Cave Man's Captive

by Juliana Conners

  I froze. She was right about me not wanting to go in and speak to them. All I needed was to hear my ex-SEAL buddies calling me names and teasing me, saying that I was a coward. I struggled enough with myself feeling like I had let everyone down. Lone isolation helped to avoid feeling that way all of the time. I didn't want to voluntarily put myself in a situation where I might hear negative things directed towards me.

  But then I thought about what Michelle had said. I thought there might be truth to what she said about it all being in my head. Maybe they didn't think of me as a coward and things would be fine. Who knows? I might even enjoy being in their company.

  Being in Darren's house would also give me more of a chance to be around Michelle. Her eyes were all but begging me to go inside. I would have walked across hot coals for her. She made my heart happy. I wanted to spend as much time around her as I could. I wanted to shout from the roof top, to tell everyone, that she was mine and I was hers.

  But for the moment, I would settle on walking into the house with her. I reached out, grabbed her hand and smiled.

  "Let's go," I said, stepping up to the door and knocking hard.

  Chapter 17 Michelle

  The door swung open and Whitney was standing there with a baby on her hip.

  "Oh my goodness! Michelle, what happened? We were worried sick!"

  I walked in and instinctively took the baby from Michelle.

  "It's a long story, Whit," I said, hoping that she didn't notice my cheeks reddened as Elijah smiled at me coyly. I could tell that he was remembering what had happened in the cave. I could still feel the ache from him being inside of me. But, I didn't want to tell any of them about it.

  "It's my fault," said Elijah, stepping forward.

  "Come on in," said Darren walking past the door and disappearing down a long hallway.

  We stepped into the foyer and Hope appeared, inviting us to join her for tea in the kitchen. It was warm and the house smelled like delicious chocolate chip cookies.

  "I knew it!" called out Harlow from the living room. "I knew that something bad would happen if she went anywhere with him."

  "Oh Harlow, stop it," I said, trying to hide my irritation with Harlow. We had barely been in the house for a few minutes before he was already starting in on Elijah. I wished that he would get whatever chip he had on his shoulder off and leave Elijah alone... for once and for all.

  "No, it's okay," said Elijah, waving a hand in my direction. "There was a huge storm that started as soon as we got to my other place, the cave in the woods. And since I didn't want to risk either of us getting hurt, I suggested that we wait out the storm. I had no idea it would have lasted as long as it did. I wish that I would have taken a better look at the forecast. Heard it mentioned that it might rain, but I didn't know that it would get as bad as it did. I apologize you guys."

  "It's okay," said Monica, appearing as if out of nowhere. "I'm sure that you guys found something to do to entertain yourselves.” Her smile getting bigger and eyebrows raised as she moved closer. Oh, lord here we go, I thought.

  "Tell me everything and don't leave out any of the juicy parts," she whispered loudly.

  I elbowed her and grinned, hoping that no one else had heard, but sure that everyone had.

  "Actually, Elijah was very prepared. His cave was stocked with all of the goodies that we needed to survive."

  "Like condoms?" asked Monica slyly, not giving me a chance to change subjects.

  "Like food," I said. "We were able to eat some of the canned goods that he brought along. He made a fire in the cave to keep us warm. I was really impressed with the way that Elijah handled things out there. He is really capable. And a gentlemen."

  "Awww! That's good to hear," said Whitney. "I was worried that you had been eaten by bears or something. Did you get any of the messages I’d sent?"

  I picked up my phone to check and saw I had no signal.

  "No," I told her. "I don't even show where I've missed any calls."

  "Oh," said Whitney. "We called you several times. The guys were going to load the truck up to go find you, but the way that it was storming, there was no telling if they would have made it back safe or not."

  "Mommy said that you died!" came a squeaky voice from under the kitchen table where we sat. I almost jumped up out my chair. I didn't know that there was a child under the table.

  "I didn't say that she died," said Whitney. "I said that I hoped that nothing bad happened to her. And I really am."

  Whitney looked like she was going to break down into tears.

  "Were you scared?" asked Whitney.

  "Not really," I said. "I just wanted to get back because I wanted to be here for you. I felt really bad about going out at all. I felt like I should have followed my first inclination and stayed here. and then maybe I wouldn't have been trapped in the storm."

  "Yeah, but it's not every day that you meet a sexy mountain man and get invited out for an adventure either," said Monica.

  "That's true," said Hope, looking at me with her eyebrows raised.

  "I saw it coming from a mile away," said Harlow, his eyes fixed squarely on Elijah. "I saw it coming and we were right to worry. Something terrible could have happened out there."

  Elijah didn't say anything. But he looked right back at Harlow as if to say that he wasn't afraid of him. I felt so much respect for him in that moment. He was so brave.

