I put the truck in park and turned to face him, determined to be civil if only because I felt a little bit sorry for him, or at least that's what I convinced myself.
"You can get out now," I told him, and I wondered where my determination to be nice had gone.
He winked at me and reached for the door handle. "Thanks for the ride, babe," he added.
"Keller, wait!"
He twisted back towards me, but his fingers remained on the door's handle.
"What? Can't stand the thought of me leaving?"
"Can't stand the thought of you, might be a more accurate statement," I shot back but added a small grin to show him I wasn't quite serious. “Actually, I realized I never asked you why you were even at the school tonight."
That slow, lopsided grin he always wore spread across his face. He let go of the door and fully turned to face me.
Instead of immediately answering, Keller leaned over and gently touched the side of my face with the back of his hand exactly where I knew a light bruise had to be showing by now.
"Looks like you're getting a little bit of a bump there, sweetheart. Bad day at gym?"
The side of my head was still sore, but the only thing that was bothering me now were the butterflies in my stomach from the second his skin made contact with mine.
"You didn't answer my question," I said, avoiding his, the same way he'd avoided mine.
Keller sighed and moved away from me.
I had an insane desire to lean across the cab of the truck and grab his hand back, but I resisted the urge, holding my hands tightly together in my lap.
The rain had finally stopped, but the sky outside was dark and gray creating an intimate atmosphere inside the interior of the truck's cab. It felt like we were a million miles away from everyone even though we were both close to home.
"It's no big mystery, really," Keller finally answered. "I needed something at school, so I went back to get it." He eyed the history book I'd thrown on the floorboard. "Same as you."
"You didn't get anything, though," I pointed out.
"That’s where you’re wrong," he winked. "I got you to drive me home."
I laughed at his quick comeback.
Knowing I wouldn't get anything out of him that he wasn't willing to give, I was about to tell him goodbye when he surprised me with a question of his own.
"What do you think happened back there, at the school?" The smirk he usually wore was missing. For a moment I could almost believe he was concerned about me.
I shrugged one shoulder which made the towel I had draped across me slip a little.
"Keller, if I ask you something, will you promise not to laugh?"
His quick nod was the only confirmation he gave, but for some reason it gave me the confidence I needed to ask my question.
"Do you believe there's evil in the world?"
"Yes," he replied without hesitation.
The intenseness of his gaze helped me believe he wouldn't laugh this time if I told him what I was thinking. The words poured quickly from me. I was afraid if I didn't start talking I might not say what I really wanted to, and I needed to tell someone, if for no other reason than to make sure I wasn't crazy.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before I began. "Ever since I can remember, I've felt like there was something always near me, something that wasn't good, waiting for me - hiding in the night when I cut off the lights, waiting in a darkened corner or lurking in the shadows. I suppose it's the normal feeling children have when they're in bed all alone and I should have grown out of it by now, but it's like I can't because I know it's still out there. Whatever it is, and for some reason it's there, waiting just for me."
My eyes searched his to see if he thought I was crazy. I was surprised but also relieved to see his face was serious, intent. He moved his head slightly, silently encouraging me to continue.
"Well, anyway, that's how I felt this afternoon. Like the evil was all around me."
I rubbed one hand over my face and then back through my wet hair. "I can't believe I'm telling you all of this. It's so embarrassing. You probably think I'm about nine years old and still afraid of the boogey man."
Keller's eyes went from my face and then moved lower as I realized the towel covering my wet shirt had fallen to my lap.
"I assure you, I am well aware that you are not a child."
There was no smile this time in his voice, no smirk meant to make me uncomfortable. Then he moved and filled the space between us.
His hands moved up my arms and pulled me close. He was warm despite the rain that still lingered on his skin.
His check rested against my own as he whispered in my ear, "If you believe there’s evil in this world, then you must also believe in magic, in things that are good." He leaned back and his eyes searched mine. "Can you, sweetheart? Can you believe in magic?"
His lips so close to my ear, moved lower and brushed against the base of my neck. My own hands moved without hesitation to the back of his head, running through his hair, pulling him closer.
Need like I have never known raced through me, and I thrilled as his fingers tangled in my hair. His mouth moved from my neck, gently sliding up as he began to place teasing kisses along the side of my face, coming closer, but never quite touching my lips.
"This is crazy," I murmured. "But, yes. Here with you,” I whispered, “yes, I believe in magic."
The slow, uneven smile that spread across his face assured me I'd chosen the right answer. Keller's lips found mine, and I was certain magic was real.
My lips brushed against his softly at first and then more demanding. His hands, his wonderful hands, were everywhere and I wanted them more than everywhere. My rain soaked shirt stuck to my body, but it didn't stop him from sliding his palms underneath the clinging fabric.
The heat of his touch set me on fire. His fingers caressed my skin and moved across my back. I wanted to touch him the same way he was touching me. I needed to touch him, everywhere.
My own hands found and spread out against the broad expanse of his chest, and I thrilled to feel his heart pounding as fast as my own.
