by Emma Roman
“I’ve…had a fair bit to drink tonight,” I stated. “I don’t know what I’m thinking.”
He lifted a brow. Obviously, he saw right through my lie. Made me feel better, though, to pretend as though I was oblivious.
Change the topic. I cocked my head and regarded him for a moment before asking, “Do you ever regret being a werewolf?”
He blinked. “Why would you ask me such a thing?”
I shrugged and let my hand drift further down his back. If I wasn’t mistaken, a flash of desire whisked across his face.
My pulse picked up. “Do you?”
“No, I’ve never regretted what I am. Do you regret that you’re human?”
“Every day,” I whispered, hoping he understood the hidden message.
He lifted a hand and hooked his index finger beneath my chin. “Never regret who you are.”
“Easy for you to say when you belong. You were always the pack’s golden boy. And now you’re the alpha, while I’m…”
He shook his head. “A beautiful and intelligent woman.”
“But I’m not a wolf.” And then, emboldened by the alcohol and the dance, I whispered, “And I’ll never have you.”
Not a hint of surprise crossed his face. So, he knew then. My heart slammed into my ribs as I waited for his response.
“Alpha?”
We stopped moving on a dime. Mathis’s arms tightened around me, and with a growl, he turned and eyed the wolf who dared interrupt us. “What?”
I peeked around him, my mouth twisting at the sight of Sloe, a female a few years older than me. Course, most were older than me. At twenty-one, Rumor and I were two of the youngest in the pack.
And from the shade Sloe was throwing my way, it was obvious she didn’t think too highly of me. Whatever. Few did. Another reason Rumor had surprised me when she’d asked me to be her MoH.
Sloe ducked her head and gestured behind us.
I felt Mathis sigh as he guided us around. His muscles tightened, but before I could ask what was wrong, he released me and stormed off toward Rumor and Conrad. I turned and grimaced at the sight of her nose-to-nose with her father.
“You don’t belong with him,” Sloe’s dark voice rose behind me.
I whirled back around. She stood before me, her strawberry blonde hair a halo around her head. Her face twisted, marring the dusting of freckles across her nose.
“You hear me?” she demanded, her light blue eyes shining with power.
“That’s not your decision,” I murmured. Mathis was the only one who could make that call.
“It is our decision. It’s the entire pack’s decision. He’s our alpha. Who he chooses as his mate affects us all. And you aren’t worthy of him. You can’t even shift.” She sneered. “Look around. Does it look like the pack would accept you as our alpha’s mate?”
I stole a glance around the room. Every pair of eyes followed me, their mouths moving as they whispered among themselves.
“It was just a dance,” I whispered more to myself than Sloe.
“It’s never just a dance with the alpha. Do us all a favor, and back the hell off. Let him choose someone better than a shiftless no-account like you.”
Tears priced my eyes. I knew some in the pack thought me an anathema, but to hear it so boldly stated hurt. Whatever hope I harbored for Mathis died a horrible death.
I lifted my chin and forced back the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks. No way in hell would I give in to them. Not here in front of the whole pack.
With my dignity still intact, I turned and marched toward the bar. If my humanity was all that was holding me back, I could fix that. At least I’d learned something from Conrad. But first, some liquid courage. Two more tequila shots later, I grabbed Piper’s hand and dragged her out of the hall.
2
“Juniper,” Piper hissed, her breath steaming in the wintry Canadian Rockies air. “What are we doing here?”
Here was the old Cleary sisters’ shop. During all the hullabaloo two months ago, Alasdair had murdered the sister witches. Wiped out of existence, all because they’d learned the truth and had intended to pass it along to Rumor. Which, apparently, was code for you die now. From what I’d heard, Alasdair hadn’t been gentle with them either. Word on the street was that it’d taken the cleaners days to get all the guts out of the carpet.
Once cleansed of all evil, and any lingering ghosts, a new owner had moved in. Another member of the local coven. The realtor must have offered her a killer price for the building, because, damn. Lord knows I never would have bought this place. Not after that.
