by Josh Karnes
* * *
James paid the check and hailed a taxi. They rode back to the resort in uncomfortable silence. James wondered what was going on in her head. Was she working out how to make it work? Did she really consider James’s insistence that he hasn’t become a corrupt man? Did she want to believe that he was still the man she married? Or was she plotting her exit from this relationship? Figuring out how to tread water until Joey graduates and goes off to college, then she can leave and not worry so much about the impact on the kids?
Melissa, for her part, stared out the taxi window and settled on a realization: she had spent the last two years slowly cultivating this disdain for James for what he had done. She felt betrayed. She had entrusted her family to James. She believed he would always do the right thing, and then one day he didn’t. It was like a slap in the face. A complete betrayal. The rug pulled from under her. Her immediate response to the situation was to yell, scream, and fight. To run. To leave. But then some things got so much easier. It was true, they were headed for a financial disaster. And then suddenly they paid off all of their bills, bought new cars and a new house, and could just cross ‘money’ off of their list of worries. Wasn't this a good thing? Shouldn't she be thankful for that? It was very attractive. It was hard to leave now. It was just so easy to stay. She was still disappointed in James, but she was getting used to the money. She knew that if she divorced James, she would get half of the money, but that just didn’t feel right. If she was going to get the benefit of his money, she should have to pay some price. And that price was pretending that everything was ok and enduring living with a man she no longer looked up to. A man she no longer respected.
James didn’t try to talk to Melissa the entire taxi ride, and she was freezing him out when they got back. She walked into the bathroom, came out with her trim body peeking out from her bikini, with a hat and sunglasses on and a magazine under her arm and walked straight out the door. James asked, “where are you going?” and she just closed the door without answering or even acknowledging the question. The boys would be back in a couple of hours, so James decided he’d just head to the marina and wait for them there. He convinced himself that he was letting Melissa have her space. She’d snap out of it and join them at the marina by the time the boys got there. Truth was, he wasn’t strong enough to face her.
James found a bar on the walk to the marina, ordered a beer and then wondered if his life was really completely ruined. Bono sang, “Love, rescue me” over the speakers in the beach side bar.
Yes, James thought to himself, Love, rescue me.
