by Alison Kent
She needed to pull herself together and get going instead of standing in the bathroom completely losing it.
“Could you go away…please?” she said through the door. Like to Siberia for a few days, so she could slink away like the coward she was and hope never, ever to have to face them again.
After a long silence, during which she began to wonder if he actually had gone away, he spoke.
“No, I can’t go away.” He didn’t sound any more pleased about it than her, which made her feel even more mortified. “We’ve got a lot of work to do today, and it all includes you. If we can get some food and water in you, you’ll feel better.”
She’d get through this. She always got through horrendously embarrassing moments.
It was only one more thing to handle. After what she’d gone through with him, and the nightmare, she could feel the distance. Although she wanted intimacy from Drew, she had to accept that he might never give of himself. Now, she felt as if he’d walled himself off completely from her.
More training. She sighed. After a quick shower, she rummaged around in the suitcase to find something appropriate. She found a pair of tight black shorts that would work well along with a small white T-shirt and a black hoodie. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and secured it with an elastic. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. Grabbing up the hoodie and a pair of sweatpants to ward off the early-morning chill, she exited the bathroom.
Thad had already jury-rigged the door and everyone else was drinking coffee and eating croissants, except Drew, who was standing near the bank of windows, separate and alone.
His team knew something was different; they kept giving him glances. Drew was off his stride and everyone knew it and they blamed her. She could tell this when his team members looked at her.
“Coffee?” Jason asked.
Allie took the cup, poured in cream and took a sip. It was delicious. “Thanks, Jason.”
He nodded. “Allie, can we talk about what you’re doing?”
“I’ve already given my word. I’ve quit too many times in my life, Jason. I’m following through on it.”
“But Callie would be totally against this. She hired me to keep you safe. She wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger, not for this.”
“That’s because she doesn’t think I can handle it, Jason. My whole family thinks I’m a ditz, who doesn’t think before taking action. Even you think it.”
“Allie—”
“I don’t want to talk about it. You’ve shown where your loyalty is and it isn’t with me. Callie’s paycheck I’m sure is much more than I could pay you.”
“It’s not about money.”
“All I know is that I can’t let Drew down after all the time and effort he’s put into this. I’m the only one who can do this.”
She turned away from him and the protest on his lips. She could hear Thad giving him encouragement and sympathy. Her eyes met Drew’s. For a moment the world drifted away and she remembered every sensation he’d given her last night from the touches and sex to holding her against him as if his life depended on it. For an unguarded moment his eyes were full of emotions she couldn’t name.
He looked away from her. “Let’s move out, people.”
10
THE SETTING SUN glistened off the pool, liquid spilling from a rimless waterfall. He tipped the crystal glass to his mouth and tossed back the twelve-year-old Scotch.
Unable to enjoy the view from his opulent office, he paced the length of the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, his tie loosened. Even amid the lushness of the vineyards and tranquil, rarefied atmosphere up here on his hilltop, he felt unsettled, unsatisfied and very close to losing his focus. A focus he’d had for five long years. He reached out and opened the latch to the window, breathing in the pine-scented air. His eyes were blind to the panorama cityscape below.
Gina.
Only hours separated them. At the consulate party tonight he had every intention of making sure he had one-on-one time with her even if he had to take out her bodyguards and lackeys. In person, he’d pressed her second in command, but he wouldn’t budge. Her life was threatened and no one would get personal time with Gina.
There had to be a public meeting place and the man had been smart enough to suggest the consulate party. There would be no weapons allowed on the grounds with so many dignitaries attending.
It guaranteed that the only people who would be carrying weapons would be consulate security.
He’d done plenty of digging and found out that Fudo Miyagi was the one who’d tried to mow Gina down in France. After finding out that Miyagi was desperately searching for handheld rocket-propelled grenades, Jammer contacted Miyagi and set up a meeting. He had every intention of neutralizing any threat to Gina.
A relationship wasn’t in the plan. But for better or worse, he’d connected with the woman the first time they’d met. He’d kept his real emotions hidden from her, not because he couldn’t trust her, but because he couldn’t trust himself.
He ached for her, felt his chest grow tight remembering the last time he’d seen her. Had it been only just over two weeks?
She’d gone limp, draped over him like an exhausted kitten, her mouth partly open, her lipstick gone, her mascara smudged beneath her eyes—the whole of her so lovely it broke his heart. Five feet six inches of golden curves and a tiny tan line across her ass.
The Chinese food they’d ordered had cooled considerably. He checked the wontons, counted only three, and put them back on the side table. He went instead for the shrimp dumplings, stretching the chopsticks over to the far side of the table and snagged the wire handle on the container.
He’d just put one in his mouth when he felt her stir again, as if this time she might be waking up.
Chewing slowly, he watched and waited, practically holding his breath—just one more act of pure idiocy he was at a loss to explain. He always kept breathing, always, even under fire. He breathed.
But, oh, no, not with her. She was a threat of unknown capabilities, unknown force.
What if he loved her? What then?