“I don’t like this,” Piper pressed.
Ah, Piper. The voice of reason in my otherwise chaotic head. I lifted my chin and stared up at the waxing moon floating among a sea of glittering stars. I’d spent many a night staring up at the sky, wondering what the wolves felt. Did the moon sing to them?
With a sigh, I smoothed my hair back from my face. “Do you know how I start my day every morning?”
“What?”
My gaze slid to Piper. Concern wrinkled the corners of her eyes. I couldn’t blame her for her confusion. Tequila plus rampant emotions equaled crazy single woman on Valentine’s Day. “Every morning, I wake up and try to think of three things I like about my life. Do you know why only three?”
She shook her head.
“Because, when I first started doing this, that was all I could ever come up with. And they’re always the same three things.”
Sympathy chased across Piper’s face.
“I’m one of four humans in our pack. Of the four, I’m the only one born to werewolf parents. The others are human mates brought in by the most submissive members of the pack. I’m tired of being something I’m not.”
“I know.” Piper’s fingers closed around my wrist. “But that doesn’t tell me why we’re here.”
“We’re here because…” I turned back toward the moon, then sighed. “Because I’m tired of trying to find a reason to enjoy life. I’m not human, but I’m not a wolf either. I’m trapped in this hellish limbo. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve considered striking out on my own and carving something worthwhile out of my life. Go to college, meet a boy, fall in love…”
Piper’s silence told me she’d wondered the same.
“But that means leaving my parents, you, and—”
“Mathis,” she interrupted, her voice a mere whisper.
My jaw tightened at the sound of his name. “The three things I think about every morning. Our pack is all I know. They’re my family. I don’t want to leave.”
“So, what does any of this have to do with witches?”
I glanced toward the brick building. Ancient in its own right, it was older than the surrounding buildings. It had withstood the ravishes of time and murder. Surely, I could withstand a little magic to persevere in this world. “Even though Conrad fucked up, he had one thing right. If you aren’t happy with your lot in life, change it.”
“What does Conrad have to do with any of this?”
“He was a submissive. He didn’t like it. So, he made a deal with the fae.”
“Yeah, and?”
I rolled my eyes. Guess I was going to have to spell it out for her. “And…I’m going to do the same. The witches have magic. Maybe they can give me what I want.”
Piper’s jaw dropped. “Juniper, no! You saw what happened to Conrad. Six wolves are dead because of his selfish actions! He lost his family. Rumor—”
“Conrad made a deal with the fae,” I corrected her. “And a clumsy one at that. I’m not talking about the fae.”
“You think the witches are any better?” Piper stepped in front of me, her long fiery-red tresses swinging over her shoulder. “Juniper, please, think this through! You’re talking about using magic to alter who you are.”
Yes, I was. Oddly enough, it didn’t bother me the slightest bit. I lacked magic. Whereas every other werewolf I’d ever met possessed that unique little spark, I was
a null. My whole life, I’d felt this gaping hole where something should have been. Something otherworldly and beautiful.
“I won’t let you do this,” Piper announced. “I’ll call Mathis, and—”
“He won’t get here in time.”
Piper groaned and ran a hand through her hair. “This is insane! What about the consequences? We all know magic doesn’t come free.”
“I’ll deal with the consequences,” I stated. At this point, I didn’t care anymore. I wanted this. I needed this.
“Juniper—”
“Look, this is happening whether you like it or not.” Without waiting for her response, I strode toward the shop, my chin held high. No more struggling to find my place within the pack, no more mooning over someone I could never have. Something in my life needed to change, but I had to be the one to change it.
The bells jingled above my head as I entered the shop. Overstocked aisles and shelves brimming with product. Nothing fancy. It even had its own shrunken woman, seated behind an oak counter, and reading a thick tome.
“Evening, dear,” she called out in a warbled voice.