The small space of the truck's cab offered little room to move, but somehow Keller managed to navigate the tight confines and pull me even closer. The full weight of him pressed against me, but still it wasn't enough. I couldn't imagine how it would ever be enough.
I wanted more of him.
More of this.
More of everything.
Keller pulled away from me but only for a moment, his hands still holding me close.
"Sweetheart," his voice, so familiar to me, was rich and husky as he broke the silence of our touch, "you are so beautiful."
I wanted to tell him that he was the one who was beautiful. That looking at him took my breath away. But words were not enough. I pulled his head back down, and his lips opened to mine. Locked in his embrace, there were no words needed to tell him what I felt.
This was happening.
This was magic.
Everywhere he touched, I melted. His trail of kisses blazed down my neck and then continued their journey going lower, lower.
My fingers knotted in the silky strands of his hair, pulling him to me. I wanted his lips on mine. I wanted to hold him close so he would continue his sweet exploration.
So many wants. So many needs.
I could feel the breath of his words against my skin as he tried to speak. His hands, holding me close only seconds ago, were trembling now as he eased away from me.
"Pagan, we've got to - "
A banging on the outside of the truck's window stopped Keller's words.
A startled gasp escaped from me as I tried to sit up quickly. The glass on all the windows was fogged over, so I couldn't see who was outside. Heat filled my checks, wondering what someone might have witnessed.
"Go away, Granger," Keller growled out in the silence of the truck.
"Granger? How do you know it's Granger?" I whispered frantic
ally.
A deep sigh escaped Keller's lips as he sat up straighter. I read regret in his eyes and something more, but it was gone before I could examine it further.
With trembling fingers, he reached over and brushed my hair back from my face and tucked the loose strands behind my ears. The look in his eyes was guarded now.
"I just know," he sighed deeply. "I always know, and I also know, he won't go away."
More banging on the window proved his point. Then Granger's voice yelled out, "Are you guys okay in there?"
Keller looked at me, one eyebrow arched, the familiar smirk taking over his features.
"Well, that was fun, love. I've definitely never had that good a time going home. And in case you were wondering, you can give me a ride any day."
The only thing that stopped me from slapping him was the audience waiting outside.
Reality was starting to sink in on what I'd almost let happen, and the embarrassment that was settling over me was making it hard for me to think straight.
I bit my bottom lip to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. What had I been thinking, to let myself get carried away with Keller of all people, and then to have Granger find us this way?
And even more confusing than all of that, was the feeling I had that I wished Granger hadn’t knocked on the glass. Deep down, there was a part of me that wanted the magic back.
Somehow, I managed to gather up the nerve to really look at Keller.
I don't know what I expected, but there was no tenderness there now. His caustic words and the smirk on his face were typical Keller.
Seeing that look helped quell down any other emotions I was feeling until anger was all that was left.
In the tight confines of the truck, I edged as far away from Keller as I could.
"What are you smirking at?"
Keller moved quickly, and I sucked in my breath as he leaned into me. Surely he wasn’t going to try and kiss me again?
I hated myself at that moment because there was a huge part of me that wanted him to, even angry at him, even with an audience waiting outside, my traitorous body still craved his touch.
Keller reached out his hand and placed it to the side of my head, resting it against the window.
Then with one finger, he drew the outline of a heart on the fogged up glass.
Inside the heart he wrote one word.
Magic.
The door on the passenger's side opened then, and Granger's head stuck inside as Keller moved away from me.
"Hey, Pagan."
Granger’s eyes were warm and friendly. If he thought it strange that after having a milkshake with him only an hour ago that I was now sitting in my truck with Keller and that the windows were completely fogged up, he didn't comment.
Instead he looked at Keller and said, "I thought you wanted me to meet you at the house with supper. You're late."
Ignoring Granger, Keller looked back at me. I couldn't read his expression, but his words were clipped when he asked, "Do you want to talk later?"
The quick shake of my head was followed by my verbal refusal. "No, I don't think so, Keller. We're good."
The right side of his mouth lifted in a half smile as he drawled out, "Well, you are, love, that's for sure."
His quick wink was followed by the slam of the door, and I was left alone before I could even think of a comeback.
The fog on the windows was quickly disappearing, and I watched Keller walk away and never look back. Granger waved at me before the two disappeared inside the house.
I sat there a moment with my hands on the steering wheel, willing myself to stop shaking. I wanted to only be angry, to pretend what had happened wasn't real. I had been scared and upset and the intimacy of the cab had all but provided the perfect environment for something crazy to occur. Everything I was telling myself sounded more than reasonable even if I knew it wasn't reality. But creating my own version of the truth helped, and because of it, I was able to put the truck in gear and pull away from Keller's house without falling into a million broken pieces.
When I glanced out my window again, I saw the heart Keller had traced was still there. I kept one hand on the steering wheel and grabbed the towel with the other and rubbed frantically to remove the drawing, but the outline and the word stubbornly remained on the glass.
