by Unknown
“Maybe we will,” Gabe says, like it’s the best idea he’s ever heard.
“Um, no. We won’t.” I sit up, and scoot to the edge of the bed. “You’re still recovering and I was being careless. That was stupid of me. It won’t happen again. And if you try anything, I’ll take Toby’s bed and you can sleep with him.”
Gabe laughs. “Fine. I won’t touch you… tonight anyway.”
Saturday, December 18
7am
Perfect Timing
We get up super early to board our cruise, and while I am sad that my mom isn’t boarding with me, I am also super excited. Before moving in with my dad, my mom was my only family. Now I have a bigger family than I ever imagined, and I’m excited about spending Christmas with them in Hawaii.
When we get to our rooms, I am shocked. I guess when I pictured the rooms, I pictured tiny rooms where you barely have room to move, but that’s not the case. My room is pretty big, about the size of a hotel room. I have a huge king-sized bed with a fluffy white comforter on it. I also have a small closet where I can hang my clothes, a desk, a mini fridge that is stocked with water and soda, and a very nice bathroom.
I quickly get dressed, putting on a bikini with a sundress over it. We are going to eat breakfast, but Veronica said it was casual. I’m pretty sure Gabriel and I are going to hit the pool after eating.
As soon as I walk out my door, I see Gabe coming out of his room. His room is literally right across the hall from mine, which is convenient. We will probably be spending the night with each other anyway.
“That dress is hot,” he says, putting his hands on my waist and pulling me closer.
“Thanks. Your mom picked it out,” I tell him.
He’s right. This dress does look good on me. It’s dark blue, spaghetti strapped, and goes halfway down my thighs. I’m wearing a matching dark blue bikini with white polka dots underneath it and matching flip flops.
“My mom obviously has good taste.”
I laugh and grab his hand.
We walk to breakfast, and when we get there Toby and Victoria are sitting at the table. They both have huge smiles on their faces, and they’re whispering in each other’s ear. It’s really sweet and really disgusting at the same time.
“Gross,” I say, taking a seat by Toby. Gabe sits on the other side of me.
He turns to glare at me. “I don’t even want to hear it. You and Gabe are the worst.”
“Are you two already fighting?” Dad asks, taking a seat at the table.
“No,” I answer.
“Good,” he says. “I want to be able to enjoy this trip, and I won’t enjoy it if you two bicker the whole time.”
“We are done fighting,” Toby says. “Kihanna has come to her senses and has seen the error of her ways.”
His comment makes me roll my eyes.
“What about you and Gabriel?” my dad asks me. “Are you two together on this trip, or are you broken up again?”
Gabe grabs my hand under the table.
“We’re definitely together,” Gabe answers for me.
“You two do have a complicated relationship,” Victoria says. “I’m still confused. Before homecoming, I really thought you were in love with Ty. And I don’t blame you for dumping him after what he did, but then you came back from Thanksgiving break basically in love with Gabe. I guess I just expected you to be heartbroken. A lot of people think you were dating both of them at the same time.”
I think about what she’s saying, and she’s right. I wasn’t heartbroken. I should have been. I never had time to really get over Ty before I jumped into a relationship with Gabriel.
“Well, I wasn’t dating them both at the same time,” I tell her. She knows it, but I need to make sure everybody at the table knows. I don’t want my dad to think that I dated them at the same time. With the way I’ve been acting lately, I wouldn’t blame him for thinking I was. “I think I got over Ty so quickly because I wasn’t ever in love with him. I should have been honest with him when he told me that he loved me, but I was scared to hurt his feelings.”
“How long did you wait before you said it to Gabriel?” Victoria asks.
My dad is looking at me as he waits for my answer. I bite my lip, because I am scared to answer this question. Gabe told me he loved me the same night that I broke up with Ty, and I don’t want to admit it. Mostly because I said it back to him, and now I regret telling him so quickly.
Before I can answer, Libby and Veronica arrive at the table, followed by Jack. I breathe a sigh of relief.
Perfect timing.
10am
Waterslide.
After breakfast, Gabe and Toby go to Gabe’s room. They’re going to hack the guest list. I want to be there with them, but we can’t let Victoria know what we’re doing. So she and I head to the pool. It’s going to be hard to hide the secret from Victoria. She’s going to be with us twenty-four seven the next two weeks. I just hope she doesn’t pick up on it, because I don’t want her involved. I want her to be safe.
“Do a lot of people at school really think bad of me?” I ask her. I don’t want people to think that I dated both Gabe and Ty at the same time. I don’t want to be the girl that everybody calls a whore, because I’m not.
“No,” Victoria says. “Everybody knows that you’re very innocent, and everybody knows you didn’t sleep with Ty. The people who think you dated both guys at the same time don’t think bad about you. You’re not the first girl who has done it, and you probably won’t be the last. Ty and Gabe tend to have the rivalry when it comes to girls. They always want what the other one has.”
Her words scare me a little. Am I just a game piece to them? Will Gabe dump me the second Ty gets a new girlfriend? Or maybe he will be like Ty and just sleep with us both.