“Uh, hi…” I minced my way through her shop, my pulse racing as I contemplated the next couple of minutes.
Looked like I was the only customer. It was Valentine’s Day, after all. Couldn’t imagine many frequenting the local magic shop when there were chocolates to eat. Resolved, I squared my shoulders and headed toward the counter.
“A chilly night out there?” She glanced at me over her rims.
I nodded while examining the book. Whatever it was, it wasn’t written in English. Latin, maybe? I’d never been a student of languages. Couldn’t even tell Spanish from French.
“Why don’t you tell me what you need, dear.”
“A spell,” I said without lifting my head. The text was oddly hypnotic.
“Yes, I gathered that much. What kind?”
I placed my arms on the counter and nibbled my bottom lip. Maybe Piper was right. Was this insane? Or was it worse to live the rest of my life as nothing more than human?
The sound of tinkling bells drew my attention. I glanced over my shoulder as Piper stepped inside the shop. Apparently, curiosity killed the wolf as well. She crossed the threshold, her gaze darting around the room as she smoothed down the front of her dress.
“You two coming from a celebration?”
“A wedding,” I stated, before turning back to the woman.
She lifted a knowing brow. “A wedding on Valentine’s Day. Then you’re here for a love potion, I presume.”
Those were real? Not that it mattered. I had no interest in bewitching Mathis. All I wanted was to become a wolf. With that obstacle removed, maybe we could be together. “Oh. Uh, no, actually. What I want is a bit trickier than that.”
She removed her glasses, folded them up, then placed them on top of the book.
Here goes nothing. “I want to become a wolf.”
Could have heard a pin drop in the store. The old woman leaned forward and appraised my whole length. “Are you sure you aren’t one already, dear? You sure smell like a wolf to me.”
“If I were, do you think I’d be here?”
The corner of her mouth lifted before she pressed two weathered fingers to the back of my hand. Her gaze grew distant, her eyes fading to a milky white as she peered right through my soul. “Ah,” she hummed. “I see now. You’re shiftless.”
My mouth pursed. “And I want a spell that will change that. Permanently.”
A condescending smile curled her lips. “Changing yourself for a boy, dear? How boring.”
“It’s not just for a boy,” I forced out through gritted teeth. “It’s for me too. I want to become who I was always meant to be.”
“Meant to be.” She clucked her tongue. “Who’s to say you’re not already?”
“Listen, I didn’t come here for a therapy session. Can you help me or not?”
“Manners, dear. And here I thought we were getting along famously.”
Impatience had my foot tapping.
“As it stands, I have just the thing for you.”
“Juniper, no!” Piper snapped, closing those final steps between us. “Think about this. You’re asking for a spell to change the essence of who you are.”
“Or, I’m asking for a spell to make me complete.”
“Quite astute, dear,” the witch chuckled. “I suppose only you can decide which is correct.”
Piper grabbed my shoulders and spun me around. “I get it. You’re frustrated. And sad. But maybe you don’t see how Mathis watches you. When the two of you aren’t busy dodging each other, his eyes follow you everywhere.”
“Alphas don’t mate with shiftless,” I muttered.
“Alphas can choose whoever they want as a mate,” Piper hissed. “Give it time, Juniper. Please. Tell him how you feel—”
I had given it time. Years, in fact. But I understood the hierarchy. If Mathis took a human as a mate, there would be a mutiny. Those who believed themselves superior would challenge him repeatedly until he fell. All because of who he’d chosen to love. It was political suicide to choose someone like me, and I refused to put him through that.
“This isn’t right!” Piper cried out.
“Well? What’ll it be, dear?” the old woman asked. “I have just the spell for you.”
Brushing away Piper’s hands, I turned and faced the witch. “I want to do this. How much?”
Without answering, the shopkeeper climbed down from her stool and hobbled into a back room, one veiled from sight by a long, dark curtain. At the sound of rustling, I met Piper’s gaze and fiddled with the hem of my jacket. This was the right thing to do. Even now, I could barely contain my excitement. The thought of strutting out of here on four legs, only to run to Mathis’s house was intoxicating.
