by Matthew Fish
“Because you aren’t a Conductor, not truly yet, “Caesar answered as he carefully placed the nail in Mark’s hand and continued to speak in a hastened voice. “You have not earned a title even befitting that of the talented girl Madeline, so for the time being you are but a boy, clueless to your place in this world…and if it offends you, then I kindly submit that you take those thoughts of offense and affix them on your three longest fingers and promptly shove them right into your anus.”
“Boy it is,” Mark said as he allowed a strange bit of unpleasant imagery to fill his mind.
Caesar laughed with a toothy grin. “Have you no sense of wit, boy? Laugh a little at an old man’s quips.”
“I used to,” Mark said as he shrugged. He used to think that he was funny—these days, not so much.
“Where were we,” Caesar continued as he placed a nail that had the date 1505 etched onto on it into one of the open loops on the inside of Mark’s new vest. “Ahh yes, nails…did you know that almost all blacksmiths of old were Conductors?”
“I did not,”
“Of course not,” Caesar said as he brought over another nail. This one read 1301. “I had these dated myself—the years I etched carefully…it took me almost fifty years to label my collection—which is now your collection. Back to the point—in the old days, you could not build a boat, shoe a horse, make a weapon, or do just about anything that required any kind of advanced engineering without something as simple as a nail.”
“So to kill an older Perpetual, they use nails?”
“That they do, boy,” Caesar said as he removed the nail from Mark’s vest and carefully placed it back in its case. “Would it surprise you to know that for a long time Conductors and Perpetuals were in very close association together? That we believed it was nature’s way of keeping things in check—the Conductors would keep the Perpetuals from killing all of the Mortals and a friendship with the Conductors ensured that they would not kill needlessly—never out of anger, or revenge…only out of necessity.”
“Isn’t it that way these days?”
“One could wish,” Caesar said as he let out a long sigh. “You see, boy, some of my people started to believe that they were superior to yours. A few of your people started to fear mine…things got messy—then things got better. One only has to wonder if we aren’t due for things to get messy again. I pray that is not the case. We used to not be so secretive—now everything so hush-hush. I’ve always believed we should just announce our presence and let things sort themselves out naturally…though the council would never allow such an act. We’ve had Conductors kill Perpetuals who intended to reveal the truth—it all gets swept under the rug.”
“So you think that something bad is going to happen?”
“An old one does not kill a Conductor unless he means to make a statement,” Caesar said as he looked around at the vast collection. “Conductors do die…all the time—but it’s to grunt Perpetuals who go down the wrong path or lose their minds and show their powers. It’s the bad ones that kill Conductors—not the elders, or old ones.”
“So you’ll help me find this old one?”
“I do not know who this old one is,” Caesar admitted as he looked down to the floor. “I can only arm you with the tools you will need if you do come to face this ‘old one.’
“I don’t know how to thank you,” Mark said as he looked around the room. “It’s too much.”
“It does, as does everything in this world, come with a price…of course, boy,” Caesar said as he reached a hand to Mark and squeezed it tightly. “I will give you the tools you lack, what you need—but you must make a promise to me.”
“What is that promise?”
“It is a promise to provide me a service when I ask it of you,” Caesar said in a serious stern voice. “I will not name it now, but when I do—you will do so without hesitation.”
“You’re not going to have me kill anyone…are you?” Mark asked, confused.
“Nothing as serious as that,” Caesar said with a short laugh. “Do I have your promise?”
“You do,” Mark said as he shook Caesar’s hand. “I promise.”
“Good then,” Caesar said as he nodded and smiled. “You’ve got training to do…just not with these nails. We’ll use newer ones, of course, these are far too precious. You’ll have to focus on having coin and nail in the air—you’ll get it though, you’ll have to!”
“I’ll do my best,” Mark said as Caesar began to laugh heartily.
“Yes, yes you will.”
“I’m glad they changed the Schmied, that sounds kinda ridiculous…,” Mark added, attempting to add some levity to his part of the circumstances…Caesar already seemed a little too amused.
“It was once believed, very, very long ago—that we were the children of the apple tree. History is full of things that seem ridiculous now. I believe at one time the Celts called us the children of the Pomme…hewn from the flesh of an apple tree by the Celtic god Abelio.”
“That is very unusual,” Mark said.
“You know in the Roman times, we were called…if translated today it would be, Retards.” Caesar said as he placed a hand on Mark’s shoulder and began to lead him out of the room. “So you can see that we dropped that once it came to have a rather ineloquent meaning.”
“Also pretty politically incorrect,” Mark added. “Well at least up to a few years ago.”
“Indeed,” Caesar said as they ventured on. “It is just like faggot. It was naught but ten years ago when it was faggot this or faggot that. Now I suppose I’m just gay—which initially meant happy. Now it just means what it is, I appreciate a nice dicking.”
“Thank you for everything,” Mark said again as he stood by the door to his bedroom.
“You aren’t into that Zampa girl, are you?” Caesar said as he rested against the doorframe. “Madeline is the better choice, isn’t she—pretty face, graceful and well mannered—great ass as well.”