No. Gabriel isn’t like that. He wouldn’t do that to me.
“He’s different with you,” Victoria says when she sees the look on my face. “Both of them are. Before you, it was a game. Now it seems… serious. I’ve never seen Ty work so hard to win a girl back before.”
As soon as the words leave her mouth, my phone goes off. I don’t get cell service, but my phone is connected through the WiFi on the ship. It’s an iMessage from Ty.
Ty Neman: I miss you. I have considered getting on a plane and flying to Hawaii. Would that be weird?
Me: Considering that you are my EX… YES, it would be weird.
Ty Newman: :(
I put my phone on silent and put it inside my bag. “He just doesn’t give up,” I tell her.
“Have you thought about giving him a second chance?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No way. He cheated on me. I think that it would be weak of me to take him back.”
“I don’t think it would be weak,” Victoria says. “I really think that he’s learned his lesson. And everybody deserves a second chance.”
I wonder why Victoria is acting like this. She’s very strong-willed, and it seems like she would be the one encouraging me to get back at him for cheating. It’s definitely not in her nature to encourage me to take him back.
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell her. “I’m with Gabe now.”
She nods, but doesn’t say anything.
“Why are you on Ty’s side anyway?” I ask.
“I’m not on anybody’s side,” she answers, a bit snippy. “Let’s just drop it.”
“Okay,” I say. I definitely want to talk about something else, because this conversation is awkward. “Do you want to go on the waterslide?”
Her eyes widen. “I’m scared of waterslides.”
“Seriously? What is there to be scared of?”
“For one, the height,” she answers. “Just the walk up terrifies me. And two, I hate being in an enclosed space.”
“Then we will ride the red one,” I tell her. “It’s not enclosed. And I will walk up with you, so there is nothing to be scared of.”
She takes a deep breath. “Fine. I’ll try. But only because I want
to conquer my fear. Everybody says it’s fun, and I don’t want to miss out anymore.”
“It is fun,” I promise.
We leave our stuff by the pool, and I feel comfortable doing so. The security on this boat is good, plus most of the people on here are families trying to enjoy their Christmas holiday. I don’t think anybody is going to steal my stuff. But I do grab my camera. I have a waterproof shell around it, and I think it would be fun to make a video of us going down the slide.
As we walk to the waterslide, Victoria grabs my hand. It’s weird holding her hand, because it’s so small. I’m used to Gabe’s large hands. I let her hold it, because I know she’s scared.
When we get to the top, Victoria is ghostly white.
“Will you go down with me?” she asks.
“Of course,” I say.
I get in front, and Victoria gets behind me. She looks like she is going to back out, but then a look of determination comes over her and we slide down. Behind me I hear Victoria’s swift intake of breath, and then she screams. At first, the scream sounds terrifying, but about halfway down her screams change. They sound like enjoyment. Victoria is actually enjoying this. I knew she would, but I am relieved. As soon as we get to the bottom, we both run right back up and do it again.
1pm
I’m taking my life back.
Around one, Victoria and I start to get hungry so we head back to grab our stuff. Halfway there, we are met by Toby and Gabe. They look freaked out, but relieved to see me. My heart accelerates, but then they look at Victoria. She doesn’t know anything, and they can’t say anything in front of her.
Toby put his arm around Victoria. “Come get lunch with me.”
She nods, and together they walk away. I turn to Gabriel.
“Where is your phone?” he asks, before I have a chance to talk.
“By the pool. Victoria and I were having fun on the waterside,” I answer. “Why?”
Gabriel pulls out his phone and hands it to me. There is an email on Gabe’s phone from me.
Kihanna: You think I am stupid enough to be caught so easily? You’re mistaken. You won’t find out who I am until I am ready for you to know. I am everywhere, right in front of your face, but you won’t see. Buckle up, because I am just getting started.
Below the email is a picture of Victoria and me. We are in line for the waterslide. The picture was literally taken right in front of us, but we never knew. We never saw.
“How could I not notice this?” I ask him, still in shock.
“I don’t know,” he says. “But I am going to figure this out.”
We walk back to where I left my stuff, and everything is in its exact place. Even my phone is right where I left it.
“I don’t want you and Victoria alone anymore. It’s not safe here. From now on you need to stay with Toby or me.”
“And what are you two going to be able to do that I can’t?” I ask.
Gabe’s face drops. “Nothing, Kihanna. I would just feel better if you stayed with us. This whole situation absolutely sucks, but what are we supposed to do? I just hate that we are no closer to figuring out who did this than we were a few weeks ago. I need to know who is doing this to you. I need to stop them.”
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him. “This person is a sick freak, and there is nothing that you or I can do to stop them.”
“We’ll see about that,” he says with determination. “The bastard is going to pay.”
What Gabe says equally frightens and excites me. I am at my breaking point, and I want to fight. But at the same time, what am I willing to sacrifice to stop them? My family? My friends? Gabriel? Where do I draw the line? What is too much?
