by Jonas Sunico
More and more things are becoming unclear. The sudden outbreak. The sudden knowledge of some Filipino terms. This is more than an adventure, more than a fight for survival. It’s A Search for My Identity.
I’ve walked for at least 3 hours. I’ve made it to this street called Padre Faura and I’m nearing Quiapo Church I think. I’ve killed 23 zombies during that walk which brings my kill count to 32. I always try to sneak around. I would never dream of killing these things; they used to be people after all. And maybe it’s not too late for them.
There might still be a cure.
*BOOOOOOM*
I hear from behind me.
“Tae (got tired of saying shit), what now?”
The explosion is followed by gunshots. And somebody’s screaming “Saging lang ang may puso!” over and over again. It’s amazing how loud the voice was. It was manly, and I felt safe just by hearing it. It’s like the voice came from a washed-up but still overly manly action star from the late 80s.
I’ve got to get to that man.
5
There he was in his wicked awesomeness. Standing in front of the Supreme Court of the Philippines.
Carrying two AK47’s in each hand, his necktie was wrapped around his head. His clothes were strictly corporate: long sleeves, suit, slacks and leather shoes—and boy his clothes were damn bloody and tattered. Hundreds and hundreds of zombies lay dead in front of him (as if they weren’t already dead to begin with) while more hordes of zombies tried to devour him. Even Askal was astounded by his sheer display of bravado. Askal looked forward and was amused as to how this guy made head shot after head shot. But Askal looked at me after a few seconds. The same stupid and innocent look that he gives me everytime. I’m starting to think that there’s something in my face. Where’s a mirror when you need one?
Above him was a banner which said “Lito Rapid for Senator!!” The picture in the banner was him so that means that this badass right here is a senator.
“Wait… A senator? There is no such thing as a stupid senator! This guy is sure to be literate. Sa wakas!!!!”
But how do I get near him when his fan boys and fan girls are clawing and forcing their way to eat him? Judging by the number of dead zombies, ammo shells, bottled water and food, he must’ve been doing this for at least three days. I’m pretty sure he’s tired. I’ve got to get his attention somehow.
I’d run up and hug him in the manliest manner I could but it doesn’t look like I’ll blend in with the crowd. There are no buses to hide in. No trees to climb.
“Askal, be a good boy for me and bark.”
Askal once again twists his head in confusion. I forgot that the only language he understands is Filipino. Time to bring out the books.
“Uuuuummm…. Askal, tahol. Tahol makuha atensyon ni senador.”
At once Askal barks his lungs out. But I forgot something. People aren’t the only ones attracted to noise. All at once the zombies look at me. The senator looked as well. At least I got his attention. I can’t hear a word he’s saying from this distance but I think he’s saying I miss you… P*tangina raw.
“Askal, stop. Askal tama na. Shhh! Askal manahimik ka!”
The zombies start running in my direction. Shit. Bad luck Joe strikes again.
Wala nang ganong sombi rito sa Quiapo. Ilang tumbling at kembot lang din pala ang layo ng pupuntahan ko. Quiapo Church. Pero kelangan kong maniguro. Kelangan kong maging safe.
At ayun, sa paahan ni Jollibee ay isang mandirigmang napaslang. Isang mandirigma na sinubukang pumalag sa mga sombi. Isang mandirigmang jejemon. Pero di siya ang mahalaga ngayon. Ang mahalaga e yung hawak-hawak nya sa kamay nya: machete.
Eto na rin siguro ang isa sa sasalba sakin.
Mabigat siya nang konti. May dugo dugo pa. Pero sa kinang ng patalim neto, halatang matalas pa. Kelangan ko siyang itesting.
Mukhang narinig ng Diyos ang panalangin ko (siguro dahil malapit ako sa Quiapo Church), may dalawang sombi na naghiyawan at tila nahumaling sa ganda ko.
Charot.
Gutom ata sila. Gutom naman ata sila palagi e. Eto na, patakbo na sila papalapit sakin. Sinong swerte kaya ang unang matataga?
