by C. L. Stacey
The most annoying thing about Jackson is that he never misses a single thing. He knows the gist of my situation with Ari, not everything, but just enough to know how badly I’m struggling right now.
“She’s back. That’s good. So, what’s your problem?”
“The boyfriend.”
“What about him?”
“I hate him?”
“Why?”
“Because he’s the fucking boyfriend!” I snap.
Showing no sympathy for my pain, Jackson says, “Let me give you some advice.”
“I don’t want it.”
Ignoring my rejection, Jackson proceeds with zero fucks given. “What you want is Ari. You’re not going to get her by killing the boyfriend.” His gaze falls to my fists again, balled tight by my side.
“What the fuck do you know?” I seethe.
“Oh, I don’t know, Caleb…” Sarcasm bleeds from his tone. “I’m engaged. You’re alone. You tell me.”
Fucker.
Darkness descends over Jackson’s face just before he steps well into my space. “You were the one who insisted on throwing this party for Lexi,” he says. “If you upset my fiancée tonight, I will make you regret it.”
It doesn’t matter that I’ve got size over Jackson. He holds all the power in this business relationship we share, and my business is my life. Delivering a satisfying punch to his face will only last me about five minutes. But he could take away my entire future with a simple snap of his fingers.
So, I heed Jackson’s warning, exhaling slowly through my nostrils. “What’s your advice?”
“How long has Ariana been gone now?”
“Year and a half.”
“And she only just got back, Caleb,” Jackson reminds me. “Rushing to obtain anything will leave you with nothing. You need to be patient.” I nod. “How long is she in town for? Is this move permanent?”
I shake my head. “I heard her tell Lexi that she’s only back for a movie she’s working on with Johnny Depp over there.”
“Her boyfriend,” Jackson corrects me.
The label stings, only provoking me again. “Yea,” I say through my teeth.
Jackson’s head moves in a nod. “Find out how much time you have, then come up with a plan to make whatever it is you fucked up right.”
“Will that work?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
“How badly you fucked up before.”
Well, that’s no good…
“That’s fucking awesome,” I say dryly.
Jackson’s eyes dart to the side to steal another glance, so quick I almost miss it. “Don’t go losing all hope yet. She’s watching you,” he informs me.
My heart leaps. “Really?”
Jackson’s head jerks back, eyes now dancing with his amusement. “I am speechless.”
“Finally,” I quip.
“She’s done a real number on you, hasn’t she?” Then his eyes widen a fraction more when he thinks he realizes something, but he doesn’t know shit about it. “I don’t fucking believe it…”
“That’s because it’s bullshit,” I come back with a quick defense.
“Is it, though?” Jackson counters with a knowing smile. My lack of response only confirms his suspicions. “My money’s on the girl,” he laughs. “Good for you, Carlisle. It’s time you grew up.”
Just what in the hell is that supposed to mean?
Hearing his voice fill the speakers sent a familiar chill through my veins, spreading rapidly through my body before delivering a painful shock to my heart.
I knew that returning to LA meant running into Caleb again, at some point, but I never expected to see him today. Our run-in at the hospital shocked the hell out of me.
When Lexi went on before, gushing about Caleb to me, I thought she was exaggerating a bit. But his toast clearly confirms that I’d underestimated their bond. He obviously cares about her very much.
From the moment he successfully breaks through the crowd, my eyes remain fixed on his face. He looks the same, like the Caleb I remember. Still sporting that grin, the same one that gave the rest of the world the big fuck you.
I’m taken aback by the way he pulls Lexi in for a grizzly hug, mainly because I’ve never seen him show such affection toward a woman who wasn’t me. Knowing that Caleb has never been too keen on the idea of physical contact, it was an odd thing to witness. He’s so thrilled to see her that he doesn’t seem to notice anything else going on around him.
Their picture-perfect moment mesmerizes me, making it impossible to look anywhere else. The familiarity in that carefree smile reminds me of everything I’d suffered greatly to forget.
Nevertheless, it’s nice to see him happy.
Despite all the anger and resentment, that’s all I’ll ever want for him. I still want very much for him to be happy. I care about him too much to wish him any misfortune.
The things of the past won’t change the fact that Caleb will always be family.
Brody gives my hand a squeeze, reminding me of his presence, and I immediately turn to look his way. “Hey, you.” His mouth draws into a worried frown. “Everything okay?”
No, I think to myself. Everything is not okay, I’m tempted to say, but I don’t.
“I, um…” I stall.
When I get the sudden urge to look Caleb’s way again, I fight to stay with Brody. A battle I hold for a good two seconds before I turn my head.
It seems so cliché when people say that their heart stops when making some sort of connection with someone from across the room, but that’s what happens every time I find myself trapped in the crosshairs of his baby blues.
They aren’t as warm and welcoming as they used to be, but then again, we aren’t what we used to be. His gaze has grown colder, more intense when regarding me now.
Back at the hospital, Caleb made it clear that he wanted to see me tonight. Now, he’s looking at me as if I’m the last person on the planet he wants to see. Then I realize why. His eyes are glued to where my hand is still linked with Brody’s. When he picks his gaze back up, he shakes his head at me.
