by Carol Lee
“It was. . .a change. Thank you for working out all the details at such short notice. It was good to be away.”
“I’m glad to hear it. How are you doing since. . . your sister’s passing?” she asked hesitantly.
“That’s what I’m here to talk to you about. Some things have changed drastically since Sarah died in September. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’m going to be leaving at the end of the semester.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I didn’t expect to have my life turned upside down last fall, but that’s exactly what happened. Ottawa was a good temporary change of scenery, but I need something more drastic to feel like I can get my life back on track.”
“You know that we’ll support you fully in whatever decision you make, and if you stay, we’re all here to support you as well.”
“I know. And I appreciate how close the department is. It’s been a blessing working with everyone for so long—you’ve all become my family. But it’s time for me to move on, to take this leap and trust that it’s really what I need at this point.”
“You have my blessing. We’ll need you to finish out the semester, of course.”
“Oh, I plan to! I’m happy to be as close to the hiring process as needed, or completely hands off if that’s what you prefer.”
“We’ll cross that bridge in the next few weeks. Do you want a few days to tell people yourself before I send a formal announcement to the staff?”
“That would be great. Is there anything else you need from me at this point?”
“A formal letter of resignation with your intended end date will be needed so we can add it to your file.”
“Not a problem. Can you give me until the end of the week before you let everyone know? I’ll share the news personally with a few people before then.”
“That’s fine. I hope this is the best move for you,” she said sincerely.
“Me too.”
***
“I told the department chair today,” I told Sam after work.
“Congratulations! This calls for a visit. When is your next long weekend?”
“I only teach Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday this semester, so every weekend is a long weekend!” I told him happily.
“Why don’t you come out here tomorrow after work and spend Valentine’s with me to celebrate you leaving and moving in just a few months?”
“I’d love that,” I said. I’d timed it perfectly to put in my resignation.
“Also, Jack is back in town. He’s here to settle the will.”
“Great,” I said with a mixture of relief that he’d been found so I could ask him the questions I needed answers to, and fear at what those answers might be. “Have you seen him?”
“No. Allen ran into him at the hospital—”
“Is Allen OK?” I asked, suddenly worried.
“Yeah. And so is Krista. And their two new baby girls—Alexis and Avery!”
I could hear the excitement in his voice. “That’s great! When were they born?”
“Last week. They weren’t even early. They were both healthy and happy and on time.”
“That’s great! Send them my congratulations if you see them before I get there tomorrow. Is Allen working already or does he have paternity leave?”
“He’s taking this week off, but that’s the end of his paid vacation time. So he’s coming back on Monday to see how it goes. If Krista can’t handle it—her mom is staying with them for now too—then he’ll take some unpaid time.”
“I’m happy to hear that they’re all doing well,” I said, genuinely excited for the new family—the life change that Sarah had been hoping for so badly.
***
My last class on Thursday ended at four, so I had to do most of the drive in the dark. And the back roads of Vermont and New Hampshire are incredibly dark, with few street lights. I was thankful there was no new snow.
I got a chance to reflect one last time on the changes I had coming up—leaving the job I’d had for over five years and moving back to a town I had run away from as soon as I’d gotten the chance. Both seemed like exciting new opportunities now.
I also had time to think about the questions I needed to ask Jack—where had he been? What was he running from? Had he really been away on a business trip when Sarah died? Why was she even hiking if she’d learned she was pregnant? And she was so careful all the time, she would have checked the weather before heading out alone. Why hadn’t he kept in touch with any of their old friends? There were too many red flags that I couldn’t understand why her death hadn’t been investigated more by the police or even her friends.
“You made it!” Sam said as I walked through the door hours later.
“I did!” I said with a smile as I dropped my bags and let myself be engulfed by his hug.
“Congratulations again.”
“Thanks. I’m really excited about the new opportunities.”
“Me too. How was the drive here?”
“Boring—the way it should be!”
“I’m glad to hear it. Did you eat?” he asked. I could smell dinner.
“I didn’t. But I didn’t expect a meal either.”
“I couldn’t help myself,” he said as he turned and led me into the kitchen. The table was pushed up against the dark window, a chair on either side. There were two places set, each with a glass ready for wine, and candles between. I didn’t see the food, but I could smell it and suddenly my mouth watered. “Roast duck with blackberry sauce and butternut squash risotto.”
“You made this?” I asked incredulously.