Nakahubad sila pareho at nakaposas sila sa isa’t-isa. Alam na. Malas naman netong mga ’to: nag-e-enjoy na, naudlot pa ata. Sa hita nakagat si ate, tas yung lalake nawawala yung… toot toot… niya, alam ko na kung san siya nakagat.
Eto ang simbolo ng kamalasan.
Tinadyakan ko ang lalaking sombi para mapaatras siya at makaladkad niya ang jowa niya. Yun na nga ang nangyari. At nung humilata na sila sa aspalto, pinagtataga ko sila. Nag-e-enjoy ako sa ginagawa ko. Di ko inakalang may pagkasadista pala ’ko. Chop chop sila e—Bwahahahaha.
Pero masyado akong nag-enjoy. Hindi ko napansin na may isa pa palang zombie na tumatakbo papalapit sakin.
Agad-agad niya ’kong dinaganan at buti na lang nagawa kong humarap sa kanya bago niya ’ko dambahin. Kung hindi, siguradong katapusan ko na pag nakatalikod at nakapatong siya saken.
Nakikipag-wrestling siya saken at balot na balot na kami sa dugo ng mga sombi na pinaslang ko. Kelangan kong magpalit ng damit pagtapos ko rito… Kung mabuhay pa ’ko.
Napalayo ang machete ko nung dinamba niya ako at mahigit isang minuto na kaming nag-wre-wrestling dito. Napapagod na ’ko at nauubusan na ’ko ng ideya.
Baboy na kung baboy at skwater na kung skwater pero eto na lang ang naisip kong gawin para mabuhay. Hinugot ko ang bituka nung sombi na babae (medyo naduwal ako sa ginagawa kong to). Madalian ko ’tong ginawa kasi pag binagalan ko magiging defenseless ako dahil isang kamay lang ang pinanglalaban ko sa hayop na nakapatong sakin.
Nung nakahugot na ’ko ng medyo mahabang bituka, binalot ko agad yun sa leeg ng sombi. Tapos ng leeg niya, binalot ko naman sa bunganga niya at hinugot ko nang hinugot ang bituka hanggang sa pumutok ang ulo niya. Madulas yung bituka pero nagawa ko namang kapitan. Buti na lang di ako pasmado.
Nandidiri ako sa sarili ko. Napakabaho ko na at napakadumi ko na rin.
Nakuha ng isang magandang blouse ang atensyon ko. Dun sa may Isetann. Ang ganda nung damit. Black and white siya at simpleng simple lang. I’ve got to have that.
Pero siyempre naligo muna ako. Bumalik ako sa Jollibee para maligo. #medyo-baboy kase ang ginamit kong sabon e yung nasa dispenser. Yung panghugas ng kamay.
Diretso agad ako sa Isetann pagkatapos ko. Nakayuko at halos pagapang akong tumawid. Mahirap na at baka may sombi na makarinig na naman sakin. Buti na lang at basag ang salamin dito. Di ko na kelangang pumasok pa sa loob. Baka sandamakmak na sombi ang nandun.
Agad-agad kong hinubad ang damit ko (oo naghubad ako ng damit sa gitna ng kalye, bakit may makakakita ba?… Sana nga meron) at nagpalit ako. Saktong sakto sakin yung damit. Kahugis ko pala yung mannequin. Tumingin ako sa salamin at grabe… Bagay sakin yung damit. Ang ganda ganda ko rito. Kaso may kulang e.
Hinubad ko ule yung blouse at binato ’to sa aspalto. Tinapaktapakan, pinagpagpagpag, pinunit-punit. At nang natapos ako… Perfect. Isang butas-butas at gusgusing blouse para sakin. Sa tinagal kong naging pulubi di na ’ko sanay na magsuot ng malinis na damit.
Nagmadali na kong pumunta sa Quiapo Church. Sabik na sabik na kong makakita ng taong makakausap. Maloloka na ’ko sa pagiging mag-isa e. At sana rin di naman mga sanggano ang mga taong nandun.