Unable to do anything else, I just stare back at him like a deer caught in headlights.
Hot, cold, hot, cold. I can’t keep up with him anymore.
A lot has changed in the time we spent apart. Expecting me to come back the same person I was when I left just isn’t fair.
Lexi is talking to Caleb now, and his eyes continue to hold mine a few seconds more before he finally gives her his attention.
When Brody leans in to whisper something into my ear, my body instinctively turns toward his. “Do you need to get some air? You’re looking a little pale, babe.”
“No. I’m fine.”
I smile when Brody presses a kiss against my nose. “You sure?”
I nod. “Promise.”
Brody Spencer first found me naked from the waist up in a retail store. It’s a fun story— one he loves to tell me over and again.
About ten different versions are floating around out there, but this is the way it happened: Brody’s manager had the store shut down for an hour so he could shop in private, and there I was, wallpapered against the back wall of the Denim Gene’s store. He had his team contact my agent, Stella, and then she contacted me right away, asking if I’d agree to a dinner date with Hollywood’s “Sexiest Man Alive.”
I remember, to this very day, what I was doing when I received that call. I was out for my afternoon run in Central Park, all sweaty and gross. I remember laughing, because I was sure Stella was just pulling one of her epic pranks.
There are millions of other women who would swim across a sea of rusty nails just to get to him. I found it hard to understand what the hell he’d want with me. I’d been a pretty well established model by then, but still.
“Um, no, I’m actually serious,” Stella had said.
I was still trying to get over Caleb then, but I accepted Brody’s dinner proposal, looking for something
to take my mind off the pain. He took me out to some swanky restaurant as soon as his plane from LA had touched down in New York. We got along swimmingly. His trusting, chestnut-brown eyes, friendly smile, and easygoing personality didn’t make that part very hard.
A year later, here we are.
Being labeled Brody Spencer’s girlfriend has its ups and downs. You don’t just date the man, you also date all those who love and adore him.
Soon after we made our first public appearance together, the rest of the world decided everything else for us. We were exclusively a couple. As for me, I’m still on the fence. It’s in no way about him. Brody is an amazing guy. He adores me, and I him, but I’m not ready to fully commit. He already knows this and has been nothing short of patient with me.
Labels aren’t necessary. I find them dooming. He’s not my anything, and I’m not his anything. We enjoy each other very much, and that’s that. Simple.
The honest truth is that I’m scared. Did I say scared? I meant scarred.
After all that I’ve been through, I believe that I have every right to be a little guarded.
“Brody Spencer? Oh, my gosh, I’m a fan!” a group of women squeal from a short distance away.
When the flock comes to ogle and worship, Brody leans in to press a kiss against my cheek before herding them a couple feet away to keep them from overcrowding me.
I love that he knows me well enough to do this.
Another thing I’ve learned over the past year is patience; being with Brody makes this a requirement. He’s easily recognized wherever we go, so it makes it impossible to get anywhere, never mind get anything done. I’m now recognized wherever I go, even when I’m not with him. I do the best I can to deal with it, while he does his part to shelter me from it.
Lexi comes rushing to my side as soon as Brody leaves the spot vacant, and I greet her with a sincere smile. “Having fun?” I ask, noting the way her eyes keep darting to Brody.
“Tons,” she answers distractedly. “I have to pee, care to join me?”
I frown. “Something wrong? You look a little jumpy.”
“’Cause I have to pee!” Her eyes roam over the party now, like she’s looking for someone.
“Hey, Lexi…” I grab her gently by the arm, forcing her to look at me. “What’s wrong?” I ask again.
Lexi grabs me by the hand and pulls, dragging me through the crowd. Her top lip tucks in when she bites it, the worry still lingering in her eyes when she turns my way. “I want to apologize… I had no idea you and Caleb had history. I’m sorry if I put you on the spot when I asked you to come here tonight.” Her eyes, full with guilt, stare back at me, waiting for me to say something.
I feel the blood drain from my face, then I feel it all rush back to my cheeks when I’m overcome with embarrassment. “He said something to you about me?”
“Well, no, not exactly…” she trails off.
Not very many people know about my past with Caleb. I don’t understand how Lexi could’ve known about our history if it didn’t come from him directly.
“Look, he really didn’t want to say anything, but I read into it!” she confesses. “It’s kinda my thing, ya know? I pry!”
I wonder what he said, exactly.
Too curious to remain quiet, I seek answers. “What did he say?”
We push through the door marked Ladies, and Lexi practically runs into one of the stalls, slamming the door behind her.
“I’m sorry, I have a bladder the size of a freaking Tic Tac!” she shouts from behind the door.
I giggle to myself, starting the water at one of the sinks to wash my hands while I wait for her to finish relieving herself. Lexi walks out of the stall with a sigh of content, parking herself in front of the sink next to mine.
I reach out to turn the water off and grab a handful of towels, handing Lexi half when she shakes her wet hands out over the counter.
A pair of friends come walking out of a single stall behind us, together, drunkenly laughing at something the other did. Lexi and I exchange funny looks, neither of us saying a thing until the door closes behind them.