“I don’t really know what’s going on,” Mark said as he shrugged. He did not wish to divulge that he had some kind of relations with Emily just the night before. “I have a lot on my…plate right now, so…yeah.”
“Messy things—mortal and Perpetual romances,” Caesar added. “Did you know that Cleopatra was a Perpetual—their relationship was looked down at the time, still is actually. Didn’t work out very well for Marc Anthony did it?”
“I honestly…don’t know.”
“Before your time anyway, boy,” Caesar said as he tossed a small box of nails onto Mark’s bed. “Besides, if you had heard what the faux official version of events was, I would tell you it was naught but all silly trite lies. Mayhap it the truth would be not as interesting, but still definitely…messy, messy stuff.”
“Any relationship can be messy,” Mark said.
“Don’t I know it, boy,” Caesar said as he nodded. The stories I could tell…regardless, you will do fine.
Emily and Maddie woke up an hour later that day. I was already in the ballroom attempting to figure out how throw nails when they found me.
“Nails…?” Maddie said as she curiously eyed my new vest. “That takes a bit of a different approach—the weight’s uneven depending on the nail…It’s really complicated stuff.
“Morning,” Mark said as he nodded to Maddie and Emily, who for some reason—could not stop giggling. “I’ve kinda figured that…a bit—I seem to have sent about ten into the far wall over there—I hope that Caesar wasn’t being humble about not caring if we destroyed this room.
“Did I hear my name?” Caesar said as he entered the room wearing a robe—he had apparently just finished his nap. “Oh, the nail thing…some warning on my part was probably warranted. Live and learn, boy. That’s my lesson for you today; Madeline can take over from there.”
Emily began to giggle even louder.
“What’s your problem this morning?” Maddie asked as she turned and gave Emily a strange look. “All you’ve been doing is giggling
like a ten year old.
“I could, if I had to, manage a guess,” Caesar said as he turned around. “Our little artiste here decided to do a little embroidery on my favorite robe.”
Mark read the big white letters in his head and simply let out a short sigh. On the back of Caesar’s fancy black robe it read ‘I Love Cocks.’
Emily let out a large burst of laughter that almost sent her down to her knees.
“You know it’s not as funny when it’s true,” Caesar said as he turned his nose up at Emily, “Besides, I rather like it…bitch.” He then turned and walked out of the room and walked off down the hall humming a little tune.
“Would you seriously grow up?” Maddie said as she threw her left arm up and let out a disgruntled sigh. “Seriously…?”
“Didn’t know it was true,” Emily said sheepishly. “I mean I suspected, but I just thought he was really eccentric—not gay. Hmm…you know what this means?”
“What?” Maddie asked in a short annoyed voice.
“We’ve found that elusive gay Perpetual!”
“It’s time to practice,” Maddie said as she pushed Emily out of the way and took one of Mark’s nails and inspected it.
“You doing alright today, Vesty…?” Emily asked as she tilted her head to the side and got a good look at the red vest mark was wearing.
“I umm, yeah…” Mark answered as he nodded. He still felt terribly awkward with the situation and where he either did or didn’t stand with Emily. She was pretending as though nothing happened. She was being her usual self—so he figured she must just be alright with the rather different encounter. “I’m doing well, got a Schmied Vest…it holds nails, going to eventually kill an old one…I guess. How are you doing?”
“Good,” Emily said with a smile. “I’m going to go for a walk—work on my gun skills…maybe try projecting. Probably shouldn’t work on my fire skills, lots of trees out there. Good luck with the nails.”
“Thanks,” Mark said as he looked at the vest and made an exhausted face. “It’s always something new…and odd. Have a good walk…though.”
“Have a good training,” Emily said as she left.
“What’s up with you two?” Maddie asked as she bounced one of the nails in her hand, attempting to gauge its weight.
“I…I, well—what do you mean?” Mark stuttered as he dropped a nail onto the floor.
“She’s was being really nice to you—it’s a little odd actually,” Maddie said as she picked up the nail and handed it back to Mark.
“She’s always been cool with me, well sort of,” Mark said defensively. “I don’t know.”
“I guess so,” Maddie said as she shrugged. “Anyway—this is going to be a bit of a challenge, but noting we can’t figure out.”
“You’ve worked with nails before right,” Mark asked as he thought back to Maddie’s extensive training. “In that Conductor school you went to?”
“Well,” Maddie said as she hesitated and looked up into the air as though searching for a fitting answer. “Not really. I’ve read about it—I know how it works, in principle. It is really something more fitting of a Grand Conductor.”
“What’s a Grand Conductor?”
“It’s the highest members of our order. Live long and do enough good deeds and one day they might invite you,” Maddie said as she flipped the nail in her left hand and caught it in the air.
“I didn’t even know about them…” Mark said as he picked up a nail from the box. “I don’t know why Caesar gave them all to me—it seems more fitting that he would leave them with you.”
“They’re a very secretive and honorable group of older men and women,” Maddie said as she made a wide sweeping gesture with the nail still in hand. “They’re not really considered as relevant as they were in the old days. They would, however, be the ones that would wield nails instead of coins—it is rare that a Conductor would have to take the life of an old one, so there isn’t really a need for it to be widely practiced. As to why, I don’t know…maybe he sees something in you. How many did he give you?”