She yawned and, yeah, that’s about all it took for him to start getting real interested in her waking up, and with both of them naked and her right next to him, there was no way to hide it.
He was starting to feel uncomfortably vulnerable, something he would have thought it would have taken a guy pointing an AK-47 at him to accomplish—not one beautiful woman whose only weapon was a one-way ticket to heaven.
Before she even opened her eyes, a slow smile curved her lips.
“Hey, don’t bogart the food or I’ll have to get rough with you.”
“Mmm. Sounds like fun. Open your mouth.”
She obeyed—which gave him a really nice feeling—and, using the chopsticks, he placed a dumpling on her tongue. She sighed in pleasure.
Oh, yeah. Open your mouth, Gina. Lick me.
He wondered what she was thinking right then.
He didn’t have to wait long to find out.
Without so much as a subliminal suggestion on his part, she started sliding down his body, one of her hands going between his legs and the other sliding up his chest, under his arm, and over his biceps. There her fingers curled around him—as if she needed to hold him down to keep him from getting away.
Yeah. Right. Just the thought of having her mouth on him had been enough to make his erection complete, and given her position, there was no way for her not to know it. Perfect. Again.
Her tongue came out and lit him on fire. He braced one arm against the headboard and gripped the sheets with the other, his hips rising off the bed on a surge of pleasure so intense if he’d been standing it would have put him to his knees.
Oh, man, be careful what you wish for. His gaze was riveted to the utterly compelling sight of her going down on him—her hand encircling him, her mouth all tantalizing softness and flickering movement. Her hand slid over his belly, tickling the dark hair arrowing down his lower abdomen, an
d, as he watched, she ran her tongue up the length of him.
Good grief. His hips rose again, and he gripped the bed harder. She was relentless in her tender onslaught, and he was very quickly floating somewhere near to where nirvana must be, his body suffused with pleasure, moving in rhythm with her, his thought processes on permanent vacation.
“Gina,” he said, his voice hoarse, his body strung out on the rack of her mouth. “Gina…”
She had to know what was going to happen; try as he might, he’d hit an unmistakable rhythm—and it felt so incredibly good, so sweet and deep.
“Gina…”
Her only answer had been to slide her hand across his shoulder and up to his face. She gently traced his lips, silently telling him to shh, and he caught her fingers with his mouth.
She had to love him. He felt loved—loved in every cell of his body.
He kept pulling her up, until she had to release him and give him her mouth. He wanted her kiss like nothing else in the world. He wanted to be covered by her.
She was a part of him. They were both sheened with sweat, their bodies so hot he felt as if they were fusing into each other, a sensation that only increased when she slid down on him, taking him inside.
With Gina on top, her hot pelvis sliding against him, he brought her face down to his and just lost himself in kissing her, in thrusting into her, in letting her ride him.
When she tightened above him, her cry caught in her throat. He still didn’t stop. He kept going, pumping into her, holding her mouth to his for an endlessly deep kiss. Eventually, his release overtook him and dragged him completely under, with her.
He was a damn fool.
Everything he’d done so far had been planned, methodical. For one purpose only. Now he felt fractured, his focus splintered. He should have sent someone else to deal with Gina Callahan. If he’d only known what kind of deep kimchi he would end up in.
He hadn’t been this screwed up since Colombia where he and so many had died.
Yeah, the day he’d died and become the Ghost.
As a ghost he had no life except for the one that his oath had wrought. He’d play out the hand he had. He’d intended to follow through no matter the sacrifice.
But it had been so long since he’d wanted a woman.
Now he just wasn’t sure if he could sacrifice everything, especially Gina.
“YOU EXPECT me to wear this…this swatch?”
“It’s what Gina would wear, Allie. It’s part of the character.”
Allie threw the material and it snaked down Drew’s body until it pooled on the floor at his feet.
“No way am I wearing that in public. It barely covers me.”
“Allie, be reasonable. It’s part of the disguise.”
“Usually a disguise covers body parts, not reveals them.”
“You have to wear the dress, Allie.”
“Fine,” she said, grabbing the fabric from the floor. But before she could get away, he captured her around the waist. “Do you think I want you displayed for everyone to see? Do you think I like the fact that you’re walking into danger?” He looked down into her blue eyes. “Hell, no. I hate it. But we have no choice. The Ghost has to go down. Do you understand?”
She trembled in his arms and he pulled her closer, the last two days wearing on them both. He felt as if he was losing her increment by increment, until she would disappear like smoke and he’d find himself alone again. Alone and isolated, just the way he liked it.
Yeah, that’s right. The way it had to be. When this was over, could he walk away and go on to the next mission?
He felt raw inside. He needed her, wanted the feel of her in his arms because she was real and he loved her. How stupid, how cruel that he should fall for a woman who made him want to stay. He couldn’t tell her because he knew it couldn’t last.
“Do you understand, Allie?” he asked again in a hoarse whisper.
She nodded against his chest and his broad shoulders rose and fell. He turned to pace, but her small hand settled on his arm, holding him in place as effectively as an anchor. He studied her angel’s face and the air fisted in his lungs. She gazed at him with sparkling blue eyes that mirrored the need that ached in his soul.
