’t. Now there was a wedge between them and it was all her fault. For all she knew, he probably thought she still had something going for him. Would it make it better if she said something to him along the lines of kissing you was kind of like kissing my pillow?

  Possibly. But it would also . . . well. She had a feeling it might also sound insulting.

  She didn’t know. She was really good at insulting people without meaning to. Normally she didn’t let it bother her. But when people mattered? It kind of sucked.

  “Keelie? Are you even listening?”

  She met Anais’s wide blue eyes in the mirror and smiled easily. “Nope.”

  Dating advice. From Anais. Not happening.

  “Look, you need some help,” Anais said.

  Help? Oh, honey you have no idea. But the kind of help Keelie needed didn’t come in the form of dating advice.

  Cutting her friend a dark look, Keelie pushed her platinum-blonde hair back from her face. It was streaked with chunks of black and her roots were starting to show. She needed to do a touch-up. Sometimes she thought about going back to her normal color, but then reality realigned.

  Noooo. She didn’t want to go back to that girl she’d been.

  Not even in the most superficial of ways.

  Maybe instead of the white and black, she’d try something different. Red. Vibrant murder red and maybe a streak or two of blue.

  “Would you pay attention?”

  Rolling her eyes, Keelie folded her arms over her chest and met Anais’s gaze. “Sure. Just what kind of help do you think I need?”

  “When was the last time you went out with anybody? For that matter, when was the last time you kissed anybody?”

  Keelie rolled her eyes and busied herself with digging around in her purse. “I haven’t gone out on a date in a year, Ani.” She wasn’t going to touch on the question of kissing. Her knees went a little weak thinking about it. “That doesn’t mean I need dating advice. I don’t think it’s changed that much. And for the record, the last moron I went out with? That fell more under the definition of hot mess than anything else.”

  Anais arched her eyebrows. “Ohhhhh? And what happened?”

  Keelie jerked a shoulder in a shrug. “Old history. But trust me, it falls in line with my luck as far as guys go. Part of the reason I don’t have a lot of interest in dating.”

  “Guy was a dick,” Javi said. “Thought he could get free ink and when Keelie didn’t jump on that idea, he up and went to the bathroom—or that’s what he claimed. Then he just ditched her there. She saw him slipping out the front door.”

  “You’re shitting me.” Anais looked at him, then at Keelie.

  Keelie shrugged. “This is how my luck runs. Either I think I like the wrong guy, or I go out with somebody who seems like a decent guy and he’s a jerk.”

  “Having a couple of bad dates doesn’t mean you should just give up.” Anais hopped up on the counter and grinned at Keelie. “So when was the last time a guy knocked you off your feet? I mean . . . really . . . knocked you off your feet?”

  Three months ago. The answer was instantaneous. But she kept it to herself.

  “Ani, I haven’t had a date with a guy who knocked me off my feet in forever. Trust me.” And that wasn’t a lie. Zane had knocked her off her feet, stolen the breath right out of her and made her come harder than she ever had in her life. But they hadn’t been out on a date—before that night, he’d never so much as kissed her. Oh, he’d asked her out, but she never really thought he was that serious. It was like an afterthought.

  He’s asked you out since then . . . those aren’t afterthoughts, a sly little voice inside her whispered.

  Her hands went slick. No. They weren’t. But the thought of going out with him terrified her. She couldn’t explain why.

  “Okay, so you’ve had some lousy luck. You know what that means, right?” Anais looked like a cherub, big blue eyes, rosy mouth, round cheeks, blonde curls that were one hundred percent real. She didn’t go without a date unless she chose to, and that didn’t happen too often.

  “Yes.” Keelie gave her a brilliant smile. “It means I should just give up this whole relationship idea.”

  “No.” Anais rolled her eyes. “It does not mean that.”

  “Sure it does.” Keelie held up a hand. “Last year’s bad date . . .” She ticked off a finger. “There was a guy before that who decided my tats meant I was crazy kinky and he shoved his hand up my skirt. So I punched him in the middle of the restaurant and the cops were called and he lied and I had to explain it all to the cops and half of them didn’t believe me.”

  “What the fuck?” Javi demanded.

  Keelie gave him a dark look. “Don’t ask. I didn’t want you threatening to kill him. I handled it.”

  She looked back at Anais. “Then there was this guy I thought I did like . . . I made a move on him, it was a disaster—” She ticked off another finger, acutely aware that Javi had developed a fascination with the ceiling. Anais was new here, and didn’t know about the mess Keelie had caused with Zach and Abby. “He was involved with somebody else and I almost messed that up. See? Bad luck. I’ll give this guy a shot, but I’m not expecting it to be a rousing success.”

  Anais looked away, her shoulders slumping. Keelie felt like she’d kicked a puppy and so she groped around, looking for something to say to make it better.

  But Javi spoke first, his voice soft, “Keelie, maybe that’s the problem.”

  “What’s the problem?”

  “You go into it expecting there to be problems. Guys ask you out and you shoot them down before the sentence even gets out. The few who managed to get the words out, it’s like you’ve already written them off.” Javi shrugged. “If you go into this expecting him to be a jerk, expecting this be a failure . . . that’s probably what’s going to happen. Just don’t expect anything. You don’t know him. It’s hard to know what to expect from a guy you don’t know.”

  Keelie made a face at him. She wouldn’t, under any circumstances, admit that he made sense. Nor would she admit that he might have a point. Maybe she did go into things expecting most of the guys she met to be something less than . . . well. Anything decent.

  She’d stopped looking for the good in people a long time ago—only after they’d proved it existed did she let her guard down.

  Aware that Javi was still watching her, she lowered her brows and gave him the stare that would have had
most men backing away. “What?”

  Javi only shrugged. “When was the last time you actually thought about giving a guy a chance? Ever liked anybody well enough to just relax and talk to him?”

  “Well, that’s easy.” She fluttered her lashes at him. “I talk to you daily, honey. But the thing is, you’re married. You went and broke my heart with it, too.”

  “Very funny.” He rolled his eyes. “Seriously, can you name one guy who you don’t automatically put at arm’s length? One guy who doesn’t automatically make you shut down?” Then he added, “Besides anybody who works here. We all get a pass.”

  Well, yeah. She could. But she sure as hell wasn’t naming him.

  Aware that Javi was watching her, she managed a casual shrug.

  “There are a couple, yeah.”

  “Okay, then. Give this guy the same benefit of the doubt you give them.” Javi grinned at her. “You don’t need to be looking for the man of your dreams—”

  Her bark of laughter all but rang around the room. Javi ignored her and continued. “Just talk to the guy. See if you like him. The only thing you’ve got a right to expect is that he treat you well. He’s got the same right to expect that of you.”

  Anais grinned and nodded. “Exactly, Javi. Give him a chance without assuming the worst.”

  Bracing her hips against the counter, Keelie stared down at the toes of her boots. Give him a chance without assuming the worst. She jerked a shoulder in a shrug. “I guess I can do that.”

  Assume the worst was pretty much her motto in life, but it hadn’t exactly made for the best life, either. Her life was damn lonely. Damn empty. It had seemed even more so the past few months, too.

  Yeah. Fine. Mentally, she decided she’d try it. Once.

  “That’s the spirit. Also, Keelie? Don’t get drunk.”

  Jerking her head up, she stared at Anais. “Don’t get drunk?”

  Even as Keelie said it, a shiver raced through her, drawing her gut tight with dread. Oh, she most definitely wouldn’t get drunk. She rarely let that happen anyway, and never with a stranger.