“I did. I knew I’d have plenty of time so I made something extra delicious. And I’ve been taking a cooking class and we learned both of these things in the last few weeks.”
“A cooking class?”
“Allen talked me into it since Krista expected to be so busy with the babies that he’s had to learn to cook. He didn’t realize he was signing up for a higher level class. So he gave this one to me and then signed up for the beginner course,” he said, laughing.
“This smells incredible. I’m blown away,” I admitted.
“Have a seat and we can taste it. The backup is leftover pizza,” he said, guiding me to my chair and pouring the wine.
“You’re setting very high expectations for what living with you will be like,” I said, laughing.
“You’ve spent enough time here already that you know this isn’t the norm.”
Sam sliced the duck on the counter and brought the whole platter to the table. The risotto had been kept warm in the oven and the bowl was put on the table as well. I was suddenly starving, and perfectly content with the decisions I’d made about my future. We both dug in and enjoyed each others’ company.
***
“Are you working today?” I asked Sam when I heard him stirring next to me the next morning.
“Yeah. But I took Monday off. I thought this would give you a chance to see Jack before the weekend. I think the meeting with the lawyer is scheduled for Monday morning, so I thought I’d come with you. If you want me to,” he added quickly.
“That’d be great. I don’t know what to expect.”
“Are you ready to talk to Jack, or did you want to wait until Monday?”
“I’ll go over to his house today and see if he’s there. I know I need to talk to him, but it’ll be a hard conversation. And I’d rather do that one alone.”
“I heard he switched companies, so I don’t think he’ll be going into an office. If all of his recent travel was work related, it wasn’t the same company.”
“Good to know,” I said as I snuggled into Sam’s arms and kissed him, no longer concerned about my morning breath.
“It’s good to have you here,” he whispered on my lips as they turned upward into a smile.
“Soon enough, it will be everyday we get to wake up like this,” I whispered back.
“I’ll be late to work,” he said, pulling gently away from me.
“Just call in for an hour,” I suggested.
“We’ll have all weekend to be together. I need to shower.”
I followed him to the bathroom, into the shower and we got more time together. Following the shower, we ate breakfast together and then Sam left me alone for the day.
I took the morning slow, giving myself plenty of time to make sure Jack would be awake. But finally I couldn’t put it off any longer, and I drove to the last place I’d seen Sarah alive.
I parked next to what I assumed was Jack’s car, made sure to bring my cell phone in just in case, and knocked on the door. It took longer than I expected, but the door finally opened and I was face to face with my brother-in-law.
“Marissa,” he said, surprise in his eyes.
“Jack. It’s been a while. How are you holding up?” I asked innocently.
“It’s been tough. But I’m getting through,” he told me, looking behind him before stepping aside and waving his arm, inviting me in. “How are you? What are you doing here?”
“About the same—tough, but I’m making it work. I’m here visiting Sam and he told me you were back in town so I thought I’d stop by and say hi.”
“That’s great. Can I get you something to drink—tea, coffee?”
“Tea would be great.” I followed him into the kitchen and was surprised at how inviting the house was now that someone was home again. “What have you been up to? You haven’t been around that last few times I was in town.”
“I didn’t know you were stopping by. I’ve been staying with my brother,” he told me calmly as he put water in the kettle to heat on the stove.
“I forgot you had a brother—a twin, right?” I was skeptical he was there the whole time with all of his credit card activity.
“Yup.”
“Where’s he living?”
“South Carolina. I couldn’t handle staying here without Sarah so I’ve been staying with him the last few months before I figure out where I’m going next.”
“I get that. It’s a big change,” I sympathized.
“But you’ve been coming back a lot, then?”
“Yeah. I’m actually moving here in June. I’m moving in with Sam.”
“That’s great!” he said with genuine enthusiasm. My resolve at questioning him was dwindling. Maybe I just didn’t want Sarah’s death to be her own fault and I was looking for a scapegoat. “Are you going to be able to keep your job?”
“Nope, I just put in my resignation yesterday!”
“Congratulations?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m feeling great about it. Thanks for the tea,” I said as he set two cups on the table and took a seat across from me.
“No problem. It’s really good to see you, Marissa. I’ve had a hard time keeping ties with anyone from our life—people Sarah was closer to than I was. I know I should have made a bigger effort, especially with you, but I ran from my own feelings. I couldn’t face our memories that we couldn’t share anymore. They suddenly became mine, and I didn’t want them.”