A couple loud pops echoed in the back room before red smoke wafted from beneath the curtain.
“Oh, this is bad,” Piper muttered. “So, so bad.”
“Lighten up. Worse-case scenario, I’m a vegetable.”
“Magical lobotomy,” she grumbled. “And when you’re slathering on the floor, don’t get mad when I say I told you so.”
“I’ll be too busy slathering on the floor to care.”
Piper scoffed under her breath.
A few more tense moments passed before the witch hobbled back out with a small plate in hand. “Here we are, dear.”
I blinked. Two chocolates sat atop a gold-lined plate next to a small cue card. “Here what is?”
“The chocolate. It’s the spell. I thought it appropriate.” She chuckled and thrust the platter at me.
I stepped back. “We haven’t discussed price yet.”
“Not interested in your money. These sorts of spells need a great deal more than that.”
“Like?”
“You’ll owe me a favor. Collectible when I deem fit.”
“What sort of favor?”
She leaned forward and gave a secretive wink. “Now, where would the fun be in that? You wish to become a werewolf. This spell will grant you that. And in exchange…”
“I’ll owe you,” I mumbled.
Excitement brightened the witch’s face.
With a slow nod, I reached toward the plate and was about to snatch up the first chocolate when the witch batted away my hand. “Mind the card first, dear.”
“What?”
“The card!” She plucked a piece of paper from the plate and thrust it at me.
Sighing, I took it from her and studied the folded parchment. For crying out loud, she’d covered it in damned hearts. I officially hated this holiday. But rather than focus on the stupid red blobs, I read aloud the words scrawled on the card.
Eat one chocolate this very night,
Then another at morning’s first light.
In two days’ time, should you succeed,
Your dream will come true—a new life to lead.
But should you fail, prepare for doo
m,
And spend your nights howling at the moon.
I pondered the last couple of lines, then continued onward. “Side effects include drowsiness, excessive hair growth, mood swings, selective memory loss, kidney failure, and muscle pain. Jesus.”
“What’s all that mean?” Piper mused.
Two nights? “I thought this would be permanent.” I dropped the card down onto the plate and eyed the witch. “You said—”
“I said I had a spell that can help you, but you must become mates with your true love within the two nights.”
“No one said anything about mates.”
The witch eyed me and shook her head. “Those are the rules, dear.”
“What happens if she fails?” Piper whispered.
Her mouth split into a wide grin. “You say you wish to be a wolf? If in two days’ time you have not secured your mate, you will remain a wolf forever.”
“As in…”
“As in a true wolf. No shifting, no human life, no friends, no lovers. Eventually, you’ll become a beast in both body and mind.”
Holy crap on a cracker. That was one hell of a risk. Perhaps too steep? What if he denied me?
“I told you there would be consequences,” Piper hissed. She whirled on her heel and stormed across the store.
“Have you no faith in this man of yours?” the witch needled.
I did. Of course I did. But this wasn’t all about him. This was about changing my lot in life. About making Sloe and the others eat their words. At least if I failed, I wouldn’t remember this. One upside.
Piper growled under her breath and stalked back toward us. “This is so stupid. I want it on record that I think this is a horrible idea.”
“I think we got that already,” I grumbled before turning back to the witch. “The favor?”
“A problem for the future.”
“What if I fail and become a wolf? I won’t be able to do you a favor.”
“If you fail, we’ll call us squared. I won’t require anything from you. But if you succeed…” A wicked grin crossed her face. “Are you ready then, dear?”
“Juniper…” Piper murmured. “This doesn’t feel right.”
Screw not feeling right. I hadn’t felt right my entire life. The way I saw it, this was the only chance I had at ever feeling right. So what if there were risks? As long as those burdens fell on me and only me, I accepted them.