“Oh, my God!” Lexi giggles uncontrollably. I join her. Then she jabs a thumb over her shoulder. “Okay, am I just a freak or was that not disgusting?”
“Peeing together? Not so much. Not washing your hands? Hell yes.” I shudder, laughing when Lexi falls apart all over again. “Let’s just pray that whatever they found funny didn’t have anything to do with either of them peeing on their hand.”
When Lexi finally pulls herself together, carefully blotting a fresh paper towel under her eyes to keep tears from falling, she gets around to answering my earlier question. “Okay…” She clears her throat. “So, Caleb didn’t say much. He was very stingy with the details. I was the one asking all the questions.”
“Like what?”
“Well, first, when I called him out for acting like an asshole, he told me it was okay because he knew you. I asked for how long. He told me ten years,” she continues to fill me in as I nod along. “I asked if you two were romantic at all during those ten years…” she trails off, stepping away from the sinks and heading for the exit.
Failing to mask the curiosity in my tone, I ask, “What’d he say?” as I follow closely behind her.
“He changed the freaking subject!” she whines, taking her frustration out on the door, swinging it wide open.
“AGH!” we both scream, and Lexi jumps back into me, knocking me over when Caleb startles the hell out of us.
“Mother of all that is holy!” Lexi shrieks, clapping a hand over her heart. She turns around to check on me. “Ariana, are you alright? Jesus, Caleb, what the hell is the matter with you?” She swats him against the shoulder with her clutch before lowering a hand to me.
Ignoring Lexi completely, Caleb rushes over, stepping into the ladies’ room. “You okay?” he asks, grabbing me by my arms to pull me up.
“I’m fine,” I say, brushing his hands off me. “What the hell were you doing lurking around the women’s restroom anyway?”
Without providing me an actual reason, he asks, “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“In here?” I look around me.
A couple of women stop at the door, eyeing Caleb weirdly while trying to pass through.
“No, obviously not here.” Caleb backs out of the bathroom to let the women by.
Taking the hint neither of us actually laid out, Lexi excuses herself. “I have to go before Jackson sends a search party for me.” She leaves me stranded with Caleb.
“You’re in the way. Come out here and talk to me.” Caleb waves me over to where he’s standing.
With an apologetic smile to a few others trying to enter, I do as he bids and step out to join him in the crowded hallway.
“What’s up?” I ask casually.
Caleb looks around the tight space, dissatisfied with the amount of traffic. He places a hand against my back and steers me away, leading me back up the hall, toward the main part of the club. “I see your boyfriend made it,” he says, tone bitter.
“Yea, he didn’t want me to have to come alone.”
“You wouldn’t have been alone.”
“What’d you want to talk to me about, Caleb?” I ask, steering us away from where the conversation is slowly heading.
Caleb stops after parking me in front of a high top in the corner.
Semi-private, I guess.
We stand in awkward silence when he doesn’t answer my question right away. I watch as he places a hand against the tabletop, leaning some of his weight against it for support while looking at everything but me. “You mentioned earlier that your move is temporary, how long are you back for?”
“Why?”
“It’s just a question, Ari.”
“I have no idea, Caleb. Six months, maybe?”
The muscles along his jaw tense before he finally meets my gaze. “Are you living with him?”
My eyes widen when his question catche
s me off guard. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“Are you shacking up with him? Answer me,” he demands.
“No! I’ve rented my own space.”
His eyes soften a little when content with my response, a sign of relief. “You sure you want to move here?” he asks, challenging me in a way.
“I’m booked up here for the next six months. It’s easier this way.”
He’s silent again for a few beats, his gaze calculating. “Staying away from you while you were living on the other side of the country was difficult enough. You’re in my city now, Ari.”
My face twists with confusion. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means you should’ve stayed in New York.”
I lean over the table, bringing myself close enough so he can hear me over the music. Caleb’s gaze drops to my smushed cleavage, and I contemplate strangling him, but I don’t. I slam my hand against the tabletop, and he takes his time when redirecting his attention with an unapologetic smirk. “I didn’t come here for you. I came here to work. Don’t make this difficult, stay away from me.”
Dismissing my warning with one of his chuckles, Caleb manages to suck all the weight and promise behind it, making it fall flat. “I ran into you this morning without even trying, Ari. I believe they call that a clear-cut sign. Some may even call it fate.”
This is exactly the version of Caleb I remember. With me, he hasn’t changed one bit. Everything’s a joke to him. It riles me up, and it’s just what he wants, but I can’t help how much I can’t stand him right now. My feelings for him are very complex. I care for him, deeply, but at the same time, I can’t fucking stand him.
“It’s just bad luck,” I say. “Don’t confuse it for something it’s not. I’m with Brody.”
All trace of humor vanishes from Caleb’s face, and for a second, he almost looks wounded by the claim.
I watch him swallow whatever comeback he had planned to spit at me, exchanging it for a question I wasn’t expecting. “Are you happy with him?”
While holding Caleb’s gaze steady with mine, I respond confidently. “He doesn’t make me cry.”
The muscles along his jaw tick when he bites down, and then he takes a step back from the table. “Good for you, Ari.”
