Mona brushed my hair for me as we made small talk about the incense she was going to use for the day. I couldn’t tell what most of the scents she named were, so I asked her to stick with what she’d used the past two days.
She then told me that food would be ready soon and I thanked her before she left the room, closing the door behind her.
I checked myself in the mirror, being very aware that that dress definitely made my breasts look bigger. My diamond cross necklace just looked perfect with anything I wore. Smiling, I went to the secret door into the living room and opened it, stepping inside.
The prince was sitting in the same armchair he’d been sitting in earlier, his head leaning back as he breathed evenly with his eyes closed, seeming to have slept while sitting there.
He looked...adorable, a term that I was pretty sure this powerful man in front of me wouldn’t like to hear me saying out loud about his looks.
I found myself smiling sweetly as I studied his beautiful face. His jaw was simply perfect, and his cheekbones still called to me to touch them, kiss them even. They just looked so soft and...touchable.
On his lap lay a few papers that had things on them I couldn’t understand, scripts and patterns I didn’t know what they meant. I briefly wondered if he was writing in his diary or something, but they were papers, not a notebook. The blue ink pen was still in his hand, his knuckles had a light shade of blue bruises on them and I wanted to kiss it away.
I reached to take the pen from his hand, but just an inch before my hand touched the pen, the prince’s hand caught mine and he grabbed it hard, holding it in place. I yelped when his grip on it tightened, as he jerked his body up in a split second to stand fully on his feet.
His already wide eyes, that were staring at my equally wide ones, grew even larger when he realized it was me he was holding by the hand. He let out a word that sounded like a curse before he instantly loosened his grip on my hand, but didn’t completely let it go.
“Princess!” he said, taking my hand and bringing it to his mouth to kiss the back of it. “I’m sorry.” He kissed the inside of it, “I’m so sorry,” before rubbing my wrist where he had gripped.
My shock was replaced with the warmth that his kiss sent straight to my heart, and the calmness that washed over my every sense. I smiled at him, reassuring him that I was fine. “I’m sorry I startled you,” I apologized with a soft voice.
“No, it’s okay, I don’t know how that happened,” he said, cracking his neck on both sides.
I smiled. “You’re human; humans tend to sleep every now and then, you know?”
His smile was kind when he returned mine, and then he brought the back of my hand to his lips and kissed it again, rubbing it one more time before letting it go. He got down on one knee and collected the papers off of the floor, then went to do the same thing he’d done to the papers when he taught me about the secret passageways: burn them in a trash can.
When he was done, he said, “I wonder what time it is.” I replied that it was almost three, for it was two-thirty before I came into the living room.
“You should get some sleep,” I told him.
“No, it’s a good thing you woke me up, I should pray before I miss it,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll be right back.” I nodded, smiling, wondering if he’d noticed my dress or was going to comment on it–something in me wanted to hear a compliment from him, which was so unlike me. It was never something I’d wanted. I knew I was beautiful, and I never fished for compliments from anyone to prove to myself that I really was–but it was different with him.
Sighing, I went to the window and gazed out of it, my thoughts worrying me a bit. I wanted to follow the prince and watch him while he prayed–because I liked doing that so much–but I stopped myself. Something was changing inside of me, my feelings and...my views.
It was like I wanted him to stay close, very close. I didn’t want him to be in one room while I was in the other–a fact that I was a little bit aware of even before I’d tried to escape. Even then, I’d known that I was keeping the pain I was feeling, at the thought of never seeing him again, blocked away until I got back home where I could think clearly, and cry freely.
It was like I wanted him to always look at me that way he looked at me: kindly, smiling, and even admiring, as I liked to think. Because when his eyes held other emotions than that, it felt like I would do anything in my power to make him like me again.
It was like I wanted to hear him calling me Beautiful Princess more than calling me just Princess, and I actually wanted him to call me his princess more than calling me anything at all.
I was developing feelings for him–of that I’d become very aware–and the thought was very worrying. Not because of what he was, or who he was, but because I’d never allowed anyone to have that kind of power over my heart, over me.
I’d liked someone before, and had admired another, was maybe head over heels for yet someone else, but for the prince? It was something stronger, much stronger. That wasn’t only worrisome, it was actually scary. Because if that ended, I wouldn’t handle the heartache very well. I had never been able to, and I knew that with him, it’d be even harder, almost impossible to get over.
Oh, God! Did I just say ‘if that ended’ and not ‘when it ends’? That’s not good.
“Princess?” The prince’s voice brought me back from my thoughts, and I turned to see him standing beside me, a smile on his lips and warmth in his eyes. “Welcome back to Earth.”
I returned his smile. “Yeah, I didn’t hear you coming.”
“What were you thinking about?” His smile remained as he asked me the question softly, the sun’s rays shining from the window and into his eyes, causing them to sweetly narrow a bit, and for the green in them to brighten even more.
You.
I shrugged one shoulder, because the answer to that question wasn’t something I wanted to say. Then I asked, “Any news about Janna?”