“Yes, I understand. I understand, Drew.”
He closed his eyes against a wave of pain, leaned down and brushed his lips against her cheek.
She took his hand and led him to the bed. With a yank, she pulled his towel off.
They made love, immersing themselves in the desire, steeping themselves in the experience, savoring the tenderness. Gentle touches. Soft, deep kisses. Caresses as sensuous as silk. A joining of two bodies and two souls, one scarred and one as bright as the sun. Straining to reach together for a kind of ecstasy that would banish shadows. A brilliant golden burst of pleasure. Trying desperately to hold on as it slipped away like stardust through their fingers.
And when it was over and they rose to dress, Drew stared out into the dusk that fell and wished with all his heart that he didn’t have to let her go.
INSIDE the consulate, her hand gripping the stair rail, she stood in a crowd of people above the main foyer. There had to be a hundred guests here.
Her hands shook and she tried to still them. Gina Callahan wouldn’t shake. Gina was going into one of the biggest deals of her life and she would have her war-face on. Allie reached for her own inner courage and quelled the shaking. She took a deep breath.
Callie would have been so proud of her. Allie’s throat ached suddenly thinking of her sister. She prayed she would get a chance to tell Callie all about her incredible adventure.
“Are you okay?” Drew asked in her ear.
She nodded and together they turned and walked into the grand ballroom. More people milled about her. With a nonchalance she hoped didn’t look fake, she grabbed two glasses of champagne off a tray as a waiter walked by.
Sipping, she looked around the room.
“Do you see Jammer?”
“Not yet, but when I do, you’ll be the first to know.”
She nodded, feeling better when she saw Leila stroll by on Frost’s arm, both of them breathtaking in their evening wear. Women followed Frost with their eyes and men did the same to Leila.
Jason was in the back of the room at the bar and Thad was walking around with a tray of champagne.
She was covered on all sides.
When the soft music started, Allie needed to find a restroom. She turned to tell Drew, but some woman in a blue sequined dress had a death grip on his arm and was talking to him avidly. Figuring it wouldn’t take long, she headed toward the bathroom.
HE WATCHED her move away from her second in command and it was all the time and space he needed. As soon as she came out of the restroom, he snagged her arm and pulled her into a hallway, then into a vacant office.
“Gina.”
She gasped softly and it was more than he could take. He pulled her close, felt her soften against him, felt her hand slide up to his shoulder, and for the first time in days, the knot of tension that had been holding his heart in a vise began to ease. It was dangerous, letting go of the tension, but for her he was willing to do it, on the chance he could draw some of her inside himself, some of her heat, some of the life pulsing through her.
Gathering her closer, he bent his head to hers and eased her backward in a slow dance of swaying hips and barely moving feet. If it had been up to him, he wouldn’t have moved at all, just held her and run his hands over her, buried his face into the curve of her neck, remembering.
“Gina,” he murmured. “I thought you were dead.”
He wanted to forget who he was for a while, and she was the one, the only one who gave him that kind of oblivion.
“You changed your hair. I like it.” His mouth came down on hers. Go slow, he told himself, even as he slid her dress up over her hips, a very short trip, especially when she stopped him with her hand on his.
Fine. He just wanted to touch her. He’d jus
t wanted to breathe without it hurting in his chest, but kissing her was working. He let another barrier fall away, opened himself up more, just to take her in, just to get closer to her heat.
Wrapping his hands around her waist, he lifted her onto the desk and moved between her legs, getting there, closer to where he needed to be. Everything about her turned him on, which was such a relief. Everything had gotten so messed up.
Everything.
So damned messed up.
He pulled her against him, fighting off a tiny surge of panic. Something wasn’t right.
Another surge of panic sizzled into his veins, and he held her tighter, kissed her harder—too hard. He could tell by the weak sound of distress she made deep in her throat. She pushed against him, and for a second, just a second he wondered if he was going to let her go. He was locked onto her like a heat-seeking missile, and, so help him, all he wanted was more. He didn’t want to back off, and it crossed his mind that if he just kept at it, it would feel right.
But it didn’t.
He broke the kiss and stared down into her eyes and he knew.
He grabbed her by the throat and asked, “Who the hell are you?”
IT ONLY TOOK a few moments to notice that Allie was gone. The second Drew couldn’t find her he headed for the restroom where he’d seen her last.
He spoke into his mike. “Anyone seen Allie? I’ve lost her.”
“No, Captain, there are just too many folks,” Thad said. “I’ll start looking.”
“Miyagi’s people are here,” Jason said quietly into his mike. “I recognize some of them.”
“Tread carefully. They might recognize you,” Leila offered.
“I’m going to look for Allie,” Drew said. He went into the alcove where the restrooms were and walked inside calling out. “Gina?”
No answer. Damn, where was she?
ALLIE COULDN’T BREATHE with the hand on her throat and effectively couldn’t answer the man. She clawed at his hand, saw his handsome face contort.
“Where is she?”