Pagdating ko sa Quiapo Church, bumungad sakin ang sandamukal na sombi na kumakalampag sa pinto ng simbahan. Panigurado di ako makakapasok mula rito. Kaya naman nag-ala-unggoy ako sa pagakyat ng bintana.
At pagpasok ko sa loob, may isang paring nakatayo sa gitna. Wow, pari nga nakasalamuha ko. Gusto ko agad mangumpisal.
Nang humarap siya, tumambad sakin ang panloob niyang kulay orange at may numerong #06082013. Isa siyang preso na nagsuot ng vestments ng pari. Tadtad din ng tattoo ang kanyang katawan. Sangganong sanggano ang dating niya.
“Welcome to the house of God. How may Father serve you? Savior…,” wika niya.
6
“Kayong tatlo ang sasalba sa mundong ’to,” sabi ni Father matapos ng walan
g kabuluhang kwentuhan namin na madalas na dumako sa topic na medyo bastos o kaya e brutal. Si Father talaga o.
Si Father na dating preso. Si Father na may toyo. Dito ako pinatulog ni Father sa isang kwarto sa loob ng Quiapo Church. May benteng kama rito. Kaso, ako lang ang mag-isang nandito. Akala ko rito rin matutulog si Father, kaso hindi. Bumalik sya sa kinatatayuan niya nung pumasok ako rito, at ayun tumayo siya ulit. May binubulong siya, e kaso di ko mabasa sa bibig niya kung ano. Gano na kaya katagal gising ’tong taong ’to? Tsaka kung sakaling may kabuluhan ang sinabi niya, sino yung dalawa pa kung tatlo kame? Sana si Daniel Patilla yung isa, hihi. Tas yung isa kahit na si Papa Ding Dong lang.
Di porke barumbado at asal kalye ako, e di na ’ko babae. Kinikilig pa rin ako sa mga gwapo. Except dun sa sikat na grupong “Chicter” na yun. Ew. Di pa ’ko nagkakajowa. Kung tatlo man kaming sasalba sa mundong to, sana lalaki yung isa sakanila.
Isang gwapo, matipuno, maginoo at matalinong lalaki. Ayokong mamatay nang di nakakatikim ng “heaven” sa piling ng lalaki. Di naman ako pakawala e, tao lang din naman ako na nacucurious.
Ayoko na ng mag-isa. Wala naman atang may gustong mag-isa e.
Siyempre kasama ko si Father ngayon, pero ano naman makukuha ko sa gurang na yun? Parang tatay ko na yun e. Tsaka kung bata bata man siya di naman siya mukhang interesado na pumasok sa isang relasyon.
In a relationship siya kay God. Araw araw, oras oras nga sila nag-uusap e.
Di ko alam kung bakit di ako natatakot. Siguro dahil nandito si Father na taimtim na nagdarasal sa baba. Ang sabi ni Father alam niya kung pano at sino ang nagsimula ng outbreak na ’to. Kaso di niya sinabi ang buong detalye. Kung sabagay, di rin naman siguro ko maniniwala sa taong may toyo.
Sabi niya, isang tao lang ang nagsimula ng outbreak na ’to. Napakababaw daw ng rason niya. Makakaharap ko raw yung taong yun pagtagal. At dapat daw ready kami kasi di lang basta basta ang control niya sa virus. Nakakatakot isipin na ganun kalakas kalaban namin. Di naman siguro totoo yun. Remember, may toyo si Father.
Di man lang niya sabihin pangalan niya; sabi lang niya siya si Father. Ang isa pa niyang sinabi tungkol sa sarili niya e dati siyang preso at ngayong nakatakas siya, magbabagong buhay na raw siya. Di rin niya sinabi kung anong kaso kinasangkutan niya.
Di ako mapakali sa lugar na ’to. Mukha namang mabait si Father, nagagawa pa ngang magdasal sa baba e. Pero mahirap nang magtiwala sa lalaki minsan. Aaminin ko mainit ang pagtanggap niya sakin sa lugar na ’to pero sa laki ng boobs ko mahirap nang maging kampante. Baka mamaya paggising ko kung san-san na sumasamba si Father.