“Yeah, they stopped for fuel a few hours ago,” he said. “She’ll land in an hour or so.”
I nodded, pursing my lips, and then fidgeted with the sleeve of my dress as I gazed out the window. I wanted to know about her condition so badly, but I knew I couldn’t ask him that. I figured I’d just ask Mona later when the chance arose.
“Why didn’t you wear something more comfortable, Princess?” he asked. “No one is visiting us today.”
“Um…I–uh, I just thought it looked nice.” I twisted my lips to the side and looked away, hoping the embarrassed blush would go unnoticed.
“You look stunning in anything you wear, Princess,” he said. My embarrassed blush turned into a shy one, deepening even more and causing me to look down while smiling bashfully. But then, the prince’s hand touched mine and he held it, causing me to look up at his face. “But I have to admit that this–” he brought our hands up and made me spin in my place, showing off my whole dress to him with a grin plastered on my face, “makes you look exquisite.”
I giggled softly and bit my bottom lip, and his hand pulled me closer to him.
He put his other hand on the middle of my back, then kissed my hair. I closed my eyes and sighed, wishing he’d leave me there for a few moments–or a long while, because I liked his closeness so much, more than I liked to admit.
I didn’t get my wishes answered, though, because we heard a knock on the door the next second, and the prince pulled his head away slightly. “Come in,” the prince called.
Mona entered, and her smile grew, then she looked down, the smile still on her face as she spoke. “The food is ready; where should I put it, Your Highnesses?”
“Wherever the princess prefers,” he said, smiling down at me as he spoke.
I smiled back. “Here would be fine. Thank you, Mona.”
“My pleasure, Princess,” she nodded before leaving the room.
“You seem distant,” I told the prince. The whole time we ate, he smiled and would comment now and then on this or
that, ask me if I liked the food and so on, but then he would space out and it was like he wasn’t even in the room.
“Yeah, sorry about it,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, then relaxing back into the armchair he was sitting in.
“What is it?” I asked him, folding my legs underneath me as I adjusted myself on the couch right next to him.
“It’s just...lots of things are on my mind,” he sighed.
I wanted him to tell me, to talk to me, but didn’t know how to tell him that. I didn’t know if he trusted me–not after what had happened, anyway. “What were you writing on those papers?” I tried to circle around the idea, hoping that he’d tell me what was occupying his thoughts this way on his own.
“I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t mind.” he said, and the words “my thoughts” were his answer.
“Your thoughts?”
“Yes.”
“Why write them down on paper if they were in your head?” I smiled, the space between my eyebrows wrinkling in confusion.
“Because they seem clearer that way, Princess,” he smiled back as he answered. “You have no idea what a huge mess my mind is nowadays, and I really want to do the right thing regarding everything and…everyone,” he said.
I put a hand under my chin and leaned my elbow on the arm of the couch, looking deeply into his eyes. “What’s bothering you so much?” I asked.
The prince sighed again. “Lots of things, too many to count, but what worries me the most is Janna.”
“Oh! But we were just informed that she landed safely,” I reminded him, though I doubted he’d forgotten that.
“It’s not only about that. Princess Janna is...troubled,” he said, and I realized he didn’t want to tell me about her suicide attempt.
“She’s been through a lot; she has all the right to be.” I said.
“I know, I just...worry about her a lot,” he told me. “She’s my baby sister.”
“You’re a wonderful brother.”
“Am I?” he asked. “Why do I feel like I’ve failed her then?”
“Failed her? How come? You gave up lots of things for her,” I reassured him, surprising myself, but blaming it at the same time for being so stupid when I thought for a split second that he could even think of killing her–and then actually accusing him of doing it.
“I don’t know, Princess,” he started. “We’ve been best friends since forever. When I had to leave for school and couldn’t keep my eye on her like I had before, we talked every day on the phone. The last few months before I came back, she seemed different, but I didn’t dwell on it. I should’ve known better. I can’t help but feel as if I couldn’t protect her well enough. If I’d been here, none of this would’ve happened to her,” he paused, his eyes focused on mine. “But I believe God has a plan and everything happens for a reason; I simply can’t feel at ease about it, is all.”
“You can’t blame yourself for what happened,” I said, my chest aching just thinking of the possibility of never meeting him if things weren’t the way they were right now.
“I feel like...if I’d been here, if I’d talked to her more, if I hadn’t made her feel so bad about what she’d done; she wouldn’t…” He sighed, and I understood that he seriously wasn’t going to tell me about what had happened. I wondered if it was a trust issue, or because he didn’t want me to feel guilty about it. I decided it must be the latter, since he was already sharing so much with me, something that made me want to hug him tight and never let go.
“Last night was...it was really bad, Princess. I might’ve lost her for good, something I would never be able to live with. She was so depressed, so broken. But then we talked...and I saw it right before my eyes as she brightened, as if talking to me was all she needed to feel better, to think better. Though I’m happy I got her to see things more clearly, I’m devastated that I didn’t do it long ago, and that I actually punished her by giving her the cold shoulder, making her feel as if I’d cut her out of my life.”