All I know is that if I don’t fight back, I am a coward. No matter what the risk, I have to fight. And I have to win. I can’t let this person take away anything else from me.
Before, I was scared into doing what my stalker wanted. But now, I am pissed, and I am going to fight to the death if I have to. Not only for those that I care about, but for me too. I’m taking my life back.
5pm
What if?
I’m ready for dinner early, so I pull out my laptop and sign into Staying Connected. The second I’m on, Ty messages me.
Ty Newman: Hey. Are you having fun on your trip?
Part of me wants to ignore him, but I decide to reply. Ty is my friend. I have already forgiven him for cheating on me, and I’ve moved on. I wish Ty would too, but I don’t see that happening. Though, I am grateful for his friendship. It would be rude to ignore him.
Me: Sort of. It’s been crazy. I thought my stalker would leave me alone, but they’re not. The person is here on the ship, and I’m scared of what they might do.
Ty Newman: I need to come to Hawaii, Kihanna. I can’t fathom the thought of you going through that without me there to help. I want to be there for you.
Me: I have Gabriel. And Toby. You can’t just fly to Hawaii. You need to enjoy your Christmas break… Spend time with your family.
Ty Newman: My dad and stepmom are in Europe right now. They’re basically pretending I don’t exist. I’m sure their lives would be better if I didn’t.
Me: Don’t say that. Your dad loves you.
Even as I type the words, I wonder if they’re true. Mike, his dad, was never around when I was there. Neither was Angela, his mom… or stepmom. I actually didn’t know that Angela wasn’t his real mom, though I guess I should have. She looks so young. The only time I ever got to see Mike and Angela was at social events, and even then they hardly ever spoke to Ty.
Ty Neman: He doesn’t. He hates me, just like he hated my mom.
Hated. As in past tense. I wonder what happened to his mom, and I wonder if it would be rude to ask him. I am about to type the words when there is a knock on my door. It’s Gabriel. I type a quick goodbye to Ty and shut my computer. I make a mental note to ask him about his mom later.
“Do you want to go for a walk out on the deck before dinner?” Gabe asks. “The sun is about to set, and I want to watch it with you.”
I can’t help but smile when he asks me. Gabriel isn’t a romantic guy at all. Ty brought me flowers once a week, but Gabe never has. It’s not like I care, but it is nice to be romanced every now and then.
Gabe grabs my hand, and together we walk to the deck. There aren’t many people out there because most people are getting ready for dinner, and I’m glad for the privacy. Gabriel puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. I rest my head against his chest as we look out at the ocean. All you can see is water, and I wonder how far it goes.
The sun starts going down, and we watch as it slowly disappears into the water.
“Kihanna?” I hear Gabe whisper.
“Yeah,” I say, never moving my head.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” I say back, but as the words leave my mouth I wonder if they’re true. Is this really love? Have I even known Gabe long enough to love him?
“A year from now, when we are right here we will look back and think how crazy life was. But things are going to be okay. I just know that you will be fine.”
I lift my head up. “What makes you think everything will be okay?”
“It’s just a feeling I have,” he answers.
“I wish I had your optimism.” When I think of my life a year from now, I have no idea what it will be like. Will I be dead? Will all my family be dead and I’ll be alone? Will I be locked up in somebody’s basement? I have no idea, but I don’t think it will be good.
“It’s easy to be optimistic for me. I’m so in love with you, and I can’t imagine anything bad happening to you. I just… can’t… lose you.” Gabe frowns as he says it, and I know he’s thinking what if. What if I don’t make it? It’s a very real, very scary possibility.
“Sometimes I think death would be better than the alternative.”
This causes Gabe to wince, but he doesn’t say anything. There really isn’t anything more to say. He
just wraps his arms around me to hug me, but he doesn’t let go. I don’t want him to. Somehow, being in his arms gives me hope. He is my reason to fight, and my reason to hold on. Gabriel will be the reason that I make it through this.
7pm
Seasick.
Gabriel and I are the last ones at the dinner table. I didn’t want to leave the deck. I wanted to stay out there in his arms all night.
When we sit down, I look up at Veronica. I’m surprised to see that she’s not wearing make up and her hair is a little messed up.
“Are you feeling alright?” I ask her.
“I’m just a little seasick,” she says.
“If you have seasickness then why do you guys take a cruise once a year?” Victoria asks. I’m wondering why as well. There is no way I’d put myself through this misery every year if it made me sick.
“I have never gotten seasick before,” Veronica answers. “I took some motion sickness pills, but they didn’t help. I have an appointment with the doctor on the ship tomorrow to see if there is anything else we can do.”
A few seconds later, our food is set in front of us. Veronica gets up from her chair and runs out. Dad follows her, and I immediately feel bad for her.
“Poor Veronica,” Libby says sadly.
Veronica must be really sick if she didn’t take the time to fix her hair or makeup.
A few minutes later, Dad comes back to the table but Veronica never does. He tells us that she’s just going to go to bed.