Ngayon lang ako ulet nakaranas ng matutulugan na malambot—nasanay na ako dun sa tiles sa banyo ng Jollibee. Kaso mahirap makatulog pag madaming sombi ang kumakalampag sa pintuan ng simbahan. Kahit na pagod na pagod ako, feel ko di ako makaka….
Zzzz.
Nakatulog ako nang mahimbing. Alas dos na ng tanghali. Mahigit 15 oras akong tulog. “Sarap!” Sigaw ko.
Ssshhhhhhhhaaataaaaaahp!” sabi ni Father na hanggang ngayon, di pa rin kumikilos sa kinatatayuan niya kagabi. Agad-agad kong kinapa ang katawan ko… Mahirap na baka may nagalaw si Father kagabi. Pero sa tingin ko, di naman siya masamang tao. Mukha ngang naghanda pa siya ng agahan ko… Teka pati tanghalian nasa mesa. Ibig mong sabihin kahit na di ako nagising at bumangon, di niya inalis yung almusal ko? Dinagdagan niya pa ng tanghalian! Aba! God bless you Father.
Baba ako agad para kumain. Ang aking mga lalamunin: malamig na kape, malamig na instant pansit, malamig na isang lata ng Cow Ulam, isang baso ng maligamgam na tubig aaaaaaaat sabaw na may sebo! Yehey! Masaya talaga ko, ngayon lang ulit kase ako napaghandaan e.
“Fazher, khairn po trayo!” sabi ko habang punong puno ng pagkain ang bibig ko.
Lumingon lang si Father at ngumiti. Bakas sa mukha niya na isa siyang sanggano. May mga peklat siya; may bigoteng pangkontrabida rin tsaka yung tattoo na luha sa gilid ng mata niya na nagsisimbolo na member siya ng “footneck” sa bilibid. Nakakatakot siyang tignan… Kaso mukha naming nagbago na siya. Bakas din sa eye bags niya at sa haggardness niya na ilang araw na siyang walang tulog, siguro dahil dasal siya nang dasal.
“Sa tingin mo anong dasal ang kelangang dasalin ng isang taong nakapatay ng 5 inosenteng bata?” Bigla niyang sinabi.
Nabulunan ako Agad-agad. E anong isasagot ko? Jusko buti nga di ako humarurot sa takot e, naiwanan ko pa machete ko sa kama. Bullshit naman ’tong buhay na ’to. Baka ako na yung pang 6? O kaya, baka naman pang 5 pa lang!
Ayoko ng ganito! Naglalabasan lahat ng pawis ko. Di pa ’ko tapos lumunok, natatae na agad ako sa takot.
I’m still exhausted from the running yesterday. I survived the ordeal thanks to Senator Rapid, who conveniently was a former action star. His years in showbiz actually made him badass. There’s one problem though. He isn’t that good in English. He can surely protect me and Askal against any given odds but this lack of communication will surely be a burden.
Read. Learn. Survive.
I guess I’ll have to stick with these words. I thought that this adventure would be: Rely. Relax. Live. I’ll still have to learn Filipino if I want to stick with Mr. Senator.
To practice my Filipino once again, I wrote down the event of what happened yesterday. How me and Askal survived, and how Mr. Senator took down at least a hundred zombies with one knife.
Here’s how it went:
“Tinakbo ni Askal at ako ang haba ng P. Faura. We made takbo pabalik sa pinanggalingan naming since dami zombie sa tapat ng Supreme Court. We made kita Senator Rapid signaling us na pumasok sa near na bookstore, then sabi niya yuko us because sya ay dudurigin ang mga zombies.
“Ayun, kita namin ang pagkamasamang puwet (I couldn’t find a translation for badass so I roughly translated bad and ass). Pinagbabaril niya mga zombies gamit mga AK-47 niya at he was tumatawa habang bumabaril. Tapos may tanke siya ng gasoline tapos he threw it in the hangin… Tapos nun, he threw a kutsilyo in the tanke to make it go sabog. The zombies namatay silang lahat tas after ng 3 oras Mr. Senator made katok sa bookstore sabi niya pwede na daw kami mag go out. Tapos we made balik to the Supreme Court.”
