“I’m kidding, Ian. Besides, you’ll have plenty of time to find the right woman to spend the rest of your life with. The point of talking to your mother is convincing her that you deserve the opportunity to try.”
We come to a stop outside the wide doors to the queen’s sitting room. Soft voices from inside echo across the smooth floors at our feet, threatening to steal our confidence with each muffled word.
“Are you ready?” I nudge his arm, pulling his attention to my face.
“More than you know,” he says.
ↄ
“Let me see if I understood this correctly.”
Queen Rosaline sits straight-backed in her cream-colored chair. The ruby fabric of her elegant dress lightens the shade of her hair, pulling on its hues until she looks like the sun—planted still in the middle of the room while the rest of us orbit around her. And just as with the sun, it’s important not to get too close.
Lest we all get burned.
When we first walked into the room, what feels like hours ago, the queen’s eyes had sharpened at the space between our hips. The distance between our hands. It was then I knew we were in for trouble.
“After dreaming of a marriage to Brave for your entire life, you spend several interesting nights in the woods, only to have suddenly decided you no longer wish for her hand? Forgive me, son, if I do not follow your direction as quickly as you seem to change yours.”
The slight is a bold one, layered with a heavy tone. Ian shifts on the couch, leaning closer to my side. Begging for any support he can get, even if it is from the girl with the sharp tongue and a wild streak to match.
I wish my boldness hadn’t left me the moment we came through those doors.
“Then you’ll have to forgive me, Mother, for not speaking clearly until now. You are correct, in that I have thought about marrying Penelope my entire life. But you are not correct in assuming this was my own wish, dreamt from my very heart. As I stated earlier, a marriage between Theron and Orien was your wish, not mine. While I did hope for a union full of love, after we met, it became clear all I would be giving up.” He grimaces, trying to soften his message by taking my hand. “That we would be giving up. Penelope and I are the greatest of friends, but we believe that is all we will ever be.”
“But every solid foundation is layered in friendship. It was the same for Liam and me.” She rises from her chair, pacing the floor in her tall, ivory heels. “This doesn’t have anything to do with that young man, does it?”
I look up to find her gaze pinned on my face, searching my expression for any hint of the true fissure between our relationship. I decide I might as well not try to hide the inevitable. If I want a life with Aras, I must be upfront about my wishes. “If you’re referring to Aras Renn, then yes, it very much has to do with him.”
I expect angry, hurtful words to be lashed out like a cat clawing at its prey, so I’m caught off guard when her features relax, and an obvious release of tension spirals into the air. “I can’t say I didn’t suspect as much, at least not until recently. I used to watch the two of you, the constant back and forth, the heated mistrust against a solid bond. It had the markings of a love cut short before it could grow. But then, a little over a week ago, something changed. Aras changed, as if his eyes had been clouded and now he could finally see. I assume that’s when Vivi got involved.”
I blink back tears at her perception of us, the accurate portrayal of his fall into darkness and rise into light. While we were upfront about breaking Aras’ promise, we never explained exactly how much my father’s curse had changed him. Ruled him. As far as they knew, Aras would only be tempted to treat us unkindly if Knox were to give him a direct command, something he couldn’t do until the wedding. To tell her the full truth now would mean threatening Aras’ safety in Theron. If they thought he was ever a danger to Ian, or to anyone for that matter, they wouldn’t care if he walked through their gates again or not.
So I chose to keep his secret safe. Our secret safe. Because when we’ve come so far, it feels as though we are already one.
“It’s true; Aras had feelings for me that he felt he couldn’t express. It wasn’t until recently that he opened up and allowed himself to feel what was already there.”
Understanding dawns in her eyes, and she shifts her gaze to Ian where he sits pressed against my side. “And this changed your feelings for my son?”
Ian sends a gentle nudge to my shoulder, a patient smile coating his lips. “No, not changed, but confirmed. Penelope’s heart was decided long before we met. While I tried to make her feel otherwise, it quickly became evident that what is meant to be should be.”