Sighing, I realized I wasn't surprised.
Chapter Six
The telephone rang six times before I managed to snatch the receiver off the wall.
Gran watched from her seat at the kitchen table, eyes wide, as I raced to pick it up before the ringing stopped. I wasn't sure if the fact that someone was calling surprised her more or that I wanted to answer it. Having to talk on a phone that was attached to a wall did limit my privacy, but at least Gran moved into a different room while I took the call.
"Hello," I answered a little out of breath. I cradled the handset between my shoulder and cheek. The cord was hopelessly tangled so there was no way I could go very far.
"Hey, Pagan." Faith's friendly voice was on the other end of the receiver. "You do realize the fact that you don't have a cell phone is totally retro cool, right?"
I loved Faith's positive way of looking at even the lamest situation. No matter how she phrased it, though, there was nothing cool about not having my own phone. It was something I hoped to rectify once I got a job and had a way to pay for it and the service bill that went along with the phone. But after my failed job search two weeks ago, I was beginning to doubt it would ever happen.
Gran had offered again last week to buy me a phone, but I wasn't taking any more money from her than was necessary. She was already doing too much for me. Everything, really. As far as I was concerned, she shouldn't have to do anything more. Besides, as far out as we lived in the country, I was pretty sure any cell phone reception I would get wouldn't be great, or at least that's what I tried to believe to console myself.
"So," Faith's voice drawled across the line, "I told you I'd call today so we could make plans to drive into Nashville. Are you in or what?"
I had already talked to Gran about the possibility of going out with Faith and some friends from school, and she had been great about the idea. Since she'd hoped I'd make friends, having a girls' night out was definitely something she approved of me doing.
"Absolutely," I responded. "Why don't I meet you at the old store at the end of the road, and it'll save you the trip from your house all the way out to Fairvue. Gran is fine with us going out, but she doesn't trust my driving skills yet in downtown Nashville, so I can go as long as you do the driving. And of course, I'll help you with gas money."
"Not a problem, Pagan. Daddy gave me his credit card. My folks are going to some charity event, and they'll be gone most of the night. I think it eases their guilt of abandoning their only child most weekends by giving me lots of spending money." Her laughter took the sting out of her words.
"Hey, are you sure you don't mind other girls tagging along?"
I shook my head, and then realized she couldn't see me over the phone.
"No, of course not. I already told you that at school. It's time I started expanding my circle of social acquaintances."
My mind immediately brought forth a picture of Keller. I had barely talked to him since we had experienced what I now thought of as the close encounter where I was out of my mind.
With baby steps over the past couple of weeks, we'd managed to start being civil to each other again at school, but we seemed to have an unspoken agreement to pretend what had happened between us had never really occurred. I didn't run into him outside of school and that helped. I'd only seen him once working at Gran's and that had been from the safety of my bedroom window.
Keller had been unloading some bales of hay from the back of a wagon. He'd had on a navy baseball hat, jeans, and a T-shirt that had seen better days. As he worked, his movements were fluid and graceful despite the weight each bale contained.
He'd just finished up and was leaning
against the wagon when he looked up at the window where I stood. At the time, I wasn't sure if he could see me or not, but the way he kept staring made me move away and hide behind the curtain. I was pretty certain no one should look that good covered with dirt and sweat.
As for my relationship with Granger, it seemed like forever since he’d bought me a milkshake and then found me with Keller. After that day he'd become more withdrawn. He was still friendly but that was it.
With Granger and Keller on my mind, I was quick to add, "Not that our little lunch circle isn't interesting each day, but there's a bit too much testosterone in our current group. I could definitely use some girl time."
Faith's rich laugh carried across the line.
"Granger and Keller do add a lot of masculinity to whatever room they enter. There are girls at our school that would do anything to get their attention, but those boys don't seem interested. I've not heard of either of them dating anyone or at least not from around here. A girl in my history class was gossiping about them, and she said she heard they were both dating girls from out of town. Personally, I think she started that rumor herself to save face. I heard she got shot down cold by each of them. My theory is they've both got their eye on someone else, and I gotta tell ya, Pagan, if I weren't already dating Grant Walker, I would be insanely jealous of you."
I wanted to tell Faith she had it all wrong, but that would mean I'd have to prove why I knew she was wrong by telling her about what had happened between Keller and me. That was one thing I hadn't shared with Faith.
So rather than comment, I changed the subject and asked her if she would be seeing Grant anytime soon. Bringing up Grant's name was a sure way to move the conversation to a safer topic.
Faith was crazy about her boyfriend who attended a private school rather than our own public one. Unfortunately that meant she didn’t get to see him every day. I had seen so many pictures of him and been included in several video chats after school on Faith's phone that I felt like I knew Grant even though we hadn't yet officially met. I was hoping that would be corrected tonight and that he would be coming, too, so I could finally get to meet him.
Crossings: A Sovereign Guardians Novel Page 10