That must’ve sounded awesome judging by the smile on Mr. Senator’s face when he read it. He then proceeded to tell me his story. His life and how it got to where it is. It was hard understanding him but I commend him for trying hard. He and I are alike. Two individuals forced to speak a tongue we weren’t born with.
I told him about Quiapo Church this morning. He said he’d talk to me about it later this day. I guess we’re going to talk about it now since he’s dressed up in battle gear. Necktie for a bandana, grenades, knives, guns… This dude is the shit.
“Pupunta tayo sa Quiapo. May sense yang sinabi mo e, baka nga buhay yung mga sanggano dun. Ngayong gabi tayo kikilos para di gano active mga zombie. Gets mo ko?” he said.
I nodded politely. Whatever he said, it was sure to be positive since Askal barked happily. But before we went outside, there was something that bothered me.
“Ano yung sabi mo yesterday? Saging lang ang may kuto? Saging lang ang may puto?”
He answered quickly, “Saging lang ang may puso. We people are often ask kung what animal or fruit ang maging gusto natin. I choose to be a saging… A banana. I choose it because banana is the only fruit that has heart. It’s a line from a movie na gawa ko.”
I understood what he said. I got it clearly. Banana trees grow hearts. This dude right here has heart.
I’m with the right person. I think I can manage to read, learn and survive through this apocalypse as long as he’s with me. By the look on Askal’s face, the look of astonishment, pagkahanga, he likes this guy too.
I think I’m going gay for him… Nah… Wait… I really think I’m going gay for him. Man this apocalypse is getting me fucked up. I need to talk to a girl. NGAYON DIN!
7
Linggo, Lunes, Martes, Miyerkules, Huwebes, Biyernes, Sabado.
Isa, Dalawa, Tatlo, Apat, Lima, Anim, Pito, Walo, Siyam, Sampu.
Ngayon ay Martes. Ika-6 ng Hunyo. Alas-
nuebe na ng gabi.
Lalake, babae, bakla, tibo, butiki, baboy, aso, pusa.
Mr. Senator taught me a couple of words. Basic words that I forgot to study. We’ve been walking for a while now and I learned a lot from him. The Philippines is an amazing country, judging by his description; “amazing, beautiful, cute… More fun in the Philippines” is what he said. But it’s not without its flaws. Mr. Senator said that the country is indeed beautiful; it’s the people inside it that make it bad. The government to be exact.
He gave me a short description of what the politics is like in the Philippines. Basura. Garbage. Trash. Kinda harsh and rough coming from someone who works in the same sector. But I think Mr. Senator here is different. He is a saging anyway. Meron siyang puso.
While walking, he asked about me and Askal and how we came to be. I told him the story: the kiss, the way he saved my life, the way he depletes my food supply. Then I got to telling Mr. Senator the name of the majestic Siberian Husky I was with. Askal.
He laughed hysterically. He said; “Askal? For him? Hahaha that’s nakakaloko bata.” Of course I asked him why he was laughing. But trouble came before he opened his mouth.
We were sneaking all the way through the streets of Manila. We took the highway because the cars provided good cover. We were silent till we reached Quirino Grandstand. That’s when we started talking. The place was completely desolated and it was as if the zombies were avoiding it. Before entering the place, Mr. Senator and I came across two zombies. The zombies didn’t attack us, but it looked like they were running away from something. Like they were trying to avoid an alpha zombie.
We should’ve followed their lead. What we faced inside was much worse.
It was a zombie, but not a simple zombie. This zombie was bloated but he wasn’t fat. Its arms and legs, its entire body was that of someone malnourished but it’s stomach was that of someone… “Buntis ’tong hayop na ’to aah. Buntis na lalaki??” Mr. Senator said. I didn’t need the books to translate what he said. I know what exactly he means.