Queen Rosaline sighs, returning to her chair with an elegant flourish of crimson hues. “I was deeply in love before I met your father,” she says, words so quiet they’re barely above a whisper. “Much like Brave, I was asked to marry someone who I didn’t choose. At the time, I didn’t complain, because I always knew my role in Theron’s society. The powerful marry the strong—it’s the way our world works—and I was excited to be one of our kingdom’s greatest assets.”
Ian stirs in his seat, an uncomfortable blush lining his cheeks. “Mother—”
“It’s all right, son.” She holds up her hand, a gentle rebuke to his plea. “The point is, I married your father as his friend. It wasn’t until many years later that our friendship turned into love. I’m only saying that the same would be true for you, if only you’d have it.”
Ian shakes his head. He reaches out, turning my cheek with his palm. An icy sting washes against my skin, just as I know a warm heat burns against his. We are opposites, Ian and I, but even in our differences, we still share strings that bind us together. A friendship forged out of force, but tended out of love.
“I believe it when you say the same could be true for us. I’ve spent many nights dreaming about our future. The laughter. The friendship. The green-eyed children with hair as light as gold or as dark as night. I’ve thought of it all, but each time, I always come back to this.” He drops his hand, placing it over my heart. “I don’t want to force my wife’s love; I want to own it. I want my wife to care for me more than any other in the world, and I want to give her my everything in return. Overtime, Penelope may come to love me, but it’s not enough. We need more; we deserve it.”
My pulse patters in my throat, the feel of my future fraying at the edges and slicing free. With little regard for his mother, I pull him to my chest, surrounding him in the warmest of hugs. Ian laughs against my shoulder, only breaking away when the queen clears her throat.
“Then I suppose we have decisions to make, starting with how Brave plans to keep our kingdoms united once we’re rid of Knox’s threat.”
I smile, the last of my worries evaporating into the sun. “Thankfully, I can take care of that.”
I’m just not sure everyone is going to like it.
Twenty-Seven
The next day is spent much the same as the last, stuck between hope that Vivi and Aras will arrive back safe, and worry Knox’s army will arrive even sooner than we think. According to the plan, he’s set to meet me at the palace in two days. Two days. And the only thing we’ve accomplished is a treaty that might as well be signed in my blood.
When Papa had arrived at the palace late last night, he brought news of much the same. Knox’s army is on the move, taking the long way around the mountain, while Knox and his circle of promised men plan to take the tunnel connecting the two kingdoms.
Unfortunately for us, Vivi and Aras are still nowhere in sight.
With their fates uncertain and our backs against the wall, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made the right decision in their absence, secured their future to a path they may not want to take. When I told Queen Rosaline I had a plan, I meant what I said, and now, I’ve sealed the words with my life.
“Come, Brave. Have a look at the stars.”
Mother calls me from where she sits on her balcony, a blanket of lights shining down o
n her from above. Beside her, Papa is curled into a tight ball, his tail flicking every time she moves. He’s been quiet since he’s gotten back, probably because he feels bad he didn’t have better news to share, but also because he’s just as worried as me.
Sitting up with a yawn, I unfurl myself from her comfy bed, the one place I’ve found refuge since we’ve returned. Padding across the room, I step out onto the balcony, trying hard and failing to cover my awe. The stars around us shimmer and dive through the dark nothingness above, making me feel like a tiny speck in a grand ocean of brilliance.
She pats the railing with her slender hand, prompting me to stand by her side. For a while, she says nothing, simply staring out into the stars as if she were reading the lines of her favorite book. Then, when she’s finally had her feel, the words written and burned within her soul, she speaks. “Do you know why I always wanted you to look to the stars?”
Her question startles me, sending a hiccup through my thoughts. Until a few months ago, I had looked to the stars because I thought my mother was dead, living within their glory and shining down on me with love. Protection. But now I know her final words to mean something much more—a connection. A single path from my heart to hers.
A destiny carved in blazing sparks of light.