I sat silently and let him talk, waiting for him to continue.
“Even Krista and Allen I’ve been bad about keeping in touch with. I heard Krista had her babies recently.”
“Yeah! Last week. I haven’t seen them, but I’ve heard everyone is doing well. They’re all healthy and happy. Two baby girls.”
“That’s great. Sarah would have been so excited for her. She always wanted kids.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Did you always want them too?”
“It took a little longer for me to come around to the idea, but I was really excited the second time she got pregnant. The first time was overwhelming and terrifying, but I was ready the second time. It was really hard on both of us when she lost the baby.”
“Did Sam or Allen tell you the results of the autopsy? I know that’s a while ago, but it came in after the funeral. I don’t know when you left town,” I asked.
“Allen called me that day. Blunt force trauma to the head. Hit her head on the way over the cliff, died before she hit the ground and broke her neck,” he said, looking away.
“Crazy. I didn’t know it was possible to die from a head injury immediately.”
“I guess if it’s a hard enough hit.”
“Did you know she was pregnant?” I asked, bringing the conversation back around the parenthood.
He looked at me with a combination of fear and longing in his eyes. “No.” I hadn’t spent much time with him, but I’d seen enough students lie to know he wasn’t telling me the truth. And Sarah couldn’t keep a secret for the life of her. She would have told him immediately.
“Do you think she knew she was pregnant?”
“She couldn’t have. She wouldn’t have gone hiking if she’d known. After the first two miscarriages, she told me that if she got pregnant again, she’d put herself on bed rest as soon as she found out so there was even less strain on the fetus.”
“That’s what I thought too,” I agreed, not giving away that I didn’t believe a word he was saying. “How’s work going?” I asked, changing the subject.
“I left my job. I tried to get a transfer, but they wanted me here. Even when I offered a pay cut, they said they needed me in this office. So I gave my two week notice and moved to South Carolina. I’ve been living on savings, but those are about to run out, so I’ve started looking for a job down there. I just can’t move back here.” He didn’t reveal anything about his travels.
“Sam said you’re here now to settle the will.”
“Yeah. On Monday. I meant to call you so you could be there. Did the lawyer get in touch with you?”
“No. Sam told me it was scheduled for Monday morning. What time and where?”
“The lawyer’s coming here at nine. Can you come then?”
“Yes. Is it OK if Sam comes too?”
“Sure.” He looked like he was done talking to me, or maybe about Sarah, so I stood to go.
“Thanks for the tea, Jack. It was great to see you. I hope things turn around for you. I’ll see you Monday morning.”
“Thanks for stopping by. Have a good weekend,” he said as he followed me to the door. We didn’t hug, like we used to. I could feel a distance opening up between us that our conversation had started.
I drove back to Sam’s and couldn’t stop thinking about the holes in Jack’s story and the questions I hadn’t asked.
***
Valentine’s weekend with Sam was incredible. But the whole time, I was thinking about seeing Jack again. I was glad Sam would be coming with me so he could gauge Jack’s body language and reactions. Something wasn’t right, and the more time I spent away from him, the more sure I was that he was responsible for Sarah’s death. I just had to prove it.
“Don’t be confrontational at all, just let Jack think we’re there because we love Sarah—which we do—but not because we’re also suspicious of him,” I told Sam Monday morning.
“Marissa, I know. I can’t say I’ve been in this situation before, but I’ve worked plenty of cases where I have to keep a straight face,” Sam reminded me.
“Right. I just know something fishy is going on and I think today will be a good chance to get him to open up and reveal more than he wants.”
“We’ll see what happens,” he said and wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest, my hands around his lower back, and was grateful for his presence.
The drive to Jack’s house seemed instantaneous. There were already two cars in the driveway—one I recognized as Jack’s, the other must have been the lawyer. I was more ready for this than I’d expected.
“Good morning,” Jack said as he opened the door before we knocked. He was expecting us and must have heard the car.
“Morning, Jack,” I said.
“Mr. Tolliday got here early. We’ve been waiting on you to show up before we started going through anything.”
“Thanks. You could have called to let us know to come sooner.”
“This was fine,” he said and we all walked inside.
“You must be Marissa,” Mr. Tolliday said.
“Yes.”
“I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks you. This is Sam,” I said, introducing him.