  "But it was wonderful," I continued, undeterred. "We had a great time enjoying being in the woods. We went on another hike. Being in nature and in good company is always refreshing. Even when it started storming, I had a chance to get to know Elijah better. I am really grateful that I had the chance to spend time with such an interesting and kind man."

  I smiled at Elijah. He smiled back.

  "Are those sparks that I see flying?" asked Monica, jumping up and down excitedly.

  I didn't say anything and neither did Elijah.

  "Well, why don't you stay for dinner, Elijah?" asked Hope. "That way we can all get to know you better and spend more time with you. I have some wonderful dishes prepared and they are almost ready."

  "And those are chocolate chip cookies that I smell baking, right?" I asked. My mouth was starting to water at the thought of having a home-cooked meal and a tasty dessert.

  "Yes! Oh my goodness! Thank you for reminding me! I'd better take them out before we have burnt chocolate chip cookies."

  Hope ran off in the direction of the stove to take the cookies out of the oven. Elijah walked over to where I was at the table and sat in the chair next to mine.

  "I would love to stay for dinner," he said, not taking his eyes off of me.

  I had all of his attention and I was really beginning to like it.

  Chapter 18

  Elijah

  I excused myself to go to the bathroom so that I could freshen up for dinner. It was at the end of a long hallway and huge, with a double sink. I walked to the sink, turned the water on, and started splashing my face.

  The warm water splashing on my face reminded me of when I was in the SEALS. The last time that I had splashed water on my face like that was the day that we were preparing to go up on that fateful flight.

  I could feel the nausea wash over me again like I was standing in the barracks all over again. The stench of dried up vomit on my shirt kept wafting up into my nose, making me nauseous over and over again.

  Snap out of it, I told myself. I was sick and thought that maybe it had been from something I had eaten. But what if it wasn't? What if I was just experiencing a bad case of nerves? What if I was such a coward that the very thought of going up in the air on that mission was enough to make my stomach weak? If that were the case I knew that I would never hear the end of it.

  "Are you alright in there?" came the voice of my commanding officer as he pounded hard on the door.

  "Yeah," I managed to say, wiping my mouth as I tried to stand up taller. Somehow I thought that standing up taller would make it all go away, li
ke I could will my nausea away. I quickly dismissed this idea as I ran to the toilet again and empty the remains of what was left over in my belly.

  I cursed myself for being so weak, so afraid and sickly.

  When I was younger, I spent a lot of time in the hospital with stomach issues. My mother was convinced that I was having imaginary pain because I would stay in the hospital for weeks at a time, only for the doctors to tell me that they didn't know what was wrong with me. She thought that either it was my imagination or that I was somehow making myself sick.

  I was starting to think that maybe she was right.

  "Well, when you finish up, I need you to do a final check of the aircraft."

  "Yes, sir," I called out weakly. I splashed water on my face one last time and walked out to the helicopter. I felt like the room was spinning and I was walking on clouds. My legs felt like they were going to give out at any minute. Another recruit noticed me and gave me a worried look.

  "You alright? You don't look too good," he said.

  "I'm fine," I barked back.

  "Don't worry, Elijah," said Harlow, walking toward the helicopter with a group of other SEALS. "If you get scared, we can always bring you a teddy bear along for you to hug and squeeze." He started making crying sounds and sucking his thumb. The rest of the guys laughed. They made a few other baby jokes and then left the barrack to get ready for the mission.

  I laughed with them, but a large part of me felt bad that they were making fun of me. I didn't say anything though, because that would have only made them rip into me even more. Instead, I focused on trying to take in enough air to make my nausea go away. I wanted to be well enough to go up in the air so they wouldn't have a reason to make fun of me.

  When I finally realized my nausea wasn't going to go anywhere, I knew that I had to tell my commanding officer the bad news… that I wasn't going to be able to go on the mission. In my mind, I thought that I would just sit this one out and be ready to fly the next one.

  "The aircraft is in perfect condition, sir," I reported to him, saluting him and standing at attention. "Unfortunately, I am not in a position to operate said machinery. I am requesting leave for this mission as I am not feeling physically up to par."

  "You got the shits soldier," said my commanding officer.

  "No sir. It's coming out of the other end."

  My commanding officer took a step back and covered his mouth as if he were trying to protect himself from catching whatever it is that I had.

  "It’s probably a mild case of food poisoning sir," I told him. "I expect that I will be feeling fine by morning and ready to join the team on the next mission."

  I had no clue there would be a great tragedy, that lives would be lost… that I would never go on another mission…ever!

  I looked at myself long and hard in the mirror as I stood in the bathroom at Darren and Hope's.

  I thought about Michelle's words, then how freeing it was to tell her the truth about what had happened. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me, one that I didn't realize had been weighing me down all these years.