“Because you wanted to give me a way to find you, whether you were here on this earth or drifting away in the heavens above.”
Her eyes shine with approval, a proud acceptance of my words, and I know I’ve chosen them well. “Yes, it’s true I wanted to keep our connection alive, keep you close even when you were out of reach… but I also wanted you to see the truth of your path, and trust the way of your destiny. Trust me.”
I reach for her hand. Her fingers curl around mine, a cooling moon against the heated sun. And even though she lied to me, stayed away from me for all those years, I know she did it to protect me. To help me follow this wild path the universe seems determined to make me take, but to also make me push for my own paths as well.
When I speak, my answer is sure and true. “There’s no one else I trust more.”
She reaches for my face, gently raising my chin to meet her good eye. “Then tell me this, daughter—how do you feel? And I’m not talking about on the surface,” she adds, pointing to my head. “I’m talking about right here.” Her hand comes to rest above my heart, a knowing hint of sympathy lacing her voice.
It takes all I have not to crumble at her feet.
“I’m fine, Mother,” I whisper, afraid my voice will break if I speak too loud. “It’s Vivi we should be worried about.”
Her lips purse, and she drops her hand, tipping her head back up to the stars. “You don’t have to hide your feelings from me, Brave. You are a part of me, sewn from my very soul. When you are sad or angry or happy, I carry those same emotions with me.” She looks down, the tips of her lashes wet from blinking back the tears. “We share a special connection, my love. We always have and we always will. You aren’t in my heart—you are my heart. Please, let me help you find joy again.”
I lunge for her, the weight of my burdens lifted as she wraps her arms around me, the tightest of hugs with the grandest of promises. Together, we stand, the unshakeable spirit of my mother and the budding strength of her daughter.
It feels as though we could do anything.
“She betrayed me. My loyal, boar-headed sister ran off and betrayed me. She broke my trust and hurt my heart by endangering her life and the life of the boy I love. And how do I repay her? I repay her with a betrayal of my own.”
Mother coos tenderly at my admission, running her cool hands down my back and up again. Denial of what’s been done. Of what I’ve done.
When I told Queen Rosaline I had a solution, I was so caught up in the moment I didn’t stop to think about the repercussions. I especially didn’t stop to think about the feelings of Vivi and Aras. By taking hold of my fate, I also took hold of theirs.
The problem is that I’m not sure of the path they wanted to take.
“You didn’t betray your sister, and she didn’t betray you,” Mother says, loosening her hold so she can see my face. “Whatever decision Vivi has made, it is for the benefit of everyone, not unlike the decision you made today. At the end of this journey, we’ll all find our own path to happiness, no matter who we feel may have interfered.”
I huff, dead certain I’ve done more than interfere. I’ve downright changed lives. “She’ll hate me when she finds out what I’ve done. And Aras? I can’t begin to determine how he’ll feel now that—”
“Aras will feel exactly the same as the day he did when I pulled him into my lap and told him the story about a girl of fire who would change the world. He will love you and he will want you, all the days of his life… no matter what those days hold. And Vivi? All she’s ever wanted was to break free of these walls with her strong sister by her side. You’ve given them both what they need, Brave. You mustn’t feel bad because you were the one to sign on the line.”
“I know, Mother, but—”
The door to Mother’s chambers swings open, causing Papa’s claws to scratch and slide against the stone floor. When he bounds inside the room, Mother and I race after him, surprised to find a panting Ian waiting by the entry. He looks up, expression full of worry.
“Sam is back, Penelope, and he has news of Vivi.”
I stumble past Papa, the heat of my conversation with Mother still fresh on my cheeks. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”
He grabs my hand and pulls me forward, stopping just short of the door. His brow furrows, eyes downcast as he chews on his next words.
“Ian?” I prod, suddenly aware of what he said… and more importantly, what he hadn’t. A trickle of fear runs down my back. “What aren’t you telling me?”