“I couldn’t even guess how many,” Mark said as he picked up another nail from the box. This being a new territory for both of them made him feel rather apprehensive. “It was a huge room….just case after case of really old nails and coins. I’ve never seen so many of either; he treated some of them like ancient relics—probably had nails that went back as far as people were making them…”
“It’s just strange,” Maddie said as she looked to Mark with narrowed eyes and a confused look upon her face. “You know that council people are always talking about regarding Perpetuals?”
“I’ve heard it come up a few times…”
“If the nails are that old,” Maddie spoke as she looked the newer nail in her hand. “He’s given you enough nail to take out all of the Perpetual Council. They must not know that such a collection exists privately…they certainly would not agree with it.”
“What is the Perpetual Council?”
“It’s kind of like the Grand Conductors. They set rules and then try to enforce them. It is all a bit of self-policing and politics, just like any other group. It’s really just a group of elders or old ones, whatever you’d want to call them, sitting around trying to figure out a way to keep their secrets and dole out punishment, with our help, to those they feel that jeopardize their way of life.”
“So we work for both groups?” Mark asked. The explanation gave him a headache.
“In a way,” Maddie nodded. “They have people who give orders to other people, who…it’s so many degrees of separation that, in my opinion, both groups are rather out of touch with the real world and its happenings.”
“Fun times,” Mark said with a shake of his head. He allowed the steel nail to vibrate in his hand and sent it up into the air. He focused his mind onto a red and white hunting target on the concrete wall in the center of the ballroom. He kept his eyes trained on bright red circle in the center and sent the nail into the air above his head. He kept his fingers closed as he gestured with a short and precise movement. The nail boomed as it flew and lodged itself into the wooden floor just in front of the wall. “Yeah…that shit’s been happening all day—though that’s as close as I’ve gotten so far.”
“Maybe it’s not the weight,” Maddie said as she rested the nail on the palm of her left hand and flung it up into the air. With a loud boom, the nail flew across the room and went into the red wall. “That’s disappointing.”
“I honestly thought you were going to get it,” Mark said as picked up another nail from the box.
“I did too…” Maddie added as she let out a frustrated little sigh. “That’s actually, nothing like coins. She placed another nail in her hand and set it up for launch. She flipped it into the air and gestured with a wide smooth move and her fingers close together. The familiar boom echoed through the room as the nail flew and struck the edge of the concrete slab.
They spent the next few hours trying over and over. Each time they sent a nail flying they did it a little differently, changing the technique ever-so-slightly in an attempt to find that elusive sweet spot that they were somehow missing. Maddie tried an open hand approach that sent a nail flying wildly up into the ceiling—it did not even stick, tumbling end over end; it fell to the floor, bounced about six times, and then ricocheted back up to the ceiling and stuck out at an odd angle with the pointed side facing outward. After that incident, they both agreed that an opened hand approach was definitely not the way to go. Mark sent most of his flying into the wall or floor. No matter how he changed up the formula, he kept coming up with the same frustrating results. Despite the rather depressing results, they kept trying. They would pause at times and talk—they would laugh at some of their more spectacular failures.
I remember thinking that day, that aside from the hopeless feeling I was beginning to have about throwing nails—that it was a good day. Maddie was a delight to be around. When I wanted to give up, she kept me going�
��she kept me laughing. We were just about to call it a day when Maddie said we would each try one more time.
“Well, here’s my last,” Maddie said as she shook her head and smiled briefly before turning her mind to the nail. She tossed it up into the air—a little higher than normal and made a quick, direct, close fingered lunge. As the nail boomed it streaked forward and struck the very edge of the white section of the paper target.
“That was much better than like…all of my attempts today,” Mark said with a short laugh as he tossed his own nail into the air. As he was about to gesture, the idea popped into his mind that his hand should be more nail like—for reasons he could not understand, he ended his the short, direct swing of his arm with a single finger pointing. A familiar echo filled the room as the nail struck the very center of the target.
“Well damn,” Maddie said as she walked to the target and placed her finger atop the end of the nail that was still very hot. “That’s a perfect throw.”
“It’s a point,” Mark said as he shrugged slightly. “I don’t know how I got it—but I think I got it.”
“You definitely got it,” Maddie said as she walked back to Mark and tossed him another nail. “Unless you just got lucky….I’ll watch this time.”
“Well…here goes,” Mark said as he let out a heavy sigh and began to vibrate the nail against his hand. He tossed it up into the air—he had come to realize at this point that height did not really play a part in the equation. With a direct and swift gesture he ended with his pointer finger directed straight at the target. The nailed followed like a bullet fired from a gun, striking right next to the previous nail. “Yeah…that’s it.”
“That’s amazing!” Maddie said as she rushed over to Mark and wrapped her arms around him and pressed her soft pink lips against his cheek. Giddy from all the failed attempts throughout the day, she placed another nail in her hand and sent it up into the air. Mimicking Mark’s motion she ended her gesture with a pointed finger and watched as the nail joined the other two in the red of the center of the target.