I felt so sad for him, for her, for everything. I wished I could make it better, but...I’d actually made it worse, or at least caused them lots of trouble they didn’t need on top of everything else they were already going through. I wanted to help, and I actually realized that I wanted to stay–six months wouldn’t be so bad.
I could make it, I told myself. But a part of me knew I wasn’t going to do it only for Janna’s sake, but for mine as well. The same part wondered what would happen when the six months ended and I would have to go back to the States, leaving him behind and never seeing him again.
The thought was disturbing.
“And then there’s Yoseph,” the prince continued. “I keep asking myself if it was the right thing to have her leave the kingdom and be with him. I mean, just the thought of what he did to his own sister…” he shook his head, his lips pressed into a tight line.
I had to say something. I had to help him put his mind at ease. “Listen, it takes a whole lot for me to say this, but it’s the truth: Joseph is a good person,” I said, my heart not forgiving him, but my tongue speaking the truth. “He loves Janna so much, I’d never seen him that crazy about someone before. He made lots of mistakes, he made some very bad moves, but it was all for her, to save her life. He did that to his own sister because he loved yours beyond words, don’t you think?” I told him almost the same words I’d told Janna just few days ago, and for the same reasons: to reassure and comfort.
The prince looked at me for a moment or two before nodding. “That’s very close to what I told her, because she didn’t even want to go. She blamed herself for all you’ve gone through because of her, but God knows even saying that was hard, let alone actually believing it. But it helped ease her pain a bit, and that’s all that matters,” he said. “I made sure she’ll get the best medical and mental care over there, but it’s still not easy.”
“She’s going to be okay,” I assured him. “Joseph will take good care of her, I know he will.”
“He has to, if he wants to keep his balls attached to his body,” he said sternly, then he smiled sheepishly for what he’d said. “Pardon my French, Princess.”
I actually giggled at that, shaking my head, and a minute passed in silence. I missed his voice in that minute; I wanted him to speak nonstop. It was crazy that way.
“Tell me,” I said, “have you ever done that before?”
“Done what, spoken in French?” he grinned.
I narrowed my eyes playfully at him, and he chuckled.
“No, Princess, never,” he said. “But last night? I was really close.” The seriousness in his tone was actually scary, as if he really meant it.
“Oh!” I said. “The guard?”
“Huh! He wishes!”
My eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Trust me, Princess,” the prince said.
“Because women are so underestimated around here?” I wondered. It was what I’d heard.
“Absolutely not!” he replied instantly. “Women are like precious jewels: handled with care, protected, cherished–he surely is not a diamond!”
His words warmed my heart, but still… “Huh! Why was dressing him in women’s clothes the biggest insult to him, then?”
“He’s a royal guard–was: they are known for their power, strength, masculinity,” he said. “Nothing would be more insulting to an Arab man, let alone a royal guard, than questioning those things, Princess. This way, everyone who sees him will know he couldn’t protect a woman, making him less of a man than people thought he was.”
One black key: found.
“I see,” I said, a bit embarrassed for assuming the worst. I remembered when the queen told him that maybe he wasn’t man enough for not sleeping with me yet, and how she’d said it in my language so I would understand it, so he would be humiliated even more. I remembered how it upset him so much to hear those words, that he needed some time by himself afterward. She questioned his manhood, and it
was certainly insulting to him, an Arab man, though I doubted any man wouldn’t be insulted by something like that.
“Then who?”
“Jasem.” He said it in a way, you’d think it tasted bitter to even pronounce his name. “He crossed many lines.”
“Has he always been like that?”
“Since forever,” the prince replied. “He was after Janna when he found you, and the fact that I don’t know the reason why is driving me insane, let alone that he knew when the limousine left the palace. It’s really disastrous to think that he might have a spy in here.”
“You really have a lot to deal with, so much weight on your shoulders,” I said softly.
The prince smiled a small smile, shaking his head slightly. “Royalty is a dirty game, Princess,” he said, then he rubbed the back of his neck again.
“Is your neck sore?” I asked, imagining that not sleeping in a bed the past few nights and then nodding off in an armchair earlier surely had taken its toll on his neck.
“A bit,” he said.
I got up and his eyes followed me as I moved to stand behind his chair. I put my hands around his neck tenderly.
“What are you doing?” the prince asked.
“Shhh, relax. I’m giving you a neck and shoulder massage. I have magical fingers,” I grinned with pride.
“You don’t hav–… Ohhh!”
Gotcha!
I smiled softly as I felt his tense shoulders relaxing right beneath my fingers. He really was very tense and I seriously felt bad for him. The poor guy’s head was just as he’d said–messy, maybe even a lot more than mine, too many thoughts. He had a lot to take care of, a lot to deal with. He was responsible for so many things already, with even more responsibilities to come after he would be crowned king. It was far too much.
Black Keys (The Colorblind Trilogy #1) Page 31