He hesitates, looking over my shoulder to Mother as if he wants to make sure she’ll be there to catch me if I fall. My heart quickens, a pounding pulse sent ringing to my ears. “He also has news of Aras, but he wouldn’t say what. He said he’d like to speak with you alone first.”
Vaguely, I register the feel of my head, nodding with understanding as I allow him to pull me into the hall. But then, it’s a blur. A cool, white tunnel of fear filled with muted sounds and hollow thoughts.
Yet another forced path I wish I didn’t have to take.
Twenty-Eight
Ian leads me down the twisting hallways, a fast and vigorous pace set by nerves alone. Every few feet, I feel his gaze on my cheek, a quick check to make sure I’m still with him rather than passed out atop the cool floors. Each time, I pay him no heed, instead focusing on the feel of my boots as I place one step in front of the other. After all, I’m hanging onto his arm like a starved woman, clenched tight to his tunic in case my limbs give out and I fall on my face.
He has a right to be concerned.
“Here we are,” he says, pulling up beside the grand mahogany doors.
Out of reflex, my body lurches back, banging into Ian’s chest. He stumbles before righting himself, catching my arms as if he thinks I’m about to fall. “Why are we at your chambers?”
A rosy blush coats his cheeks, and he shakes his head, clearing the near embarrassment as much as he can. “Sam said he wanted to speak with you alone; I figured my chambers would be the best place to ensure you wouldn’t be interrupted.”
“Wouldn’t be interrupted? Is it really so serious that even his prince can’t be in the room?” My nose wrinkles, causing my lips to press down in a firm line. “Where are you going to be while we meet?”
Ian opens the door, gesturing me in with his free hand. A timid curiosity lines his face, and although I know he’d like to learn what Sam has to say, he’s leery of his words all the same. Much like me. “I’ll be outside if you need me.”
Then the door is shut, and I’m left alone with the brooding boy who paces the floor in straight, rigid lines, from one elegant chaise to the next. He freezes when I clear my throat, so lost in his heavy thoughts
that he didn’t hear me enter. His left foot starts to move in my direction, but he halts himself midstep, a flash of indecision crossing his face. Then he huffs, mind apparently made up, and strides to my side in four giant steps. Before I can speak, his arms are around me, pulling me tight to his chest. I stiffen in his hold, the worst of my fears stealing the deadly magic from my bones.
My Aras. Something truly horrible has happened, and Sam didn’t want to tell me in front of the others. It’s the only reason that can explain his wild behavior… the private meeting, the awkward hug… he has news all right, but it’s not the kind I want to hear.
“Sam?” I choke, both from the tightness of his hug and the words he has yet to say.
At the sound of his name, he breaks away, running a quick hand through his sweaty hair. “Sorry. That was from Aras. He said if I didn’t give you a hug, he’d kill me the next time we met. I don’t know about you, but I’m inclined to believe him.”
I threaten to collapse, my hands finding my knees just before my head tumbles over my feet. “You spoke to Aras? He’s safe?”
Sam’s eyes dart to the side, and he tugs on my elbow, leading me to the chaise. He plops down beside me, paying little attention to the mud his boots have streaked across the floor. “I did speak to him, but I cannot say if he is safe.” He quiets, meeting me in the eyes. “Actually, I can say he’s just the opposite. Knox has him, Brave, and I think the only reason he is still alive is to make an example out of you.”
“What!” The word explodes from my mouth, causing him to jerk with surprise. “And what of Vivi? Does he wish to make an example out of her as well?”
Sam’s features turn serious, a deadly precision that I’ve yet to see on his young face. “I didn’t see Vivi, but from what I gathered from Aras, she’s fine. Knox will bring her to Theron, and if he plans to harm her, it won’t be until after they arrive. Right now, Aras is being held with Knox’s circle of promised men, deep in the woods outside of our walls. Vivi is being kept away from Aras, housed in her own tent, but free to move about the camp. Everyone is waiting for Knox to make his appearance. When he does, they’ll march through the mountain together.”
The Reigning Star (The Orien Trilogy, Book 3) Page 15