  Maybe I should tell them the truth about what happened all those years ago, I thought. I wasn't sure what they thought about me after I left the SEALS. I wasn't in contact with anyone afterward to find out. This was actually my first time seeing any of them since before the accident. Whatever they thought or felt I could find out now. Good or bad, at least I would know the truth. And besides, like Michelle said, maybe it was all in my head and they didn’t think poorly of me. Maybe they would hear my side of the story and understand.

  Either way, I was ready to tell my truth, to get it off of my chest, and move on with my life. Whatever the future held, I hoped that it would turn out for the better… and hoped that Michelle would be included in that brighter future.

  Chapter 19

  Elijah

  I could hear all of the voices coming from the kitchen as I made my way back down the long hallway.

  "I don't want to sit next to him!" whined one of the kids.

  "Well, you don't really have a choice in the matter. Deal with it," said Michelle firmly. Her voice had taken on an authoritative tone. It was in such contrast with her sweet tone that she normally spoke in. If I had not been rounding the corner and heard her speaking the end of those words, I might not have believed that it was her. Whitney was nursing a glass of wine at the opposite end of the table and wasn't paying attention to what they were saying.

  "There you are, Darren," said Hope, putting a bowl of mashed potatoes down on the table. "I thought you'd fallen in and I was going to have to send one of the guys in after you."

  Laughing, I sat down at the table next to Michelle.

  "No, I'm here. I was just washing myself up and getting ready for this delicious meal you’ve prepared."

  "I can't wait to dig in," said Harlow, leaning over and grabbing a roll from a basket on the table.

  "Stop that," said Hope, slapping at his hand. "If you start randomly grabbing food off of the table, all of the kids are going to start doing it and then we'll have a problem."

  Everyone began piling food onto their plates, asking that food be passed to them. Everyone had finally gotten their plates filled with food. The table fell silent as everyone dug into their plates. The only sound being grunts of approval and light chatter about how good the food was.

  It had been months since I had a home cooked meal and the food tasted like heaven to me. I ate each mouthful gratefully.

  "So Elijah, you have to tell us about your time in the SEALS," said Monica, leaning on the table with her elbows, licking her lips.

  "I'm glad that you brought that up," I said, wiping my mouth with the corner of a linen napkin that was sitting in the table in front of me.

  "There are a few things that I have been wanting to share with you guys that happened all of those years ago.”

  "What's up?" asked Darren, putting down his fork and staring at me intently.

  I took a deep breath and prepared myself to continue.

  "Before the mission that you were all on, the one that turned deadly, I had a feeling in my gut that something bad was going to happen. I can't exactly explain why I felt the way that I did. It was just a bad, I paused, really bad feeling. It was so strong that I started to feel nauseous right before it was time to go on the mission. I told our commanding officer that I'd eaten some bad food, but being completely honest, I don't know that it was food poisoning. Part of me wonders if I wasn't just afraid. And being such a coward, I told the commanding officer that I wasn't going to make it on the mission. After finding out about the accident where lives were lost and others badly injured, I was consumed with guilt. A part of me wondered that if I had have been on the mission, would the accident have still happened. I felt partly responsible for how everything went down. I felt like I had abandoned my friends… that I had let all of you down."

  I stopped to let my words sink in. I looked at the faces of the men at the table. They stared at the table in silence, their faces serious like they were having flashbacks to that moment.

  I was sure they were about to get angry with me, start calling me names or even kick my ass… and then kick me out of Darren's home. Instead, they gave me the surprise of my life.

  "It wasn't your fault," said Darren. "We all have had thoughts like that. What if this and what if that. The fact of the matter is that there is no way to tell if there's anything that any of us could have done differently to change the outcome."

  "Yeah, I can't tell you how many times I have had the same thoughts," said Harlow. "I think we have all had that thought at some point. The thing to remember is that we were brothers---in the same unit. We were all brave and fought hard, side-by-side. Some of us lost our lives andsome of us survived. There really is no rhyme or reason to any of it. But for those of us who were lucky enough to make it, we should be grateful. We should be grateful that we lived to see another day, that we were lucky enough to survive and carry on
meaningful lives… to find wives that love us, and to have beautiful children."

  "You are right," said Darren, looking over at Hope, smiling. "And Elijah, you may not be married or have children yet, but the fact that you are alive and have that possibility is everything. Your whole life is still in front of you. Cherish it and be grateful for every minute. And who knows? Maybe one day you will be lucky enough to have a wife and children of your own. But whatever you do, leave the past in the past and move on with your life."

  My head instinctively turned to look at Michelle. She smile and blushed, sinking down into her chair. Everyone else looked at me, nodding and smiling in agreement. I felt overwhelmed with happiness. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I didn't know what to expect when I told them how I was feeling, but I felt like yet another huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.